Troubles Being Social – For Beginners

August 10, 2010 by  
Filed under Analysis

Naistehirm, over on mASF, has a pretty gut-wrenching post about his troubles being a social guy…

Naistehirm writes:

okay, I have a problem that I have no idea how to get over, I think I have tried several different methods, but none does the work for me.

Anyway, my prob is that most of the time I’m way too dull and not very talkative. I feel like I have never something to say and my mind seems to be pretty empty all the times, or full of crap like I’m thinking why do I not have anything to say.

I party a lot, but most of the time only cause I force myself to go to parties and be social, but that’s not good since in those cases I absolutely don’t enjoy myself.

Especially when I’m sober I have no clue what to talk about. Normally I am in social circles so my chances of getting girls are by social circle, but I have problems attracting girls when I have no idea what to tell them/or what to speak about, nothing comes to my mind, not even any random shit. Sometimes I’m able to hold conversation for few mins, but out of there it just gets dull and I make an excuse to get out of conversation or sometimes I just ignore people cause I don’t have a clue how to answer their questions or whatever. It’s not that I overthink my answers, it’s just that I feel there’s nothing to say. And this makes me feel very uncomfortable in social situations.

And I go out pretty much every day and I haven’t gotten any better. I haven’t got laid for 1.5 years (and I have really got laid for just once, and it wasn’t very enjoyable, was drunk and didn’t get the girl wet so it wasn’t cool at all).
And cause of me not getting girls and all my friends being succesful it hits my self esteem pretty bad, although it’s not that bad, cause I’m still thinking kind of realistically, and my looks aren’t bad either, so all I’m worried about is that I have nothing to say.

I only feel comfortable in social situations when I have had few beers, but then it lasts for just a while and sometimes it just makes me depressed so I can’t just focus on alcohol, and it would be a lot better if I was able to stay social even when I was sober.

Approaching girls is not a big problem for me, out of my friends I think I seem to be more couraegous about this part, but whenever I approach I can only hold conversation for a little while and then I start feeling uncomfortable cause I can’t move things anywhere.

Most of the discussion my friends do is cocky/funny type of, which seems to work on girls very well, but I rarely manage to do that, and even when I’m able to, then I have been silent for a way too long time and then it can come out either lame or mean or whatever.

Seeing my friends being succesful and me not getting any at all, makes me pretty depressed at times and I really want to get over it, cause atm I feel like I’m never going to get girls or even a relationship.

I feel pretty uncomfortable on 1 on 1 situations too, especially when with girls, because I feel like I’m forced to say something but nothing comes to my mind, not even any random stuff. I only feel comfortable with my guy friends cause then I don’t have to talk so much, so it doesn’t affect anything. But yeah, maybe someone can show me the right direction, what to do or whatever…

Thank you.

Here’s the thing about being social… Read more

Easy Ways To Talk To Women

February 19, 2010 by  
Filed under Tips & Tricks

DrWho over at mASF has a problem keeping conversations going with women.

DrWho writes:

Hi everyone,

for quite some time my largest problems is to be keeping conversations going and interesting. I could improve things a little by memorizing canned material and regularly surfing the internet for cool, fun stuff to talk about. I know about the typical topics girls like to talk about (psychology, esoterica, relationships, celebrities, emotionally stimulating stuff, etc.) and try to specifically look for the right stuff. I am able to show the right emotional state to make girls talkative (relaxed, playfully funny, energetic). Still most of the time a don’t have a fucking idea what to say – and the chick also not.

When I open a chick or get opened by one (yes, it happens to me every half a year or so), after a few sentences the conversation stalls because nothing comes to my mind. If I hang out with a girl quickly we start talking about the weather or just walk along in silence.

Previously I believed it is mostly a mind blank due to panic, but watching it for some time I notice I also don’t know what to say to people when I’m relaxed and nothing is at stake. I guess I’m not very creative and I think creativity is something very hard to learn. So I’m stuck.

