Here’s a great article on overcoming your sticking points by Love Systems Instructor Sheriff:

Sheriff writes:

I’m going to add something here, that you should do EVERY SINGLE MONTH, at least, maybe every week.

I still get value from this exercise, and it takes very little time. However, just knowing this exercise won’t help, you have to actually DO IT.

Take one piece of A4. At the top write “I see a hot girl”. At the bottom write: “we start having sex” (or “she says ‘I do’”, or whatever your actual outcome is).

Then fill in a plausible and detailed explanation of how you got from seeing this chick to being balls deep. Whenever you get to a point where you’re not sure what to write, you’ve found a sticking point.

For the VAST majority of guys I’ve met, this will be:

“I see a hot girl. I go and run some opinion opener from the internet on her. Then, uh.. um. Maybe I tease her? Uh, and, uh.”

BANG. Sticking point identified. Do some research at this point. What comes next? Post a question to the forum. Ask someone what should happen next.

You don’t need to work out the best thing to say – you’re not looking for lines to memorize, and you’re not looking for some kind of magical routine – it’ll never go down the way you’ve planned it anyway. You’re looking for an understanding of a plausible next step. Don’t accept answers like “Then you be an alpha male and she fucks you” – not good enough. Ask for specific sample dialogue. Don’t try and replicate those, don’t try and parrot that shit off, but use them to get an understanding of what and why happens next.

As my own example, the first time I did this, I got to: “we’re making out in the club”, and I was like WTF happens next? So I asked a natural buddy, and he said: “Last time I just told the girl I’d make her a cocktail back at mine”.

What did I do? I went out and spent a far too much money on cocktail alcohol and equipment. Next time I went out, I was making out with this girl, and was like: “So, uh, do you want a cocktail back at mine?”. Answer: “No”. DOH! Asked for more advice on this, was told to make the bounce home gentler and less obvious … and with time, got that shit sorted. Learning how to bounce was a massive sticking point for me, and I hadn’t even realised it – once I had that sorted, I started having a one-night stand. The point being: you won’t get this stuff right first time, but a plausible idea of how to go about it is crucial

Do I use some long-winded and complicated extraction technique now? No, of course not. Now I instinctively know how to bounce, instinctively know the subtleties, and tend to just say: “ok, we’re out of here!”. But the identification of the sticking point through the above exercise (and subsequent ones), the focus on actually closing and getting from A to B is what started accelerating my game.

Key points:

• Write personal, detailed, and fictional descriptions of how you went from seeing a girl to fucking her to help you get the process straight in your head, and identify your weak points
• Ask for advice any time you find yourself having trouble writing plausible dialogue or action sequences
• The point isn’t to prescript the interaction, the point is to identify your sticking points in getting from A to B – it won’t ever go down the way you planned anyway
• Don’t accept wishy-washy advice that doesn’t come with plausible detailed examples

Hope this helps – just reading it won’t though – actually TRY IT.

To find out more on overcoming sticking points, check out the Love Systems Sticking Points Interview.

Good stuff.  If you’re dealing with sticking points, dealing with them can greatly improve your game.

In my last article I promised something for new guys so here it is, also if there’s anything you guys would really like me to cover then leave a comment and I’ll see about making a post .

To often do newbie and even intermediate guys focus on advanced concepts and ideas that either do nothing for them, or else make them seem weird without the fundamentals. In fact I suggest that all guys, including advanced, touch back on the fundamentals and make sure that they are either improving or not getting worse. This is a practice I do often actually. So exactly what are the fundamentals of game? I’ve thought about this and came up with the following…

-Body Language

-Tonality

-Eye Contact

-Light Kino (or touch) that isn’t creepy

-Vibing

-Being NORMAL

If you lack any of these six things then any other form of game is a complete waste of time. These six things make up the cake, the rest of game is the icing and decorating. Without the icing you might have a mediocre cake but with only the icing you don’t even have a cake. So lets break down each of these six things to get you started.

