Getting The Most Out Of Your Pick-Up Time

September 14, 2011 by  
Filed under Tips & Tricks

Sinn, over at his blog Sinns Of Attraction, has a pretty good post up about how to maximize your time when you’re out picking up girls.  They’re pretty basic rules, but good to follow none the less.

Sinn writes:

The 5 rules for maximizing your pick up time are:

1. Set goals for your time. A lot of guys go out with the goal of “doing some approaches” or ” Working on their game” then they end up standing around by the bar “getting comfortable”. Instead you want to set a # of approaches you want to attempt in the set amount of time. Once you do that you know how much time you should have between approaches as well.

2. Approach Right away. I personally have to do a few warm up approaches in order to make the transition from anti-social to social. Most of you guys reading this are the same way. So you need to approach as soon as you get into the venue. It doesn’t have to be the girl of your dreams but you need to get used to immediately switching into “social mode.”

3. Don’t spend more than 25 minutes in a row with any one girl, unless you KNOW it’s on. This is my biggest personal sticking point as I like talking to girls and will enjoy chatting even if it’s not going anywhere. It’s a mistake. Instead you want to keep the interactions to 25 minutes or less until you have a really good sense it’s on.

4. Don’t be afraid to walk away. When it’s obviously not going anywhere, don’t be afraid to leave the interaction. Now if you’re a newer guy it may be worth it to “plow” for 10 minutes to get practice with that sort of thing but if you’re already fairly successful and it’s not working, just leave.

5. Re-approach girls you talked to briefly later on. Sometimes walking away is the only way to get the girls to change their minds about you. But at the same time it’s worth going back and talking to the girls you approached earlier later in the night as things change quickly. Same thing for short sets during the day. A lot of the time girls will like you better the second time around.

Knowing to approach quickly and when to eject from a set are two skills which will really help you to maximize your success when it comes to meeting women.  Waiting too long to approach a girl, and talking to a girl you don’t have a chance with for too long are probably the two biggest mistakes guys make when they’re first starting out.

Love Systems Tips: Meeting Women In Bars

September 14, 2011 by  
Filed under Tips & Tricks, Video

Love Systems just put up a new Youtube vid with Nick Savoy giving some advice on meeting girls in bars.  Check it out.

Places You Don’t Feel Comfortable Picking Up Chicks At…

September 8, 2011 by  
Filed under Tips & Tricks

Triple S over at the Attraction Forums asks the question:  Are there places you don’t feel comfortable picking up women at?

Triple S writes:

So I was wondering if there are places where you don’t feel comfortable sarging at? For me, it’s the subway. If you’ve never been to Montreal, our subway is old, noisy and underground. During rush hours, it’s jam-packed and everyone is squeezed in. I take it everyday to go to and come back from work. I know a bit about public transportation game from what I read here, but yet, I never feel like doing an approach. Is it because of AA? Maybe a little, but more than that, it’s just that I don’t feel the environement is adequate. I mean first of all, most of the people have headphones on. I’d guess about 95 % of people take the subway with music, in the other 5 %, 3 % are talking to someone, 1.5 % are reading a book or a paper and the other 0.5 % have nothing.

I tried an approach once and got shut down pretty quickly but that’s not what discouraged me. I sometimes wish I could, and it could definately be something that I could work on, but I just feel like it wouldn’t be a place where people like to be approached. I guess if you meet someone on the platform, that’s another story, but on the actual subway itself? I just don’t feel it, even though I wish I did because there are tons of pretty girls.

How about you? Any places like that where you just don’t feel right?

Well, to be fair, there are TONS of places you can try and pick up chicks at that will make you feel uncomfortable.  Heck, pretty much ANY place can make you feel uncomfortable if the circumstances for chatting up a girl are wrong.  But pick up is always about pushing yourself outside your “comfort zone” and going after what you want, even if you are uncomfortable doing it.

I can understand how trying to pick up a girl on a crowded subway would intimidate anyone.  But you need to tailor your pick-up to the situation.  A high-energy style pick-up on a crowded subway car probably isn’t the right method, especially considering girls on the subway are probably very wary of “wierdos.”

But whether its a subway car, a bus stop, a movie theater, a funeral, or any number of other strange venues, there is ALWAYS a way to pick up a girl.  You just have to know what is.  I happen to think that the more awkward or uncomfortable the venue, the better it is to try the indirect approach to meeting a girl rather than anything too direct.

David Wygant On Approaching Women…

August 23, 2010 by  
Filed under Tips & Tricks, Video

Love him or hate him, you can’t deny – David Wygant knows his stuff.