I’m wondering if there is some more systematic way to find conversation topics than ‘just say what comes to your mind first’. I like ideas like the routine to watch the people around you looking for something to talk about to your target (still this one doesn’t work well most of the time because I rarely find interesting things to mention). Someone knows of a structured method of coming up with a conversation topic or a good book on the topic?

I hope I don’t get shot down because I emphasize that I want something systematic. I think this is reasonable because being creative in a structured way is much easier than doing it completely free. If someone is interested the article below should bring this point across.

I can definitely sympathize with DrWho here. Having a hard time carrying on conversations is a pretty common problem and I used to suffer from the same thing. After all, conversation is WORK.  It requires mental engagement and interest in what you’re talking about.

In my course Pure Personality, I teach a method that I call “conversational ninjitsu” that allows you to carry on conversations effortlessly by following a few easy steps. Once you get the hang of it, it can be quite effective.

But barring buying a full course or memorizing a bunch of canned material, the method I’ve found most effective in talking and carrying on conversation is a very simple “fish and hook” method.

Basically, you can think of it like “Question and Answer time.”

Just ask someone questions until you find something you can relate to, and then share a story of your own that relates to the answer.

So for example, you could have an exchange like:

You: “Where are you from?”
Them: “Chicago.”
You: “Really? I’ve always wanted to go to Chicago and visit the Sears Tower. Have you ever been there?”
Them: “Oh yeah, it’s great!”
You: “Cool. If you could visit any location on Earth, where would you want to go?”

etc., etc.

It’s not rocket science, but it is effective.

Pure Personality

August 30, 2008 by  
Filed under News

Hey guys,

Pure Personality is now officially live!  This is what you’d call my “attraction” course, I guess, since it is all about how to be more attractive to women – no matter what you look like.

Check it out here:

The feedback I’ve been getting from the course so far has been great!  And you can still view some of my old videos on the site.

Pure Personality Is Released TOMORROW!

August 29, 2008 by  
Filed under News

Hey guys,

Just a quick note to you – for the last two months I’ve been releasing lots of audio and video stuff about my Pure Personality course.

If you have missed ANY of them, now is the time to check them out, because I’ll be taking them down tomorrow when the course is released at 9:00 am Pacific, 12:00 pm Eastern time.

Just go to:

You can find them all there.

I’d really encourage you guys to check out the course.  It has helped my game tremendously, and I know it will probably seriously help anyone else’s game as well.

We have a lot of heavy hitters involved in the course, including – AFC Adam, Brad P, and Barry Kirkey.

We also have a lot of NON-community people involved as well.

In fact, let me give you a run down of what is in the course…

The Videos

This is the first course I’ve ever made that actually utilizes a lot of video, so I wanted to be sure that the videos KICKED ASS.

The videos should be very easy for you guys to follow, and have a LOT of information in each one.

Video 1:  The Addiction Method Part 1

The addiction method is the foundation for the Pure Personality course, and in this video, I explain the first part of the method on how to get people addicted to your Personality.

In this video, I go into great detail on how to “create your character” and cultivate a “social mask.”

The cool thing about this method is that you aren’t “acting” or trying to be someone you’re not.

This is all about taking the best qualities of you who are NATURALLY and bringing them to the forefront in a way where as many people get exposed to it as possible.

Video 2:  The Addiction Method Part 2

The second part of the Addiction Method is all about teaching you how to tell STORIES.

See, storytelling is the method by which people learn about your character!  And the better stories you tell, the more addicted people will become to who you are.

In fact – they will actively seek to have you around as much as possible!

And better than that, they’ll start telling their FRIENDS about you and repeating your stories to others, effectively growing you reputation.

Can you see how powerful this can be when it comes to attracting women?

Video 3:  How To Be The Life Of The Party

This technique goes hand-in-hand with the addiction method.

