The Top 10 Pick Up Artists Of 2008
January 9, 2009 by Thundercat
Filed under Top 10 Lists
Welcome one and all to the Top 10 list of best Pick Up Artists for the year 2008!
2008 was a strange year – for me personally, and for a lot of others, I think. In many ways, I’m glad the year is over. But regardless of how good of a year it was, there were many people in the seduction community who continued to rise above petty squabbles and drama and actually help other men improve their lives and their success with women, and this list is a CELEBRATION of those men, who have helped others throughout the past year.
For those of you new to the list, let me explain how the rankings work. It becomes very easy to get “caught up” in the hype of certain personalities, so I try and rank the Top 10 based on a number of criteria, which I believe must be present to be considered a good “PUA.” So all of this years winners were ranked based on:
1. In-Field Performance. This is basically the skills the PUA displays in the field with women. Most Top 10s deal with this factor exclusively, but I’ve found that just looking at a guy’s in-field performance can be misleading, since people have off-nights or can get lucky. That said, their ability to use the techniques in field repeatedly and consistently to get results is a big, big factor in the ranking process.
2. Innovations. This is what new outlook or techniques the PUA brings to the table. It’s easy for any new guy to get good using Mystery Method or any other school of seduction, but then again, that stuff is designed to work! So being innovative and bringing a new twist, spin, philosophy, technique, or whatever to the mix is also a big deal, because that means the PUA actually has something to contribute to his students and the community as a whole that no one else does.
3. Teaching Ability. This is how effectively the PUA can teach what he does to other people, and have them get similar results. This is another important factor, because it weeds out the people who are just the lucky naturals, and finds the PUAs who have something to offer humanity as a whole. After all, I don’t care if a guy gets laid a lot. I care if that guy can get ME laid a lot – and I think the same is true for you. That is why I factor in the PUA’s ability to teach others into the ranking.
4. Contributions To The Community. This is a measure of how much the PUA “gives back” to others in the seduction community. This factor is all about the PUA’s willingness to help others, the knowledge and experience he’s willing to share, and the compassion he shows to those who need help. Too many PUAs look down on people not as successful with women as they are, and that’s not what the seduction community is about, so giving back to it should play a factor, in my opinion.
5. Philosophy. This comes down to the PUA’s outlook on life, women, and other men in general. It’s about how they live their lives, and whether they’re consistent with it. Some PUAs spout great philosophy, but don’t really believe in it or practice it. But it’s that core foundations which will influence their students, so I believe this is important in factoring the rankings.
6. Likability. One of the things I base my ranking on is whether I actually like the PUA or not. This is a subjective thing, but I feel its important, because there’s usually a reason I don’t like someone, and that reason has to do with them being a fake, fraud, evil bastard, or what have you. I like to think I have a fairly decent “B.S. Radar,” so when I meet a PUA in person, I can usually tell if they are legit or not after getting to know them, which is why I tend to rank PUAs I have actually met in real life. If I haven’t met them, I need to get good feedback from at least 3 sources I trust to make the decision to rank them in this category.
Okay, so now that you know how I rank the list, let’s get to it! Read more
LOGISTICS – Planning The Lay
August 18, 2008 by AFCAdam
Filed under AFCAdam, Articles, Guest Authors
(Get more from AFCAdam at AttractionExplained.com)
In the past few months I’ve been so busy writing articles for other companies and people that I rarely get the time to write about any of my own thoughts and ideas. I’ve always been a massive fan of the game, as I’m sure many of you out there are. The thing I’ve personally always enjoyed the most about it however, is Innovating.
When I was first discovered by the community as a whole it was based on the fact that a lot of my concepts were actually different from a lot of the current stuff out there, and they where also backed up by as many psychological studies as I could possibly find to support my arguments. Since then a lot of my ideas have been built upon and developed by the community. Over the years I’m glad to see they’re actively being used by people all across the world. Something I would never have dared dream was actually possible.