1. Body Language

In my mind there are two levels to Body Language. First thing to learn is the “Alpha” Body Language. Basically taking up space, chest out, chin up, back straight ect ect. There are countless articles and exercises out there to develop this, from the Alexander Technique to imagining a string running down your spine. The idea is to give off a dominant and powerful masculine energy that portrays confidence. Your nonverbal signs are 93% of your communication, your actual words being only 7%.

Now keep in mind that with all new skill sets in game you’re going to go overboard with everything and overdo it…this is actually a GOOD thing because you can only calibrate what’s appropriate by doing to much of something and then balancing it. If it’s not to much then you’re not pushing yourself and if it’s been to much for a while then you need to learn to tone it back down again.

The second level to learn once the first is down is how to relax. You don’t want to be the guy who constantly has to look like superman and is always caught on the idea of looking alpha. It’s time to relax your shoulders and develop more fluid carefree motions. The most powerful form of body language is looking completely at ease and comfortable in your own skin, again without it seeming try hard though. Later on once these are down you can learn more advanced body language for particular situations such as opening, rapport building, sexual, take away’s ect ect.

2. Tonality

This is by far one of the hardest to learn with the exception of “being normal” for some people. Speaking clearly without mumbling, talking in a loud and crisp voice, getting rid of any kind of stutter or pause fillers such as “uh” “um” “you know” “like” or anything similar. Your voice should also be animated and lively, if you have a monotonous voice then anything you say will be boring and people will not pay attention to you. Always try and speak from your diaphragm which is located between your chest and stomach, being nasal is the most unattractive voice quality. Finally having a deep voice will always help and it should sound strong and masculine. This is actually where I could still develop the furthest out of the six fundamentals and will probably take vocal lessons to improve my tonality, that’s how serious it is.

3. Eye Contact

Again there are two levels for this one. The first is basic eye contact where you are simply able to hold someones gaze, especially a girls. You shouldn’t be staring but instead be relaxed by it and give almost a curious energy through your eyes. Looking at her tits or ass will be doom for you, unless it’s done in an advanced way but again we’re focusing on the cake not the icing, and I even had a girl shit test me one time on this. I was on a date and the girl had double D tits and began jumping up and down in front of me acting happy. The entire time I kept my eyes locked on hers while smirking and finally she stopped and looked at me and said “very good”.

Keep in mind the eyes can betray submissiveness by darting your eyes away or especially by looking down. Once this is mastered then the second level would be sexual eye contact. This is hard to explain in words but it’s basically looking at a girl with your full desire for her being expressed through your eyes. It takes great confidence and nonverbally puts everything out on the table. With sexual eye contact you are still looking into her eyes and should have what’s called “laser eyes” where you maintain eye contact completely. With sexual eye contact even if she looks away your eyes should be focused on hers, this is not staring or being creepy about it though and can often be misinterpreted through writing. Best way to learn this is by watching movies and observing the actors eyes before he kisses the girl or even better going out in field and observing a natural. When you see a natural with a girl watch the way he looks at her and see if you can tell his strong sexual intent for her just from his eyes, if you can then you’re seeing it done right.

4. Light Kino

Many guys in field have one of the two problems. Either they can’t muster the courage to even touch a girl in any way or else they are incredibly aggressive and creep the girl out with uncomfortable kino. If you’re the first you MUST get over this and begin touching the girl. You should actually be touching not just her but everyone, even guys! Pats on the shoulder, elbow touches, light hand holds, upper back and the such. Basically if a guy can’t get light touch going how in the world does he expect to get sexual touching going. Also the longer you are in an interaction with a girl and not touching her the more precedent you set for NOT touching her and when you finally do it will be much more awkward and uncomfortable. This doesn’t mean you have to touch RIGHT from the approach, although you can, but definitely within the first 2-3 minutes.

For the aggressive guy just tone it down. This guy is definitely better then the first but women will often find you creepy. The reason for aggressive touching early on is either being drunk, way to sexual and horny, or trying to be “alpha”. If it’s the first then drink less or not at all. If it’s the second then really just try and control yourself, keep in mind that if you control yourself now you’ll be able to get all the touching you want later. For the third guy he needs to get over the idea of being so “alpha” and tone it down, if your aggressive kino hasn’t been working why not try it another way?