I have developed a system where you can enter into any social situation – a bar, club, party, business meeting, whatever – and instantly be the center of attention.

Here, we’ll use the Butterfly Effect to meet lots and lots of people, but we’ll also use some covert tactics to build our reputation and help us deliver the Addiction Method techniques.

Video 4:  Conversational Ninjitsu

A HUGE part of personality is being able to hold fascinating conversations with anyone you want.

Too often, guys stumble in conversation with women.  Things might go good for a while, but then the dreaded “awkward silence” sets in and you run out of things to say.

Conversational Ninjitsu is a covert method of keeping the conversation going, effectively eliminating awkward silences and making all conversation seem natural and effortless.

Video 5:  How To Be Funny

A big part of having a great personality is about how to make people laugh.  In this in-depth video, I go into a number of proven techniques to help make even the dullest guy FUNNY.

This isn’t just some collection of lame jokes.  I actually break down many different TYPES of humor and show you how to use them to get laughs from pretty much anyone.

More importantly, though, I’ll show you what to do when a joke goes BAD, and how to quickly recover from anything that “falls flat.”

Video 6:  How To Tease

Teasing women can be a powerful tool in your attraction arsenal.  Unfortunately, lots of guys tease women the WRONG WAY, and can come off as “jerks” or offensive.

In this video, I lay out a number of different proven and effective teasing techniques you can
use to get powerful reactions from women every single time.

Anyone who’s ever tried to use “Cocky and Funny” methods to pick up women before MUST see this video!

Video 7:  An Interview With Brad P.

Brad P is one of the most interesting guys I’ve ever met, and in this 60 minute video, I sit down with Brad and pick his brain about all his best personality techniques.

Brand and I are good friends, so we talk about some really killer information in this video, and you get to see a different perspective on the whole “Personality Game.”

Bonus Videos:  Non-Verbal Personality

Personality isn’t just based around what you say, it’s also based around what you do and how you act.

In a special bonus video section, I go into detail on how you can use your body language to communicate personality.

This is really powerful stuff that can show anyone what a cool, funny, fun guy you are without ever having to open your mouth!

The Audios

In addition to the video material, I tracked down and interviewed a number of Personality Experts who reveal their best tips and techniques for how to be funny, interesting, and cool around girls.

Audio #1:  Interview With Adam Lyons

Adam is one of the most naturally gifted new pick-up instructors in the scene.  His skills are almost completely based on his personality, and in this interview, I peg him down and get him to reveal all his secrets on how a scrawny geek like him uses his personality to hook up with super-model quality women night after night.

Audio #2:  Interview With Barry Kirkey

Some of you might know Barry as “Extramask” from Neil Strauss’s book The Game.  Barry is a talented comedian living in Canada, and he’s also quite knowledgeable about the dating scene, having been an instructor in the men’s dating advice field for some time.

In this candid interview, I get Barry to open up about his off-the-wall humor methods, and how you can use them to get women attracted to you in no time flat.

Audio #3:  Interview With Joe Falzerano

Joe Falzerano is a professional comedian who teaches other comedians how to perform stand-up comedy.  Joe’s workshop is based out of Los Angeles, and he’s taught some very recognizable names in the entertainment field how to be funny.  And in this interview, Joe goes over his teaching methods that can take any man, and make him a funny guy.

Audio #4:  Interview With Mike Piantedosi

This was a bit of a strage interview, because Mike is one of my Best Friends from High School, and he is one of the funniest guys I have ever met.

Like me, Mike is a self-admitted “Fat, Bald, And Ugly” dude.  But his personality is so strong, that he is able to attract insanely hot girls whenever he wants.

Mike’s story is truly inspiring, and his methods are incredibly effective.

Audio #5:  Interview With Richard Miller

Richard is one of David DeAngelo’s top students, and the “king” of cocky comedy methods.  Richard is another “fat guy” who uses his humor and personality to attract women, and he’s EXTREMELY good at it!

