Birth Control Decreases Sexual Pleasure (DUH)

October 13, 2011 by  
Filed under Analysis

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A new article in Time talks about how women who take Birth Control Pills have less sexual satisfaction, but more committed relationships…

Good news and bad for women who take the pill: new research finds that those who meet their partners while taking oral contraceptives report less sexual satisfaction in their relationships — but they’re also less likely to split up.

A study of 2,519 mothers, mainly from the U.S. and Czech Republic, found that those who met their first child’s father while on the pill were less sexually satisfied with their men, less attracted to them and experienced greater sexual dissatisfaction over time, compared with women who weren’t taking birth control pills.

But they also reported greater satisfaction with other aspects of their relationships, including the financial support provided by their mates, and were about 10% more likely to stay together. (If they did break up, the split was around 10% more likely to be initiated by the woman than the man.)

So, how could the pill possibly affect mate choice? It comes down to chemistry.

The researchers had previously discovered that women’s menstrual cycles affect the types of men to which they are most attracted. Part of having “chemistry” with someone is liking his smell, which is determined in part by an immune system molecule called MHC.

People tend to be attracted to partners with MHC types that are dissimilar from their own, probably because this would give their offspring a greater chance of survival by creating a diversified immune system. The pill, however, puts the body into a hormonal state similar to pregnancy — and pregnant women tend to prefer MHC scents that are similar to their own, probably because this would make them feel safe and comfortable around supportive relatives.

That means that if you’re taking the pill, you may be more likely to find attractive men whose MHC is similar to your own — but during your regular cycle, these men might seem less your “type.”

Indeed, during their most fertile phase, women tend to be drawn to more dominant, masculine men who are more likely to be unfaithful. In contrast, during the second part of their cycle, when they could already be pregnant, they are more attracted to calmer, more nurturing types.

So, basically, meeting while on the pill might make you choose a “dad” who may not be the most exciting guy, but who will stick around and support the kids. Conversely, meeting while not taking hormonal contraceptives might make the bad-boy “cad” seem irresistible.

Of course, there are many, many variables involved in choosing a partner and the influence of taking the pill is not huge. It’s possible that other underlying factors actually account for the differences between pill users and nonusers, perhaps related to their decisions about contraception and attitudes toward sex. The researchers tried to control for these factors, however, and still found that the effect persisted in two different countries.

Lead author Craig Roberts of the University of Stirling in the U.K. told the BBC: “Choosing a non-hormonal barrier method of contraception for a few months before getting married might be one way for a woman to check or reassure herself that she’s still attracted to her partner.”

My guess, however, is that if you are that concerned about your relationship, you might have other issues to iron out before booking the caterer.

You know what leads to less sexual satisfaction for everyone involved?  Having kids!  Seems like a fair trade to me.

More Proof Women Give Horrible Relationship Advice

October 13, 2011 by  
Filed under Rants & Reviews, Video

So this is a video from the late 80s/early 90s from some talk show giving a bunch of hard-up women advice about men.  Unfortunately, it’s all bad, terrible advice.  Even though this footage is decades old, this just furthers my theory that women have no clue about how men think or operate (for the most part, there are always exceptions).  Anyway, modern advice about men hasn’t gotten much better from where it was in the 80s and 90s apparently.  So keep this in mind – women will actually BELIEVE this crap because its what the Oprah-ized media feeds them.  BEWARE!

Mystery Method After Sex?

October 3, 2011 by  
Filed under Analysis

Erix5son has a question over on PUAForums concerning the Mystery Method and how to apply it after you’ve “done the deed.”

Erix5son wrote:

So according to Mystery’s method that consists of Attraction, Comfort and seduction how should I play the dating game after the sex already occured?

I am thinking about keeping the comfort with some Tension while on dates or in public and use seduction when having private time with her?

Can somebody comfirm if this is correct/best approach to dating a women after you already had sex with her or give some basic guidelines.

Okay, just to be clear here… if sex has occurred, then you have successfully completed the “seduction” phase of Mystery Method.

Simple, right?

