In case anyone is interested – Vin DiCarlo is going to finally reveal his brand-new Pandora’s Box System and he’s putting on a live Webinar to show you how it all works.

Vin tells me that during the Webinar, he’ll choose a guy to help figure out how to get a girl he likes, using his new system.  Honestly, I think Vin’s Pandora’s Box system is pretty cool, so if you don’t know much about it, now’s your chance to find out.  The webinar is free so you don’t have to pay anything to listen in.

So to get access, just go and opt into Vin’s Pandora’s Box site, and you’ll be sent the Webinar info.  (If you’ve already signed up, just do it again to get the webinar information)

So if you’re at all interested in the “mind reading” tactics and things like that, be sure to check it out.  It was supposed to happen yesterday but I guess Vin had some trouble with his servers, so today’s your chance to check it out.

For Newbies, It’s A Catch 22

This article is for guys who want to learn pickup but are too afraid to go into the field. If you’re already good at pickup, don’t bother with this one.

After teaching pickup for the last 5 years, I’ve seen my fair share of guys who read pickup tips and then don’t try any of it. It’s the paramount problem that prevents people from improving.

For some guys, there’s a vicious cycle going on.

They can’t get women because they don’t have a lot of balls.

The won’t get any balls until they go into the field.

They can’t go into the field because they’re too scared of what might happen.

So the process of learning can’t ever begin, because in order to learn pickup, you must spend many hours in the field.

It’s a catch 22. You need the fear to go away so you can go in field, but the fear won’t go away until you go in field.

A lot of newbies are caught in this catch 22. They begin to feel that the field is an unattainable goal, and the only thing that might help their game is to read and study some more.

The bad news is that you can’t read and study your way into a girl’s pants. This isn’t grad school. Memorizing a bunch of theories won’t get you very far.

Furthermore, all of that reading moves many students backwards when it’s done with no field time (see The Forbidden Truth).

The solution to this issue is to make the field more attainable to newbies. In order to get to this goal, we’ll have to go against a few of the core pickup values temporarily.

So if you feel like you’re caught in this catch 22, I want you to suspend disbelief for a moment. This isn’t about finding a perfect 10 and cold approaching her and seducing her for a same night lay. You’ll have to work your way up to that. For now, it’s better to start with much smaller goals.

The first goal is to be able to function and be comfortable in a night life environment.

The second goal is to be able to have a conversation with someone in a night life environment.

The third goal is to be able to talk to a woman or group of women for a good 10 minutes without getting negative or nervous.

If you can do that, you’ve made a small step towards seducing the super hotties you’ve got your eye on. But first things first.

In order to make this extremely easy and attainable, I’d like to turn you on to some of the easiest places to socialize. If you’re advanced, or you already have normal social skills, you can skip the rest of this article. This is purely for the guys who are sitting home reading because they are too scared to go out and meet women.

Here are the 2 easiest settings to socialize in:

1- BBW Parties

What’s a BBW, you might ask? Well it’s a politically correct term for “fat chick.” BBW stands for “big beautiful woman.” There are organizations that throw weekly or month parties for BBWs and their gentleman admirers.

The rejection rate is very low at this kind of event. You don’t have to be good at pickup at all. You don’t have to use any lines or techniques, just show up and start talking off the top of your head and you’ll be fine.

I’m not saying you have to date these women or have sex with them, but you can talk with them so you get used to being in the presence of a woman.

In many ways, they respond the same way a normal woman would respond. So it’s really good practice. If you can get good at gaming BBWs, it’s a small leap to being able to game average girls. Who knows, you might even feel some connection or spark with a woman, or make some good friends.

They have these parties all over the country. Just type your zip code and “BBW party” into Google and you’ll see what I mean. Here’s an example- www.clubbounce.net

2- Goth Clubs

The Goth scene is full of people who have trouble socializing and want to break out of this issue and build relationships with others like themselves. In some ways it’s inspirational. The Goths have turned social isolation into a virtue.

People in the goth scene are extremely friendly and accepting of others. They will talk to anyone, no matter how awkward they may be. Many Goths are overcoming social awkwardness themselves, and the goth scene is a safe haven for them to develop their social skills.