In this interview, I sit down and get Richard to share all his personality techniques with me, including a few unknown tricks taught to him by David DeAngelo himself!

Audio #6:  Interview With Steve Roye

Steve is a professional stand-up comedian, and a teacher in the field of comedy.  In this interview, I get Steve to open up and share how he creates his material from scratch, and how anyone can create incredible jokes and stories that will captivate any audience.

Audio #7:  Interview With Tony Piccasso

Also known as the “Cardfather,” Tony is a Las Vegas Magician who enraptures any audience he has.  I ran into Tony at the Magic Castle here in Hollywood and was so impressed, I had to BEG him to let me interview him!

In this interview, Tony reveals how he cultivates his persona, creates an unforgettable character, and entertains his audience.

This is one of the most unique interviews you’ll ever hear, as Tony reveals an amazing step-by-step system he uses to create “instant fame” no matter where he goes.

If you’ve ever wanted to know how to create a rockstar like persona, this is the interview that reveals how!

The Text

In addition to all the multimedia, we also have some good, old fashioned text to go along with it!

Included in the course is a full Charm School manual that will teach you how to charm any woman you meet.

In addition to that, I’ve also created a number of assignments to help you learn how to use the techniques described in the course.

This method is specifically DESIGNED to help you start naturally attracting women based on your personality.

I also have some great bonuses lined up for the first 100 people who get the course, not the least of which is my “Live Training Sessions” where we get you on the phone with a girl to practice your personality skills and get feedback.

Trust me when I say – NO OTHER course out there goes as in-depth into the subject of “natural attraction” as Pure Personality does.

So don’t miss out, and be sure to reserve your copy of the course when it’s released on Saturday, August 30th, at 9:00 am Pacific time and 12:00 pm Eastern time.

Remember – you’ll get INSTANT ACCESS to the whole course right after you sign up!  No waiting for it to arrive in the mail.  You can start learning the techniques immediately.

But you’ll also get a PHYSICAL copy of the course if you stay past the 56 day refund period.

The link to sign up for your course will be:

So don’t forget it!

Now let the anti-capitalism comments begin…

The BootyCast Episode 6 – Who’s Got Personality?

August 29, 2008 by  
Filed under Podcasts

Hey guys,

Sorry today’s episode is so late.  I had a number of technical difficulties that caused me to waste a lot of time trying to get it uploaded to the server.

This week’s BootCast episode comes in at a brisk 1:51:34.  In this week’s episode, we talk about:

  • Ross Jeffries Devil Worship
  • PUA Business Stuff
  • Gunwitch Thinks I’m Mad At Him
  • The CEO Of Stylelife Is A Douche
  • Using Personality To Attract Women
  • Tyler Stepping Down As RSD Figurehead

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

Click Here To Download The MP3

Please leave your comments about the show on the blog.  (Yes, we do read your comments!)

Free Q & A Call Audio

August 27, 2008 by  
Filed under Interview, News, Podcasts

Hey guys,

Last week I invited you all to attend a special Question and Answer call where I basically said you guys could ask me anything you wanted.

The good news is the call was PACKED, and we had a lot of great questions from those who chose to participate.

The call lasted around 90 minutes, and we did Q & A for probably 80 of those minutes.

If you want to listen to the audio of the call, you can do so through the player below:

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

Or you can download the audio directly from this page.

Please let me know wha tyou thought of the call by leaving your comments in this post.

Video: What Girls Think About Looks Vs. Personality

August 22, 2008 by  
Filed under Video

Hey guys,

Today I am really excited to share this new video with you.


Because all my buddies I let “sneak a peek” at this video have told me how incredible it is, so I’m excited to hear your feedback on it.

After the “case study” where I went head-to-head with the two good looking guys, I corralled all the women into my apartment and revealed to them what it was we were REALLY doing there.

Needless to say, they were all shocked!