Understand:  The Mystery Method is mostly geared towards the initial “getting women to sleep with you” phase of things.  So you don’t really NEED to use it on a girl you’ve already slept with – unless you failed to establish any rapport with her and just “got lucky” because she was drunk, she just wanted to get laid and didn’t care by whom, or any other factors which might have gotten you the sex but zero inter-personal connection.

So let’s say you did Mystery Method right, and built up the attraction and comfort before you got her into bed.  If that’s the case, then guess what?  Your job is EASY now. Read more

From “Best Friend” To “Girlfriend.”

October 3, 2011 by  
Filed under Tips & Tricks

Sleeker2610 over on the PUAForums writes an incredibly awkwardly phrased question, that actually addresses an issue lots of guys struggle with:  turning that girl “friend” into a “girlfriend.”

Sleeker2610 writes:

Hi I want to ask for help in my situation because I fall in love with my best girl friend. I know she likes me very much because even if I said her I fall in love with her she accepted a date with me but she still cannot switch me from position of her best male friend to boyfriend :/ . So here is the thing I just have to bring her to swap me from friend zone to eventual boyfriend and its done but I dont know how :/. She is okay even when we hang out alone together she allow me to sleep with her and hugging her during that time and she likes it . I don´t know what more to say if you need more informations just ask about them I will answer them ASAP.

Okay, so I guess now would be a good time to go over how exactly one manages to “escape the friend zone” and actually turn that female friend of yours into something more… Read more

How Long Should You Be Single After A Breakup?

September 29, 2011 by  
Filed under Analysis

Travellingwilbury over at the Attraction Forums poses an interesting question.  What is the procedure for getting a new relationship after an old one ends?  How long should you be single for?

Travellingwilbury writes:

Do you WANT to be single?

Considered posting this in the Relationships area, but it’s still a newbie question.

Let’s just say I haven’t had a lot of girlfriends. I’m not going to complain about that this time. I’ve been doing a lot of things wrong. At least I now know what they were. I’m feeling good about my ability to attract overall. The point is that I certainly haven’t had girlfriends serially – with small gaps between them, as many seem to.

In these questions I’m not talking about one night stands of fuckbuddies, I’m talking about relationships that last weeks and months…
Some guys have to put up with celibacy / no romance, for months. I don’t think any guys like being single, whereas girls seem to like it, or at least they are good at pretending to like it – freedom etc. A guy’s wife of many years dies, and I’ve seen it: he is seeing or even married to a woman 10 years younger than his late wife within 6 months. Some guys can’t stand a gap. Who here feels like they want very short gap? You might want more gap if the last relationship was emotional. But what does an alpha or a pua do when a relationship ends, assuming it didn’t end because he was already seeing another girl? Do you literally just decide that you need constant access to a woman’s body, any woman’s body and you just go out every night and day until you find one and then you can relax again, even if it takes a month?

Is that what you’re supposed to do? Loads of sudden concentrated effort. Are some of you driven to be single for only a short time. I’ve never done that. But my gaps were expected to be big, so I’ve never got used to being in a relationship, so I don’t notice the absence as much as some. I didn’t have a lot of girlfriends because I just assumed they would sort of turn up or approach me themselves. Some guys just seem to fall into relationships. It’s not just that they APPEAR effortless. I suspect they are REALLY making no effort, but they’re having everyday incidental contact with women in their lives anyway and they’re attractive, easy, handsome, well-groomed, by default and so no CONSCIOUS effort is needed.

I’m tortured by the concept that “It is easy to get a girlfriend!” because it is both true and false. If you really want one, it isn’t. If you don’t, but have a busy social life, it is. Correct? It’s easy or hard (or impossible) depending on your game, your expectations, your desperation and your lifestyle?

How long a gap could you stand? And how do you go about making sure a gap is short, if that is your preference? Approach every girl? Be impatient for a girl without seeming to be?

If I need to make efforts like that, I need more motivation and less nervousness – more exercise, and no salt, caffeine or masturbation.

Well, here’s how I see things… Read more

Do You Let Your Girl Go Clubbing?

