Getting The Most Out Of Your Pick-Up Time

September 14, 2011 by  
Filed under Tips & Tricks

Sinn, over at his blog Sinns Of Attraction, has a pretty good post up about how to maximize your time when you’re out picking up girls.  They’re pretty basic rules, but good to follow none the less.

Sinn writes:

The 5 rules for maximizing your pick up time are:

1. Set goals for your time. A lot of guys go out with the goal of “doing some approaches” or ” Working on their game” then they end up standing around by the bar “getting comfortable”. Instead you want to set a # of approaches you want to attempt in the set amount of time. Once you do that you know how much time you should have between approaches as well.

2. Approach Right away. I personally have to do a few warm up approaches in order to make the transition from anti-social to social. Most of you guys reading this are the same way. So you need to approach as soon as you get into the venue. It doesn’t have to be the girl of your dreams but you need to get used to immediately switching into “social mode.”

3. Don’t spend more than 25 minutes in a row with any one girl, unless you KNOW it’s on. This is my biggest personal sticking point as I like talking to girls and will enjoy chatting even if it’s not going anywhere. It’s a mistake. Instead you want to keep the interactions to 25 minutes or less until you have a really good sense it’s on.

4. Don’t be afraid to walk away. When it’s obviously not going anywhere, don’t be afraid to leave the interaction. Now if you’re a newer guy it may be worth it to “plow” for 10 minutes to get practice with that sort of thing but if you’re already fairly successful and it’s not working, just leave.

5. Re-approach girls you talked to briefly later on. Sometimes walking away is the only way to get the girls to change their minds about you. But at the same time it’s worth going back and talking to the girls you approached earlier later in the night as things change quickly. Same thing for short sets during the day. A lot of the time girls will like you better the second time around.

Knowing to approach quickly and when to eject from a set are two skills which will really help you to maximize your success when it comes to meeting women.  Waiting too long to approach a girl, and talking to a girl you don’t have a chance with for too long are probably the two biggest mistakes guys make when they’re first starting out.

Office Pick-Up Tips

September 1, 2010 by  
Filed under Tips & Tricks

A poster by the name of Dastardly Fox posted a question on the mASF boards about how to pick up a girl at his office.

Dastardly Fox writes:
There is a super hot blonde (hands down 10 and never uses makeup) here at my firm, we’ve had several exchanges and she acts like a school girl and gets nervous when we talk (good nervous, clearly attracted to me) and I’m looking for good ways that would let me lead this outside the office for the next stage.  One catch it’s a law firm so I need to keep the office Convo light and fun (don’t Need harassment on my resume)

Oh and I’m not worried about a workplace romance going sour, she’s extremely shy (very smart book work lawyer) im discrete and the firm is huge, so we hardly run into each other and even work on the same floor.  My boy in the kitchen tells me that I’m hot shit because the women talk about me, and I’m attractive so no issues here, its all in the delivery and reason I think. the only catch is that I’m going to have to go out of my way to initiate this, or wait till the next hall encounter… Ideas? Email, phone call, wait for our next hall chat, or walk to her office and just ask? I don’t normally date at work so this is new, but she is by far the finest woman I’ve seen since the last fine woman I saw.

Okay, so when it comes to picking up women at the office/workplace, here are some of Thundercat’s tips…

First of all, try and not present yourself as a “co-worker.”  Being a “co-worker” can scare off women from dating you.  You need to come off as being an “outsider.”  Someone who just happens to work at the same place.  So talking about stuff that doesn’t involve work is a must!

Second, organize out-of-office events that get people to hang out with you in a non-work setting.  In Fox’s case, he could organize a meeting at a nearby bar or restaurant after work, and invite the girl he likes to join him there.  And since there is a group of co-workers meeting, it doesn’t feel like a high-intensity date-type-thingie.

Third, connect with her as much as possible.  Friend her on Facebook, text her if you have her number, email with her, IM, etc.  Do anything possible to chat her up when you’re not in direct contact with her.  This allows you to do all the attraction building stuff you need to.

Fourth, get her to meet you outside the office/workplace where it’s just the two of you.  Grabbing dinner, drinks, whatever.

Finally, be prepared for any objections she may have to dating a co-worker.  Try and anticipate what problems she might have and come up with responses to them BEFORE they arise.

Most people spend like 70% of their day at work, so its natural to want to date out of the workplace.  Just be prepared to handle the consequences if things don’t turn out well!  I personally think it’s worth the risk, but just realize that if a woman isn’t interested, it’s probably not a good idea to pursue it like you would with a woman you don’t work with.

How To Pick Up Drunk Sorority Girls

August 24, 2010 by  
Filed under Tips & Tricks

Jukebox535 over on the attraction forums had a question about how to properly sleaze on college girls as they stumble by in a drunken stupor…

Jukebox535 writes:
I was at this house on greek row and there were literally packs of hot girls going by I tried the 2-kiss opinion opener like 10 times got shot down every time. It held their attention for like 30 seconds and thats it. Whats a better way to hold their attention then try and get them in the house.

Here’s what I know about picking up sorority girls in college…

First of all, using opinion openers on girls as they are walking by your place usually isn’t the best tactic.  Secondly, if you’re AT a frat house, why in the world are YOU doing any work to pull girls to the house?  Shouldn’t the frat be luring women in with the promise of free beer to begin with?  But I digress…

First of all, if you’re out trying to pick up girls at college, and it’s a weeknight, packs of them are roaming around going to the bars, clubs, parties, etc. – realize that you need to engage the GROUP as a whole, not just one or two of the girls.  They are in “pack” mode and walking together to a pre-determined destination.  One of them will not stop to talk to you because they entire group is moving.

