Should You Let Your Ex Back Into Your Life?
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AFC Adam Lyons: Zombie Text Game – Resurrect A Dead Set
Many people who first begin to hear about the possibility of improving their dating life through understanding psychology refuse to believe it works. They would rather tell you how it must be complete rubbish than give it a try themselves, as people find it hard to believe that they’ve been doing something as natural as finding a partner completely wrong for their entire lives.
They find it difficult to accept there is an easy way of doing things that can drastically increase your chances with the opposite sex.
I love proving just how effective these techniques are. Now some of the theories may take time to put into practice however, there is one little lesson I love to teach which you can do RIGHT NOW!
It takes very little effort to do, and is relatively consequence free. So why not give it a try?
A while back I was sitting on the toilet staring at my phone wondering what I could do to improve my own methods… (Sorry for the graphic reference its the place where I get my best ideas)
Then I saw all the phone numbers of girls I have approached over the last 6 months scrolling past on my phone and I remembered something one of my good friends mentioned after we stopped seeing each other.
She deletes the phone numbers of people she doesn’t want to know.
She was explaining how she loves hanging out with me so much that she would stay in touch with me, but that every other guy she’s ever dated she hasn’t really wanted to keep in touch with and so she deleted his number.
Now upon further inspection by myself it turns out that many, many people do this.
So have you taken a girls number in the last 6 months only to have her stop responding to your text messages? Odds are my friend that she has deleted your number too!
This means you gain a massive advantage. You know who she is… but she can’t remember you!
With a little bit of knowledge of how attraction works you just might be able to rekindle something from the comfort of your own home.
I have experimented with different texts, and this was the set I felt had the best results to date.
This is a real text exchange between me and a girl that ignored my texts after getting her phone number in a club.
Adam: Watcha Cutie, how’s life treating you? Still Partying hard? or you getting too old for it now?
Cutie: Who is this?
Adam: Wow Forgotten already p I suppose thats how it is in media eh? I’m Adam the PR manager we met in umbaba, you said to give you a call, but I’ve been busy til now, how are you? Still partying? ;o)
Cutie: Ah Hi hun, yeah always, Im coming into town tonight x
Adam: Cool I’m heading to chinas tonight with a bunch of the girls… where are you heading?
Cutie: China too! See you there.
Cutie: Use this number in future huni… (sends me a new number)
I used to use this technique alot back in the day and its amazing how many actually start responding and really warming up to you.
So what to do with all those old Phone numbers… don’t throw them away.
Simply recycle It’s better for the environment.
AFC Adam
InstantAttractionTraining.com
An Approach to Approach Anxiety
January 26, 2009 by AFCAdam
Filed under AFCAdam, Articles, Featured, Guest Authors
Hey Guys,
For the new year I thought I’d tackle one of the first problems people experience within game and slowly move through the topics throughout the rest of 2009.
Are you afraid of approaching someone you like through a fear of rejection?
Do you get that horrible feeling in your stomach and begin to formulate 100 reasons why someone wouldn’t want to talk to you?
This is a lot more common than you would believe. There are a number of different products out there which will supposedly “fix” the fear of approaching strangers, especially ones you are attracted to. However, few of them take the time to understand why we have that fear in the first place. If you understand why you have this fear or anxiety, you can take steps to counter it. This is probably the biggest topic when it comes to understanding attraction. Well, that is to say, it is the one that most people have the biggest problem with. I constantly receive the same excuses time and time again when it comes to this subject.
1) I’m scared of approaching
2) I have a fear of rejection
3) They aren’t in the mood to be spoken to
4) She won’t think I look good enough
5) I can’t meet people in a park/cinema/night club
6) I’m not good enough for him/her
7) There’s no point, it won’t work
These are probably the most common reasons I am given as to why someone can’t approach, or the feeling that is preventing them from approaching. The fact that these are so prevalent is because they are all based on very real psychological factors to do with learning and behaviour.
Anxiety is defined by Seligman, Walker and Rosenhan (2001) as a physiological state characterized by cognitive, somatic, emotional, and behavioral components. These factors essentially make up the feelings that we experience as fear, apprehension, and worry.
There are some physical sensations that you will probably be aware of such as heart palpitations, nausea, chest pain, shortness of breath, sweaty palms, shaking and perhaps headaches. These may be common to you. Some people will disguise these by making a decision not to approach. This will relieve the sensations and instead leave a sort of “numbness” to the situation.
Sigmund Freud himself believed that these anxious feelings were created by an association between a past negative experience and the current situation. These associations are often false and not related through causality – the idea that one situation directly affects another, but through correlation – one thing “tends to affect another over repeated attempts.”
When people begin to see this correlation as a fact, it is commonly referred to as “Magical Thinking.”
There are two governing principles behind magical thinking. The first is the law of similarity which is the notion that things that resemble each other are casually connected in some way that defies scientific testing.
For example:
Here people will typically see vertical columns of squares and circles as opposed to horizontal mixed rows of squares and circles.
