Five Methods For Kicking Negative People Out Of Your Life
Dan & Jennifer have a good article up on their blog about 5 techniques you can use to banish people from your life who keep you down and spread negativity like a cancer. Check it out…
Negative “energy vampires” are not living a life full of happiness and success, yet they will happily drag you down to their level unless you escape their clutches before it is too late!
Use these 5 basic guidelines as an outline that will help to safeguard you from negativity, and will also help you to identify negative people so that you can remove yourself from their sphere of influence.
Once you have internalized not practicing the following unsuccessful habits, you will suddenly start noticing people in your life who consistently practice them on an almost daily basis.
1. No Gossiping
It doesn’t matter how justified you think you are in talking about other people’s perceived shortcomings, doing so will never serve to bring about positive results.
When people do things that you don’t agree with or that you don’t understand, all that demonstrates is that they do not see life in the same way that you see it. It doesn’t it make them a bad person, it just means that their understanding of any given situation is different than yours.
Granted, in many circumstances it may seem painfully obvious that someone could have handled a situation in a more positive manner. However, even if that is the case, rehashing the details with other people will only perpetuate the negativity.
In addition, many people thrive on discourse and chaos, so by participating in negative discussions about others, all you are doing is indirectly giving people permission to continue adding fuel to that fire. When you are seen as a “negative fuel source,” you will invariably find that people will continue stopping by to get a fill-up!
2. No Whining or Complaining
Let me ask you this: Does whining or complaining about any given situation actually do anyone any good whatsoever?
I’m not talking about constructive criticism, learning from our mistakes, or recognizing pitfalls so that we can avoid them in the future. No, I’m talking about when a situation is already clearly less than desirable, yet you continue to talk about how undesirable it is!
When the office thermostat is broken and it is cold as a deep-freeze in your building, will anything be gained by continuing to repeat the obvious? If your spouse or significant other is being (in your opinion) unreasonable, are you going to gain anything by constantly spouting off about how upset you are about the situation?
Complaining accomplishes absolutely nothing other than drawing attention to an already less than favorable set of circumstances. If something is worth complaining about, then it is also worth taking action on. Stop whining, and start taking action, because if you don’t, all of the whiners and complainers will crowd around you in order to get their negativity fix.
3. No Co-Dependency
All of us have friends, family members, or co-workers who bring real-world negative issues to us, and ask for our input. Sometimes they are looking for advice, while other times they just want to “vent”.
In either case, however, pumping up their already negative point of view by agreeing how terrible any given situation is will only serve to cement in their minds how terrible that situation is! In addition, you will be sending them the clear signal that you are willing to be a sounding board for their complaints in the future.
Rather than rallying the forces of negativity in order to combat someone’s issues, instead just provide for them a calming, reassuring voice of reason when their lives are in turmoil. Don’t turn your back on them, but don’t fuel their point of view that they are the “victim” either.
Instead, listen with a compassionate ear while keeping your own feelings in check. You will do them much more of a service by helping them to find a positive spin on their situation rather than becoming a participant in their negativity.
4. No Cross Contamination
It is impossible to swim in a river full of muddy water, yet still be able to get out of that river without a speck of dirt on you. The only way to avoid that dirt – or that negativity – is to refuse to take a dip into that river in the first place.
From an emotional standpoint, it is not possible for you to participate in negativity, and then go back into your positive bubble without dragging some of that negativity in with you.
Most people would say that it is not possible for them to completely avoid negativity, and I would tend to agree. However, just because you are physically present in a situation does not mean that you need to actually participate on an emotional level.
You can be involved in a discussion or in the resolution of a negative situation without allowing your own emotional set point to drop down to a less-than positive level. When life throws negativity at you, stay in the game, but practice equanimity in order to handle the situation without allowing the negative vibrations to affect you on an individual level.
5. No Being “Holier than Thou”
After finding all of these great ways to recognize and avoid negativity, it becomes very easy to think that you are somehow “different” than everyone else. You start to feel “enlightened” and you recognize how a large number of the people in your life are on planes, trains, and automobiles that are all headed in the wrong direction.
Here’s a clue: get a grip on yourself! You are no better, nor any worse than any of those people. Those people are neither better, nor any worse than you.
The only difference between the “enlightened” you and the people who practice negativity is that you see things from a different point of view than they do. It is not appropriate for you to try to force your way of thinking onto those people, and in most cases it is also quite impossible.
By running around life with an attitude that you are somehow better than other people, all you will do is serve to alienate most of the people around you. Then, before you know it, other “holier than thou” individuals will start to flock to your side. Then all you will have accomplished is serving to divide your circle of influence into people who live on the “right” or the “wrong” side of the tracks – from your point of view.
Conclusion: By following guidelines similar to the methods that you just read, and by practicing the fine art of being positive, you will begin to enjoy your life and consciously create it to be whatever it is that you want it to be.
That’s the prize.
However, be advised that these success habits are just that – habits. Only practicing them when it is convenient for you to do so will only bring about positive results in small doses. Consistency is key.
Also, be prepared to burn some bridges in the process. Right now in your life there are probably people who will fade away completely when they realize that you will not be participating in their drama anymore.
The ladder of success is never crowded at the top!
These are some good tips to keep you feeling positive and focused on positivity. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that being positive is an incredibly attractive trait in any person, and you can’t go wrong with filling your life with good, positive habits!