So when engaging the group, don’t expect to get them to stop and chat with you.  Instead, you want to find out where the group is going.  Once you have their destination, that is where you should go if you want to try and pick them up.

A tricky thing here is that college girls won’t usually volunteer the information of where they are going.  This is a safety thing.  Sure, some might, but if you ask “Hey, where are you all going?” before you’ve properly established any kind of rapport, chances are good they won’t tell you – especially if it’s a small group of women, like two or three.  The reason?  They don’t want some guy they don’t know following them!  Duh.

It’s actually more appropriate to ask where they came from.  Something like “Hey, what party did you guys just come from?” can do the trick.  If they say “we didn’t come from a party,” then you can say something like “Well, you’re obviously going to one.  Let me guess – you’re headed to (local bar/club/frathouse/etc)?  I hear that’s where it’s at tonight.”  From there the girls will usually tell you where they are going.  Once you find this out, you can do something like “You guys should really have an escort to keep away all the annoying drunk guys from hitting on you.”  Then volunteer your services.

Also, if you’re looking to pick up sorority girls SPECIFICALLY, it helps to know what frats are affiliate with what sororities.  So try and familiarize yourself with the greek system at your school if you can, so you know where the girls like to go for parties and functions.

How NOT To Try And Pick Up A Mom…

August 24, 2010 by  
Filed under Tips & Tricks

A female poster by the name of Lovergirl over on mASF had some choice advice about how not to go about picking up women with kids…

Lovergirl writes:
Okay, as some of you know I have 5 kids so this is a big pet peeve of mine. I absolutely HATE it when men (loudly) try to get my phone number IN FRONT OF MY CHILDREN. WTF are they thinking??? I don’t care WHO it is, what they look like, their approach or anything, if my kids are RIGHT THERE LISTENING I cannot give my phone number to you!! Good lord!!

Yesterday I was at the grocery store loading my bags into the van and this guy walks up to me and asks me for GAS MONEY (claiming he had run out…which is pretty damn lame to begin with, who wants to get with a broke ass man in the first place.. but I think that was just a way to talk to me because there were a zillion other people in the parking lot and he wasn’t bothering any of them and he went straight to trying to talk to me when I told him NO I didn’t have any money…good god!) He starts going on about how much he likes my hair and how beautiful he thinks I am, blah blah and my kids are all climbing in and sitting right where they can HEAR him. He asked for my phone number and I said no and that I have 5 kids (hint, hint, they are sitting RIGHT THERE) and so he is like “I don’t care about that!” and won’t let up!! I had to say no like 3 or 4 times and I was probably turning about 5 shades of red it was sooo embarrassing to me in front of my KIDS. Then of course I have to explain to them that Mommy does not give her phone number to random guys in parking lots! I mean, seriously, how would that make my kids feel if they were to see me do that?? THINK PEOPLE before you do something like that!

Okay, I’m done…lol It’s just that it is NOT the first time this has happened to me and I do not get what men are thinking. If you are going to talk to a woman and her kids are there at least talk quietly and take her aside where they cannot hear what you are saying. Use some common sense!

Think of the kids!  Good lord – THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!!!!!!


Honestly, I got nothing against single mothers.  But sweet Jesus – 5 KIDS???  You should be thankful you’re getting approached at all, lady.  (I’m just sayin’.)

How To Pick Up Bartenders

August 20, 2010 by  
Filed under Tips & Tricks

IAmMaximus started an interesting thread on mASF about how to get hired guns while out picking up, which prompted this response from poster Joseph Went South, which I thought was pretty good…

Joseph Went South writes:
I picked up a couple of bartenders in my time. I did it by being chill and not trying to “game” her like every other guy in there was doing, not capturing the obvious facts that she is making YOU feel good in exchange for MONEY.

If I got good service I would tip well, but not embarrasingly so. Just show her I really appreciate her fine ass and fine attitude and it’s all good, nothing in return is expected. I am not saying, “I appreciate this service” when not giving a fuck about the service but really trying to fuck her. IOW I mean what I say.

If a woman is attracted to you and she is socially popular with lots of guys chasing her there will come a point early on where she will test you for confidence. It can be anything: prolonged eye contact, teasing you about your drink choice or something you’re wearing, flirting with athlete chodes and tall geeks. How you react will often determine if she’ll INVITE YOU to escalate, or not.

I found bartenders who were surprised by the outcome and then realized they were having impure thoughts in connection with their good boyfriends, and went directly back to business. In many cases this still turned out ok because we became friends with mutual respect, and I could count on her to give me an assist if I brought a girl to the bar. There was one bar in Edmonton where I had several friendly female bartenders like this. Before I left, I was bringing one or two new girls there every week! So you can see the advantage of a good relationship with a female bartender, as opposed to awkwardness and bad tension.

To be clear, I am not saying a guy should take the AFC route, PRETENDING to be the girl’s friend while taking sketchy “peeks” at her hoping she won’t notice and get offended. I am saying it’s a good idea to treat the hottest woman in the club who is also the drug supplier for the whole room, with a certain level of respect. She is one of the top alpha dogs in the entire room and will always have men larger than you and in some cases, serious fighters, ready to defend her in a time of trouble.