The second law is the law of contagion which is the belief that “things that have been in physical contact or in spatial or temporal association with other things retain a connection after they are separated.” Contagion effects have been noted to be more effective with negative associations than with positive ones. This is probably best explained by the notion of getting “bad luck” or having a bad time every time you go to a specific venue.
Freud believed that the anxiety or fear was maintained through a form operant conditioning. Essentially the feeling of anxiety is reinforced every time you are in a similar situation. You then “learn” to remove the negative feeling of anxiety by not approaching. These connections of patterns, or “magical thinking,” are common throughout all the human societies across the world. The human brain is adept at forming these patterns, though we do not have a particularly good system for distinguishing between real and perceived connections. Theoretically this is due to a simple survival tactic. If we notice rustling behind a bush it is better for us to assume it is some form of threat and begin to prep our bodies to defend ourselves rather than ignore it and risk being eaten.
Our fear or anxiety response is actually designed to help us survive in a fight or flight scenario. Believe it or not the symptoms detailed earlier are all beneficial to us in times of survival. Perspiration occurs to help cool us down, heart rate increases to improve blood circulation and muscles tighten as they are filled with oxygen in preparation for use. Unfortunately these are not particularly beneficial when we are looking for something witty to say during a conversation with someone.
In short we learn the fear through a number of negative experiences and then reinforce them by not doing anything about it. The bodies natural reaction towards a fearful situation is the feeling we associate with approach anxiety or the fear of the approach. The way to overcome this is to reverse the learning.
All of the common problems detailed above can be directly related to either “magical thinking” in the form of a false belief that failure is almost certain due to some form of connection to a previous situation that failed. Or pure fear learnt and reinforced by not approaching. These are both forms of self fulfilled prophecy i.e. Unless you actively do something to fix it they will continue to support themselves. The good news is that this problem is far from unfixable.
The bad news is that it does take time. The easiest way to fix this is to actually go out and meet new people. The problem is that when you do this, any negative experience you receive is likely to reinforce the previous attitude or fear you had before. As I’ve mentioned before one of the easiest ways to get around this is to simply meet people for the sake of meeting people.
Most of us are actually more than happy to talk to other people, especially on boring long journeys, or when waiting in a long queue. Get used to talking to absolutely everybody, male or female, young and old. This should help you generate a great deal of positive responses to your approaches and help curb some of those negative connections.
I hope this helps guys,
Adam Lyons
(AFC Adam)
Premature EJECT-ulation
August 25, 2008 by AFCAdam
Filed under AFCAdam, Articles, Guest Authors
Today I thought I’d share with you guys something I know is still plaguing a lot of the guys in the community.
The question to ask yourself is… Are you a victim of Premature Ejectulation?
What I am referring to is leaving a set prematurely because you “feel” you have been blown out.
I have witnessed a wide range of students now some of them pretty well known amongst the community who will quite happily open a set, get them hooked, and run a decent number of routines generating a great deal of IOI’s and then eject, actually saying goodbye.
A key point here is that this should not be confused with capture – recapture. Whereby you leave the set on a high note at the beginning of the night, with a time bridge stating you will probably see them around later on, and maybe they owe you a dance/drink whatever. Just so they don’t feel trapped by you early on in the night.
I am talking about having a set hooked late into the evening, and leaving the set for a number of reasons which may seem valid in your head at the time, however upon further inspection you can see that it would have made more sense to stay in set.
The common reasons I have heard are as follows: Read more
LOGISTICS – Planning The Lay
August 18, 2008 by AFCAdam
Filed under AFCAdam, Articles, Guest Authors
(Get more from AFCAdam at AttractionExplained.com)
In the past few months I’ve been so busy writing articles for other companies and people that I rarely get the time to write about any of my own thoughts and ideas. I’ve always been a massive fan of the game, as I’m sure many of you out there are. The thing I’ve personally always enjoyed the most about it however, is Innovating.
When I was first discovered by the community as a whole it was based on the fact that a lot of my concepts were actually different from a lot of the current stuff out there, and they where also backed up by as many psychological studies as I could possibly find to support my arguments. Since then a lot of my ideas have been built upon and developed by the community. Over the years I’m glad to see they’re actively being used by people all across the world. Something I would never have dared dream was actually possible.
Despite all the work I’ve been doing I still haven’t stopped developing new ideas and theories and researching into the practical explanations and studies to support these ideas.
I’ve never been one to keep my work to myself and then sell them in some high priced product, I much prefer to get them down on paper and share them with the people who will actually use them, namely those reading this very article. I’m now actively taking the time to jot down some of my new theories and revisiting the old ones in a bunch of articles I plan on releasing on this site, after Thundercat kindly gave me permission to do so.
I’m hoping these will be topics little covered in the community to date. They will all be designed to be as explanatory as possible and to be practical things you can use straight away to get results asap. I hope you enjoy reading them as much as I enjoy researching and writing them. So without further fluff here’s the first one and it’s all about logistics… Read more