Easy Ways To Talk To Women

February 19, 2010 by  
Filed under Tips & Tricks

DrWho over at mASF has a problem keeping conversations going with women.

DrWho writes:

Hi everyone,

for quite some time my largest problems is to be keeping conversations going and interesting. I could improve things a little by memorizing canned material and regularly surfing the internet for cool, fun stuff to talk about. I know about the typical topics girls like to talk about (psychology, esoterica, relationships, celebrities, emotionally stimulating stuff, etc.) and try to specifically look for the right stuff. I am able to show the right emotional state to make girls talkative (relaxed, playfully funny, energetic). Still most of the time a don’t have a fucking idea what to say – and the chick also not.

When I open a chick or get opened by one (yes, it happens to me every half a year or so), after a few sentences the conversation stalls because nothing comes to my mind. If I hang out with a girl quickly we start talking about the weather or just walk along in silence.

Previously I believed it is mostly a mind blank due to panic, but watching it for some time I notice I also don’t know what to say to people when I’m relaxed and nothing is at stake. I guess I’m not very creative and I think creativity is something very hard to learn. So I’m stuck.

I’m wondering if there is some more systematic way to find conversation topics than ‘just say what comes to your mind first’. I like ideas like the routine to watch the people around you looking for something to talk about to your target (still this one doesn’t work well most of the time because I rarely find interesting things to mention). Someone knows of a structured method of coming up with a conversation topic or a good book on the topic?

I hope I don’t get shot down because I emphasize that I want something systematic. I think this is reasonable because being creative in a structured way is much easier than doing it completely free. If someone is interested the article below should bring this point across.

I can definitely sympathize with DrWho here. Having a hard time carrying on conversations is a pretty common problem and I used to suffer from the same thing. After all, conversation is WORK.  It requires mental engagement and interest in what you’re talking about.

In my course Pure Personality, I teach a method that I call “conversational ninjitsu” that allows you to carry on conversations effortlessly by following a few easy steps. Once you get the hang of it, it can be quite effective.

But barring buying a full course or memorizing a bunch of canned material, the method I’ve found most effective in talking and carrying on conversation is a very simple “fish and hook” method.

Basically, you can think of it like “Question and Answer time.”

Just ask someone questions until you find something you can relate to, and then share a story of your own that relates to the answer.

So for example, you could have an exchange like:

You: “Where are you from?”
Them: “Chicago.”
You: “Really? I’ve always wanted to go to Chicago and visit the Sears Tower. Have you ever been there?”
Them: “Oh yeah, it’s great!”
You: “Cool. If you could visit any location on Earth, where would you want to go?”

etc., etc.

It’s not rocket science, but it is effective.

How To Get Girls To Meet you Off Of Facebook

February 19, 2010 by  
Filed under Tips & Tricks

Checkmater over on mASF had a good question about getting girls you meet on Facebook to meet you offline.

Checkmater writes:

I spend way too much time on Facebook. Facebook chat, messages, poking etc they’re all great low-commitment ways to talk with girls. I have a few good things I’ve learned, would also like to solicit some advice b/c I have such a hard time meeting some1 in real life afterwards. Out of 1000 friends there are at least 100 attractive women.

However, there is a downside. For instance, a girl recently wrote on my wall telling me I look like a certain celebrity. Great! I wrote her a little message back, 3 sentences saying “What’s up?” She replied, “What’s up to you?” I replied, with a dull question, then nothing. I posted something on my wall a week later, and she replied to it.

My facebook protip:  Always end with some sort of witty interrogative. Absurdist questions are sometimes good. Negging her facebook profile picture, be careful though, you might think it’s funny to write, but it may not be nearly as funny to read.

Request for protip:  How do I get from here to, coffee, etc.

First of all, for those of you interested in Facebook Game, check out the article I just wrote over at Pick Up Evolution about meeting girls on Facebook.

But as far as meeting girls offline from Facebook, here is my advice…

There are two ways I know of to take Facebook meets offline.  The first is to host some type of event that you can invite people to. Whether its throwing a party or organizing a group to go out, you invite the girl you want to come along and bring her friends, and follow up with her to make sure she’s coming. Then, at the event, you chit-chat and number close or set up the date right there.

A second, slightly more sneaky option, is to check and see if she has her phone number listed in Facebook. Lots of people who update Facebook through their phones include their number in their contact info on their profile. Because only your friends see it, they don’t think twice about sharing, so you can get her number directly and start texting her and eventually set up a coffee date.