You don’t have to look like a goth or dress like a goth to go to a goth club. They’re not the kind of people who would exclude you based on what you’re wearing. Many people who go to goth clubs are 9 to 5 office worker types. Goth clubs have a lot of people who don’t “look the part.”

The best part is that even if you spend the whole night scared and sulking in the corner by yourself, that actually makes you pretty cool by goth standards.

The bonus is that you also get the occasional super hot goth chick in a corset and pigtails. That will brighten your day.

Even if you’re scared to death of social situations, you’ll probably do OK in these 2 settings.

I hope this helps you make the first small step towards becoming more social.

-Brad P.

Eponymous has a great post about how to build comfort with a pretty solid routine in a post over at mASF.

Eponymous writes:

There don’t seem to be very many comfort routines in the community, even though I’ve heard a lot of big names declare that “the game is played in comfort”. This is a great routine that anyone should be able to use, and it is automatically rooted/personalized, since you’re using your own parents as an example.

Summary: You tell the girl how your parents (or grandparents) met and got married, emphasizing differences in the story each parent tells you. A good lead in is “I asked my parents how they met the other day and…”

script_: I won’t share my parents’ story, which is awesome but not congruent for other people, so here is how you get your own parents to open up (this routine can work with grandparents as well, so you have potentially three different couples to choose from).

All you have to do is ask your mother and father, separately, how they met. Press them for as many details as you can: what were the first words they said to each other, where did they go for their first few dates, was it love at first sight or did it evolve over time, were there any other boys/girls in the picture, etc. You’d be surprised how much your parents will remember.

Now the key thing here is to do this separately, because very often you will get different perspectives or even two completely different takes on the same set of events. In my case, my father left out some very juicy details that my mom later told me. These kinds of inconsistencies make the routine way more interesting for girls.

From here you can take the conversation in a number of interesting directions: male-female interactions, how her parents met, the show How I Met Your Mother, etc.

Calibration: Emphasize certain aspects of the story over others, depending on what you want to convey to the woman. In my case, it turns out my dad was basically a player who finally chose to settle down with my mom, so that kind of story sends really good signals about pre-selection and brain-hijacking (credit: MM) to the girl.

Building comfort is SO important.  It’s nice to have a good routine like this to fall back on.

A new poll out there shows that women might want more sex than previously believed.  The results of the poll were:

Men
32% every day
29% three times a week
18% three times a day
9% every time you sleep with your significant other
7% twice a week
3% once a week
1% once a month
1% twice a month

Women
27% three times a week
25% every day
13% every time you sleep with your significant other
10% twice a week
9% three times a day
8% once a week
5% once a month
3% twice a month

Frankly, I think women who want more sex are a-okay in my book.  But the real question is – where do the 27% of women who want sex 3 times a week hang out??? lol.

Joker over on the PUAForums had this great post about how to pick up strippers…

Joker writes:
Strip clubs are one my favorite places to pick up women. Consider the logistics: you’re surrounded by gorgeous, scantily clad women. The alcohol is flowing, every element of the environment is designed for seduction — from the music, to the lighting — and every one of these hotties is eager to talk to YOU.

Of course, most guys who set foot inside strip clubs are content to be customers, forking over their cash for pointless lap dances and superficial conversations with women who view them as human ATM machines.

The pickup artist, however, views strip clubs as target-rich environments filled with sexy, available women. These are also great places to hone your skills and become comfortable flirting with 9’s and 10’s in “regular” settings.

Now, are strippers simply trying to separate you from the contents of your wallet? Of course they are-at first. It’s their job. But you can use tactics to flip the script, cause them to stop perceiving you as a customer, and make them play YOUR game instead of playing theirs.

Put the right tactics to work, and you can build connections, collect phone numbers, and set up dates that lead to sex — just as you would at a bar. Strippers aren’t the unattainable, unaffordable goddesses that most guys assume they are. They’re just women. It all comes down to knowing how to break through their facade, connect with them on a real level, and get them to feel genuine curiosity and attraction.

Here are ten of my tips for strip club success: Read more »

Do you like chocolate ice cream, or vanilla? Maybe you like a different flavor… Maybe strawberry or butterscotch… What does this have to do with meeting women? EVERYTHING!