Despite all the work I’ve been doing I still haven’t stopped developing new ideas and theories and researching into the practical explanations and studies to support these ideas.
I’ve never been one to keep my work to myself and then sell them in some high priced product, I much prefer to get them down on paper and share them with the people who will actually use them, namely those reading this very article. I’m now actively taking the time to jot down some of my new theories and revisiting the old ones in a bunch of articles I plan on releasing on this site, after Thundercat kindly gave me permission to do so.
I’m hoping these will be topics little covered in the community to date. They will all be designed to be as explanatory as possible and to be practical things you can use straight away to get results asap. I hope you enjoy reading them as much as I enjoy researching and writing them. So without further fluff here’s the first one and it’s all about logistics… Read more
My Secret Identity — The Dichotomy of a PUA
February 4, 2004 by Thundercat
Filed under Rants & Reviews
**Reposted from the first Lair, original date: 12/24/03
Growing up, I used to collect comic books. I was pretty hard core about it too. I started when I lived in Germany and it was the only American thing my family had available for kids, and its a trend I continued until high school. I eventually stopped because I was spending upwards of $200 a week on comic books. Seriously, I was addicted. All the money I had went to owning that shit. My parents had to orchestrate an intervention to break me of this habit. I probably have a good $3,000 worth of comics packed away in our basement somewhere.
The funny thing is, the heroes in those comics always had a secret identity. You could break it down to who they really were, and their super-hero persona. In fact, many stories often dealt with how these heroes would cope with their secret identities and who, in fact, they really were. I find it a very similar parallel to where I currently am in my life and my development as a Pick-Up Artist.
There are situations I’ve been in since I’ve been home where I’ve found myself wanting to sarge a girl, but in a way I feel like I either can’t or shouldn’t do it because I’m with my family. The problem with family is that much of the time, they will not understand why you are doing what you are doing. At least for me, who comes from a fairly conservative, catholic family, my parents would at the very least be puzzled and at the very worst, shocked, at what I was up to most of the time. Not only that, but my younger brothers (who’ve never had the problems getting women that I’ve had to face) would be very judgmental about it. In a way, if I revealed to them this aspect of my life, I’d be putting myself at a disadvantage because I’d be opening myself up to judgment by my family.
Obviously, what they think of me doesn’t really matter. However, it would affect the interactions I’d have with them in the future, especially if they think I’m not very good at this whole “pick-up” thing. The best time to reveal this aspect of my life would obviously be with a beautiful fiancee on my arm, but I don’t expect that to happen for a very loooooong time, if ever.
So up to that point, I’m stuck living a double life when it comes to my family and AFC friends. This community is a saving grace in a way, because I now have a network of guys who I can not only talk about this stuff with, but also who understand where I am coming from. Its a valuable asset, and one I’m quite grateful for.
I know a lot of guys like Papa and Swinggcat are very open with their families about what they do, but I just don’t feel comfortable telling my mom that I’ve devoted a great deal of my life to learning how to get laid by any girl I want, including 3-somes and strippers and any other variety of girl. She’d have a fit. This is the same woman who forbade me to date until I was 16. Can you imagine letting it slip that I’ve frolicked through Vegas with a group of strippers trying to score some drugs so we could party down in my hotel room? Yikes.
I’m interested in how people handle this. I know that if you’re congruent with it, it doesn’t matter, but there’s still that nagging reservation about revealing my secret identity to others. Its a rather sticky wicket, if you ask me.
Until that time, I guess I’ll just stay locked in the nearest phone booth.
Thundercat
The Power of the Dark Side — mASF and Shredded Souls
February 4, 2004 by Thundercat
Filed under Analysis
**Reposted from the first Lair, original date: 12/18/03
I found a post on mASF entitled “The aftermath of mASF and her shredded soul.” The post was just the right amount of melodrama to capture my interest, so I decided to check it out. It was put up by a guy called Acolyte and goes as follows:
Topic:
The aftermath of mASF and her shredded soul. (1 of 17), Read 562 times
Conf: >> General
From: arby_acolyte ratty1@webmail.co.za
Date: Tuesday, December 16, 2003 03:19 AMI hurt a girl today. Her heart is shattered into a million pieces.
