How To Pick Up Women At The Gym Successfully

June 18, 2007 by  
Filed under Tips & Tricks

Some guy named VenusianArtist (not sure if he’s affiliated with Mystery’s new website or what) wrote up a great post over on mASF about how to pick up women at the gym.  Check it out:

VenusianArtist writes:
The gym is a gold mine
for HBs! It’s full of women who take care of themselves and have high
social value. Most of them are half naked, so you get a good view of
their body up front. Plus, unlike nightclubs, there is actually
lighting so you can see what they look like! And you are not battling
beer goggles (hopefully)!!

A lot of PUAs stay away from sarging at the gym for a number of
reasons. Common deterents, fears, and SPs I have about in previous
posts on gym sarging are:

1. Awkwardness for the rest of your membership if it goes badly.
2. Pre-rejection (opposite of pre-selection) to all other HB witnesses at the gym that day.
3. Feeling too grose and sweaty to sarge.
4. Coming off as rude by interupting her workout.
5. Her assuming you are hitting on just by talking to her even if you are not!
6. Most girls wear headphones.

I can guarentee you, there are ways around all of these limitations.

There have been a number of suggestions and successful field reports
here and on other boards. Definitely some good advice in previous posts
and proof that sarging successfully at the gym is possible. However, I
have tried just about everything with little success until recently.
Over the years I have had the advantage of switching gyms every year or
two, so I have been able to try some weird stuff without much
akwardness endured later on. After a rough stretch, I have finally put
together enough material to do well.

99% of guys at the gym approach by trying to show the HB how to do
an exercise or change their form. The advantage to this approach is
teaching is a DHV in itself, so immediately you are demonstrating
value. This works for certain HBs, especially girls that are new to
weight training. It has worked a few times for me, but it does little
to set me apart from the AFCs and it definitely does not work for HBs
that actually know their way around the gym.

My way around that is to understand and acknowledge that she gets
approached by meat-heads all the time. Show her that you understand her
perspective by saying: ‘Hey the last thing I want to be like is one of
those guys trying to pick up girls by showing them how to do an
exercise, but let me show you something my friend showed me to make
that exercise a little more effective.’ Another tactic is to mockingly
show her an exercise as if you are making fun of the guys that do that.
Take an overly macho pose and use a fake-sounding low voice so she
knows that you are not being serious. After showing her the exercise,
say something like ‘So is there where I go for the phone number?’ Then
crack a smile. That opens up for questions like: ‘So how often does
that happen to you?’ OR ‘What is the weakest line a guy has used on you
in the gym?’

With fit girls, who are my normal targets, I have had the most
success taking the exact opposite approach to teaching her. It’s so
simple and works almost every time. There are limitations, but this
technique has been the best of all I have tried. I ask HER to teach ME
something. You may think it is AFC or whatever, but this has the same
effect as an opinion opener. I start by rooting the opener to show her
that I know about the subject and I am just looking for her to teach me
something new. This is field-tested and works more often than not for
me. As long as you keep a strong frame and body language, you will
communicate all the right things. For example:

Notice a girl that is wearing varsity athletic gear or just looks
like an athlete/dancer (based on her physique or the exercises she is
doing). I’ve done this successfully 15-20 times now. Last month, I met
a track girl and it went something like this…

Me: Hey are you on the track team by any chance?
HB: Yes.
Me:
Awesome. Listen, I am in a rush today, so I need to finish up my
workout soon. But I have been trying for the longest time to find some
good plyometrics to develop my fast twitch fibres and quickness. Did
your coach or trainer give you any exercises that you could show me
quickly?
HB: Yeah for sure.

She went on to show the exercise. After the exercise demonstration,
I will usually give a backhanded compliment or a compliment with a soft
neg/release. Example:

Me: Wow. Fit and smart. You are like every woman’s fantasy. A jock
with brains… except for the whole being a woman thing [smile]. That’s
awesome. I am going to try that out for sure. I have to get back to my
workout. Thanks. I’ll see you around.