September 15, 2011 by  
Filed under Rants & Reviews

Str8wlkr over on the Natural Game forum had an interesting post about Leading a relationship vs. controlling a relationship.  This topic actually sprung from a thread on a different message board about whether or not guys should let their girlfriends go out to clubs.  And you know what?  It brings up some pretty interesting questions… Read more

Troubleshooting: When Sex Hurts Her…

September 9, 2011 by  
Filed under Analysis

Daigoro wrote up a problem of his over on mASF that goes a little something like this…

Daigoro writes:

What do you do when sex hurts her?

So, am I being a pussy for easing up on the girl when she says this?

My deal:

Tiny girl. 110 lbs. First time I cut loose on her and she didn’t say anything but she would recoil from certain thrusts or positions and stopped me from going down on her (which I felt was genuine shyness/awkwardness) and finally jumped off my dick when I thought she was coming.

She told me today I gave her a stomach ache and that it was quite arduous going so long for her (forty-five minutes or so?). She kept quiet because of the awkwardness of first-time sex», but she was in pain.

Tonight, we had a great intimate vibe going. I told her that our chemistry was nuclear and that she was making me want to devour her. Shit ton of foreplay, mixing rough and gentle. She was highly aroused and wet. But when it came to sex», I could not fully unleash because of her discomfort.

I pulled back the aggressiveness and framed it as a challenge, like, “okay, honey, we’re still getting used to each other. I’ll find the rhythm. I’m still going to fuck the shit out of you. Just a little bit at a time.” But to be honest, it was much less enjoyable to have to reign in the horses.

I tried focussed slow acceleration while she was on her stomach with her legs together. She seemed to really like it but again she stopped me before I could cut loose or make her orgasm. It’s a sharp recoil like I’m hitting a nerve.

What’s the policy here?

Am I being too deferential to her discomfort? It’s true that I’m not always completely dominant in bed. But I want to fucking ravish this girl. But I don’t want to hurt her or put her sweet pussy out of commission.

Advice?

Okay, first of all, it’s not a BAD thing to be deferential to a girl if you’re HURTING her.  Seriously, if what you’re doing to a girl isn’t pleasant for her, then you’re not doing anything wrong by trying to NOT cause her pain.  The fact of the matter is, girls are built differently just like guys are.  Some girls have very shallow plumbing, just like some guys have small wee-wees.  You need to learn how to deal with it.

If a girl’s in pain and not enjoying sex with you, you’re doing it wrong.  Plain and simple.  Sex has got to be enjoyable for both of you if you want to keep having it with each other, otherwise someone is going to get tired/resentful/whatever and move on.

In this case, it sounds like Daigoro treated this girl like he did other girls in the past when it came to sex, and discovered that wasn’t the best way to do it.  If that’s the case, he did the right thing by trying to find a different way of going about things.  In my experience, if this happens, have the girl take charge and let her command the sex play.  She’ll find what works best for her when it comes to you.  Sometimes, this will be her being on top, other times it will be finding a new angle or position that allows her to enjoy sex without getting hurt.  Whatever it is, let her find it first.  Then, once that “safe zone” has been discovered, try to find a way to make it work for you.

If, however, you can’t find something that works for you (ie:  You’re not getting as much pleasure as the girl), you might have to just chalk things up to being “sexually incompatible” and find someone new.  Hey, it happens.  It’s important that you have your needs fulfilled, just like she get her needs taken care of.  It’s not fair to either of you if one person has to keep sacrificing their pleasure just to be together.

How To Know If She Sees You As A Provider And Not A Lover…

September 9, 2011 by  
Filed under Analysis

Deelow over on mASF proposes the following question…

Deelow writes:

So you are in a relationship, doesnt matter what kind of a relationship (could be ltr, mltr, oltr, fb etc.)… What signs that she exhibits (besides denying you sex») would be an indication that she views you as a provider more than a lover?

There are a lot of good explanations in the thread as to the signs these guys think signal a provider relationship.  But the real crux of the issue here is the question “What are the signs that the girl you’re with is just using you and isn’t really into you anymore?”