Because of me. Entirely. And I have no excuse.
Does this feel good? No.
The stuff on this site is powerful. Very little is mentioned here on the emotional effect we’re having on our targets – sure, we’re creating and amping attraction etc…. ..but no thought is given to the resulting ATTACHMENT that our ‘targets’ begin to feel.
Guys, for the sake of your Karma (if you believe in that kinda thing), use this info wisely. Its not a toy.
I understand how/why she feels as she does and, if she doesn’t commit suicide, she’ll recover… ..and heed this: She’s NOT a psycho, just regular LSE.
Such is the power we have on mASF.
Acolyte.
PS. I’ve taken this girl under my wing and I intend to help her regain her feet. I intend to do what I can to raise her Self-Esteem. Please wish her luck.______________________________
peripheral vision is often overrated
Now, this post is interesting because I am very much conflicted as to how I feel about it. On one side, I empathise with the guy. On the other hand, I can see where all the posters who are responding to him are coming from.
The thing that is easy to forget on the internet is that these girls are real people. When you read about them in cold words on your computer screen and imagine the generic woman in your head, its easy to be neutral in your assessment of where this guy went wrong and why he shouldn’t be feeling the way he does. The thing is, this girl is very real for this Acolyte guy. She’s probably someone he slept with, someone he shared something with, and someone he probably connected with on some level. And he ended up breaking her heart. Its funny, because the subculture we exist in with the studying of PUA is not very conducive to looking at women as real people, rather, they become objects of our desires and conquests. An example of this is Ellyn, who I mentioned in the post earlier. I shared a part of my life with that chick, and even though I do talk shit about her, when I was on the phone, the last thing I wanted to do was hurt her feelings, because I could HEAR the genuine emotion in her voice that she was happy to hear from me.
I think that’s the crux of the issue there. Emotion is the stongest frame there is, and it overrides all logic. That’s one of the reasons chicks are so powerful. They run on emotion, they are able to manifest it faster and more powerfully than most men can think of, and when they do, us men are swept right along into their frame (well, unless you’re jlaix, but he’s in a league all his own =)
I personally do not think its AFC for him to feel bad that this girl got hurt. But the posters in the thread are right, even if they are a bit crass in their advice. This is a natural chick response to recapture the relationship frame, by guilting the guy into helping her overcome her emotion. If this Acolyte dude persists in trying to help her get over him, she’s gonna suck him back into her reality, and eventually hurt him the way she was hurt just to salvage some of her self-esteem. I don’t think she’d do it consciously or maliciously, but I do think its very likely to go down that way. So he’s damned if he does, and damned if he doesn’t, as far as this girl is concerned.
Which brings us to an interesting moral quandary: How do you act with girls, enjoy tehir company, and protect yourself all at the same time? Do you allow yourself to become attacted and run the risk of being manipulated? Or do you keep yourself detached and never really enjoy a substancial relationship?
I prefer to look at pick-up in very Machiavellian terms. If none of you have ever read Machiavelli, I suggest picking up his book “The Prince.” Its quite a brilliant book on politics, leadership, and persuasion. (I happen to believe Machiavelli has been reincarnated as Swinggcat, but that’s another post all together =) Anyhow, the thing about Machiavelli is that he is completely amoral. His advice is designed to get you results, not make judgements about right or wrong. Whether you use the information for good or evil, that is up to the individual.