What I mean is, just as you would never think of having a physical fight with a female bartender, don’t think of trying to tool her or fuck with her head or get one over on her, either. It won’t work and you’ll fuck up your game at that bar.

In other words, if you make her job easier, she’ll tend to make your job easier. This means you DON’T demand the attention, you do tip well for good service, but discretely, you don’t brag about yourself, you don’t let her tool you into making the guy she REALLY likes show if he is jealous of her or not. And when SHE wants to talk to you, you can engage with confidence and not take things too seriously… imagine drinking a beer and playing ball with your friends, versus pitching in the bottom of the ninth on the road in front of a hostile crowd. You want to be easy, fun and light, delighted to talk to her and not so worried if she doesn’t get back to you for an hour because she’s just that busy.

I think it’s important to note here that picking up a woman from her place of work actually requires different types of consideration than your average girl.  First of all, she’s AT WORK.  So you can’t expect to actually pull her from her place of work right away.  (Not saying it can’t happen, but it usually doesn’t.)  So your game should be going towards creating connection, and getting a “bridge” to a meeting outside of work – such as getting her phone number or facebook.

Secondly, you have to present yourself as someone OTHER than a customer.  If you’re at a bar, or a restaurant, or a nightclub, strip club, coffee shop, grocery store, WHATEVER — know that there is an “us vs. them” mentality when dealing with the women who work there.  You’re one of “them.”  You’re a “customer.”  Most women don’t like to date customers at their place of work.  So if you present yourself as someone other than a customer, then suddenly you stand out and it becomes okay to date you.

You can do this by presenting yourself as an INSIDER.  This is a great technique I’ve used to pick up strippers in strip clubs.  You come in, chat with the manager, chat with the DJ, the bouncers, get their names.  Then talk to the girl, act like you know those guys.  Talk about other strippers you’ve dated before, etc.  Suddenly, you’re not a customer, you’re a guy who knows about her world.

This can actually work in any venue – restaurant, bar, etc.  If you’re an “insider,” you can more easily bypass the “customer is hitting on me” frame most of these girls have.

Not to say ALL “hired guns” are against dating customers.  It’s just you have to realize most hired guns get hit on and flirted with a lot, so they have to put up those barriers to customers to do their jobs.  In the case of bartenders, they are happy to flirt with guys and lead them on because it usually means they get better tips.

Being a regular can also help you.  Because the more a hired gun is exposed to you, the more comfortable she’s going to be in meeting you.  But hanging around constantly is not a good idea.  Coming in regularly, touching base, firing up that connection, and leaving is usually how you should go about doing it, all building up to getting that all-important contact information.  Sure, if you really hit it off, you can ask her to meet you after work, but typically if you build up the rapport and start talking to her outside the workplace, via phone or internet, eventually you’re going to get the date if you’ve done everything right.

Getting Same Night Lays & One Night Stands…

August 18, 2010 by  
Filed under Tips & Tricks

IAmMaximus, over at the mASF boards, has a really good post up about how he goes about getting women to have sex with him the same night he meets them.

IAmMaximus writes:
After having tons of problems scoring club pulls over the first several years I was at this, I’ve actually managed to hook up with 5 over about the past 7 weeks (including 2 in one night). While I’m certainly no expert on them, here’s what I’ve learned that helps me score them:

1. Go out looking as good as you possibly can.

2. Be sociable/talk and flirt with everyone/play the numbers.

3. Be persistent, even if you’re blown out once or twice.

4. Have fun yourself and show her a good time

5. Flirt and then escalate nonverbally (EC, get close, caress hands–credit: 60)

6. Keep pulling her to go home with you. Don’t necessarily verbalize that you want to take her home for sex. Just focus on taking her home and tie it into whatever her state is. She wants to get something to eat? You’ll take her! She just wants to get out of there… no problem! Then, once you’ve got her away, the sex will “just happen.” Don’t be afraid to persist and keep asking.

7. When you’re taking her home, keep up the kino the whole way. Keep caressing hands. Put your hand on her thigh and finger her if she’s in your car or sitting next to you on the subway, etc.

8. Get her home and just keep kissing and making out (pay attention to kissing her neck!) while working on getting a finger into her pussy. If she’ll let you put a finger there, more will follow.

That’s it. Nothing complex about it. I don’t worry about DHV, negging, canned material, special openers, etc. I just open, have fun with her, escalate, and pull and pull until I take her home.

Now, I’m NOT a particularly attractive man, so don’t go bullshitting that this only works for me because I must be good looking. Truth be told, I’m fat, sort of hairy, and I have impressive manboobs. No girl with working eyes would ever drool over seeing me shirtless, yet several have been gladly fucking me in recent weeks. Physically, I’m maybe a 6. Dressed in my “field clothes,” I might become a 7.5 or an 8. I’ve been fucking girls who are 7s-8.5s by my scale. If I can do it, you can do it!

Oh… and one more thing… the most crucial…


I wish I’d known this years ago. I used to spend so much time trying to show a girl what a great, awesome, high value, caring guy I was. All that does is get her screening you as a potential boyfriend. THIS DRAMATICALLY COMPLICATES THE HOOKUP PROCESS AND WILL PROBABLY KEEP YOU FROM GETTING LAID!