You see, all women are different, because no two people are the same. Yes, we have the same instincts and the same sexual desires but our personal preferences are as different as grains of sand in the desert. (That’s why the saying goes that people are as unique as snowflakes)

All women don’t like the same food, they don’t like the same clothes… They don’t even like the same COLOR. So how can all women be interested in the same thing from a man? Think about it – Some women like funny men. Some women like cocky men. Other women like gothic men, jocky men or men of a certain race, age or financial status.

So approaching women with the same techniques for starting conversation, or even the same techniques when it comes to the bedroom is a losing bet… But it’s been our best guess to date! It’s like playing the roulette wheel at the casino, and only placing your chips on either red or black.

Yeah, you’ll win 50% of the time, and maybe you’ll get her a little attracted to you… But it’s better than playing the numbers in the middle where your chances of success are slim and you’re likely to lose your shirt. It’s not the best way to play the game, however, it’s the SAFEST way. With the skills you have know, it’s the EASIEST way to win.

What if there was a BETTER way?

What if you could confidently bet all of your chips on a number in the middle? You’d win every time and you’d make a KILLING in profits. It’s the same way with women: When you know exactly what she likes; the deepest, darkest thoughts she thinks; and when you know what she secretly CRAVES from men, you can match her dating and sexual needs – perfectly.

You’ll be the guy she’s been looking for. You’ll appear like a mind reader. You’ll seem like you know her better than she knows herself. Even if you just met her a few minutes ago.

Until now, you couldn’t get this information about her unless you stole her diary and read it. But recent insights into Female Psychology have cracked her mind right open, and you can peek into her secret thoughts and read the contents. For example:

Did you know that there are two ways women like to be approached? 50% of women respond well to a compliment while the other 50% of women wouldn’t DREAM of “falling for a line like that.” If the beautiful woman you just met likes the compliment you gave her, she’ll start to connect with you and find her attractive.

If she doesn’t vibe with your line – You’re dead where you stand. You won’t get another chance to win her heart, and she’ll go back to whatever she was doing.

You can have THAT GIRL! You can save that conversation! With the new techniques I’ve discovered, you’ll know whether she’s a compliment girl – or not – before you ever approach her. (They’re called Testers and Investors… And the strategies to meet each type are potent and powerful)

I’m giving away a whole chunk of this system for free, and you can check it out at this link:

Check Out My System Here!

Don’t miss out, though… Because she’s eventually going to meet a guy who knows this system and wins her over.

Make sure YOU’RE that man who sweeps her off her feet.

Vin DiCarlo

Here’s a great article on overcoming your sticking points by Love Systems Instructor Sheriff:

Sheriff writes:

I’m going to add something here, that you should do EVERY SINGLE MONTH, at least, maybe every week.

I still get value from this exercise, and it takes very little time. However, just knowing this exercise won’t help, you have to actually DO IT.

Take one piece of A4. At the top write “I see a hot girl”. At the bottom write: “we start having sex” (or “she says ‘I do’”, or whatever your actual outcome is).

Then fill in a plausible and detailed explanation of how you got from seeing this chick to being balls deep. Whenever you get to a point where you’re not sure what to write, you’ve found a sticking point.

For the VAST majority of guys I’ve met, this will be:

“I see a hot girl. I go and run some opinion opener from the internet on her. Then, uh.. um. Maybe I tease her? Uh, and, uh.”

BANG. Sticking point identified. Do some research at this point. What comes next? Post a question to the forum. Ask someone what should happen next.

You don’t need to work out the best thing to say – you’re not looking for lines to memorize, and you’re not looking for some kind of magical routine – it’ll never go down the way you’ve planned it anyway. You’re looking for an understanding of a plausible next step. Don’t accept answers like “Then you be an alpha male and she fucks you” – not good enough. Ask for specific sample dialogue. Don’t try and replicate those, don’t try and parrot that shit off, but use them to get an understanding of what and why happens next.

As my own example, the first time I did this, I got to: “we’re making out in the club”, and I was like WTF happens next? So I asked a natural buddy, and he said: “Last time I just told the girl I’d make her a cocktail back at mine”.