In terms of PUA, I rate my success on my happiness at the time. If I’m doing shit with a girl and I’m happy, then I’m successful. If I’m involved with a girl and I’m miserable and paranoid and insecure, I am definitely not doing something right. So I think the trick is to create a reality that is so strong that your happiness exists regardless of who you’re with, and you allow the girls you date to take part in that happiness. I base this on Zan’s philosophy. Here’s a guy who’s 9 girlfriends and ex-wife just threw him a lingerie party for his 40th birthday, and they all know each other and do not get catty or jealous. How is this possible? Simple. He never destroys that sense of beauty that is around him. That sense of happiness, that frame that he creates that sucks people in. Its always there, and it diffuses any negativity that exists around him.
The bhuddist believe that to attain enlightenment, you must kill all desire. I think to get good at PUA, and I’m talking master level here, you really do have to kill all desire when it comes to women. But at the same time, you still have to CARE for the women, otherwise you end up hurting them. I guess I’m saying you have to be desire-less but care-full (pun intended).
Its a fine line for sure, and I’m not quite sure how to attain it yet. But its something for me to think about. I hope this rant made some sort of sense. If anyone has any thoughts on this or how to go about doing this, I’d love to hear them.
Thundercat
Dear Lord, What Have I Done?
February 4, 2004 by Thundercat
Filed under Rants & Reviews
**Reposted from the first Lair, original date: 12/18/03
**Image removed
Ugh. God damn, have I fucked up. I’ve fucked up big time. I can’t believe how big I’ve fucked up. In the history of fuck-ups, this is the biggest fuck-up to ever fuck. And I am being completely serious here.
What am I talking about you ask?
Well, it all comes down to a girl (doesn’t it always?). A girl that I swore I’d never talk to again. A girl who’s been a cause of much joy and dismay in my life. A girl who I shall refer to as: Ellyn.
Now, I met Ellyn while I was in college. A buddy of mine who had graduated was living in a town about an hour outside of campus, so one weekend I went out to visit him. When I got there, Ellyn was in his apartment wearing low-hugging jeans and a Playboy tanktop, vacuuming his apartment. She was a cute girl, with Bugs-Bunny like buck teeth and just the right amount of trailer park in her to make her hot (at least by mid-west standards).
This was back when I was in AFC mode, mind you. I don’t know what I did, but for some reason, Ellyn took a liking to me. Looking back on it, I remember being quite ambivalent to her, and more than a little derisive — as in not taking any of her shit. She just wasn’t hot enough in my book to warrant being too nice.
Top that off with the fact that she was a former stripper, single mom, and a cokehead, and you got yourself a winner! But for some reason, no matter what I did, she just seemed to fall for me even more. We ended up cuddling on my buddy’s couch while watching Perversions 5, a porno I had picked up for the trip. Romantic, I know =)
Anyways, whenever I’d come back to visit my friend, she’d be sure to show up. One time she brought her kid along and I ended up playing with the little fucker, so I guess she thought she’d found the perfect man. But knowing a train wreck when I see one, I decided to stay away from this catch regardless of the boner she was able to give me.
As things go, Ellyn ended up getting in a car accident. Well, not “accident” per say. She jumped out of a moving van while coked out of her mind and ended up getting her head run over.
Yes. Her head.
Anyway, this being the 3rd (count ‘em. 3rd.) near death experience for poor Ellyn, she was miraculously able to survive and was rushed to the hospital, where she lay in a coma for upwards of 4 months with a broken jaw and brain damage. I heard the news and wished I had taken the opportunity to hit that before this unfortunate accident (no strings you know?) but also felt sorry for her and her kid.
So time passes, and suddenly, I get a call from my buddy. He informs me that right before they were set to pull Ellyn off life support, she came out of the coma. Not only that, but she suffered from amnesia. She knew who she was and all that, but didn’t remember her family, friends, or even her kid.
She did, however, remember me.
Now, this is somewhat flattering news. For some reason, I was the one guy in her life worth remembering. My ego at the time was fragile enough to melt at this fact, as crazy as it sounds. So my buddy asked if it was okay to give Ellyn my number. After this kind of news, I could hardly refuse.
