How To Buy Sex Toys For Your Girlfriend

October 13, 2011 by  
Filed under Rants & Reviews

How To Find The Right Toy For Your Girl

You know, I find it interesting that lots of guys look at sex toys as “competition.”  After all, if a woman has a good vibrator, what does she need a man for, right?  Well, I don’t agree with that.  I think a guy who can get his girl a good sex toy opens up a whole new world of fun and possibilities with his girl, because she’ll typically become more open to exploring things that are sexual with him in return.

I recently found these articles (check them out here and here) from a woman named Sarah Gibson who owns a sex toy website that lays out some good guidelines for choosing the right sex toy.  Interestingly enough, this section caught my attention:

Size

While it is incredibly important you get her a toy that is the perfect fit… you should try to avoid any embarrassing bra-shopping-type-incidents when you say to the sales assistant “Well she’s about your size.” Thankfully you can use yourself as a guide for how big or little you should go for internal vibrators. However, if you’d like something to use as an add-on to your own penetrative sex, stick with something really little like a bullet or clit vibe like the famous we-vibe. These can be slotted in place in between you both while you carry on as normal.

The biggest thin I’ve found when it comes to getting sex toys for your lady is to know what she prefers.  Some girls like penetration, while others prefer clitoral stimulation.  In my experience, the vast majority of women prefer the clitoral stimulation for various reasons, so when getting a toy for your girl, make sure your focus is on “vibrators” and not “dildos.”  Having the option of inserting the toy is good, but it can be hard to guess as to what kind of size and shape your girl will prefer.  You can always play it safe and get a vibrator for her.

Secondly, if you actually TAKE your girl shopping and let her pick out the toy, not only can you get the exact one she wants, but it can also be a lot of fun and really encouraging for her to open up to you about her preferences sexually.  Some girls might be shy about what gets them off, and taking them sex toy shopping can really bring them out of their shell.  Plus, most sex toy stores have so much crazy stuff in them, it can inspire your girl to want to experiment with new things too!

Birth Control Decreases Sexual Pleasure (DUH)

October 13, 2011 by  
Filed under Analysis

A new article in Time talks about how women who take Birth Control Pills have less sexual satisfaction, but more committed relationships…

Good news and bad for women who take the pill: new research finds that those who meet their partners while taking oral contraceptives report less sexual satisfaction in their relationships — but they’re also less likely to split up.

A study of 2,519 mothers, mainly from the U.S. and Czech Republic, found that those who met their first child’s father while on the pill were less sexually satisfied with their men, less attracted to them and experienced greater sexual dissatisfaction over time, compared with women who weren’t taking birth control pills.

But they also reported greater satisfaction with other aspects of their relationships, including the financial support provided by their mates, and were about 10% more likely to stay together. (If they did break up, the split was around 10% more likely to be initiated by the woman than the man.)

So, how could the pill possibly affect mate choice? It comes down to chemistry.

The researchers had previously discovered that women’s menstrual cycles affect the types of men to which they are most attracted. Part of having “chemistry” with someone is liking his smell, which is determined in part by an immune system molecule called MHC.

People tend to be attracted to partners with MHC types that are dissimilar from their own, probably because this would give their offspring a greater chance of survival by creating a diversified immune system. The pill, however, puts the body into a hormonal state similar to pregnancy — and pregnant women tend to prefer MHC scents that are similar to their own, probably because this would make them feel safe and comfortable around supportive relatives.

That means that if you’re taking the pill, you may be more likely to find attractive men whose MHC is similar to your own — but during your regular cycle, these men might seem less your “type.”

Indeed, during their most fertile phase, women tend to be drawn to more dominant, masculine men who are more likely to be unfaithful. In contrast, during the second part of their cycle, when they could already be pregnant, they are more attracted to calmer, more nurturing types.

So, basically, meeting while on the pill might make you choose a “dad” who may not be the most exciting guy, but who will stick around and support the kids. Conversely, meeting while not taking hormonal contraceptives might make the bad-boy “cad” seem irresistible.

Of course, there are many, many variables involved in choosing a partner and the influence of taking the pill is not huge. It’s possible that other underlying factors actually account for the differences between pill users and nonusers, perhaps related to their decisions about contraception and attitudes toward sex. The researchers tried to control for these factors, however, and still found that the effect persisted in two different countries.