Another option is to email her and ask for her number straight up. Just say something like you’re updating your contacts and you realized you don’t have her number, or something like that.

Date People Using Your iPod

June 19, 2007 by  
Filed under Rants & Reviews

Okay, so online dating isn’t a big thing, but dating using your iPod just might be.  There’s a new site out there called PodDater.  It looks like a free dating site that’s trying to bridge the gap between "podcasts" and ""  In theory its an interesting idea, but it doesn’t look like its quite caught on yet.

Basically, you go there, open up a profile, and then upload a video to your profile of you saying anything you want.  Then, other people download that video onto their iPod and they can watch it (if they have a video iPod) or listen to it (if they have a crappy iPod that doesn’t support video).  And then when they get back to a computer they can go and contact that person.

Now, it looks like the site is still in development, so it’s not quite where it should be yet.  The idea of having a dating site where you can regularly upload audio or video podcasts to about yourself, what you’re doing, and what your dates were like sounds like a great idea – but it just doesn’t seem to be there quite yet.

You can check out PodDater for yourself here.  Be sure to come back and let me know what you think of it.

How To Pick Up Women At The Gym Successfully

June 18, 2007 by  
Filed under Tips & Tricks

Some guy named VenusianArtist (not sure if he’s affiliated with Mystery’s new website or what) wrote up a great post over on mASF about how to pick up women at the gym.  Check it out:

Read more

Initial Fear of the Approach

February 4, 2004 by  
Filed under Analysis

**Reposted from the first Lair, original date: 12/22/03

Someone on the DC list asked a pretty good question about approaching and fear of the approach. They talked about how hard it was to approach women initially in SS. I think this is a pretty valid point, because the first stage in anyone’s development as a seducer or pick-up artists is to learn how to approach girls.

Speaking as someone who comes from an SS background, I can feel for guys who are going through this. IMO, SS is one of the WORST systems for helping guys learn to cold approach. When I was just doing strict SS, I could not cold-approach to save my life. In fact, some of the best Speed Seducers I know cannot cold approach. They get most of their lays through social circles or the internet. That said, cold approaching is just very hard in general.

The best way to get over this, in my opinion, is to attend an in-field workshop. I know there was one in DC recently taught by Tyler Durden. Nothing helps more than having live, in-field instruction and demonstration by experienced people who can help you troubleshoot and guide you through the process. The only people doing this currently that I know of is Tyler Durden, Mystery, Badboy, and Harmless, who will be starting his workshops up in the coming months. That said, workshops are very “shit or get off the pot” in their nature. They will kick-start you into approaching, but they are NOT very conducive to mental masturbators and armchair seducers, so be sure you are prepared for it.

Short of that, hooking up with other guys who do this stuff is the best way to go. I know a lot of guys in the DC area are getting together on a regular basis to wing each other, which is a great way to learn. I started up my own lair in LA to help me out. Sometimes, just having others to talk to about this shit is good to help increase your skills.

The hardest part about approaching is just overcoming that fear of rejection. We all become so conditioned to avoiding emotional pain, that we get that knot in our stomachs every time we are about to talk to a girl we find attractive. The best guys I’ve seen at this have no fear of approaching because they are able to detach themselves from the outcome. Whenever you see a beautiful girl you wanna bang, you give her a lot of sexual power over you, which you then have to go about trying to regain in order to effectively sarge her.

What I’m doing in my game right now is getting to the point where I do not feel the need to give the girl that power. Where my inner game has hit such a level that I do not have to get validation from a girl. Its a tough thing to do, and something I’m struggling with. But all I have to do is look at someone like Zan, who is completely free of all that bullshit, to the point where he naturally attracts people to him. Its a very powerful and congruent way to live your life.

I’ll probably talk about this more later. Right now I gotta run. Gonna hang out with my brother and his hippy friends.


Zen, and the Art of Opening

February 4, 2004 by  
Filed under Tips & Tricks

**Reposted from the first Lair, original date: 12/18/03

Okay all you wannabees. Here is an article I wrote a few months back for Cliff’s List on approaching women. Its not my best work to date, but it should get you started off in the right direction as far as upping your game to the next level. Obviously, if you can already approach worth a damn, you might very well get nothing from this post, so go back to looking at your internet pornography. I know i will. =)



Zen, and the Art of Opening
An Essay on Approaching Women, by Thundercat

A butterfly flaps its wings, the breeze it creates sends a puff of pollen from a nearby flower into the air, causing a rhinoceros to sneeze. The sound of that sneeze causes a herd of zebras to stampede, disrupting the flow of wind current, which helps create a hurricane in the South Pacific, which causes American Airlines to cancel their flights that night, which means the girl of your dreams is forced to stay in town for one more day. You find her at your favorite bar with her friends, partying away her borrowed time.