So Ellyn starts calling me and we have a long distance relationship over the phone. She tells me she is healing up, the brain damage is not so bad, and that she wants to see me. So I decide “What the fuck? I’ll give her a treat.” So I travel down to her mom’s house where she’s living and meet up with her. I’m surprised to see that other than a scar on her neck, she looks EXACTLY the same as she did before. I was expecting the fucking Mask when I appeared, but this wasn’t so bad. She still had the cute Bugs Bunny smile and blonde hair which I’m a sucker for. She did gain a bit of weight at the hospital, but nothing too bad.
So I do what any normal, healthy, college male would do with a chick who’s totally into him. I took her out for a nice dinner and got her shit-faced drunk. We end up going at it in the back seat of my car outside of Denny’s at 3 in the morning. No intercourse for some reason (which I’ll discover later), but I had fun regardless.
So the next couple months we are sort-of “seeing” each other. But it gets to the point where I can’t fucking stand this girl. See, the thing about Ellyn is that she is the quintessential DRAMA QUEEN! She needs drama in her life, and if it isn’t there, she will create it. Not only that, but the girl was so emotionally fucked up, that she needed guys to get angry with her to get sexually aroused (conditioning, anyone?). However, I was a nice guy who didn’t really give a shit about her, so I never fell for her tricks to bait me into anger, though I probably could have had a lot more sex if I had.
I learned a lot from Ellyn, mostly about women and drama. It’s fascinating to me to look back and analyze the adventures and fights we had together. But the fact of the matter is the girl is annoying as SHIT and I couldn’t put up with her, but I was too nice to just dump this poor girl. After all, I was the only thing she remembered after GETTING HER HEAD RUN OVER!
So I break it off gently, remain friends, and move out to California. She’d call me occasionally to tell me she got engaged (ended in divorce, of course). Then she starts emailing me all the time. Finally, I can’t take it anymore, and I send her this email in response to one she sent me:
Hey brat,
>how are you doing? me?
How am I doing you??? OMG, that’s so forward. I mean, who’s face you picture when you masterbate is your own business, but if you want to fantasize about it, I guess I could be doing you doggie style. I’m flexible like that.
>how is work going for you?
I dunno. It sure is a lot of work doing you doggie style. I got lots of stamina, but you are totally wearing me out. Where’s my viagra?
>guess what? next week i am going to arizona.
Arizona is cool. Beware the rattlesnakes.
>my aunt is in this week from arizona along with my grandparents from XXXX, and then next week i am going to my aunt’s house in XXXX. i am so excited. i can’t wait.
Yes, it does a body good to get away from the East Coast.
>my aunt, my mom, my brother and i went to karaoke last nigt and i had a ball.
So what sounded like a cat dying a slow painful death was really just you singing? Man, you better just stick to doggie style, its what you’re good at.
>they wouldn’t let me drink because the doctors said that i am not suppose to but i still had a blast.
You drink like a fish, and much more fun drunk than sober. What do doctors know anyway?
>it was probably the most fun i have ever had sober…
Except that time you banged those four midgets in the back of that truck. I still have the video. =P
>this week i am in XXXXXXX until saturday (that is when i go home to XXXXXXX) and then on tuesday i leave for arizona.
Yay! Hope your plane doesn’t crash in a fireball of molten steel.
>my aunt said that she would take me to mexico and possibly california.
South of the boarder, eh? She’s not going to turn you into a mule and make you smuggle drugs across the boarder is she? I hear you have to shove those things up your ass to get them past customs. How many of those can you fit up your butt? Better start practicing.
>she also said that she is going to take me to this prison (knowing that i used to be a correctional officer)
Only if you get caught with the drugs up the butt. Try not eating any ruffage so you don’t have to poo. Then she’s got nothing on you and you can totally stay out of jail.
>because it is one of the oldest prisons in the country. i can’t wait.
I hear prison changes a man. But since you’re a woman, I guess that doesn’t matter. Women in prison have it easy, they just have lots of sex and walk around naked. At least that’s what Cinemax tells me, and TV wouldn’t lie… would it???