The next day I saw her, I thanked her and got her name. Usually, I
tell an amusing story about the exercise(s), the progress I’ve made,
and maybe some playful negs. Might ask a rapport-building question or
two. Example:

Me: Hey, I tried that exercise you showed me the other day. It hurt
like hell the next day and I have gotten zero results so far. Are you
sure you are on the track team?
HB (laughing): Yes.
Me: I’m only kidding. It’s actually a cool exercise. You know what I discovered? Have you ever tried it like this…
[Then
I demonstrate some way of modifying the exercise to work other muscle
groups. Ideally, I work in some kino by touching the body part that my
modified exercise works] –> NOW YOU ARE TEACHING HER!
NOTE to newbies: Be sure to know your stuff at the gym so the modification actually makes sense!
HB: No, I haven’t tried that
Me: You’re welcome. Figured I owed you one… sorry what’s your name?
HB: Kim
Me: Alright, Kim, have a good workout.
HB: Thanks. You too.

Ended the thread, went back to my workout and reopened later taking an interest in her this time:

Me: So what are your events?
HB: 200 and 400 meters.
Me: Wow.
I ran those a bit in high school. It always amazed me how long 400
meters felt, especially after running 100s or 200s. It literally felt
like the race was never going to end! I’ve gotta give you some props
for that. [fist pump]
HB: Yeah, it’s a tough event for sure.
NOTE: I am friends with and have gamed enough track athletes that I know a bit about this sport, and that definitely helps!
Me: Hey, did you hear about that amputee sprinter from South Africa that is trying to qualify for the regular olympics?
HB: No
Me: He’s amazing. He’s running a 10.9 100!… etc
NOTE:
True story and very interesting. If possible, mention a cool story
that’s in the news about her sport. Very nice touch for adding some
rapport.

Nice compliment/disqualifier to use:
‘You seem like you have a
lot going for you. If I wasn’t so against meeting women at the gym, I
have probably asked for your number by now.’

The next few approaches I will normally mix up casual ‘hello’s with
a bit of DHVs, rapport, and qualifying. I also chat other HBs regularly
at the gym for some preselection effect. Usually, after 15 to 30 min of
total elasped sarging, I will get a day 2 or number close.

Same technique works for:

1. Dancers -> ask about good stretches for your back or something
2. Runners -> ask about interval training, or time goal vs. distance goal training
3. Just about any other athletic girl. Just think of a type of training that they do that you might be interested in learning.

If you are not sure what she is training for, just make a guess. If
you are wrong, just tell her that she really looks serious about her
fitness and ask her something about her program anyways.

Other types of gym openers that work:

1. Compliments (eg., This is going to break my rule of not meeting
women at the gym, but I could not help but notice you. I am completely
captivated by you and I just had to ask if you were blessed with
amazing fitness genes or if you worked really hard to look as good as
you do.)
2. Funny statements/questions (eg., Anchorman quote: ’1001,
1002, 1003. Oh it burns! It’s a deep burn. So deep. Oh I can bearly
lift my right arm cuz I did so many. I don’t know if you heard me
counting. I did over a thousand. Tuesdays arms and back. You have your
ubulous muscle, which attaches to your upper dorsimus. It’s boring but
it’s my life.’)
3. Ambiguous statments (like backhanded compliments)
4. Questions (eg., asking to work in on a machine)
5. Giving advice (see above)
6. Asking advice/opinion (see above)
7. Role-playing and games (eg., Asking girls on treadmills: ‘Hey, wanna race?’. Credit: FratGuy 03/11/07)
8.
Quick hook and introduction (eg., Point to a sweat spot on a machine
and say ‘Wow, I can’t believe there are still people that don’t clean
the machine after using it.’ Then clean it and say: ‘You know I don’t
think I have met you yet. What’s your name?’)
9. Joking insults/teasing (eg., telling a REALLY fit girl she needs to work harder)
10. Offering AI’s (eg., ‘That’s a good colour for you.’ – refering to her shirt)

Tips for girls with headphones:

- tap her and open normally or ask:
PUA: Hey, do those headphones work?
HB: Yeah, why?
PUA:
No I mean do they keep guys from talking to you in the gym? Because a
lot of women have been hitting on me lately, I think I might have to
try those out.
(credit: Antman)

Advice for reframing your beliefs for gym sarges or any potentially awkward situation (credit: Mike)

In situations like this that involve a potentially awkward approach, think to yourself:
1. Will she think this is awkward? Yes.
2. Will this awkwardness cause her to feel nervous and maybe a bit intimidated? Yes.
3. Is her being in a position of nervousness a situation I can capitalize on? Yes.