Girls are the same as men in that they enjoy sex for sex’s sake. Maybe she just broke up with a longtime bf and wants to make sure she’s still attractive to other guys. Maybe she’s just horny and wants a quick fuck to soothe her aching vagina. Whatever.

I’ve noticed that the women I’ve been pulling for SNLs could give a fuck about me, my life, or my dreams for the future. They… just… don’t… care. If she’s going to fuck a guy within a couple hours of meeting him, she doesn’t want to worry about possible emotional entanglements.

Bringing those things into the situation just suggests that you’re going to be hounding her for a commitment. That’s going to cause her to view you in a completely different light. Does she like your personality enough to date you? Do you have enough common interests to make it work? What about your career, or your family, or your philosophies on life, etc.? What if she just plain does not want a boyfriend and is going through a whorish phase?

For a quick SNL, this is much simpler: Is she horny? Are you presenting yourself as a walking sex toy for the evening? OK, then! That’s all she needs to know.

If she does start asking the questions about your life, just answer truthfully and move on. Instead of dwelling on those mundane things, focus on having fun in the moment and on setting up opportunities to kino and either get rejected (and save yourself time) or hook up and get laid.

I want to make it clear that I’m not saying to be rude or run some cutesy pattern to disqualify yourself as bf material if she starts asking these things–IME, that’s suicide.

I’m just saying to be pleasant, be sincere, enjoy yourself, express your interest in her sexually, and create nonverbal opportunities to escalate that don’t feel forced. Hold the seductive EC. Get close and give yourself opportunities for kino. Caress her hand (60 is a GENIUS for pointing these simple tactics out).

There’s a time and place for relationships and boyfriend screening, of course. Personally, I value a good relationship far above any quick bar fling. But sometimes you just wanna get laid with some hot little girl at the club. This has been working for me to achieve that. I think it can help other guys, too.

Another thing to remember: you’re much, much, much more likely to be able to turn a SNL into a relationship after you’ve fucked a girl than to pass the annoying boyfriend screening process and get a lay of any kind, even after 2-3 days. The criteria for a no-strings fuck are just that much lower.

Bravo to fat-hairy-manboob PUAs who are taggin-n-baggin dem ladies!  A lot of IAmMaximus’s stuff isn’t complicated, its mostly an attitude based natural game style with a healthy dose of logistical mastery and physical escalation.  At the end of the day, the only thing that matters is if you’re getting what you want, right?  Well, it seems like IAmMaximus is getting plenty, so why can’t you?  :-)

Some Notes On How To Pick Up Strippers

March 2, 2010 by  
Filed under Tips & Tricks

Joker over on the PUAForums had this great post about how to pick up strippers…

Joker writes:
Strip clubs are one my favorite places to pick up women. Consider the logistics: you’re surrounded by gorgeous, scantily clad women. The alcohol is flowing, every element of the environment is designed for seduction — from the music, to the lighting — and every one of these hotties is eager to talk to YOU.

Of course, most guys who set foot inside strip clubs are content to be customers, forking over their cash for pointless lap dances and superficial conversations with women who view them as human ATM machines.

The pickup artist, however, views strip clubs as target-rich environments filled with sexy, available women. These are also great places to hone your skills and become comfortable flirting with 9’s and 10’s in “regular” settings.

Now, are strippers simply trying to separate you from the contents of your wallet? Of course they are-at first. It’s their job. But you can use tactics to flip the script, cause them to stop perceiving you as a customer, and make them play YOUR game instead of playing theirs.

Put the right tactics to work, and you can build connections, collect phone numbers, and set up dates that lead to sex — just as you would at a bar. Strippers aren’t the unattainable, unaffordable goddesses that most guys assume they are. They’re just women. It all comes down to knowing how to break through their facade, connect with them on a real level, and get them to feel genuine curiosity and attraction.

Here are ten of my tips for strip club success: Read more

Is Picking Up Chicks Against The Law In The UK?

August 18, 2008 by  
Filed under News

I found this interesting little story about a couple would-be pick up artists getting arrested by the police for approaching chicks over on the London Seduction Society message boards…

3 Puas arrested in Oxford St. saturday afternoon

Thats right….
I was just on my way to my spot where I like to do some game when I spot 3 dudes with the PUA uniform. I spotted them and went to lean against a wall to see them in action from a distance while I was making sure that they were in fact PUAs.

I see one of them do a 3 set aproach and eject in 3 seconds, so I had some doubts.
Then, another one of them crosses the street to speak to this blonde lone wolf and after him goes a cop.

In matter of seconds, the cop arrests the guy that now just looks completely shock and disbelief and I think that he actually handcufs the guy. A second PUA crosses the street to see whats going on and gets arrested as well… So the third PUA just goes in and the party begins:

3 random dudes are arrested and searched in a corner of Oxford St. by one uniformed cop and 2 other civilian-dressed. I wanted to help, but I was risking exactly the same as the other 2 dudes and besides, I dont even know them, so I better mind my own business.

So I move on to my spot, open a lone wolf…. takes me 30 minutes to get her number and I walk back Oxf. St. again… AND THEY’RE STILL THERE!!!

Seriously… if you’re reading this and you’re the dudes, please just tell us what the hell just happened… Is it because you were opening too many sets on cctv?


