How To Get Girls Who Are A “10″

October 15, 2011 by  
Filed under Tips & Tricks, Video

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Here’s some advice from Dan & Jennifer about how to pick up super-attractive women.

Five Methods For Kicking Negative People Out Of Your Life

October 14, 2011 by  
Filed under Articles

Dan & Jennifer have a good article up on their blog about 5 techniques you can use to banish people from your life who keep you down and spread negativity like a cancer.  Check it out…

Negative “energy vampires” are not living a life full of happiness and success, yet they will happily drag you down to their level unless you escape their clutches before it is too late!

Use these 5 basic guidelines as an outline that will help to safeguard you from negativity, and will also help you to identify negative people so that you can remove yourself from their sphere of influence.

Once you have internalized not practicing the following unsuccessful habits, you will suddenly start noticing people in your life who consistently practice them on an almost daily basis.

1. No Gossiping

It doesn’t matter how justified you think you are in talking about other people’s perceived shortcomings, doing so will never serve to bring about positive results.

When people do things that you don’t agree with or that you don’t understand, all that demonstrates is that they do not see life in the same way that you see it. It doesn’t it make them a bad person, it just means that their understanding of any given situation is different than yours.

Granted, in many circumstances it may seem painfully obvious that someone could have handled a situation in a more positive manner. However, even if that is the case, rehashing the details with other people will only perpetuate the negativity.

In addition, many people thrive on discourse and chaos, so by participating in negative discussions about others, all you are doing is indirectly giving people permission to continue adding fuel to that fire. When you are seen as a “negative fuel source,” you will invariably find that people will continue stopping by to get a fill-up!

2. No Whining or Complaining

Let me ask you this: Does whining or complaining about any given situation actually do anyone any good whatsoever?

I’m not talking about constructive criticism, learning from our mistakes, or recognizing pitfalls so that we can avoid them in the future. No, I’m talking about when a situation is already clearly less than desirable, yet you continue to talk about how undesirable it is!

When the office thermostat is broken and it is cold as a deep-freeze in your building, will anything be gained by continuing to repeat the obvious? If your spouse or significant other is being (in your opinion) unreasonable, are you going to gain anything by constantly spouting off about how upset you are about the situation?

Complaining accomplishes absolutely nothing other than drawing attention to an already less than favorable set of circumstances. If something is worth complaining about, then it is also worth taking action on. Stop whining, and start taking action, because if you don’t, all of the whiners and complainers will crowd around you in order to get their negativity fix.

3. No Co-Dependency

All of us have friends, family members, or co-workers who bring real-world negative issues to us, and ask for our input. Sometimes they are looking for advice, while other times they just want to “vent”.

In either case, however, pumping up their already negative point of view by agreeing how terrible any given situation is will only serve to cement in their minds how terrible that situation is! In addition, you will be sending them the clear signal that you are willing to be a sounding board for their complaints in the future.

Rather than rallying the forces of negativity in order to combat someone’s issues, instead just provide for them a calming, reassuring voice of reason when their lives are in turmoil. Don’t turn your back on them, but don’t fuel their point of view that they are the “victim” either.

Instead, listen with a compassionate ear while keeping your own feelings in check. You will do them much more of a service by helping them to find a positive spin on their situation rather than becoming a participant in their negativity.

4. No Cross Contamination

It is impossible to swim in a river full of muddy water, yet still be able to get out of that river without a speck of dirt on you. The only way to avoid that dirt – or that negativity – is to refuse to take a dip into that river in the first place.

From an emotional standpoint, it is not possible for you to participate in negativity, and then go back into your positive bubble without dragging some of that negativity in with you.

Most people would say that it is not possible for them to completely avoid negativity, and I would tend to agree. However, just because you are physically present in a situation does not mean that you need to actually participate on an emotional level.

You can be involved in a discussion or in the resolution of a negative situation without allowing your own emotional set point to drop down to a less-than positive level. When life throws negativity at you, stay in the game, but practice equanimity in order to handle the situation without allowing the negative vibrations to affect you on an individual level.