Guidelines of sarging at the gym:

1. Smell your best. Don’t be stinky. Seems simple enough, but how
often have you seen a dude at the gym that smells like a moldy
jockstrap? It’s because he can’t smell himself! Neither can you. No one
can! So double check every now and then.
2. Look your best. Don’t
wear wife-beater tank tops… especially if they have stains! Wearing
colour-coordinated gear helps DHV on its own.
3. Wait for right
time. Don’t sarge a woman in the middle of an exercise or while she is
being instructed by a personal trainer. The best situations are
stretching, on way out, on treadmills, in between sets, or by the water
fountain.
4. Be social with everyone around the gym. Make friends
with women, men, and staff. This provides some pre-selection and
demonstrates that it is normal for you to talk to people. Open guys by
asking for a spot, ask about an exercise, joke about the weight he’s
using when he is lifting a huge amount ‘light day, huh?’… give him a
head nod or say ‘what’s up?’ next time you see him.
5. The basic
principles of the approaching apply to gym approaches (smile,
non-direct angle of shoulders, body rocking, false time constraint, etc)
6.
Make the false time constraint a point of emphasis. Be sure to tell her
you are in rush to back to your workout. Wearing a stopwatch around
your neck and glacing at it during the convo is a great non-verbal
time-constraint. It’s also great for timing your rest in between sets.
(Credit: rockdon)
7. Use some kino in your routines, but avoid
touching with body parts that are overly sweaty, like your palms. Fist
pumps and touching over the clothing (rather than skin to skin) work
well.
8. Do the sarge in pieces. Open and approach on day 1 to gain
familiarity. Focus on boosting value and rapport in small doses each
day after that.

That’s it. Enjoy!

Good stuff.  Next time I’m at the gym, I’ll have to apply a few of these principles.

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Comments

8 Responses to “How To Pick Up Women At The Gym Successfully”
  1. Vaoncan says:

    What up, Thundercat?

    Hope the gym tactics are working well for you! For the record, I am NOT affiliated with Mystery’s site. Have since changed my avatar to Vaoncan to avoid confusion.

    Cheers,

    Vaoncan – Formerly VenusianArtist

  2. Geese Howard says:

    hmmm. Was there actually a close somewhere in this post or did I just skim past too fast to notice it?

    All that shit up there is nonsense. There’s no Gym Method.

    I just had one of the Yoga Instructors over my house from my gym the other night. I dont remember using any of that crap and she ended up – A) Closing me.
    B) Buying me Dinner
    C) Coming over my house a couple days later to watch a movie which she conviently forgot to bring with her.
    D) None of your business pervert! If you ever have girls at your house and are still wondering what We did then I you are Definately Doing something WRONG!!! I know you guys are probably all Mystery NOOBs here but I highly Recommend Ross Jeffries Material all day if you are 1 on 1 with a chick. As for Mystery Method.

    Its hype and most of the people who practice it become, “Creepy Pick Up Guys”. You can spot em a mile away acting like a bunch of gameshow hosts.

  3. Vaoncan says:

    Hey thanks for the flaming post, Geese. Listen, you are entitled to your opinion, but to call this nonsense is rediculous. Especially without any specific critique or explanation. I have read some of Ross’ stuff. If it works for you, cool. I actually respect him alot for what he has brought to the community. As for his methods, I am sure it works his followers, but personally I don’t need to trick or hypnotise women into bed. I find it a little ironic that you would call MM guys ‘creepy’ considering you are using SS. I actually don’t use any method in particular. For the most part, I am just fun, social, and genuine and that actually works. If you have something intelligent to say, cool. But please don’t currupt Thundercat’s site with more halllow flaming.