>with your work, do you get out much?
Every night.
>have you met a good many friends or acquaitances?
Tons.
>have you talked to XXX or XXXXXXX? how are they?
Yes. Both are doing very good.
>i really do hope that life is treating to grand.
Only when I’m doing it doggie style.
>i really hope to hear from you soon.
Was this soon enough?
>well i will talk to you soon.
I don’t wanna talk to you until you break your sex addiction. You really have to stop fantasizing about me like that. I’m more than just a sausage with feet, okay? I’m a human being and I don’t appreciate being objectified as a sex object, so you better quit that right now, missy! Don’t make me get a restraining order, now. =)
luv & kisses
Thundercat
Okay, obviously I was being a dick. In fact, I was doing so many things in that email to berate her and play on her insecurities, I was positive that it would be the last I would ever hear from this crazy, fucked up girl again!
And it was!
At least until tonight. I was going to call a friend and I hit the wrong number in my address book on my phone and guess who I call?
Ellyn.
She picks up the phone and knows it’s me because of her caller ID. She is so fucking excited to hear from me, it’s heartbreaking. She’s even telling her mom I’ve finally called. I, of course, am shocked that I actually hit her number our of all the ones in my fucking phone. She picks up on this and asks if I meant to call her, to which I lie through my teeth.
“Oh, uh, yeah baby. I want to call to tell you… uh, I’d be in DC for Christmas.”
It was the only thing I could think to say, and I knew instantly it was a mistake (mostly because it was the truth). Ellyn is in Maryland, and its close enough to drive to. So she starts getting all hopped up, telling me she’s been really good and not doing any drugs or alcohol. Her divorce to her second husband is final, and the court had taken away her kid in favor of his father so she doesn’t have any of the matriarchal duties she had before. Not only that, but she’s going back to school to learn, of all things, LABOTOMY. I’m not joking.
So I tease her about being a brain surgeon with brain damage, and she says that it’s only one class a semester so it should be easy. I remind her it’s a course on LABOTOMY, but it doesn’t compute. Oh well.
So she brings up the e-mail and I tell her I was just fucking with her. Then she says:
Her: So you’ll be in DC?
Me: Yeah.
Her: Would you like to see me? I’d really like to see you.
Me: Maybe.
Her: I’ll pay for the hotel room.
So what she just said sinks in, and the governor (I call him the “governor”) stands at attention. An open invite for sex! What boner can resist? Even if it is from a crazy girl from my college days, it is inviting. Though she has informed me that she’s around 180 lbs now but it doesn’t look like she weighs that much. Oh, and she has genital warts (hence the constant LMR in our relationship).
Still, the invite is appealing. I’ll have to do a bit or research on Genital Warts, but this fat, brain damaged, ex-stripper could totally, totally be mine. And knowing what I know now, I could get her to do anything I want.
Anything.
But I am a bit conflicted. I know that I do not love or even respect this girl very much, which is probably the reason she finds me so attractive. But it would be nice to go home for Christmas with some guaranteed poon waiting, even if it is a bit diseased.
What do you guys think?
Thundercat
The Social Circle of Life
February 4, 2004 by Thundercat
Filed under Articles, Tips & Tricks
**Reposted from the first Lair, original date: 12/16/03
Okay all you AFCs,
Here is a copy of my most recent article from Cliff’s List on Social Circles. Aside from the gay title, I think its pretty good. I’m still looking for my article on walk-ups. When I find that, I’ll post it.
Ho!
Thundercat
******************************************************
The Social Circle Of Life
How to Create the Best Possible Environment for Getting Laid
An Essay by Tundercat
I’ll be the first to admit it. I’m a nerd. I like to watch TV, go to movies, read books, play on my computer, and even partake in the occasional MMORPG. But when I’m not waxing philosophical about who could kick who’s ass — Kirk or Han Solo — I’m out trying to pick up chicks.