5. Vibing

This is basically being able to hold a normal and pleasant conversation without any motive. Can you talk with a girl comfortably about anything and engage in what is called “fluff talk”? If not then even though you have all these cool attraction routines and interesting stories she’ll become uncomfortable with you or else never see you as a real person. Vibing helps build familiarity and is a way to show that you’re normal (see number 6). Point blank if you can’t talk to a girl normally then how do you expect to talk to her in a way that makes her attracted to you? To practice this begin conversations with everyone and see how long you can keep it flowing while talking about every day things. Chances are though you already know how to vibe. Think of your conversations with your best friend or family member, pretty easy going and normal without an agenda. The idea is to duplicate that with a stranger and the best way I’ve seen is by assuming rapport and just talking to her as relaxed as possible without any investment or care in the interaction.

6. Being NORMAL

This is the hardest to teach for those trying to learn. Many guys who come into this community without having the average fundamental social skills and then begin learning advanced attraction material which makes them weird. No matter how much theory or routines you know if you can’t be normal with a girl she will see through you and want nothing to do with you. Some weirdness is OK though and shows individuality…it can be cute quirks to a personality. However for the most part you want to be a normal fun guy. Without that as the backbone of your game then NOTHING will work. The best way to develop being normal is to engage in a bunch of different activities so that you’re thrown in social settings. Also developing social circles is EXTREMELY useful. You should have social circles of normal cool guys (not the D&D buddies sorry) as well as social circles of attractive girls. It’s OK to be in the friend zone, you WANT female friends. You will not become normal though by spending all your time discussing game with community guys or have the only idea of social interactions be from your nights of sarging.  Also developing a sense of humor and being aware of social feedback will help tremendously.

Alright so those are the fundamentals and I suggest everyone, no matter what your skill level is, to look into at least one of these things and try and improve it. These are all seriously the frames that hold up your game and if one should weaken due to lack of attention or development then it will all come down.

-Jarett aka Psych

Hey Guys,

For the new year I thought I’d tackle one of the first problems people experience within game and slowly move through the topics throughout the rest of 2009.

Are you afraid of approaching someone you like through a fear of rejection?

Do you get that horrible feeling in your stomach and begin to formulate 100 reasons why someone wouldn’t want to talk to you?

This is a lot more common than you would believe. There are a number of different products out there which will supposedly “fix” the fear of approaching strangers, especially ones you are attracted to. However, few of them take the time to understand why we have that fear in the first place. If you understand why you have this fear or anxiety, you can take steps to counter it. This is probably the biggest topic when it comes to understanding attraction. Well, that is to say, it is the one that most people have the biggest problem with. I constantly receive the same excuses time and time again when it comes to this subject.

1) I’m scared of approaching

2) I have a fear of rejection

3) They aren’t in the mood to be spoken to

4) She won’t think I look good enough

5) I can’t meet people in a park/cinema/night club

6) I’m not good enough for him/her

7) There’s no point, it won’t work

These are probably the most common reasons I am given as to why someone can’t approach, or the feeling that is preventing them from approaching. The fact that these are so prevalent is because they are all based on very real psychological factors to do with learning and behaviour.

Anxiety is defined by Seligman, Walker and Rosenhan (2001) as a physiological state characterized by cognitive, somatic, emotional, and behavioral components. These factors essentially make up the feelings that we experience as fear, apprehension, and worry.

There are some physical sensations that you will probably be aware of such as heart palpitations, nausea, chest pain, shortness of breath, sweaty palms, shaking and perhaps headaches. These may be common to you. Some people will disguise these by making a decision not to approach. This will relieve the sensations and instead leave a sort of “numbness” to the situation.

Sigmund Freud himself believed that these anxious feelings were created by an association between a past negative experience and the current situation. These associations are often false and not related through causality – the idea that one situation directly affects another, but through correlation – one thing “tends to affect another over repeated attempts.”

When people begin to see this correlation as a fact, it is commonly referred to as “Magical Thinking.”

There are two governing principles behind magical thinking. The first is the law of similarity which is the notion that things that resemble each other are casually connected in some way that defies scientific testing.