  4. Geese says:

    I use everything that works. SS is simply 1 tool in my toolbox, but nice try trying to pigeonhole me. There are elements of all methods – including MM that do work, however I think the problem is that people concentrate too much on systems of this works or that works when in reality its going to be different for each guy. Also if you go to a gym alot you can talk about anything, anything at all. You think that chicks in a gym haven’t had guys come up who were interested and asked them about how to do this or that? They have. When you say its working are you pulling them home and fucking them or just walking away with phone numbers? Be honest.

    Plus I notice a new fad among guys who rely on methods and routines. That is, they like to say they dont use any method in particular. Next thing you know you’re out with them and they are doing Textbook routines, cocky funny, Push Pull or whatever and basically belying what they just said.

    Remember – Mystery said a Pick up artist is the Exception to the rule. Be an exception. Also what I am talking about as far as MM goes is the product (guys) he’s producing. They lick Mystery’s balls and don’t think for themselves. Thus they don’t become natural, they become like these guys who put off this weird, fake vibe. Chicks might even react well at first and seem interested because a guy is entertaining them for the moment, but then after they get bored and the chick gives her number out to the guy just to get rid of him, the girls start talking about, “what was that guys problem? Wow what a spaz.” or something along those lines. Trust me on this. I have guys I have sarged with who are of that effect and sometimes one guy or another will meet a social group from Non-PUA life and later his normal friends are asking us, “What was wrong with that friend of yours? Why was he acting like that?”

    PS since you are a NOOB to TCs site (and probably thus to PickUp as a whole) I guess you probably are unaware that this site is all about flaming. Thats how TC gets his clicks for ads and stuff. Go back and look at some posts from a couple years ago. Sometimes there are over 400 comments, most of them flames.

    Lastly. If you want to say that you don’t have to Trick and manipulate women into bed but are doing C&F, Pushpull, teasing, body language and kino manipulation, false time constraints, body rocking, social proof and all the other rehashed stuff from your post, thats fine. Call it whatever you want but its all manipulation.

  5. Vaoncan says:

    Cool. You make some good points. I agree with you on a few things…

    “I use everything that works. SS is simply 1 tool in my toolbox, but nice try trying to pigeonhole me.”

    I just replied based on what you wrote… that’s all I know about you.

    “There are elements of all methods – including MM that do work, however
    I think the problem is that people concentrate too much on systems of
    this works or that works when in reality its going to be different for
    each guy.”

    Couldn’t agree with you more. Good point. Nothing is universal. I try to post advice that is useful to as many guys as possible. That’s all I can ask.

    “Also if you go to a gym alot you can talk about anything, anything at all.”

    Technically you can say this about any element of pickup. The problem is that a lot of guys don’t know what to say to open, connect, escalte, whatever. That is where the community and canned routines can be really useful.

    “You think that chicks in a gym haven’t had guys come up who were interested and asked them about how to do this or that? They have.”

    Couldn’t disagree with you more. I’ve been going to the gym regularly for 12 years now. I’ve been to about 30 different facilities in that time. Seen a lot of pickup attempts and 99% of them are dudes trying to show the chick an exercise NOT visa versa. I honestly can’t think of one instance where I saw a guy (besides me) ask for advice.

    “When you say its working are you pulling them home and fucking them or just walking away with phone numbers? Be honest.”

    Yeah dude, honestly. It’s about building social status around the gym and it works. The more social you are, the more social status you demonstrate, the more attractive you are. That is why I do the sarges in pieces. The routine I posted was one small sample of a sarge. The closes come later and more often than not, I don’t initiate them myself.

    “Plus I notice a new fad among guys who rely on methods and routines. That is, they like to say they dont use any method in particular. Next thing you know you’re out with them and they are doing Textbook
    routines, cocky funny, Push Pull or whatever and basically belying
    what they just said.”