Lead author Craig Roberts of the University of Stirling in the U.K. told the BBC: “Choosing a non-hormonal barrier method of contraception for a few months before getting married might be one way for a woman to check or reassure herself that she’s still attracted to her partner.”

My guess, however, is that if you are that concerned about your relationship, you might have other issues to iron out before booking the caterer.

You know what leads to less sexual satisfaction for everyone involved?  Having kids!  Seems like a fair trade to me.

7 Reasons Why A Girl Won’t Have Sex With You

October 11, 2011 by  
Filed under Articles

Sometimes, the girl just doesn't give up the booty.

So you found a girl, built up attraction, and did everything you were supposed to do, yet you can’t seem to close the deal.  What’s wrong?  Why can’t you get her between the sheets?  Well, sometimes its nothing you’ve done wrong, rather, there are circumstances that are beyond your control.  Here are 7 reasons why a girl might not want to sleep with you…

7.  She’s on Her Period:  She may not tell you that that’s the reason, but it’s always a possibility. Has she mentioned that she’s been head-achey or has some cramps? Has she excused herself to the bathroom a bit more than usual? Did she stab you at dinner? These are good indicators.

6. She Didn’t Shave and She’s Embarrassed:  To quote one of my female friends that this happened to, “Unexpected sex has unanticipated consequences.” Some women specifically believe that sex will NOT be happening on a particular night. But she’s got a right to change her mind, doesn’t she? We think so. So whether it’s a burning bush of biblical proportions or just some leg scruff, keep in mind how embarrassed you’d be if you forgot to brush your teeth and your lady wanted a little tongue action.

5.  She Thinks You’ll Think She’s a Slut:  I could literally write a whole educational thesis on this topic, but I’ll spare you. Whether you think she is or isn’t a slut doesn’t make a difference with this situation, unfortunately. How well you can communicate to her that you’re not going to view her any differently and that you’re comfortable with whatever she’s comfortable with will help, though.

4.  You Hesitated:  Okay, we do have to touch on one reason it could be you. It’s because you hesitated. Women turn on like an oven and off like a light. Men turn on like a light and off like an oven. So if you’re basting an 8 lb. bird twice per hour for 5 hours at 350 degrees, how turned on is she? Wait, I forgot what we were talking about. Anyway, if you hesitate when making your moves she’ll be able to sense your insecurity and that can easily ruin the outcome of your evening. Be firm with your actions, but mindful of her needs.

3.  She is Worried You’ll Get Rid of Her:  Some guys are very goal-oriented and will work hard to get into a girl’s pants and then get the hell out of dodge right after because “mission accomplished.” Other guys work hard to create a connection so he can eventually wife her up proper. But, whether it’s the goal, the byproduct or an exit strategy, sex is often on a guy’s mind. If you care about the girl you’re with and get a sense of what her concerns might be, then a little patience will go a long way.

2.  She Really Likes You:  Sometimes you can tell how much a new girl likes you and then when she wants to take things slow it’s almost like a logic hiccup in a guy’s mind. But, try to keep things in perspective. The fact that she likes you enough to want to slow you down is a good thing and another situation where your patience will add a lot of value to the relationship.

1.  It’s a Power Play:  Sometimes women withhold sex to put themselves in a position of power. If this is the case with your girl, then have a conversation about it so that a power struggle doesn’t occur. Or just run for the hills.

If Sex Scenes Were Realistic

October 11, 2011 by  
Filed under Quotes & Humor, Video

This is pretty funny. I’m sure we’ve all had at least one of these things happen to us at some point.

Mystery Method After Sex?

October 3, 2011 by  
Filed under Analysis

Erix5son has a question over on PUAForums concerning the Mystery Method and how to apply it after you’ve “done the deed.”

Erix5son wrote:

So according to Mystery’s method that consists of Attraction, Comfort and seduction how should I play the dating game after the sex already occured?

I am thinking about keeping the comfort with some Tension while on dates or in public and use seduction when having private time with her?

Can somebody comfirm if this is correct/best approach to dating a women after you already had sex with her or give some basic guidelines.