For example:

Here people will typically see vertical columns of squares and circles as opposed to horizontal mixed rows of squares and circles.

The second law is the law of contagion which is the belief that “things that have been in physical contact or in spatial or temporal association with other things retain a connection after they are separated.” Contagion effects have been noted to be more effective with negative associations than with positive ones. This is probably best explained by the notion of getting “bad luck” or having a bad time every time you go to a specific venue.

Freud believed that the anxiety or fear was maintained through a form operant conditioning. Essentially the feeling of anxiety is reinforced every time you are in a similar situation. You then “learn” to remove the negative feeling of anxiety by not approaching. These connections of patterns, or “magical thinking,” are common throughout all the human societies across the world. The human brain is adept at forming these patterns, though we do not have a particularly good system for distinguishing between real and perceived connections. Theoretically this is due to a simple survival tactic. If we notice rustling behind a bush it is better for us to assume it is some form of threat and begin to prep our bodies to defend ourselves rather than ignore it and risk being eaten.

Our fear or anxiety response is actually designed to help us survive in a fight or flight scenario. Believe it or not the symptoms detailed earlier are all beneficial to us in times of survival. Perspiration occurs to help cool us down, heart rate increases to improve blood circulation and muscles tighten as they are filled with oxygen in preparation for use. Unfortunately these are not particularly beneficial when we are looking for something witty to say during a conversation with someone.

In short we learn the fear through a number of negative experiences and then reinforce them by not doing anything about it. The bodies natural reaction towards a fearful situation is the feeling we associate with approach anxiety or the fear of the approach. The way to overcome this is to reverse the learning.

All of the common problems detailed above can be directly related to either “magical thinking” in the form of a false belief that failure is almost certain due to some form of connection to a previous situation that failed. Or pure fear learnt and reinforced by not approaching. These are both forms of self fulfilled prophecy i.e. Unless you actively do something to fix it they will continue to support themselves. The good news is that this problem is far from unfixable.

The bad news is that it does take time. The easiest way to fix this is to actually go out and meet new people. The problem is that when you do this, any negative experience you receive is likely to reinforce the previous attitude or fear you had before. As I’ve mentioned before one of the easiest ways to get around this is to simply meet people for the sake of meeting people.

Most of us are actually more than happy to talk to other people, especially on boring long journeys, or when waiting in a long queue. Get used to talking to absolutely everybody, male or female, young and old. This should help you generate a great deal of positive responses to your approaches and help curb some of those negative connections.

I hope this helps guys,

Adam Lyons

(AFC Adam)

It’s important to LOOK at yourself from time to time, and examine your mission in life.

Of course when we cover all of the psychology of personal growth in my visual system called mindOS, we learn about a little thing psychoanalysts call Observing Ego. This is the ability to take a step outside yourself, look back and judge how you’re doing in your relationships to others. Observing Ego is also the FIRST skill all human beings have to learn in doing ANY personal growth.

In fact, it is IMPOSSIBLE to grow, change, or evolve without this skill. And it is a LEARNED skill very few of us have the fortune or teaching to cultivate.

Many of you have also asked general questions about your missions in life as men. I know it’s a no-brainer that we all have “missions in life,” but really, how much time have you literally spent imagining, planning, plotting, and discussing your personal mission as a man with those who you might consider your teammates? Very few. Read more »

There’s a term out there that applies to newbies.  It’s called “Paralysis of Analysis”.  When I first started I definitely fell into this trap.  I’d read everything there is to read, and post every place I could find, but rarely go out and do any field work.  Now I find it irritating to force myself  to sit at my computer and post anywhere, since it takes time away from the time that could be spent in the field, developing social circles, or school and other life building goals.

Many new guys fall into this trap yet many find there way out again and begin going out in the field as I did.  There seems to actually be a natural correlation.  Those who stay in the community for 3 months will keep it going and those who stay for 5 months usually have begun really learning from the field.  This post isn’t for the new guys though, (sorry I’ll make one for you guys later on), this post is for those intermediate guys.  The guy’s who have taken the game seriously and have gone out again and again into the field and still have yet to begin seeing the results that they’ve been waiting for.  This post is for every guy who has asked the following question…

“What do I need to do to make that change and get myself to the next level?”