5. No Being “Holier than Thou”

After finding all of these great ways to recognize and avoid negativity, it becomes very easy to think that you are somehow “different” than everyone else. You start to feel “enlightened” and you recognize how a large number of the people in your life are on planes, trains, and automobiles that are all headed in the wrong direction.

Here’s a clue: get a grip on yourself! You are no better, nor any worse than any of those people. Those people are neither better, nor any worse than you.

The only difference between the “enlightened” you and the people who practice negativity is that you see things from a different point of view than they do. It is not appropriate for you to try to force your way of thinking onto those people, and in most cases it is also quite impossible.

By running around life with an attitude that you are somehow better than other people, all you will do is serve to alienate most of the people around you. Then, before you know it, other “holier than thou” individuals will start to flock to your side. Then all you will have accomplished is serving to divide your circle of influence into people who live on the “right” or the “wrong” side of the tracks – from your point of view.

Conclusion: By following guidelines similar to the methods that you just read, and by  practicing the fine art of being positive, you will begin to enjoy your life and consciously create it to be whatever it is that you want it to be.

That’s the prize.

However, be advised that these success habits are just that – habits. Only practicing them when it is convenient for you to do so will only bring about positive results in small doses. Consistency is key.

Also, be prepared to burn some bridges in the process. Right now in your life there are probably people who will fade away completely when they realize that you will not be participating in their drama anymore.

The ladder of success is never crowded at the top!

These are some good tips to keep you feeling positive and focused on positivity.  If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that being positive is an incredibly attractive trait in any person, and you can’t go wrong with filling your life with good, positive habits!

Overcoming Bad Feelings About Women

September 10, 2011 by  
Filed under Analysis

Don Kanonji over on the Attraction Forums has an interesting question concerning frame control and inner game, when it has to do with dealing with rejection from women.

Don Kanonji writes:

Hate For Women

Constant Rejection Making You Hate Women?

I’m pretty sure this happens/happened to everyone: Guy founds the community, goes out and tries some approaches only to be rejected dozens of times in a row.Guy becomes the mysoginist of the century and thinks all girls are a bunch of useless cunts who only care about rich and famous dudes.

For me and after a few years of a fucked up life I’m trying desperately to learn how to love myself and when some random girl just looks at me like I’m some kind of freak she basically reminds me of how much I need to change everything about myself.

How the f*** I’m supposed to like me the way I am, if I need to change EVERYTHING about me ?!

Well, I’m currently trying the best I can to get rid of this disease but sometimes I wonder if I need game or professional help.

What kind of things you say to yourself in these kind of situations?

I refuse to give up, but sometimes i feel like my head is about to explode

I feel your pain, Don.  This is probably the most common thing that pops up when going out and trying to pick up girls.  I know that when I first started pick-up, I had a LOT of issues to deal with in this regard.  I mean, its easy to become resentful of women when you want them so badly, yet you feel they all will reject you.  I think that’s just human nature, to despise that which we can’t have, and therefore make it seem like we don’t want it.

But let’s face it, we all want to be loved.  We want to feel like we’re a person of value to someone else.  And if you’re dealing with inner game issues, and are insecure about who you are, those rejections you collect when you go out to practice pick-up is… well, counterproductive!

Here’s the real problem though, and its solution… Read more

Places You Don’t Feel Comfortable Picking Up Chicks At…

September 8, 2011 by  
Filed under Tips & Tricks

Triple S over at the Attraction Forums asks the question:  Are there places you don’t feel comfortable picking up women at?

Triple S writes:

So I was wondering if there are places where you don’t feel comfortable sarging at? For me, it’s the subway. If you’ve never been to Montreal, our subway is old, noisy and underground. During rush hours, it’s jam-packed and everyone is squeezed in. I take it everyday to go to and come back from work. I know a bit about public transportation game from what I read here, but yet, I never feel like doing an approach. Is it because of AA? Maybe a little, but more than that, it’s just that I don’t feel the environement is adequate. I mean first of all, most of the people have headphones on. I’d guess about 95 % of people take the subway with music, in the other 5 %, 3 % are talking to someone, 1.5 % are reading a book or a paper and the other 0.5 % have nothing.