And here’s the response from one of the guys who got arrested… Read more

Video: Thundercat Vs. 2 Hot Guys

August 8, 2008 by  
Filed under Video

Hey guys,

This week I have a very interesting video to share with you, but before I do, I want to give you a bit of background…

I got my friend Erica to invite a number of girls to come by my place one hot summer’s day.  None of them knew why they were going to be there, they were just doing it as a favor for my friend.

So I had NEVER met these girls before.  They didn’t know me.  I didn’t know them.

I had two guys I knew show up as well.  Their names are Theo and Zack.  Here’s a little bit about them:


Theo is a personal trainer here in Hollywood.  He’s extremely muscular and fit, and every girl who sees him is instantly turned on by his looks.

When you compare Theo’s chizzled body to my rotund Kung-Fu Panda-esque body, there’s simply no doubt about it – I’m the loser!


Zack is a big party guy.  He goes out to the clubs 5-6 nights a week (no kidding!).  By his own admission, he finds hooking up with girls “easy.”

Zack is a very good looking guy, with a head of hair I’d kill for.  Me, I’m not the club going type anymore.  So when it comes to social pick-up skills, Zack should have me beat.

The Shoot

The way things worked is that Erica would bring the girls out one at a time, and they each met with Theo, Zack, and myself.

After each meeting, my friend Ryan would interview the girls about their experience while my friend Steve video taped the interview.

I want to re-itterate:  NONE of the girls really knew what was going on!

And trust me – this was NOT a professional production!  It was just my friends with a video camera.  No make up artists, special effects, or any of that stuff.  I’m sure you’ll be able to tell from the quality of the video, this was really HOME MADE!

My friend Ryan, who interviewed each of the girls, was absolutely SHOCKED by their responses.

In each instance, I came of just as attractive, and in most cases – even MORE attractive – than the good looking guys!

You can see the whole video for yourself here:

Thundercat Vs. 2 Better Looking Guys

You’ll actually get to see the girl’s honest reactions to me and the other guys for yourself,

Let me know what you guys think in this thread.


P.S.  Some of you haters might be inclined to think that this video was somehow “staged.”  I can assure you, that is not the case.

None of the girls were coached on what to say.  All their reactions stem from the conversations they had with me and the two other guys.

You can tell, just by watching the way they answer the questions, they’re NOT reading from a script.

It was very important to me that we capture the REAL REACTIONS of these women, so I can prove to all of you how effective personality is when it comes to generating attraction.

At the end of the day, I know there are some guys out there bitter and shallow-minded enough to still think I “faked” this shoot.  But that’s okay.  Those are the guys who’ll never succeed with girls.

I’ll leave it to you to decide if what you see is real or not.

Go check out the video here:

Click Here For The Video

The Pick Up Artist On VH1 – A Review

August 7, 2007 by  
Filed under Rants & Reviews

So hopefully everyone caught the premier of VH1′s new series, "The Pickup Artist," starring our beloved Mystery, along with his wingmen Matador and J-Dog.

Before the show came on, I was really excited.  I was hoping this was going to be Mystery’s big break.  After all, the potential for this type of show is massive, and something like it has been talked about and fantasized within the community for years.

Unfortunately, I don’t think this will be the show everyone hoped it would be.

Read on…

Read more

Where Does Confidence Come From?

June 11, 2007 by  
Filed under Rants & Reviews

Here’s a recent message I got from a MySpace user…

Wow well i must congratulate u on making one of the best books of our time, lol

Ive read it all and its the greatest stuff..i know enough praising.. only thing is i find it really hard to approach women, i mean i don’t see the problem when i think about it when its quiet, but as soon as i’m at a bar/club its like my feet are in cement n all the things i remembered just leave my head

I know i can only overcome this by going out there and just doing it but i don’t know why i can’t, lol, just wondering how u managed to and where the confidence comes from.

Any comments would be greatly appreciated

Well, I try to cover this as much as possible in The Art Of Approaching (the book this guy is talking about), but I guess I’ll go into it a bit more in-depth here because this seems to be a large topic of interest for a number of guys.

I always hear people lament "Wow, meeting women is so hard!"  And you know what?  It can be.  There seems to be a myth out there that Approach Anxiety can be "stomped out" forever.  But in my experience, that just isn’t the case.

I know a lot of big time pick-up artists – guys who go out every night and always pull girls – who still suffer from approach anxiety.  I know there are times when I, myself, still do, and I’ve been doing this for a LONG time!

I think the notion that a guy can "always be confident" is an unrealistic expectation to hold oneself to.  Approach Anxiety will always be there in some form or another, because successfully meeting women has a lot to do with your MINDSET.

So then the question becomes:  Is it simply a matter of feeling the fear and doing it anyway?

Well, yes and no.

Read more

Dance Floor Game

April 10, 2007 by  
Filed under Tips & Tricks

If you’re a club-goer, you’ll know that having "dance floor game" is pretty essential to picking up chicks.  After all, in a club where the music is thumping so loud you can’t hear anything else, knowing how to dance is freakin’ essential.

Some guy who goes by the nick Bandit, who by his own admission was a "semi-professional" dancer, made a little video on dance floor game for you to check out.

Now, if you’re a big lump like me, you don’t need to to bust moves like Bandit.  I find that just getting on the dance floor and having the balls to shake your thang with any random girl will usually be enough to get your game on.  But Bandit gives some good moves in his video, so if you want to practice that, you should be in good shape.