Okay, just to be clear here… if sex has occurred, then you have successfully completed the “seduction” phase of Mystery Method.

Simple, right?

Understand:  The Mystery Method is mostly geared towards the initial “getting women to sleep with you” phase of things.  So you don’t really NEED to use it on a girl you’ve already slept with – unless you failed to establish any rapport with her and just “got lucky” because she was drunk, she just wanted to get laid and didn’t care by whom, or any other factors which might have gotten you the sex but zero inter-personal connection.

So let’s say you did Mystery Method right, and built up the attraction and comfort before you got her into bed.  If that’s the case, then guess what?  Your job is EASY now. Read more

Pornstar Advice: Three Positions To Make Her Orgasm…

September 23, 2011 by  
Filed under Tips & Tricks

Pornstar Shawna Lenee offers some advice on how to get your lady off.  Check it out… Read more

Cougar Sex: The Science Behind Why Older Women Are More Horney Than Younger Ones

September 22, 2011 by  
Filed under Articles

Gurrrrrrrrrr

As usual, science shows up to kick some knowledge into your face!

Men who cheat on their spouses have always enjoyed an expedient explanation: Evolution made me do it. Many articles (here is one, and here is another), especially in recent years, have explored the theory that men sleep around because evolution has programmed them to seek fertile (and, conveniently, younger) wombs.

But what about women? If it’s really true that evolution can cause a man to risk his marriage, what effect does that have on women’s sexuality?

A new journal article suggests that evolutionary forces also push women to be more sexual, although in unexpected ways. University of Texas psychologist David Buss wrote the article, which appears in the July issue of Personality and Individual Differences, with the help of three graduate students, Judith Easton (who is listed as lead author), Jaime Confer and Cari Goetz. Buss, Easton and their colleagues found that women in their 30s and early 40s are significantly more sexual than younger women. Women ages 27 through 45 report not only having more sexual fantasies (and more intense sexual fantasies) than women ages 18 through 26 but also having more sex, period. And they are more willing than younger women to have casual sex, even one-night stands. In other words, despite the girls-gone-wild image of promiscuous college women, it is women in their middle years who are America’s most sexually industrious. (See the top 10 political sex scandals.)

By contrast, men’s sexual interest and output, usually measured by a reported number of orgasms per week, peaks in the teen years and then settles to a steady level (an average of three orgasms per week) for most of their lives. As I pointed out in March, most men remain sexually active into their 70s. According to the new study, as well as the study I wrote about in March, women’s sexual ardor declines precipitously after menopause.

Why would women be more sexually active in their middle years than in their teens and 20s? Buss and his students say evolution has encouraged women to be more sexually active as their fertility begins to decline and as menopause approaches.

Here’s how their theory works:

Our female ancestors grew accustomed to watching many of their children — perhaps as many as half — die of various diseases, starvation, warfare and so on before being able to have kids of their own. This trauma left a psychological imprint to bear as many children as possible. Becoming pregnant is much easier for women and girls in their teens and early 20s — so much easier that they need not spend much time having sex. (See photos of the history of the cougar.)

However, after the mid-20s, the lizard-brain impulse to have more kids faces a stark reality: it’s harder and harder to get pregnant as a woman’s remaining eggs age. And so women in their middle years respond by seeking more and more sex.

To test this theory, Buss and his students asked 827 women to complete questionnaires about their sexual habits. And, indeed, they found that women who had passed their peak fertility years but not quite reached menopause were the most sexually active. This age group — 27 through 45 — reported having significantly more sex than the two other age groups in the study, 18 through 26 and 46 and up. Women in their middle years were also more likely than the younger women to fantasize about someone other than their current partner. The new findings are consistent with those of an earlier Buss paper, from 2002, which found that women in their early 30s feel more lustful and report less abstinence than women in other age groups. In both studies, these findings held true for both partnered and single women, meaning that married women in their 30s and early 40s tend to have more sex than married women in their early 20s; ditto for single women. Also, whether the women were mothers didn’t matter. Only age had a strong affect on women’s reported sexual interest and behavior. (Read about cougar cruises.)