I tried an approach once and got shut down pretty quickly but that’s not what discouraged me. I sometimes wish I could, and it could definately be something that I could work on, but I just feel like it wouldn’t be a place where people like to be approached. I guess if you meet someone on the platform, that’s another story, but on the actual subway itself? I just don’t feel it, even though I wish I did because there are tons of pretty girls.

How about you? Any places like that where you just don’t feel right?

Well, to be fair, there are TONS of places you can try and pick up chicks at that will make you feel uncomfortable.  Heck, pretty much ANY place can make you feel uncomfortable if the circumstances for chatting up a girl are wrong.  But pick up is always about pushing yourself outside your “comfort zone” and going after what you want, even if you are uncomfortable doing it.

I can understand how trying to pick up a girl on a crowded subway would intimidate anyone.  But you need to tailor your pick-up to the situation.  A high-energy style pick-up on a crowded subway car probably isn’t the right method, especially considering girls on the subway are probably very wary of “wierdos.”

But whether its a subway car, a bus stop, a movie theater, a funeral, or any number of other strange venues, there is ALWAYS a way to pick up a girl.  You just have to know what is.  I happen to think that the more awkward or uncomfortable the venue, the better it is to try the indirect approach to meeting a girl rather than anything too direct.

Cajun – Advanced Body Language

August 26, 2010 by  
Filed under Articles, Cajun, Guest Authors

Whenever students ask me how I learned to attract women with such ease I always say the same thing: Body language. I then recite a quote, something that was told to me a long time ago:

Everything you’ll ever need to learn about women, you can learn from Rock n roll.

A very wise man once told me this and I’m sure most of my students are just as confused as I was when I first heard it, but now several years (and many women) later I can whole-heartedly agree, it’s absolutely true.

One of the by-products of committing yourself to the study of attraction and how it works is that you start noticing things that you never noticed before. A lot of us instructors refer to this as ‘seeing the matrix’ and it basically amounts to identifying and understanding the cause and effect of the most subtle communications; body language . It becomes somewhat of a sixth sense and it’s exceptionally difficult to turn off, especially if you’re at all an analytical person (and let’s face it, you kind of have to be if you want to get good at this stuff) This is why us instructors are so proficient at breaking down what students did right or wrong in a set simply by casually observing them. We can see the matrix.

I realized a long time ago that the secret to attraction isn’t in what you say, it’s in how you carry yourself; your presence, something controlled almost entirely by your body language . I knew that if I was to master the art of attraction, I would need to master the art of body language . Remembering the words of wisdom I had been told all those years ago, I turned to rock n roll.

I began sifting through literally hundreds of videos documenting performances of the most prolific and sexually charged rock icons in music history. I used my ‘sixth sense’ to meticulously analyze every thing they did. I studied how they walked, how they danced, their facial expressions, even how they stood still! I started to notice a pattern, there were three qualities that nearly every sex symbol in the history of rock n roll all had in common, and it had nothing to do with their music or looks.

The first quality I recognized was immediate; sexual presence. Most of the musicians elicited this through their dancing, which wasn’t that useful since I obviously couldn’t be dancing all the time. The absolute best example of sexual presence I could find was Jim Morrison simply because he elicited tremendous sexual presence by doing very little. I hadn’t watched any videos of him performing since I was a teenager and seeing it again with my ‘sixth sense’ absolutely blew my mind. He moved slowly, purposefully, as if to poeticize his presence. Everything seemed so calculated. After referencing what he did with a number of other sexual icons, I quickly made a list:

Advanced body language – Sexual Presence

1. Less is more.

  • Move only when you need to, and react with delay.
  • Slow down your movements, as if moving underwater.
  • Movement should be bold, sporadic and purposeful.