The answer? Become Your Own Guru Read more »

Today I thought I’d share with you guys something I know is still plaguing a lot of the guys in the community.

The question to ask yourself is… Are you a victim of Premature Ejectulation?

What I am referring to is leaving a set prematurely because you “feel” you have been blown out.

I have witnessed a wide range of students now some of them pretty well known amongst the community who will quite happily open a set, get them hooked, and run a decent number of routines generating a great deal of IOI’s and then eject, actually saying goodbye.

A key point here is that this should not be confused with capture – recapture. Whereby you leave the set on a high note at the beginning of the night, with a time bridge stating you will probably see them around later on, and maybe they owe you a dance/drink whatever. Just so they don’t feel trapped by you early on in the night.

I am talking about having a set hooked late into the evening, and leaving the set for a number of reasons which may seem valid in your head at the time, however upon further inspection you can see that it would have made more sense to stay in set.

The common reasons I have heard are as follows: Read more »

The intention of this report is to give a snapshot of the current state of dating science, and to make a few simple recommendations on how to improve the experiences of those who wish to become proficient in dating and seduction.

I expect some of this may be controversial at first, but I hope some of these recommendations will become standard practice in the future. I believe I have a unique vantage point on the matter, and that this report will help many men have more success with women. Read more »

Now the first question that must come to your mind while reading this is “Who the hell is Psych and why in the world is this guy posting here?!” The answer?…Thundercat REALLY goofed by choosing me.  So now you’re all stuck with me and will just have to deal.

Here’s what people are saying about me though….

“Psych is pretty good. I’ve seen him in field and know that a lot of people would benefit from his writings.”-White Rabbit

“i think psych would be pretty good. his theory is on-point.”-Elev8

“Psych. He pulls lesbians.”-Compey

“Psych’s gonna blow up in the scene hardcore, i saw this youtube video of him pulling some chick on stilts!”-Millionflame

“PSYCH! One time he got pulled over by a female cop… and he fucked his way out of the ticket!”-Hellmach

“Psych has blue hair. I will work with him any day : )”-Heartwork

“I once heard that Psych opened a hot ass MILF at starbucks by singing “I’M BRINGIN SEXY BACK!” the whole song! He ended up making hot love to her 30 secs later.”-Flame

“I heard Psych amog’d a bear out of eating him and the bear ended up buying him a drink and offering him some raw salmon”-Bill Brasky

But who am I really?  I got into this game about 2 1/2 years back by reading a book I’m sure many are familiar with.  It was actually shown to me by my girlfriend at the time, worst mistake of her life!  Now even though I had a girlfriend I was by no means a “natural”.  I’d spend almost every weekend playing Magic the Gathering…by myself.  I also of course have my sob stories when it comes to women as I’m sure every community guy does.  However that was the past and since then I’ve made my transformation and worked tirelessly on improving myself with women and learning the skill, art, and science of what we all call “Game”.  Since my journey I surrounded myself with like minded individuals to aid me in reaching my full potential, which is really what this article is all about and what I’ll get into now.  You can find more of me by checking out youtube. Read more »

(Get more from AFCAdam at AttractionExplained.com)

In the past few months I’ve been so busy writing articles for other companies and people that I rarely get the time to write about any of my own thoughts and ideas. I’ve always been a massive fan of the game, as I’m sure many of you out there are. The thing I’ve personally always enjoyed the most about it however, is Innovating.

When I was first discovered by the community as a whole it was based on the fact that a lot of my concepts were actually different from a lot of the current stuff out there, and they where also backed up by as many psychological studies as I could possibly find to support my arguments. Since then a lot of my ideas have been built upon and developed by the community. Over the years I’m glad to see they’re actively being used by people all across the world. Something I would never have dared dream was actually possible.

Despite all the work I’ve been doing I still haven’t stopped developing new ideas and  theories and researching into the practical explanations and studies to support these ideas.