Of course, you could try killing two birds with one stone and taking a dance CLASS, so not only do you learn how to dance, but you’re able to meet some women in the process.  =)

My Secret Identity — The Dichotomy of a PUA

February 4, 2004 by  
Filed under Rants & Reviews

**Reposted from the first Lair, original date: 12/24/03

Growing up, I used to collect comic books.  I was pretty hard core about it too.  I started when I lived in Germany and it was the only American thing my family had available for kids, and its a trend I continued until high school.  I eventually stopped because I was spending upwards of $200 a week on comic books.  Seriously, I was addicted.  All the money I had went to owning that shit.  My parents had to orchestrate an intervention to break me of this habit.  I probably have a good $3,000 worth of comics packed away in our basement somewhere.

The funny thing is, the heroes in those comics always had a secret identity.  You could break it down to who they really were, and their super-hero persona.  In fact, many stories often dealt with how these heroes would cope with their secret identities and who, in fact, they really were.  I find it a very similar parallel to where I currently am in my life and my development as a Pick-Up Artist.

There are situations I’ve been in since I’ve been home where I’ve found myself wanting to sarge a girl, but in a way I feel like I either can’t or shouldn’t do it because I’m with my family.  The problem with family is that much of the time, they will not understand why you are doing what you are doing.  At least for me, who comes from a fairly conservative, catholic family, my parents would at the very least be puzzled and at the very worst, shocked, at what I was up to most of the time.  Not only that, but my younger brothers (who’ve never had the problems getting women that I’ve had to face) would be very judgmental about it.  In a way, if I revealed to them this aspect of my life, I’d be putting myself at a disadvantage because I’d be opening myself up to judgment by my family.

Obviously, what they think of me doesn’t really matter.  However, it would affect the interactions I’d have with them in the future, especially if they think I’m not very good at this whole “pick-up” thing.  The best time to reveal this aspect of my life would obviously be with a beautiful fiancee on my arm, but I don’t expect that to happen for a very loooooong time, if ever.

So up to that point, I’m stuck living a double life when it comes to my family and AFC friends.  This community is a saving grace in a way, because I now have a network of guys who I can not only talk about this stuff with, but also who understand where I am coming from.  Its a valuable asset, and one I’m quite grateful for.

I know a lot of guys like Papa and Swinggcat are very open with their families about what they do, but I just don’t feel comfortable telling my mom that I’ve devoted a great deal of my life to learning how to get laid by any girl I want, including 3-somes and strippers and any other variety of girl.  She’d have a fit.  This is the same woman who forbade me to date until I was 16.  Can you imagine letting it slip that I’ve frolicked through Vegas with a group of strippers trying to score some drugs so we could party down in my hotel room?  Yikes.

I’m interested in how people handle this.  I know that if you’re congruent with it, it doesn’t matter, but there’s still that nagging reservation about revealing my secret identity to others.  Its a rather sticky wicket, if you ask me.

Until that time, I guess I’ll just stay locked in the nearest phone booth.


Feminator Returns

February 4, 2004 by  
Filed under Drama & Rumors

**Reposted from the first Lair, original date: 12/22/03

We all have our favorite loonies that post on mASF.  I know Tyler is fond of one dude in particular, and Stevie PUA has his personal fav.  Mine is FEMINATOR.  His massive need for qualification and aspirations for guru-hood in a community that accounts for less than 0.0000000001% of the population is nothing short of entertaining.  Recently, he took a bit of a powder after his last $$$$$$ post broke the camel’s back and caused a number of flames pointed his way (I mean honestly, the signal to noise ratio was just too high).  Anyway, his absence was noticed, leading to posts such as this one by zane:

Topic: Where did FERMINATOR go? (1 of 1), Read 131 times
Conf: >> General
From: zane
Date: Monday, December 22, 2003 12:25 PM

WTF happened to all that MONEY shit from Ferminator???

IS he still ,alive??

But apparently, he spoke too soon, because FEMINATOR is back, with a vengeance.  Here’s his latest $$$$$$$ post for your enjoyment:

Topic: FEMINATOR IS BACK! MALL’S ARE MONEY (1 of 13), Read 417 times
Conf: >> General
From: feminator
Date: Sunday, December 21, 2003 05:45 PM

After clubbing a lot for many years i realized, that clubs are not a good place for meeting top quality women, because they have always the whole defense up.

-Bitch shields (because they expect it)
-Anti slut defense (because of other people, they know)
-Girlfriends (girlscode, drag away)

Other important facts are …

-Bad chick ratio
-Not every chick goes to the clubs.
-Too many man
-Drugs, alcohol etc.
-Drinks and clubs are not cheap
-Loud music
-At fuck close time, it’s often already 4-6 AM
-Chicks are sometimes also tired in clubs and therefore you can’t game them, especially on Friday.

I also realized, that in clubs are not a lot of possibilities to do interesting things, except sarging.

For somebody, who doesn’t drink, smoke, take drugs or dance, the clubs are a boring place…

Sarging remains the only reason for going to clubs…

Of course it’s possible to game them in clubs, but i found a far better place to find much more and better chicks.

**********The shopping malls are $$$**********************

-Good chick ratio. Every chick goes to the malls…

-Chicks are often isolated in shopping malls, therefore no bitch shields or ASD.

-Chicks are not tired and easier to game

-Fuck close time is normally after 8 PM, when the malls close here in Zurich, instead of 4 – 6 AM, so i have more time for good sex.

-Often no negative girlscode.