What did I do? I went out and spent a far too much money on cocktail alcohol and equipment. Next time I went out, I was making out with this girl, and was like: “So, uh, do you want a cocktail back at mine?”. Answer: “No”. DOH! Asked for more advice on this, was told to make the bounce home gentler and less obvious … and with time, got that shit sorted. Learning how to bounce was a massive sticking point for me, and I hadn’t even realised it – once I had that sorted, I started having a one-night stand. The point being: you won’t get this stuff right first time, but a plausible idea of how to go about it is crucial

Do I use some long-winded and complicated extraction technique now? No, of course not. Now I instinctively know how to bounce, instinctively know the subtleties, and tend to just say: “ok, we’re out of here!”. But the identification of the sticking point through the above exercise (and subsequent ones), the focus on actually closing and getting from A to B is what started accelerating my game.

Key points:

• Write personal, detailed, and fictional descriptions of how you went from seeing a girl to fucking her to help you get the process straight in your head, and identify your weak points
• Ask for advice any time you find yourself having trouble writing plausible dialogue or action sequences
• The point isn’t to prescript the interaction, the point is to identify your sticking points in getting from A to B – it won’t ever go down the way you planned anyway
• Don’t accept wishy-washy advice that doesn’t come with plausible detailed examples

Hope this helps – just reading it won’t though – actually TRY IT.

To find out more on overcoming sticking points, check out the Love Systems Sticking Points Interview.

Good stuff.  If you’re dealing with sticking points, dealing with them can greatly improve your game.

I still get a huge adrenaline rush every time a guy flies in for a live, on-site weekend of coaching with us here in San Antonio.

At the baseline level, there’s the simple “do or die” factor associated with being the one who’s got to set the example first…paving the way to potential success for the guy who’s trusted me enough to put me to work for him.

Then comes the thrill of watching someone go from good to great at approaching women and creating attraction over the course of a weekend…probably finding out what that feels like for the first time EVER.

But there’s also something else that energizes me.  As much as I’m immersed in all things related to male/female attraction on a daily basis, I still learn A TON every single time I’m in-field with a student.

Some times what I learn is ALL NEW.  Other times it’s more like I get to witness a striking, real-life example that demonstrates in a particularly powerful way why a certain strategy really works.

Either way, it’s amazing and a lot of fun to experience.

This past weekend was no exception.  So if sharing some of what happened is of any benefit to you at all as you interact with women on a day-to-day basis, then so be it.

Here are a half-dozen noteworthy points that came up over the course of the weekend.  My guess is that some of what follows you may instinctively suspect is true already, but a dose of honest-to-goodness field-tested feedback can never, ever hurt.

1) What You Need To Know About Meeting Women At The Book Store

You’ve heard that bookstores are great places to meet women, and I agree.  There’s one major caveat, however—and one I never knew about until this weekend.

Guess what?  The next time you get blown out at Barnes and Noble, it may not have been about you at all.  Apparently, every multi-level marketer in the “get rich quick” world spends his or her time prowling bookstores on Saturday afternoon stalking people.

You’ve got to be kidding me.

During debriefings after approaches my friend made, I spoke to at least two women who expressed they were reticent to talk to ANYONE at a bookstore because of that.  Interestingly, they both STILL were enchanted by the conversation my friend had with them, so this isn’t exactly a “deal breaker”.

The takeaway here is to pick an aisle other than the one with all the business books, and choose an opener other than, “Hey, it looks like you’d like to make some extra money on the side too, huh?”

All told, that should be relatively simple to avoid.

2) The Stronger And More “Independent” She Is, The More She Wants You To Lead

We noticed a pair of female friends sitting at the bar, one of whom appeared to be particularly strong-willed and confident.  You know the type.  Lots of grandiose hand gestures and perpetually projecting the kind of body language that screams “Yeah, right”.

After my friend had a conversation with the pair that clearly engaged them effectively, I followed up to ask them how they think it went.

The one with the strong personality, who looked a lot like Pink, blurted out.  “Why didn’t he just tell me to give him my number?  We want a man who tells us what to do.”

Seizing the opportunity to explore that one, she went on to spout this gem:  “The next time a guy takes me out on a date and asks me what I want to do, I’m going to tell him to drop me off at the Walgreen’s [drug store] because I’m out of tampons.”