2. Poeticize your presence.

  • Absolutely believe that you are a spectacle to be witnessed.
  • Draw attention to your every move with strong eye contact, and delayed responses.
  • Always appear physically more comfortable than anyone else in the group. Lean back when standing, angle back and drape your arms when sitting.
  • Your demeanor should be carefree, content; you do not want or need anything.

3. Emphasize your sexuality

  • Relax your eyes. Look at Jim Morrison, Phil Lynott or even Marilyn Monroe, their eyes all carry the same look, model it.
  • Slightly Purse your lips, as if you’re about to kiss them.
  • Slightly tilt your head up and look down when speaking.
  • Slowly study women’s faces during interaction, glance at lips periodically.
  • Keep an inquisitory look of mild arousal on your face.

I began modeling my body language based on this list and the results were epic. This is the reason I stopped using routines , I no longer needed them. Everything they communicated I could now communicate with my body. Even openers started to become unnecessary as women were now opening ME more than ever, based simply on the way I stood and the look on my face. Attraction went from slowly earned to instantaneous, but there were still some gaps…

The hottest women, although attracted, would still shit test me. Not only that, but AMOGs started to become more of a problem as I was now getting a tremendous amount of female attention. This is where the second quality I found amongst sexual rock icons came in handy, and allowed me to smoothly and effortlessly diffuse any shit test or amog attempt that was thrown at me.

Stay tuned for part 2 of the article where I go over the second quality: Restraint.

Love Systems: Overcoming Sticking Points

February 26, 2010 by  
Filed under Articles

Here’s a great article on overcoming your sticking points by Love Systems Instructor Sheriff:

Sheriff writes:

I’m going to add something here, that you should do EVERY SINGLE MONTH, at least, maybe every week.

I still get value from this exercise, and it takes very little time. However, just knowing this exercise won’t help, you have to actually DO IT.

Take one piece of A4. At the top write “I see a hot girl”. At the bottom write: “we start having sex” (or “she says ‘I do’”, or whatever your actual outcome is).

Then fill in a plausible and detailed explanation of how you got from seeing this chick to being balls deep. Whenever you get to a point where you’re not sure what to write, you’ve found a sticking point.

For the VAST majority of guys I’ve met, this will be:

“I see a hot girl. I go and run some opinion opener from the internet on her. Then, uh.. um. Maybe I tease her? Uh, and, uh.”

BANG. Sticking point identified. Do some research at this point. What comes next? Post a question to the forum. Ask someone what should happen next.

You don’t need to work out the best thing to say – you’re not looking for lines to memorize, and you’re not looking for some kind of magical routine – it’ll never go down the way you’ve planned it anyway. You’re looking for an understanding of a plausible next step. Don’t accept answers like “Then you be an alpha male and she fucks you” – not good enough. Ask for specific sample dialogue. Don’t try and replicate those, don’t try and parrot that shit off, but use them to get an understanding of what and why happens next.

As my own example, the first time I did this, I got to: “we’re making out in the club”, and I was like WTF happens next? So I asked a natural buddy, and he said: “Last time I just told the girl I’d make her a cocktail back at mine”.

What did I do? I went out and spent a far too much money on cocktail alcohol and equipment. Next time I went out, I was making out with this girl, and was like: “So, uh, do you want a cocktail back at mine?”. Answer: “No”. DOH! Asked for more advice on this, was told to make the bounce home gentler and less obvious … and with time, got that shit sorted. Learning how to bounce was a massive sticking point for me, and I hadn’t even realised it – once I had that sorted, I started having a one-night stand. The point being: you won’t get this stuff right first time, but a plausible idea of how to go about it is crucial

Do I use some long-winded and complicated extraction technique now? No, of course not. Now I instinctively know how to bounce, instinctively know the subtleties, and tend to just say: “ok, we’re out of here!”. But the identification of the sticking point through the above exercise (and subsequent ones), the focus on actually closing and getting from A to B is what started accelerating my game.