The thing is, what I do is cold approaches. Cold Approaches are basically approaches where you approach a woman you do not know in the hopes of attracting her so you can lay her. Without a doubt, this is probably the hardest form of Pick-Up there is. Why? Well, for one thing, the Fear Factor on cold approaches is the highest. They don’t know you, you don’t know them, and the risk of getting rejected is high. This is one of the reasons many people cannot do cold approaches. It is just much too scary.
But the reason I do them is because I currently have no better option available to me. If I don’t cold approach a girl, I won’t meet any. But a funny thing happens if you cold approach enough girls. You become friends with them!
As strange as it sounds, it is true. Though the average Pick-Up Artist (PUA) is not looking to make friends with the girls he approaches, odds are if they like you enough to fuck you, you will become friends. And even if they don’t want to fuck you, the least they are willing to become is a friend because they enjoy your company enough.
This is a funny little side effect to approaching, and because of it, my eyes were opened to something. It’s a dirty little secret, yet one that is so obvious I am surprised that I did not see it before. Are you ready? Okay, here it is:
Most people get laid from their social circles.
This is a fact, my friends. Sure, cold approaching can lead to the occasional one night stand (ONS), or even a same day lay that blossoms into a relationship. But very rarely does this happen. In fact, it happens so rarely, that I really rate my approach success based on the quality of numbers I get. I say quality because anyone can get a number, but a number from a girl who actually gives you her REAL number and will actually RETURN your phone call is so much more important than the quantity of numbers one receives.
But of all the guys I hang around with who get laid, the ones who do so with the most frequency are those with large social circles that include women in them. For instance, I have a friend who is going to college. He belongs to a number of groups: Martial Arts, Role Playing, Historical Reenactment, etc. And he gets laid. He gets laid a LOT. Probably more than most PUAs, and DEFINITELY more than me. The funny thing is, this guy DOES NOT APPROACH! In fact, he’s just as scared at approaching women as 90% of the guys reading mASF (moderate Alt Seduction Fast) are.
When I noticed this, I took a good look at the guys I know who are getting laid frequently, and sure enough, there was the proof. They were all getting laid from either girls they already knew, or met through friends, family, or some type of hobby.
This is an incredible revelation for me because social circles have always been the primary dipping source for men I knew were getting laid. Back in my AFC (Average Frustrated Chump) days, I’d only hang out with my guy friends, who weren’t getting laid either. I’d do solitary activities, play on the computer, and take part in social activities that were typically heavily attended by males. In short, my social circle did not include women, and because of that, I did not get laid.
As my awareness of women grows, along with my seduction skills, I am beginning to realize that being a PUA is not just about getting laid, but cultivating a social circle conducive to interacting with women ON A DAILY BASIS.
Most of the men I have met who are not getting laid or who are struggling to get laid are the ones whose social circles are almost completely empty of women, and the women who do encompass their social circles do not interact with them regularly.
A scary truth about guys not getting laid is that they are not comfortable talking to women. Sometimes, I STILL do not feel comfortable talking to women. And this can show in your sarging (interacting with women with the intent of laying them). I am willing to bet that most guys who cannot talk to or approach women do not have many female friends in their social circles. And if they do, the girls are friends they would like to fuck. They do not know what it is like to truly be friends with a girl they do not want to sex up, and because of that, there is always a feeling of comfortableness just below the surface of their interaction with girls, which the girls can pick up on and which completely throws off the guy’s state.
So the trick is to expand your social circle so it becomes something that is conducive to getting you laid.
The fact is, a female friend is the most powerful tool you have in your seduction arsenal, especially if she is attractive. Approaching other women with another woman who can social proof you and talk you up is probably the single most invaluable trick there is to approaching. When you have a female with you who is actively working to HELP you get laid, chances are it will happen, and more quickly than if you were acting on your own. Not only that, but the girl will also have friends that she will try to hook you up with if you demonstrate youв’re cool enough to be her friend. Through these girls, you will find your comfort around women increase, along with you success rate.