Let’s face it.  Sometimes girls just stay in a relationship with a guy they’re not really that into because they don’t want to be single.  Or, maybe they get into a “relationship” with a guy because they plan to use him for something – be it social status, money, security, whatever.  And sometimes, girls get into relationships, and then get bored and lose their passion for their partner.  Hey, it happens.  But I think Deelow is asking about the signals that your relationship might be in trouble. Read more

The Bootycast Episode 14: Our Favorite STDs

September 17, 2010 by  
Filed under Podcasts

The Bootycast is back this week!  And we welcome “Gonzo PUA” Ratisse and his crazy pick up stories and insights.

We’d also like to thank you all for listening to our podcast!  Our analytics have recorded over 15,000 downloads of our show so far, which is really exciting.  Thanks for your support, and please feel free to participate in the show by calling in or participating in the chat room during the show.

In this episode, we discuss topics like:

  • Adam’s making short films
  • What happened to Asian PUA?
  • We welcome our stunt Asian PUA replacement
  • Stunt Asian PUA asks Ratisse how to pick up women in clothing stores
  • Ratisse talks about being the only PUA to be choked out by an AMOG
  • Why Ratisse wears women’s underwear to clubs
  • How Ratisse tries to collect STDs
  • Thundercat shares his STD stories
  • Thundercat discusses his most recent pregnancy scare
  • We talk about how to do pick up on a budget
  • We talk about how to create connections with women
  • We talk about using Facebook for picking up chicks
  • We discuss how to keep things interesting in a relationship
  • The news with Amanda
  • And more!

To check out the episode for yourself, please click here.

Girl Game

September 1, 2010 by  
Filed under Analysis

Sinn had (kinda) an interesting post up on his blog about “Girl Game,” or the kind of game women run on men.

Sinn writes:
I’ve been having some crazy success lately which has led me to having to wash my sheets every day and the following little nugget of information I want to share with you today.

Girls have lines and “routines” they run too.

I started to notice this before I left AZ, but since I’ve moved it’s become even more noticeable. In fact I can now tell I’m going to end up hooking up with a girl as soon as they start some of they’re “girl game” as I like to call it.

I met a Yoga teacher in Barnes and Noble Sunday who while we were walking around told me she had to be in love to have sex with someone(Something I’d heard before) 6 hours later she was filming herself masturbating and various other things unfit for print.

My favorite example of this is when girls try to push the whole ” I date like a guy” thing. Recently this very cute little cocktail waitress named Sam tried to tell me she doesn’t date and plays guys. Literally a week later she was calling me every day trying to hangout and getting super clingy. Since I’ve moved I’ve heard variations of this from an Abercrombie and Fitch manager and a makeup artist. If a girl tells you she dates like a guy or is a player, run because she’s clingy.

I’ve done the research for you.

The point is, much as we are trying to control our image in the girl’s mind to make ourselves seem fun, confident, masculine and interesting. She is trying to do the same thing, and chances are both of us are misrepresenting ourselves.

Because as Chris Rock once said when you meet somebody of the opposite sex for the first time, you’re not actually meeting them, you’re meeting their representative.

How do you deal with this?

With the best advice I ever received about women (from my sister ironically enough, love you Gemma!) Never take anything a woman is saying seriously. Especially if you just met her.

Um, I’m not sure about that.  I mean, if a girl says “Get away from me you creepy Edie Munster-looking troll,” I’m pretty sure you could take that seriously.  lol.

But, that doesn’t bely Sinn’s main point here, which is lots of women do have a “system” by which they like to try and attract men.  It’s probably not as well thought out and theorized about as what we do in our little community here, but it does exist, and lots of women know how to use their sexuality to string men along as much as they want. Read more

Vin DiCarlo: How To Get Your Girl To Try New Things In Bed…

August 23, 2010 by  
Filed under Guest Authors, Vin DiCarlo

Sex is a private, personal thing. Every man and woman has their own styles… their own preferences… acts, positions and things they like – and don’t like.

Now, if you’re with a partner who has the same tastes as you – you’re in for a great time together! You can feel free to express yourself sexually, without her feeling offended, or judging you in any way. However, most people don’t see eye to eye on sex. Even if you see eye to eye on everything else.

The good news is: Almost every woman in the world is open to trying new things, in bed. It just takes one word: TRUST!

(And a little finesse when you bring it up ;-)

In this article, I’m going to try to show you exactly how you can earn a woman’s TRUST with her sexuality. Plus, we’ll talk about how to bring up new, more interesting and even “kinkier” sex acts – if that’s your thing.