And yet there are a few flaws with the data in the new paper. Chiefly: some three-quarters of the participants in the study were recruited on Craigslist, a website where many go to seek hookups, meaning there was a self-selection problem with the sample. (The other participants were students at the University of Texas in Austin.) The authors also note that there are some alternative explanations for why women in their 30s and early 40s might be more sexual. Many of them may simply be more comfortable with sex than women in their teens and early 20s. Still, that raises the question of why they are more comfortable: perhaps evolution programmed that comfort.

Buss is the author of The Evolution of Desire: Strategies of Human Mating, now in its fourth edition, and has become associated with evolutionary explanations for sexual behavior. His theories help explain why men can be cads — and why women can be cougars.

I thought this was pretty interesting, especially the part about how evolution has prepared women to bare children in their younger and most fertile years, and as they get older and it becomes more difficult to have children, they seek out more sexual pleasure.

That’s not to say younger women don’t get horny and want sex.  Cause obviously, they do.  And the whole “cougar” phenomena has to do with older women aggressively going after younger men.  According to this study, women in the age range of 27-45 are the most sexually active, but its unclear who they’re sexually active WITH.  They can’t all be going for younger guys, can they?

But that is a pretty interesting find.  The next time you do an online dating search, set the age range to 27-45 and see what you get.  I guess your chances of getting lucky with that age range is much higher!

Arizona Church Busted For Being A Brothel

September 19, 2011 by  
Filed under Interesting Stories

If my church were like this, I think I’d be a lot more religious…

During a Wednesday search of the Phoenix temple and two church-related sites in nearby Sedona, police seized evidence showing that “male and female ‘practitioners’ working a t the Temple were performing sexual acts in exchange for monetary ‘donations,’ all on the pretense of providing ‘neo tantric’ healing therapies,” Phoenix police said.

The alleged brothel generated tens of thousands of dollars a month, Martos told CNN.

A history of neighbor complaints, a recent Phoenix newspaper article, and the temple’s website were among the factors prompting authorities to conduct the undercover investigation, Martos said.

“What’s unusual is that they were trying to hide behind religion or church, and under the guise of religious freedom, they were committing acts of prostitution,” Martos said.

“We certainly respect First Amendment rights. However, religious freedom does not allow for criminal acts,” Martos said.

Regarding the Goddess Temple’s website, he said: “What they would talk about would seem to be religion. At the same time, they were implying or intimating that they were giving sex therapy.”

The website says at one point: “Sex is a holy, sacred and divine healing force at the core (of) our beings. Once we embrace this force instead of deny it, we become successful, happy and powerful manifestors.”

The website also features unclothed women, listed as residing in several states, under a “Goddesses” section.

The investigation focused on the alleged crimes, said acting Phoenix Police Chief Joe Yahner.

Maricopa County Attorney Bill Montgomery added in a statement: “Freedom of religion does not allow individuals to trade sex for money, no matter how the transaction is portrayed.”

The alleged madam, Tracy Elise, who is in her 50s, was arrested and charged with prostitution, illegal control of an enterprise, pandering, and operating a house of prostitution, police said.

Let me get this straight… lots of sex, none of the guilt, and tons of tax breaks?  Move this church to Nevada and sign me up!  LoL

Make Love Not War: Women End War By Withholding Sex

September 19, 2011 by  
Filed under Interesting Stories, Video

This is a pretty interesting story about how women in the Philippines were able to end a war by withholding sex from men until they agreed to stop fighting.

Here in America, we call this tactic of withholding sex “marriage.”

Troubleshooting: When Sex Hurts Her…

September 9, 2011 by  
Filed under Analysis

Daigoro wrote up a problem of his over on mASF that goes a little something like this…

Daigoro writes:

What do you do when sex hurts her?

So, am I being a pussy for easing up on the girl when she says this?

My deal:

Tiny girl. 110 lbs. First time I cut loose on her and she didn’t say anything but she would recoil from certain thrusts or positions and stopped me from going down on her (which I felt was genuine shyness/awkwardness) and finally jumped off my dick when I thought she was coming.

She told me today I gave her a stomach ache and that it was quite arduous going so long for her (forty-five minutes or so?). She kept quiet because of the awkwardness of first-time sex», but she was in pain.

Tonight, we had a great intimate vibe going. I told her that our chemistry was nuclear and that she was making me want to devour her. Shit ton of foreplay, mixing rough and gentle. She was highly aroused and wet. But when it came to sex», I could not fully unleash because of her discomfort.