Key points:

  • Write personal, detailed, and fictional descriptions of how you went from seeing a girl to fucking her to help you get the process straight in your head, and identify your weak points
  • Ask for advice any time you find yourself having trouble writing plausible dialogue or action sequences
  • The point isn’t to prescript the interaction, the point is to identify your sticking points in getting from A to B – it won’t ever go down the way you planned anyway
  • Don’t accept wishy-washy advice that doesn’t come with plausible detailed examples

Hope this helps – just reading it won’t though – actually TRY IT.

To find out more on overcoming sticking points, check out the Love Systems Sticking Points Interview.

Good stuff.  If you’re dealing with sticking points, dealing with them can greatly improve your game.

Feminator Returns

February 4, 2004 by  
Filed under Drama & Rumors

**Reposted from the first Lair, original date: 12/22/03

We all have our favorite loonies that post on mASF.  I know Tyler is fond of one dude in particular, and Stevie PUA has his personal fav.  Mine is FEMINATOR.  His massive need for qualification and aspirations for guru-hood in a community that accounts for less than 0.0000000001% of the population is nothing short of entertaining.  Recently, he took a bit of a powder after his last $$$$$$ post broke the camel’s back and caused a number of flames pointed his way (I mean honestly, the signal to noise ratio was just too high).  Anyway, his absence was noticed, leading to posts such as this one by zane:

Topic: Where did FERMINATOR go? (1 of 1), Read 131 times
Conf: >> General
From: zane
Date: Monday, December 22, 2003 12:25 PM

WTF happened to all that MONEY shit from Ferminator???

IS he still ,alive??

But apparently, he spoke too soon, because FEMINATOR is back, with a vengeance.  Here’s his latest $$$$$$$ post for your enjoyment:

Topic: FEMINATOR IS BACK! MALL’S ARE MONEY (1 of 13), Read 417 times
Conf: >> General
From: feminator 15081978@bluewin.ch
Date: Sunday, December 21, 2003 05:45 PM

After clubbing a lot for many years i realized, that clubs are not a good place for meeting top quality women, because they have always the whole defense up.

-Bitch shields (because they expect it)
-Anti slut defense (because of other people, they know)
-Girlfriends (girlscode, drag away)
-AMOGS and BF

Other important facts are …

-Bad chick ratio
-Not every chick goes to the clubs.
-Too many man
-Drugs, alcohol etc.
-Drinks and clubs are not cheap
-Loud music
-At fuck close time, it’s often already 4-6 AM
-Chicks are sometimes also tired in clubs and therefore you can’t game them, especially on Friday.

I also realized, that in clubs are not a lot of possibilities to do interesting things, except sarging.

For somebody, who doesn’t drink, smoke, take drugs or dance, the clubs are a boring place…

Sarging remains the only reason for going to clubs…

Of course it’s possible to game them in clubs, but i found a far better place to find much more and better chicks.

*****************************************************
**********The shopping malls are $$$**********************
*****************************************************

-Good chick ratio. Every chick goes to the malls…

-Chicks are often isolated in shopping malls, therefore no bitch shields or ASD.

-Chicks are not tired and easier to game

-Fuck close time is normally after 8 PM, when the malls close here in Zurich, instead of 4 – 6 AM, so i have more time for good sex.

-Often no negative girlscode.

-Very likely no BF or AMOGS.

-Good insta date possibilities like …
… Shopping together

Then when the malls close at 8 PM …
… Cinema is at 8.30 PM
… After work parties from 7 PM
… Lunch or dinner

My latest opener …

… I prepared a paper bag in a way, i can open the bottom and everything falls on the floor. Haha, they always help me to collect all the things.

… I also prepared a suitcase in the same way. I often put pictures of my hottest GF. When they help me collecting the picture, i tell them the story about my Ex-Girlfriend, who went to London for modelling … Hahah, they always help me to collect the pictures.

… I also create instant accident with cans, clothes etc.
For example I prepare a can tower in a way, that all the cans fall on the floor, when the HB passes. Then she feels guilty. Of course i help her then. (Not field tested)

I create a small accident with some cans and boxes. They always help me to collect the cans. (Field tested)

Then i tell them:”Do you believe in the destiny?”
HB:”Bla bla.”
FEM:”If you look back in 2 years to this day, you will realize, that just of a couple of cans, you whole live changed. My name is Feminator from ASF ;-)

I do a lot of opinion opener …

“Hey HB (‘s) i need a quick female opinion ….