You’ll discover:

  • WHAT TO SAY so your sex life gets hotter and hotter… Instead of you getting slapped in the face! Try this “trick”… (Works like a charm, every time!)
  • HOW TO TELL if she’s “down” for new or more exciting sex acts! This is the single, easiest way to get her to “open up” – sexually! (Try this, tonight!)
  • TRY THIS, IN YOUR LIFE – Here’s a couple of “tried and true” favorite sex acts women love… That get you serious “bargaining power” in the bedroom! (You’ll love these…)

… Plus, we’ll try to go a bit deeper into how to build trust with your partner, so sex is fun instead of “work.” In fact, let’s talk about that, right now:

TRUST is the main thing a woman needs to feel in order to try something new, with you. Think about it, she’s smaller, she’s weaker physically and if you really wanted to – you could do anything with her you wanted.

So she needs to feel safe. That you’ll know when “enough is enough.” And that you’re not just in this for your own pleasure. That you really care about her having a great time.

Sexual trust is even more important than general trust to your relationship because it effects all areas of your life, on a very deep level. What happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom – sure. But if you both are frustrated with your sex life, it won’t be long until you’re frustrated with each other outside the bedroom, as well.

What’s more – If she can’t trust you in the bedroom, and she meets a guy who she can trust, you’ll be gone in a quick second.

How do you build sexual trust? It’s actually EXTREMELY easy: Care about her pleasure, in bed. This doesn’t mean go down on her, every 5 seconds. It just means care for her. Make sure you check in and see if she likes what’s going on. Watch her face and her body. Watch her reactions. And don’t push her limits TOO much.

Do this with “lighter” things like spanking and dirty talk, and she’ll trust you once your sex gets a little kinkier. In fact, women have a kinky side, as well. And some of their favorite sex acts have to do with being extremely feminine – helpless, submissive and giving you all the power.

This is where trust is EXTREMELY important! So make sure you talk things over with your partner, before crazy stuff starts to happen. You don’t have to have a huge, hour long conversation before sex… but… A quick “hey, wanna try this?” before you actually lock her up in hand-cuffs will go a LONG way.

Some of a woman’s favorite sex “acts” that go above and beyond “normal” sex are being tied up, lots and lots of dirty talk, and any “rough” sex that puts her in the submissive position. (NOTE: Be careful, and pay completely attention to your partner. In fact, don’t try ANY kind of “rough” sex without first  talking to your partner… and… learning some “do”s and “don’t”s about rough sex from someone much more qualified to teach it, than me…)

And here’s a secret you may not know – If it’s one of your “favorite” things to do in bed, she’s going to like it. Guaranteed. For two reasons:

The first reason is, women are just as naughty and dirty as men. She loves the feelings in sex just as much as you do. And anything that gets you off because you’re either in control or not in control gets her off for the exact opposite reason.

Sex is a give and take. And as long as you’re one, she’ll be more than happy to play the other.

The second reason is your woman will want to make you happy. And sex is part of that desire. So let her fulfill your sexual fantasies, and then take some time to fulfill hers.

Like I said before. Give and take. This works between sessions, as well.

If you approach sex as a big “recess” – all fun and games – then your woman will ALWAYS want to try something new with you. If you like it, you can add it to your regular sex. And if not, oh well, you both found a “game” you don’t like to play much.

5 Ways To Get Your Wife To Have More Sex With You

August 20, 2010 by  
Filed under Rants & Reviews

Just found an article on foxnews.com from some woman who has no clue about getting women to have sex with you advising men on how to get women to have sex with them.  (Does that make sense?)

Anyway, check out the inane advice:

Logan Levkoff writes:
OK guys, stop all your whining and complaining for a second and listen up: If you want more sex from your wives, you have to grow up and recognize that people change, relationships change, and your sex life doesn’t stay the same.