Isn’t it interesting how we as guys tend to think we ought to yield MORE to strong-willed women rather than LEAD more?   You’ve got to give women a man they can respect, and the stronger of a personality she is the more frustrated she probably is by the men she’s been meeting lately.  Count on it…and step up to the plate accordingly.

3) If You Say You’re Sorry, She’ll Agree

One of my soapboxes is how women are hard-wired to follow our lead as men.  If the point above demonstrates that fact, this one whacks it upside the head with a shovel.

Simply put, if you open a conversation with a woman with something to the effect of, “I’m sorry to bother you, but…” you’ve already stacked the deck against yourself.

4) Why Downplaying Your Interest Is Actually An Insult

We tend to think the best course of action when approaching a woman is to downplay why we’ve shown up in her airspace.

But least one time this past weekend my friend had to work to recover from exactly that kind of opener.

All he had said was that he was getting bored, so he decided to start a conversation.

Let’s just say that women don’t want to be the solution to your boredom.  They actually WANT you to be interested in them.  They WANT to know they captured your attention for real.

Imagine that…for many women it’s not only okay to express to them in some subtle way that you were attracted, it’s PREFERABLE.

Obviously, however, keep it simple.  Don’t pre-approve them as the new mistress of your universe.  That’s worse than being bored…that’s just boring.

5) A “Hybrid” Of Direct And Indirect Game Is Virtually Unstoppable

How about this?  Instead of debating whether or not “direct” or “indirect” game is the best way to go, consider using what I can only call a “hybrid” of the two.

We got more than our fair share of the usual feedback from women that they inherently KNOW what is going on when a guy approaches them.   Beating around the bush only betrays a low level of confidence.

But then again, saying something like, “I saw you from across the room and had to meet you” does indeed come off as a bit too strong for some women.

I’ve personally had great success with the latter type of approach, but yes…you really do have to gauge what the woman’s personality type is going to be like before starting the conversation in order decide whether or not you can pull that off.

And that, of course, isn’t always the easiest thing to do.

The disarmingly simple truth is this.  If you open with a confident line that conveys the right amount of energy, all the while not hiding AT ALL the fact that you were intrigued enough to come introduce yourself, things are WAY more likely to end well for you.

This concept has proven itself over and over again.

An example from this past weekend would be when we approached two women at a booth in a restaurant and casually mentioned to them that we were the self-appointed managers in charge of making sure everyone was having a good time.  When they laughed and began telling us how everything was, we told them that was great, but really we had just wanted to meet them.

The combination of playful banter and unabashed confidence won them over with breathtaking speed.  Emily and I turned away and started dancing together, leaving my friend to bask in the glory of this one.  Nice job.

6) Stop Fearing Whether She Is Married Or Not

You know how the classic excuse goes.  We talk ourselves out of approaching a woman because, “What if she’s married or has a boyfriend?”

Here it is:  IT DOESN’T MATTER.  At least not as far as getting “rejected” is concerned.

Why not?  Because if you approach a woman the right way, it’s JUST A CONVERSATION…at least at first.

As it turns out, at least 50% of the women my friend approached all weekend were NOT single.  And yet, every single one of those women still engaged in conversation.  EVERY ONE of them.

But here’s the crazy part.  At least a few of them smiled, nodded, leaned in and played with their hair.  Whatever attraction “looks” like, they exhibited it.

If you really have to find something to worry about in order to stay warm at night, concern yourself with what you’re going to do when you’ve flat-out enchanted a woman enough that she really, seriously WOULD go out with you…and THEN you find out she’s married.

That’s far more likely to be a well-founded concern than getting shut out from the get go.  I’m telling you, there are A LOT of frustrated wives out there, gentlemen.

All told, we had visited Barnes and Noble, a killer outfitter store, Target, a restaurant noted for employing particularly sexy waitresses and even the grocery store during the daytime.

At night, we warmed up by singing karaoke in front of the gnarliest audience in town…just to feel the love.  Then we progressed from a well-lit and very social bar to an equally friendly Irish pub.

After successfully meeting and enthralling two or three women at a time at those types of places it was time for the ultimate test.