It opens always. Often i add, that the saleswomen are bad girls, because they lie… Then i tell them a funny story about a really bad saleswomen. Or i ask them, if they are a saleswomen. If they say no, i say:”Very good, because i need a neutral female opinion…”

Or can you help me opener …

“Hey HB i need your help …”

“Do you know, where …”

On the shopping mall insta date, i have always a lot of fun. For example, we check out new clothes together. Then venue change to another mall (Foot in the door principle, are you adventurous enough, then cinema or bar)

In busy times i sarge the customers. In quiet times i sarge the saleswomen, which i use also next time, when it’s busy for social proof.

PS: WHEN WILL BE THE RELEASE OF TFM 2.0 ???????????????? I heard in an old post from PORNHANDLE 25.12.03.
****************************************************

If you want to read the whole thread, it can be found at:

http://www.fastseduction.com/discussion/read?120723,8

The thing I find funny about the above post that poor old FEM doesn’t seem to get — in fact, a lot of people don’t seem to get this — is that you should not be going out in the world with the specific intent to “Pick-Up.”  That’s lame.  That’s one of the reasons I laugh at SS nowadays.  Who wants to go to a coffee shop/grocery store/yoga class or whatever just to meet women?  I find that incredibly stupid.

If I’m going to a coffee shop, its to get coffee.  If I go to a grocery store, its to get groceries.  If I’m going to a yoga class (which I would never do) its to learn yoga.  And if I go to a mall, its to shop.  Any sarging to be done is strictly Targets of Opportunities.  As far as bars/clubs go, I do not SPECIFICALLY go out to bars and clubs to sarge.  I go there to have fun, and to me, part of the fun is trying to pick-up chicks — being social.

This realization came upon me when I was in Chicago and got to see Zan, Craig, and Maddash out on the town.  These guys did not go to these bars to “sarge” or “pick-up.”  They went out there to hang out together, get drunk, and have fun.  The by-product of that was picking-up on chicks.  When I have gone out and just been social, (i.e. drinking, dancing, talking, laughing, ball-busting — what have you) I have been SO MUCH MORE successful than going out with the SPECIFIC intent to sarge.

That’s something guys who are new at this don’t quite have an understanding of yet.  A lot of this comes from “inner game.”  It’s that bit about being “desire-less.”  Not wanting what you really want.  Its fucked-up, yes, but in a way its necessary to feel that way if you want to get REALLY good at it.  Its almost like saying “Just be yourself.”  The trick is, you have to first BECOME the kind of person who naturally does this, and THAT is the hard part.  That is what no in-field workshop or phone consultation or hypnosis will teach you.

I’ve spent 4 years working on my inner game, and I’m just now feeling that its at the point where I’m actually starting to change.  4 YEARS, fellas.  I’ve had to wade through a lot of deep psychological shit to get to where I am now.  We’re talking things that would have made Freud ditch coke for heroine, its so fucked-up.  But it all works out.

I’ll probably talk about this more in an article I plan on writing on Inner Game.  The more people I meet who are genuinely good at this, the more I realize it has to do with inner game and where you’re coming from.  So many people just want the next new “trick” or “method” or whatever.  Look at this Feminator guy for crying out loud.  He’s all about the gimmicks, the tricks, the routines, etc.  What he fails to understand is that all that stuff springs forth from your inner self.  I’ve seen some guys who have TONS of shit memorized, and they can do a pick-up quite well, but when it comes to Day 2, or Day 3, or even RELATIONSHIPS, they lose the chick, because they run out of material.  They don’t have their inner game congruent with their outter game.

Enough rambling.  I’ll post my inner game article here when I get done with it.