Now what?

Though fate may have acted in your favor up to this point by doing the exact things necessary to get that exact girl to show up in that exact location at the exact same time that you would be there, the fact remains that it is now up to you to take action.

The idea of “opening” is the notion of approaching a woman with the express intent of engaging her in a conversation. By doing so, you then make her more receptive to talking to you, effectively opening her up for further interaction.

The “opener” is a line that is used to initiate the conversation. It is often the first sentence exchanged between the man and the woman he desires. “Pick-up Lines” are forms of openers, but openers can be anything to get the girl talking.

But there is more to opening than knowing what to say. Indeed, the process of “opening” a girl can be quite involved. The first thing to be aware of when opening a girl is the concept of “active disinterest.”

Now, those two words may seem rather nonsequiter or paradoxical when matched together. But there is an important reason why those two words should be matched together.

Have you ever been out and about, maybe in a bar or a club, and you see a beautiful woman. And after spotting said woman, you simply stand there, waiting for her to notice you and approach you? So you sit around trying to act cool, acting like you don’t see her, projecting a confident, macho attitude you hope is magnetic enough to get her attention?

Now, ask yourself how often that works.

This is an example of “inactive disinterest.” The opposite of this is when you actually take the action necessary to become noticed by the woman, while still portraying that disinterested attitude. Hence, “active disinterest.”

But why act disinterested? Obviously, you’re attracted to the girl, otherwise you wouldn’t be bothering to approach her. But put yourself in their position for a moment:

Imagine going through your average day, and being approached by a number of people who compliment you on your looks, your clothing, or an accessory of some sort, all because they want something from you. Kind of cheapens those compliments, doesn’t it? Especially when the seventh person of the day comes up and tells you how cool your purse is.

This is the reality of women, especially beautiful women. Women know men want to have sex with them. They get untold offers every day to have sex. Guy after guy will approach with that exact goal in mind. So girls, naturally, become accustomed to rejecting advances that telegraph intent, much the same way you might respond to a vagrant asking for change as you walk to work. You know what he is going to ask and you are prepared not to give it to him.

When you approach a woman and say “Hey baby, lookin’ good tonight,” you are telegraphing interest in an aggressive manor. By the same token, when you sheepishly approach and say “Hello. May I please buy you a drink?” you are not only telegraphing interest, but also doing so in a very wimpy way.

But when you enter with disinterest, you are neutral. You do not telegraph interest while neither coming off aggressive nor coming off wimpy. You are simply “Neutral.”

But being neutral simply isn’t enough, you must be engaging. Otherwise you run the risk of making the girl bored and having her walk away.

The best way to engage someone for the first time is by asking their opinion on something. When doing so, you are able to get them to invest their own personal thoughts and feelings into your burgeoning conversation. And once that’s invested, they are more likely to commit themselves to the interaction.

A neutral opinion opener can be anything that does not telegraph interest, while presenting options to your target that helps to encourage them to give and expand upon their opinion.

Examples of this are:

  • Which was better, Star Wars or the Empire Strikes Back?
  • Which do you prefer – Barbie or Skipper?
  • Do you like coffee or tea better?
  • Which is better – Diet Coke or Diet Pepsi?
  • What’s cooler to listen to – 80′s music or 90′s music?

Each of the above openers are neutral, and they both ask an opinion. But if you use these openers before you have caught your target’s interest, you run the risk of having to repeat yourself, so it is preferable to preface each neutral opinion opener with an “attention grabber.” This can be as simple as:

Hey guys, I need an opinion on something…


Yo guys, check this out…

These will engage the target and get them to listen for the opener. Attention Grabbers do not really need to be processed by the brain, they just have to be loud enough to be heard. But note that it is still important for them to be neutral. This is apparent by keeping the words “girls” or “ladies” out of them. By saying such, you draw attention to the fact that you are a man approaching them, and are most likely looking for sex. Rather, you want to get in the habit of referring to the girl you open in a neutral yet friendly term, like “guy” or “dude.”

It is important to note that you want to avoid attention grabbers that come off too needy or wimpy. By starting off with “Excuse me,” or “Pardon me,” you are presupposing you are interrupting her and asking her permission to engage her, when in fact, it is much more powerful and effective to engage her without asking permission.

So when you approach a woman with active disinterest, and you use a neutral opinion opener, you are increasing your chances of engaging the woman, and minimized that probability she will reject you.