We invited one of Emily’s attractive single friends along and we went to the two most notorious upscale hangouts for single people in town.  You know them well:  The AMOG-infested shark tanks with a granite bar, Chimay on tap and Italian sports cars littering the parking lot.

Same results.  And you can add a seventh bullet point to the list above.  Self-absorbed d-bag rich guys are a turn off—even to the women who showed up because they thought they might like to get asked out by one.

My friend from out of town RULED.  He and Emily’s friend even ended up getting along VERY nicely.  Go figure.

After pulling an all-nighter culminating in the standard “Breakfast Debriefing” over Chorizo and Egg tacos at Chacho’s around 4.30 am or so, it was time to hit the airport.

The last thing I said to him as we were pulling into San Antonio International was this.  “OK, man.  You’re on a run of having successfully talked to fifteen women or groups of women IN A ROW—I counted.  There’s no reason why you shouldn’t have your confidence HARD WIRED by now.  But just in case, here’s the first thing to do once you get out on your own this morning.  Talk to at least one woman here in this airport, and another when you change planes at DFW.”

I looked over and he was sound asleep…exhausted.

I laughed, and continued out loud, “Alright, you talked me into it.  You get a ‘Mulligan’ here.  But at DFW for sure.”

He caught his plane on time…and all was good in the universe.  As I drove away, I was reminded of why I’ve got the greatest job in the world…again.

When I got home I cracked a Shiner Bock and watched the 7am SportsCenter.  I couldn’t sleep.

Be Good,

Scot McKay

www.deservewhatyouwant.com

Many people who first begin to hear about the possibility of improving their dating life through understanding psychology refuse to believe it works. They would rather tell you how it must be complete rubbish than give it a try themselves, as people find it hard to believe that they’ve been doing something as natural as finding a partner completely wrong for their entire lives.

They find it difficult to accept there is an easy way of doing things that can drastically increase your chances with the opposite sex.

I love proving just how effective these techniques are. Now some of the theories may take time to put into practice however, there is one little lesson I love to teach which you can do RIGHT NOW!

It takes very little effort to do, and is relatively consequence free. So why not give it a try?

A while back I was sitting on the toilet staring at my phone wondering what I could do to improve my own methods… (Sorry for the graphic reference its the place where I get my best ideas)

Then I saw all the phone numbers of girls I have approached over the last 6 months scrolling past on my phone and I remembered something one of my good friends mentioned after we stopped seeing each other.

She deletes the phone numbers of people she doesn’t want to know.

She was explaining how she loves hanging out with me so much that she would stay in touch with me, but that every other guy she’s ever dated she hasn’t really wanted to keep in touch with and so she deleted his number.

Now upon further inspection by myself it turns out that many, many people do this.

So have you taken a girls number in the last 6 months only to have her stop responding to your text messages? Odds are my friend that she has deleted your number too!

This means you gain a massive advantage. You know who she is… but she can’t remember you!

With a little bit of knowledge of how attraction works you just might be able to rekindle something from the comfort of your own home.

I have experimented with different texts, and this was the set I felt had the best results to date.

This is a real text exchange between me and a girl that ignored my texts after getting her phone number in a club.

Adam: Watcha Cutie, how’s life treating you? Still Partying hard? or you getting too old for it now?

Cutie: Who is this?

Adam: Wow Forgotten already p I suppose thats how it is in media eh? I’m Adam the PR manager we met in umbaba, you said to give you a call, but I’ve been busy til now, how are you? Still partying? ;o)

Cutie: Ah Hi hun, yeah always, Im coming into town tonight x

Adam: Cool I’m heading to chinas tonight with a bunch of the girls… where are you heading?

Cutie: China too! See you there.

Cutie: Use this number in future huni… (sends me a new number)

I used to use this technique alot back in the day and its amazing how many actually start responding and really warming up to you.

So what to do with all those old Phone numbers… don’t throw them away.

Simply recycle It’s better for the environment.

AFC Adam
InstantAttractionTraining.com

Some genius put together some images of covers of popular women’s magazines if men were in charge of writing them.  (Correction: heterosexual men! lol).  It’s pretty funny.  Check it out here.