Thundercat

PS:  Just remembered, I should probably thank Swinggcat for a lot of this.  He’s very much into the whole “inner game” thing and it has been the subject of many conversations I’ve had with him.  In fact, it probably wouldn’t be on my mind as much if it wasn’t for him, even though I’ve been very much into it since my return from Las Vegas.  Maybe he’ll do something on it in an upcoming newsletter which will blow anything I write on it out of the water.  =)

My Dinner With TheOne

February 4, 2004 by  
Filed under News

**Reposted from the first Lair, original date: 12/18/03

Okay, so one of the perks of living in Los Angeles is that I get to hang out with some of the best of the best of the best that the seduction community has to offer. Los Angeles seems to be the Mecca for Pick-Up Artists, probably because of the constant influx of fresh-off-the-bus poon, mixed with the hippest night scene in the U.S. (shut up New York), and a healthy dose of celebrity elitism, and you got yourself a virtual PUA playground.

One of the PUAs out here is TheOne, who used to be called Maverick, but I guess he decided a name that started with “The” was more memorable. Anyway, some of you may recognize TheOne as a fairly regular instructor at the Real Social Dynamic’s workshop. (Perhaps he changed his name because of all the gay TOP GUN jokes hurled at him by being Tyler’s wing? Who knows.) Regardless, TheOne was one of the first instructors I ever had. It was him and Tyler who took my out my first night in the LA Mystery Method Workshop about 5 months ago (Has it been that long? Dunno. Gotta lay off the drugs).

As far as Game goes, TheOne is far from the best there is, but he’s a pretty solid dude who does get laid (though looking like Sylvester Stallone from “Cobra” doesn’t hurt, I’m sure). So I like the guy enough to agree to have dinner with him when he calls me up a few days ago.

TheOne picks me up from work, and this is the first time I get to see him in his non-peacocking gear, which usually consists of black PVC pants and a form fitting black shirt, along with the occasional leather arm band. Instead, he’s just in sweatpants and a muscle shirt, having just come from the gym (whether he was trying to impress me or not, who knows? =)

So we go to this Hawaiian BBQ place I know of and sit down for a nice dinner. It’s cool hanging out with TheOne because unlike hanging out with someone like Mystery, I do not feel a pressure to sarge. There’s nothing worse than trying to relax and enjoy a meal with the feeling that you should be gaming the waitresses and any female patron in sight, which is often an unfortunate side-effect of hanging with a juggernaught of PUA such as Mystery.

Anyway, we talk about a lot of things. Community gossip, sticking points in our game, financial troubles, work woes, and JFK assassination theories. In a way, it was a real eye opening experience for me because it had been a while since I’d hung out with someone from the community in a strictly “non-sarge” capacity. It was just two dudes chilling in a restaurant enjoying some good food.

The thought struck me how funny it is that at the end of the day, we’re all just a bunch of regular guys. On the internet, it’s so easy to attain “celebrity” or “guru” status just as long as you post prolifically and are able to spell above a kindergarten level. In fact, there are a lot of guys out there who claim to be “seducers” or “pick-up artists”who never fucking leave their computer.

My dinner with TheOne made me realize just how many guys I’ve hung out with from the community. Not only that, but hung out with them enough to see the internet persona go by the wayside and get a sense of the real people underneath. And the truth is, once you get down to it, someone like Mystery, Style, Tyler Durden, Papa, TheOne, Swinggcat, and anyone else out there you read about (I’m including me in this) is pretty much just like every other guy out there.

This includes you, dear reader.

In fact, I get a lot of emails from guys saying how amazing I am and asking when/if I’ll ever do another workshop. I find it odd how that works, because by any stretch of the imagination, I am NOT as good as some of these other guys when it comes to PUA, though I am better than others. But to many of us in the community, PUA is a very small part of our lives. Indeed, I have many other aspects of my life that I pursue, but PUA is a small (albeit important) part of my overall existence.

My point here is this: Whether you are an AFC, RAFC, BAFC, or any other ridiculous acronym, chances are you are on par with most of the guys you read about.

What does this mean?

Simple. If you guys are no different than us, then that means that you can easily be doing what we’re doing, which is going out and learning to pick-up girls.