    I see your point. I am not a routine advocate or a hater. Whatever works, works. I see routines as something useful for new guys to get started as they gain a deeper unstanding of women and attraction. A lot of the stuff I included in this post is meant for them. I also see routines as a way for more experienced guys to try new stuff out that sounds fun. IMO, as long as what you say fits within your personality and communicates congruence, it doesn’t matter if the material is canned or not. And if you think that SS is not routine-based, I really wonder about you.

    “Remember – Mystery said a Pick up artist is the Exception to the rule. Be an exception. Also what I am talking about as far as MM goes is the product (guys) he’s producing. They lick Mystery’s balls and don’t think for themselves. Thus they don’t become natural, they become like these guys who put off this weird, fake vibe. Chicks might even react well at first and seem interested because a guy is entertaining them for the moment, but then after they get bored and the chick gives her number out to the guy just to get rid of him, the girls start talking about, “what was that guys problem? Wow what a spaz.” or something along those lines. Trust me on this. I have guys I have sarged with
    who are of that effect and sometimes one guy or another willmeet social group from Non-PUA life and later his normal friends are asking us, “What was wrong with that friend of yours? Why was he acting like that?”"

    OK. Yeah that’s an issue but I don’t see how it’s pertinent to anything to do with my post. I am not regurgitating any of Mystery’s stuff there. That’s all my own stuff aside from where I have noted credits.

    “PS since you are a NOOB to TCs site (and probably thus to PickUp as a whole) I guess you probably are unaware that this site is all about flaming. Thats how TC gets his clicks for ads and stuff. Go back and
    look at some posts from a couple years ago. Sometimes there areover 400 comments, most of them flames.”

    Fair. I’ve been sarging and sleeping with women for over ten years but only got introduced to the community two years ago, so maybe that makes me a NOOB. Not sure.

    As for the flaming, I always welcome constructive criticism. Really. But IMO empty flaming is just mental masterbation. Keep doing it if it makes you feel like a better man, but it’s not something I am interested in. If something works for someone… even just one guy, it has value. This is suppose to be about helping people build better lives, not a competition. Criticism is useful when it has constructive merit. But I don’t see how flaming is useful for helping people.

    Think about it. There are a ton of happily married so called ‘AFCs’ out there that probably have better sex than the so called ‘PUAs’. They attracted their women by doing all the stuff that we typically preach against, like complimenting them and buying them stuff. So I don’t see the point of hating on any method. There are just way too many better ways I can think of to spend my time.

    “Lastly. If you want to say that you don’t have to Trick and manipulate women into bed but are doing C&F, Pushpull, teasing, body language and kino manipulation, false time constraints, body rocking, social proof
    and all the other rehashed stuff from your post, thats fine. Call it whatever you want but its all manipulation.”

    Minus the ‘rehashed’ comment, point taken. Sort of. It’s all relative. Flirting is flirting. But embedded sexual commands, anchoring myself to previous lovers, and other hypnotic techniques cross my personal moral boundaries. Just a personal choice.

    FYI – This post received high praise from TokyoPUA, Thundercat, and some other highly respected community guys. Plus, not sure if this is still true, but someone mentioned that my post was rated top 50 on mASF amongst thousands of other posts. So obviously this has value to people. If it’s ‘nonsense’ to you, fine. But replying to it, calling it ‘nonsense’ with no explanation, and instead, outlining an uneducational alleged field report with a Yoga instructor is really lame.

    I’ve already spent too much time on this thread so this is the last I am writing here. I’ve got chicks to meet and a life to live. Happy flaming.

  6. Geese says:

    This is really important to you, I can see that. Sorry if I threatened your ego or whatever. Good job with all the High Value and qualifying stuff.

    When you come back here and act like you’re not going to read my response and do it anyway check this page out:

    http://www.datinggroundwork.com/community

    You’re probably so stuck in Community mode Im not sure it will make a difference, but read it anyway. I dont agree with all of it but your HUGE response to me is littered with some of the stuff this guy talks about. Interesting discussion by the way. Sorry you feel you have to play the, “I got a life to live – notice how High value I am by trying to be the first to end the conversation because I have too much of a high value lifestyle” card.

    Anyways good luck :)

  7. jp says:

    loved the original post. really funny, entertaining, and just what i needed to start approaching! thanks.

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