I pulled back the aggressiveness and framed it as a challenge, like, “okay, honey, we’re still getting used to each other. I’ll find the rhythm. I’m still going to fuck the shit out of you. Just a little bit at a time.” But to be honest, it was much less enjoyable to have to reign in the horses.

I tried focussed slow acceleration while she was on her stomach with her legs together. She seemed to really like it but again she stopped me before I could cut loose or make her orgasm. It’s a sharp recoil like I’m hitting a nerve.

What’s the policy here?

Am I being too deferential to her discomfort? It’s true that I’m not always completely dominant in bed. But I want to fucking ravish this girl. But I don’t want to hurt her or put her sweet pussy out of commission.

Advice?

Okay, first of all, it’s not a BAD thing to be deferential to a girl if you’re HURTING her.  Seriously, if what you’re doing to a girl isn’t pleasant for her, then you’re not doing anything wrong by trying to NOT cause her pain.  The fact of the matter is, girls are built differently just like guys are.  Some girls have very shallow plumbing, just like some guys have small wee-wees.  You need to learn how to deal with it.

If a girl’s in pain and not enjoying sex with you, you’re doing it wrong.  Plain and simple.  Sex has got to be enjoyable for both of you if you want to keep having it with each other, otherwise someone is going to get tired/resentful/whatever and move on.

In this case, it sounds like Daigoro treated this girl like he did other girls in the past when it came to sex, and discovered that wasn’t the best way to do it.  If that’s the case, he did the right thing by trying to find a different way of going about things.  In my experience, if this happens, have the girl take charge and let her command the sex play.  She’ll find what works best for her when it comes to you.  Sometimes, this will be her being on top, other times it will be finding a new angle or position that allows her to enjoy sex without getting hurt.  Whatever it is, let her find it first.  Then, once that “safe zone” has been discovered, try to find a way to make it work for you.

If, however, you can’t find something that works for you (ie:  You’re not getting as much pleasure as the girl), you might have to just chalk things up to being “sexually incompatible” and find someone new.  Hey, it happens.  It’s important that you have your needs fulfilled, just like she get her needs taken care of.  It’s not fair to either of you if one person has to keep sacrificing their pleasure just to be together.

How To Bang A Girl In A Public Bathroom

September 8, 2011 by  
Filed under Tips & Tricks

How Romantic!

Okay, before I get to Teevster’s excellent post from mASF about how to bang chicks in public restrooms, let me just say…

Ew.

I personally am not a fan of the “Venue Close” (a fancy way of saying “bathroom banging”).  Me, personally, I like being able to take my time, have a nice comfy bed, and not having strangers take a dump right next to me while I’m trying to get my freak on.  But, there are some guys out there who enjoy the 5-seconds of heaven they can get by pulling some poor tramp into a bathroom stall in the club.  So for all you guys out there who like to quick close in the restroom, here’s a great little breakdown for you… Read more

The Sexiness Ceiling Has Been Raised For Men – Older = Sexy

September 17, 2010 by  
Filed under Rants & Reviews

Good news for all you guys out there pushing 50

WOMEN now find men sexy right up to the age of 55, a study shows.

That’s ten years older than the “limit” set by females three decades ago.

It means fellas in that age range – which includes balding Die Hard film hunk Bruce Willis, 55 – can still pull in girls.

But once they reach 56 – like movie star John Travolta – they become “invisible” to the opposite sex, the poll suggests. Three in four women are now also happy to date bald men, compared with half in the 1980s. Four in five don’t mind dating chaps with a slight paunch. Women told researchers older men were becoming sexier as they worked harder to keep in shape and wear better clothes.

In the ’80s, girls considered men “past it” aged just 45.

Debenhams quizzed more than 1,000 people. A spokeswoman said: “Older men no longer look or act like grandads. They often look at least ten years younger than they really are.”

So I guess it comes down to how you dress and act.  Both of which are factors any man has COMPLETE control over.  So knowing stuff about pop culture, doing things that are fun and interesting, dressing nice, and being sensitive to a woman’s reality works just as well in your 50′s as it does in your 20′s.

Good to know.