Obviously, this is easier said than done. Lots of guys are still suffering in this area, and in a way, that’s where people like TheOne and I stand out. We have been able to overcome our fears and insecurities to the point where we are able to engage this area of our life with vigor and persistence most men can only dream of.

So in the coming days, weeks, months, or however long it takes, I’m going to be posting some stuff on how to help your inner game and how to start off approaching women. I’ll give some examples, some theory, and maybe even a few homework assignments for you truly committed out there. Hopefully I’ll even receive a few success stories to post up on the Lair.

In short, if I can do it, and TheOne can do it, you certainly can too.

Then you can open your own workshop and give Tyler a run for his money. =)

Thundercat

Drama and the Women Who Love It

February 4, 2004 by  
Filed under Analysis

**Reposted from the first Lair, original date: 12/17/03

Okay, so a conversation I had dealing with open loops opened up into a conversation about women’s need for drama. In part, this is because I feel open loops create a tension that most women crave, because they are emotional crackheads. They feed off emotion, and the strongest forms of emotion are the bad ones. So Budec from the SS list asked me to expound further on this thought. So I’m reposting this here for your viewing pleasure:

Well, you have to understand that to most women, being on a hellish emotional rollercoaster is equivalent to being content and happy.

The thing is, us men are logical creatures.  We naturally think “Well, we have no drama in our lives, so this is good.  I can sit down, watch a football game, and be content.  There are no problems to deal with.”  That is our logic talking, because as men, if we see a problem, be it a practical or emotional one, we naturally — LOGICALLY — look to fix it.

Women, on the other hand, are emotional.  The absence of drama means the absence of emotion.  Without it, they get bored and are NOT content.  So when they have no drama in their lives they seek to create it.  In their minds, they think “Well, I have drama in my life, so this is good.  I can call up my best friend and we have something to talk about for two hours. And then, I can call up my boyfriend and because of the information I got from my best friend, we have something to argue about for four hours.  Then I can call all my other friends and talk about what I argued about for the next three days…”

The thing about emotions is that they are a high.  Be they good emotions or troublesome ones, they can be addictive.  This is why make-up sex is often so revered, because it is the ultimate emotional release after the culmination of a very charged rollercoaster of feelings.

Women often NEED this type of thing to feel happy, to stay interested, etc.  A lot of guys I know who are in happy long term relationships often create drama for the women they are with.  It works out for both parties because the women get the emotions they crave and stay interested but the men, at the same time, are in control of the situation because they are aware of what they are doing.

When you boil all this seduction and pick-up stuff down to its core, all you are really left with is the manipulation of emotion.  That’s all this is.  Once you are conscious of this, women become less of a mystery, because you realize that by charging these emotions, giving them the highs they desire (and then taking those highs away), gives you the power and makes you the one they pursue.

If you look at what women do to men to get US so turned-around, its all a series of emotional highs and lows that they instinctively do, and it sucks us in just as it sucks in other women.  The only difference is that we as men do not know how to handle this tactic because we are so logical.  To us, once a solution is offered, the problems should be fixed.  But to women, the solution isn’t fixing the problem, rather, its creating a new problem that nullifies the old one.

Often times, when I’m talking to a woman or a female friend, they’ll start rambling on and on about stupid problems and drama that occur in their daily lives. Things about how men are ass holes, or what this girl said about her behind her back, etc.  I’ve learned that when I would talk to them about these things from an emotional standpoint, like saying shit such as “Oh man, how does that make you feel?” as opposed to offering a solution to their problems, they respond so much better.  In fact, if you want to get really evil, you can even create more drama by antagonizing them about their stances on these dramatic issues in their lives and get them all riled up.

Either way, my point is that emotion is the building block of attraction, and the negative emotions are much more powerful and attention grabbing *initially* than the positive emotions.  When you use these in tandem, the positive emotions are much more powerful and noticeable.  This is what girls crave.  This is why they want drama.  And this is how expert seducers play the game.

Well, at least that’s how I play it.

Thundercat