-Very likely no BF or AMOGS.

-Good insta date possibilities like …
… Shopping together

Then when the malls close at 8 PM …
… Cinema is at 8.30 PM
… After work parties from 7 PM
… Lunch or dinner

My latest opener …

… I prepared a paper bag in a way, i can open the bottom and everything falls on the floor. Haha, they always help me to collect all the things.

… I also prepared a suitcase in the same way. I often put pictures of my hottest GF. When they help me collecting the picture, i tell them the story about my Ex-Girlfriend, who went to London for modelling … Hahah, they always help me to collect the pictures.

… I also create instant accident with cans, clothes etc.
For example I prepare a can tower in a way, that all the cans fall on the floor, when the HB passes. Then she feels guilty. Of course i help her then. (Not field tested)

I create a small accident with some cans and boxes. They always help me to collect the cans. (Field tested)

Then i tell them:”Do you believe in the destiny?”
HB:”Bla bla.”
FEM:”If you look back in 2 years to this day, you will realize, that just of a couple of cans, you whole live changed. My name is Feminator from ASF ;-)

I do a lot of opinion opener …

“Hey HB (‘s) i need a quick female opinion ….

It opens always. Often i add, that the saleswomen are bad girls, because they lie… Then i tell them a funny story about a really bad saleswomen. Or i ask them, if they are a saleswomen. If they say no, i say:”Very good, because i need a neutral female opinion…”

Or can you help me opener …

“Hey HB i need your help …”

“Do you know, where …”

On the shopping mall insta date, i have always a lot of fun. For example, we check out new clothes together. Then venue change to another mall (Foot in the door principle, are you adventurous enough, then cinema or bar)

In busy times i sarge the customers. In quiet times i sarge the saleswomen, which i use also next time, when it’s busy for social proof.

PS: WHEN WILL BE THE RELEASE OF TFM 2.0 ???????????????? I heard in an old post from PORNHANDLE 25.12.03.

If you want to read the whole thread, it can be found at:,8

The thing I find funny about the above post that poor old FEM doesn’t seem to get — in fact, a lot of people don’t seem to get this — is that you should not be going out in the world with the specific intent to “Pick-Up.”  That’s lame.  That’s one of the reasons I laugh at SS nowadays.  Who wants to go to a coffee shop/grocery store/yoga class or whatever just to meet women?  I find that incredibly stupid.

If I’m going to a coffee shop, its to get coffee.  If I go to a grocery store, its to get groceries.  If I’m going to a yoga class (which I would never do) its to learn yoga.  And if I go to a mall, its to shop.  Any sarging to be done is strictly Targets of Opportunities.  As far as bars/clubs go, I do not SPECIFICALLY go out to bars and clubs to sarge.  I go there to have fun, and to me, part of the fun is trying to pick-up chicks — being social.

This realization came upon me when I was in Chicago and got to see Zan, Craig, and Maddash out on the town.  These guys did not go to these bars to “sarge” or “pick-up.”  They went out there to hang out together, get drunk, and have fun.  The by-product of that was picking-up on chicks.  When I have gone out and just been social, (i.e. drinking, dancing, talking, laughing, ball-busting — what have you) I have been SO MUCH MORE successful than going out with the SPECIFIC intent to sarge.

That’s something guys who are new at this don’t quite have an understanding of yet.  A lot of this comes from “inner game.”  It’s that bit about being “desire-less.”  Not wanting what you really want.  Its fucked-up, yes, but in a way its necessary to feel that way if you want to get REALLY good at it.  Its almost like saying “Just be yourself.”  The trick is, you have to first BECOME the kind of person who naturally does this, and THAT is the hard part.  That is what no in-field workshop or phone consultation or hypnosis will teach you.

I’ve spent 4 years working on my inner game, and I’m just now feeling that its at the point where I’m actually starting to change.  4 YEARS, fellas.  I’ve had to wade through a lot of deep psychological shit to get to where I am now.  We’re talking things that would have made Freud ditch coke for heroine, its so fucked-up.  But it all works out.

I’ll probably talk about this more in an article I plan on writing on Inner Game.  The more people I meet who are genuinely good at this, the more I realize it has to do with inner game and where you’re coming from.  So many people just want the next new “trick” or “method” or whatever.  Look at this Feminator guy for crying out loud.  He’s all about the gimmicks, the tricks, the routines, etc.  What he fails to understand is that all that stuff springs forth from your inner self.  I’ve seen some guys who have TONS of shit memorized, and they can do a pick-up quite well, but when it comes to Day 2, or Day 3, or even RELATIONSHIPS, they lose the chick, because they run out of material.  They don’t have their inner game congruent with their outter game.

Enough rambling.  I’ll post my inner game article here when I get done with it.


PS:  Just remembered, I should probably thank Swinggcat for a lot of this.  He’s very much into the whole “inner game” thing and it has been the subject of many conversations I’ve had with him.  In fact, it probably wouldn’t be on my mind as much if it wasn’t for him, even though I’ve been very much into it since my return from Las Vegas.  Maybe he’ll do something on it in an upcoming newsletter which will blow anything I write on it out of the water.  =)

FR: An Airport Pick-Up

February 4, 2004 by  
Filed under Field Report

**Reposted from the first Lair, original date: 12/20/03
**Image removed

Okay, now that I’ve got the airport rant off my chest, its time to get to the good stuff. The stuff that most of you reading this are probably here for in the first place.