Science Reveals: French Actually Bad Lovers?

September 17, 2010 by  
Filed under Rants & Reviews

We’ve all heard the myth of the “suave european lover,” but it seems like that myth now excludes the French

A survey by one of France’s oldest and most reputable polling and market research organisations has challenged the myth of the French lover.

More than three-quarters of Gallic couples have bad sex lives, the Institute for Public Opinion found.

More than one in three women said they had used excuses such as headaches, tiredness or children being nearby to get out of having sex.

Nearly one in six men said they had also made similar excuses.

France has long enjoyed a reputation for romance and the French have traditionally thought of themselves as great lovers, more amorous and flirtatious than most other Europeans, especially the British, the BBC’s David Chazan reports from Paris.

But the survey of more than 1,000 French adults, who answered revealing questions about their sex lives, suggests the nation that gave its name to the French kiss could be suffering a loss of libido, he says.

However, help may be at hand, our correspondent adds. The pharmaceutical corporation which commissioned the survey says it is going to launch an information campaign this month for French couples who want to improve their sex lives.

Not sure how accurate this is.  Could be that SINGLE people in France are still getting all Caligula on a regular basis.  Who knows?  But I guess if you’re going to analyze the sex lives of COUPLES, you’ll probably see the same level of disinterest in their partners no matter what country you’re in.

Casual Sex Leads To Long Term Relationships?

September 9, 2010 by  
Filed under Rants & Reviews

USAToday is reporting on a study about how casual sex doesn’t ruin the prospect of long term relationships.

People who “hook up” for casual sex can have as rewarding a long-term relationship as those who take it slowly and establish a meaningful connection before they have sex, says a new study.

University of Iowa researchers analyzed relationship surveys and found that average relationship quality was higher for people who took it slowly than for those who became sexually involved in “hook-ups,” casual dating, or “friends with benefits” relationships.

However, having sex early on wasn’t the reason for this disparity, according to UI sociologist Anthony Paik. When he factored out people who weren’t interested in getting serious, he found that those who became sexually involved as friends or acquaintances and were open to a serious relationship were just as happy as those who dated but delayed having sex.

The study analyzed a survey of 642 heterosexual adults in Chicago. To measure the quality of the relationships, people answered questions about how much they loved their partner, their level of satisfaction with intimacy in the relationship, the future of the relationship, and how their lives would be different if the relationship ended.

“We didn’t see much evidence that relationships were lower quality because they started off as hook-ups,” Paik, an assistant professor in the College of Liberal Arts and Sciences, said in a UI news release.

“The study suggests that rewarding relationships are possible for those who delay sex. But it’s also possible for true love to emerge if things start off with a more Sex and the City approach, when people spot each other across the room, become sexually involved and then build a relationship,” he added.

I know that personally, most of my relationships grow out of the “casual dating” arena.  I know lots of girls think that having sex with a guy too soon will make him lose interest in her, but I’ve never found that to be the case.  If the guy is only interested in sex in the first place, then he probably will lose interest after getting what he wants (then again, he’d lose interest if it takes too long to get what he wants as well!).  But if a guy is open to having a relationship, and sex happens quickly, that can actually speed up the process by which he’s willing to be in a relationship.

So this study isn’t really that surprising to me.

Sex Last For 49 Days, On Average

September 9, 2010 by  
Filed under Rants & Reviews

Via that bastion of scientific knowledge known as The Sun

BRITONS have sex for an average of 49 days, 13 hours and 41 minutes during their lifetimes, a poll showed yesterday.
The least sexually active enjoy just 30 HOURS compared to 170 DAYS for the most randy.
The average for men is 52 days and eight minutes. For women, it is 47 days, three hours and 36 minutes, said researchers.
Among sexually active people, the average session lasts 19.5 minutes.

BRITONS have sex for an average of 49 days, 13 hours and 41 minutes during their lifetimes, a poll showed yesterday.  The least sexually active enjoy just 30 HOURS compared to 170 DAYS for the most randy.

The average for men is 52 days and eight minutes. For women, it is 47 days, three hours and 36 minutes, said researchers.

Among sexually active people, the average session lasts 19.5 minutes.

I’m guessing this study doesn’t take into account masturbation?  lol.

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