So how do you do this? Well, the first step is to befriend a girl. How is this done? Well, most AFCs (Average Frustrated Chumps) have had a lot of experience with the “Let’s Just Be Friends” area of life. But this is not the same thing. The fact is, with the “Let’s Just Be Friends” stigma, you are not really the girl’s friend because you still want to fuck her and she knows it.
The best way I know how to expand your social circle is to befriend other GUYS who are good with women. Not the type of guys who use women and throw them away, but the type of guys who are fun and always surrounded by girls. You befriend this guy, and he will introduce you to the girls who surround them. You can meet these guys anywhere, and it’s much easier to approach and make friends with men because there is no sexual tension there. You guys can connect on basic male subjects such as sports, women, business, etc. If nothing else, you may make a new valuable male friend out of the deal.
You can meet these guys anywhere you go, be it a club, bar, museum, concert, etc. It doesn’t matter. You will meet them doing stuff you like to do. Most guys will go for the girls right away, but if you befriend the guy who is IN with the girls, he will help you to get them.
Once in with the guys, its time to move onto the girls. Have him introduce you. Tell the girls how good of a friend he is. Show them that you’re a cool guy. Become their friends. The cooler the guy you befriend, the hotter the women he knows. The hotter the women he knows, the better quality of women they will introduce you to.
The next step will take a bit of willpower on your part, but you want to actually BEFRIEND the girl with the knowledge that you are not going to sleep with her. No matter how hot she is, you must take her out of the “I wanna FUCK!” category. This is crucial because if you go after her for the full monty (fuck), you could screw up the friendship.
But once she’s your friend, you can practice on her. Talk to her, call her up and bullshit, go out with her, let her feel safe and comfortable around you. Once she’s your buddy, get her to introduce you to her friends. Those are the ones you game on. This is because you’ll be at an advantage with them. Not only will you have a girl who is their friend hyping you up, but you’ll also be social proofed by the guy you befriended, who has also probably met the girl you’re being introduced to. Right there is instant social proof that you’re cool enough to hang with them. Then its time to game the girl, which should be easier than cold approaching because the meeting is inherent.
But when it comes to cold approaching, the women you befriend become even more powerful. This is where the real fun can happen. You can use your female friends to approach other groups of people. You can introduce her to the men while she does the same for you with the women. Not only that, its natural social proof when you’re with a girl, and you feel more comfortable talking to women, which makes you more attractive.
In fact, this is so powerful that I know PUAs who’s entire game is based on Social Circles. A woman you use to help you get laid is often referred to as a “Pivot” or a “Pawn.” They are used as pieces on a chessboard to break down defenses and open doorways to score checkmate. One guy I know is SO effective with the girls in his social circle, that if there is a guy trying to get with a female friend of his, he will actually get the guy to pull him other chicks before he social proofs the guy with his friend. This is another great tactic, especially if you’re lazy about approaching. In this situation, not only are his pivots pulling other girls for him, but the guys after his pivots are as well. And in the end, all you’re getting is a bigger social circle which will make it easier to get laid.
It is very easy to befriend women, because when you make it clear you do not want to have sex with them, they can feel safe with you and allow you to “mess up” around them in practicing your PUA skills. Not only that, but being around women will teach you SO MUCH about pick-up, your game will rapidly increase.
In his book Real World Seduction, Swinggcat says “If you want to get good at picking-up women, surround yourself by five beautiful women who are good at getting guys.” This is important, because all the best PUAs just act like really hot chicks. They steal the chick frame that gets guys all into them and turn it around on the girls. The more you hang out with women, the more you will begin to incorporate this mindset into your seduction repertoire.
So friends, I recommend you go out there and start getting to know more girls in a non-sexual way. They will help you a great deal in adding some notches to your belt. I hope to expand my social circle massively in the coming future, so that I may also reap the benefits of having many lady friends.
Thundercat
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