Its a been a while since I’ve posted a Field Report, and there is a good reason for that. Since late October, my health has been fucked. At first I had a sinus cold, and that mutated into the Flu. So I missed a bunch of work, and on top of that, my stupid ass goes to Vegas for Thanksgiving weekend and ends up spending a shitload of money partaking in every debauchery known to man and a good 6 of the 7 deadly sins, which means to top things off, I’m quite broke. All this leads to many a lonely night at home alone trying to kill the pain with nyquil while masturbating to internet porn.

Well, I’m happy to say my health is improving. The flu I got is almost all gone (still cough a bit) and I’ve been able to get enough money this month to make rent, but not much more than that. So I haven’t been able to go out much because my health/wealth game has been in the proverbial shitter for almost two months now.

Which brings me to yesterday. Yesterday, I was at the airport, and its been my experience that an airport is an EXCELLENT place to sarge. I’ve been able to # close a great many hot chicks at airports. Of course, lots of them don’t lead anywhere for various reasons, but for the most part, while girls are traveling, they are usually more adventurous because they are in a place where they aren’t going to be socially judged by people they know for their actions. Not only that, but the boredom of airport life is so great, that most people are looking for any distraction to pass the time. In fact, some of my easiest walk-ups ever have been in airports.

That said, I don’t go to airports looking to PU. I go there to travel. PU is just a nice side-effect of doing so. I don’t want to hear stories about guys going to the airport on Friday night to pick-up chicks, kapeesh?

Anyway, there I am, talking to soldier dude, when this girl comes walking by. She’s a tiny thing, very petite body, small breasts, and tight ass — just the way I like ‘em. She’s cute, but not drop-dead gorgeous. She’d probably rate a 7 on the looks scale, but on the 1-0 scale (1 being “good enough” and 0 being “not good enough”) I’d have to say she’s definitely “good enough.” That’s her pic on the top of the page to give you an idea of what she looks like.

But she’s lugging around this huge, zebra striped backpack that’s broken up with black screens. Upon closer inspection, I can see she’s got a little puppydog in there that she’s traveling with. Now, I’m a sucker for dogs, so I can’t help staring at it. She notices me doing so, and I open her with:

“What do you do if the dog has to take a shit?”

How’s that for masterful? Eat your heart out Style. Anyway, she laughs and says the dog went before they came, and he’s also doped up on doggie-valum, so he’ll be quiet during the trip. Now, I find the very idea of valume for dogs fascinating, so I start talking to her about other animals she may have doped up. She laughs and we have a good conversation. I keep disinterested because in all honesty, I was more interested in the dog than the girl (not in that respect you pervs!).

So I get on the plane and settle in, and who should sit down next to me? Bitch girl — er, I mean, girl with the dog. She says “It looks like you can’t escape us.” I tell her it must either be karma or she’s stalking me. She laughs and settles her dog in under her seat before sitting down.

Right away she makes herself comfortable by taking off her shoes and putting her legs on the seat. I tell her its gonna be a long flight with her stinky feet in my face. She laughs. then we talk about her dog until take-off. The dog is named Copenhagen after the town in Germany for some reason, but she calls him “Koop.” He’s a mixed breed mutt she rescued from a homeless lady and has since become her child. She says they are very co-dependent on each other and it shows in the way she dotes over this animal. I find it a bit endearing, but its also a huge sign of insecurity, so I start testing the waters a bit.

It turns out she’s an actress, and has actually been on a few shows I’ve seen. The latest was The Brotherhood of Poland New Hampshire. So we talk about acting and shit for a bit. I love the fact that she’s an actress, because it means she’s a validation whore (and REALLY insecure), so I can be pretty evil with her and get away with it. In fact, I tell her “Wow, you’re really insecure. I’m gonna have a lot of fun with you.”

She plays along. I just keep being really cocky. I accuse her of being a primadonna. I tell her shit like she makes J-Lo look like Mother Theresa with her unreasonable demands. She starts trying to fight back with lame lines like “Oh, yeah. And you’re so cool.” To which I reply “Thanks for noticing.”

At the same time I’m doing this, I’m also validating her by doing little shit, like sharing my gummy-fish I picked up at the airport with her when she says she’s hungry. I also give her some of my nasty airline food. She acted like it was a big deal that I was giving up part of my meal for her, but I just couldn’t stomach the nasty shit, so the situation was win-win.

Anyway, this goes on for 5 hours with me teasing the shit out of her. We end up sleeping together on the flight (not sexing it up, mind you. We slept and we were next to each other). I babysit her dog when she goes to the bathroom, so she’s all impressed when she comes back and finds me caring for it. I tell her she sleeps like her dog and I thought I was taking care of her. But the coup-de-grace was when a baby across the isle from us shit its pants and I blamed the smell on her. Priceless.

So the plane lands and I’m helping her to strap this dog on her shoulders. Its funny, because at 6’1, I tower over this itty-bitty girl. We start walking together to the gate, and I say we should hang out when we both get back to LA. She says she’d love to and gives me her number before we split up and greet our prospective family members.

So that’s it. A solid number close. Nothing special, but still, it was fun and the girl was easy to talk to and cute. At the very least, I’ve expanded my social circle and made a cool new friend. At best, I get a fuck buddy out of it. Regardless, I enjoyed her company a great deal and look forward to hanging out with her again.

And that’s why they call me…