I’ve never been one to keep my work to myself and then sell them in some high priced product, I much prefer to get them down on paper and share them with the people who will actually use them, namely those reading this very article. I’m now actively taking the time to jot down some of my new theories and revisiting the old ones in a bunch of articles I plan on releasing on this site, after Thundercat kindly gave me permission to do so.

I’m hoping these will be topics little covered in the community to date. They will all be designed to be as explanatory as possible and to be practical things you can use straight away to get results asap. I hope you enjoy reading them as much as I enjoy researching and writing them. So without further fluff here’s the first one and it’s all about logistics… Read more »

It’s a sad fact of life that everyone out there has some type of insecurity that makes them feel "unattractive."  Even the most  beautiful women in the world have stuff about them that makes them feel ugly at times.

For men – their visual nature can often times make them very critical of their own appearance.  There is always something that makes us  feel as though we are ugly.

Maybe it’s the fact that we are too short, or fat, or bald, or old?  There are any number of factors that make us feel "unworthy" of the attentions of beautiful women.

But if that was the case – no one would ever be able to attract a woman at all!

In fact, the next time you’re out, take a mental note of every guy you see with an attractive girl, and try and appraise whether or not you think that guy’s looks are worthy of the girl he’s with.

Sure, sometimes you’ll find a guy who’s with a girl and they are both fine credits to their species.  But most of the time, what you’ll find is the guys with really hot and appealing women range from "average" to "ugly" in the looks department.

That’s because beauty – in men – is the exception, not the standard.

But more than that, men rely on factors OTHER than their looks to help attract the kinds of women they want to them.

There are three major factors that most men try and utilize to the best of their ability when attracting new and exciting women to them.  They are:

1.  Wealth

2.  Social Status

3.  Personality

Let’s go through these one at a time…

The first factor men use to attract the opposite sex is their wealth, or finances.  Proving one’s "provider" status to women is a sure fire  way to get female attention.  After all, what woman DOESN’T want to be pampered?

However, there is a big problem with this tactic.  First of all, not everyone is rich or wealthy, so this factor is reserved for the few that are.  More than that, women often feel like you’re trying to "bribe" or "impress" them with your wealth, and because of that, they will treat you more like an ATM machine with feet, rather than a loving, caring, mate.

Keep in mind that there is nothing wrong with using financial success to draw women into you.  But unless you have the money in the bank to do so, you can’t rely on this method to get you a good woman.

The second factor is social status.  Women are very attuned to the social hierarchy of things, so having a "high status" around women definitely makes any man more attractive.

This status comes from holding a certain position of power.  It could be an important job, some type of fame, or just the esteem of your peers.

However, one of the difficulties with this is that you need to be able to display social status.  You can’t just tell someone "I’m a very important person" and have them believe it.  They have to get a sense of it themselves, and sometimes your situation is not conducive to communicating this (like meeting a woman on the street for instance.  She has no idea who you are!).

Also – not everyone has a high social status.  Some people are content with maintaining a medium to low level status.  Where does that leave these people?

With the THIRD factor – that of Personality.  The thing I like about personality is that it’s something EVERYONE can use to attract the kind of women they desire, and it doesn’t matter how much money you make or what your social situation is like.

Having an attractive personality is the best way for "average" or "unattractive" men to get women interested in them.  Being able to make a woman laugh will turn her on more than a guy with big muscles and a full head of hair.

Understand that women are slaves to their emotions, and your personality is the method by which you trigger emotions inside a woman!

The better your personality, the better you’re able to make a woman feel.

And your personality is something that can be changed and cultivated over time.  You can make yourself into anything you want to be!  It’s  truly amazing how some "losers" can become "rockstars" in the eyes of their friends and the women they like just by tweaking their personality a little bit.

So how do you do this?

The first step is to really work on your confidence. The more confident you are, the better you’re able to display your personality.

Working on your social skills will also help you to be relaxed and have fun around women.  This will create new opportunities for attraction.

And learning how to create strong emotional bonds is also the best way there is to get a woman emotionally attached to you.

When you use these three techniques, you’ll be able to gain the fancy of any woman you wish – no matter WHAT you look like.