But ask I began to share with them the methods I used on them, a funny thing happened…

They actually began to get EXCITED about these personality techniques!

As you’ll see for yourself in the video, the girls are completely floored by some of the techniques.

Just go here now to check it out:

Click Here For The “What Women Think” Video

I’m sure you’ll be amazed at the kind of responses we get from the women.  (I know I was!)

P.S.  The video is kind-of long, running at about 60 minutes in length, so give it some time to load if it’s slow loading.  Trust me, its worth the wait!

VIDEO: How To Meet 100 Women In One Night…

August 15, 2008 by  
Filed under Video

Hey guys,

Okay, so by now you’ve seen my inspiration video and my evil video (and hopefully many others)…

Now I’m going to show you what I like to call my TECHNIQUE video!

This is my opportunity to actually GIVE YOU one of my favorite (and most effective) techniques from my Pure Personality course.

This is something I like to call the “Butterfly Effect.”

Its a deadly SIMPLE method you can use in any bar, club, party, or social situation to meet literally HUNDREDS of women in a very short period of time.

Its extremely effective, and I show you how to do it all in this video:

Click Here For The Butterfly Effect Technique

Take some time to watch the video all the way through, then go out and try it yourself!

Let me know how it goes…

Video: Thundercat Vs. 2 Hot Guys

August 8, 2008 by  
Filed under Video

Hey guys,

This week I have a very interesting video to share with you, but before I do, I want to give you a bit of background…

I got my friend Erica to invite a number of girls to come by my place one hot summer’s day.  None of them knew why they were going to be there, they were just doing it as a favor for my friend.

So I had NEVER met these girls before.  They didn’t know me.  I didn’t know them.

I had two guys I knew show up as well.  Their names are Theo and Zack.  Here’s a little bit about them:


Theo is a personal trainer here in Hollywood.  He’s extremely muscular and fit, and every girl who sees him is instantly turned on by his looks.

When you compare Theo’s chizzled body to my rotund Kung-Fu Panda-esque body, there’s simply no doubt about it – I’m the loser!


Zack is a big party guy.  He goes out to the clubs 5-6 nights a week (no kidding!).  By his own admission, he finds hooking up with girls “easy.”

Zack is a very good looking guy, with a head of hair I’d kill for.  Me, I’m not the club going type anymore.  So when it comes to social pick-up skills, Zack should have me beat.

The Shoot

The way things worked is that Erica would bring the girls out one at a time, and they each met with Theo, Zack, and myself.

After each meeting, my friend Ryan would interview the girls about their experience while my friend Steve video taped the interview.

I want to re-itterate:  NONE of the girls really knew what was going on!

And trust me – this was NOT a professional production!  It was just my friends with a video camera.  No make up artists, special effects, or any of that stuff.  I’m sure you’ll be able to tell from the quality of the video, this was really HOME MADE!

My friend Ryan, who interviewed each of the girls, was absolutely SHOCKED by their responses.

In each instance, I came of just as attractive, and in most cases – even MORE attractive – than the good looking guys!

You can see the whole video for yourself here:

Thundercat Vs. 2 Better Looking Guys

You’ll actually get to see the girl’s honest reactions to me and the other guys for yourself,

Let me know what you guys think in this thread.


P.S.  Some of you haters might be inclined to think that this video was somehow “staged.”  I can assure you, that is not the case.

None of the girls were coached on what to say.  All their reactions stem from the conversations they had with me and the two other guys.

You can tell, just by watching the way they answer the questions, they’re NOT reading from a script.

It was very important to me that we capture the REAL REACTIONS of these women, so I can prove to all of you how effective personality is when it comes to generating attraction.

At the end of the day, I know there are some guys out there bitter and shallow-minded enough to still think I “faked” this shoot.  But that’s okay.  Those are the guys who’ll never succeed with girls.

I’ll leave it to you to decide if what you see is real or not.

Go check out the video here:

Click Here For The Video