As a sexologist, relationship expert, and contributor to Good in Bed, the one question I’m constantly asked is: “How can I get my wife to have more sex with me?” Well, I also happen to be a wife and mother of two little ones, so I’m going to give it to you straight. Here’s my advice for not screwing it up and actually getting some tonight:

1. Snuggle, Don’t Grope. You’re in the mood, so you reach out and grab us—our breasts, butt, or genitals, that is. Guys, believe me when I tell you that this is the biggest sin you can commit when trying to seduce a woman. It will not send us into an orgasmic swoon. (And, hey, if it does, you don’t need my advice, right?). Neither will groping us in the kitchen while we’re unloading the dishwasher.

These inept moves don’t get us all hot and bothered — they just upset us. Try hugging or kissing. Hold and squeeze our hand. Unload the dishwasher yourself. Women want to feel connected to our partners—in ways that don’t always involve sex.

As guys, you see something sexy and suddenly you’re in the mood for sex, ready to go. You pick up the mail, there’s a Victoria Secret catalog in the box, and next thing we know you’re sniffing in our direction like a dog expecting a treat. But women don’t work like that. We may see something that’s sexy, and that something may even be you, but we don’t suddenly want to have sex. That’s where men and women differ: You have to actually put us in the mood. You have to make us feel sexy and make us want to be sexual.

Here’s a tip: Did you know that studies show that if you hug for partner for 30 seconds it raises her oxytocin levels? Oxytocin is a hormone that makes us feel loving and connected and helps put us in the mood. So start with a hug.

2. Don’t Treat Us Like Porn Stars. Just because you can pay to watch a chick with fake boobs and a fake tan fawn all over some hairy, grunting guy doesn’t mean you can treat us like some 30-second money shot. Women crave seduction. We crave pleasure. We want sex to be, well, sexy, not like some third-rate porn production. I’m not saying you won’t get those little surprise treats now and then—but you’ve got to work for them. Luckily, the brain is our biggest sex organ, and most women have fantasy lives that leave your porn sites in the dust. You know one of the reasons why women aren’t more into porn? Because almost all of it is created by men and for men, who don’t have a clue about what really turns a woman on. Wanna know what does turn us on? Ask us, engage us. Which brings me to…
Column Archive

3. Do Unto Others. Want hot sex? You have to provide us with the kind of sex we want to have. Simply put, you’ve got to give as good as you get. Do I need to spell it out for you? If you want us to use our mouths, you have to use yours, too! And if you do it first? All the better. Most women orgasm best from clitoral stimulation.

4. Give Us Space. It seems counterintuitive, but letting your partner have some time to herself can help her recharge. Offer to watch the kids for a few hours so she can meet a friend for coffee, take a book to the beach, or relax in a bubble bath. This “time off” lets her wind down so that later she’ll be ready to heat up. And by the way, watching your kids isn’t “babysitting”. They’re your children—play with them like you mean it. Be a dad, not a bachelor. Remember, a lot of us find nothing sexier than a dad who’s into his kids.

5. Talk—and Listen. I know, I know: Many of you would probably rather clean that toilet than be forced to “communicate.” But I’m not asking for an hours-long heart-to-heart here. Spending 20 minutes connecting with your partner and listening to her talk can help her feel appreciated. Avoid stressful topics like your kids, work, and home and stick to larger issues like current events and the world around you. Respond with full sentences, not grunts. If you can remember and repeat something she said 12 hours later, she’ll be impressed—and you’ll be one step closer to sex.

Okay, where to start with this… Read more

Booty Calls Are Actually GOOD For Society? (And Horny Men???)

August 13, 2010 by  
Filed under Articles

Man, you gotta love science!

Science has officially recognized the booty call.

In a study from the University of West Florida, researchers surveyed 300 college students who had engaged in sexual relationships of varying intensity over the past year. They then divided these arrangements into three distinct categories: committed relationships, one-night stands and, now with lab-coat approval, the booty call.

“Booty call was a hybrid,” said Peter Jonason, the psychologist who conducted the study. “We positioned it in the middle (of sexual and romantic relationships), but we positioned it mostly on the side of sex.”

According to the study, the booty call involves less emotional attachment than committed relationships and more sexual variety and experimentation than a one-night stand. Booty calls are also defined by their ad hoc nature; while they happen between two people over an extended period of time, they are usually arranged last minute by late-night phone call or text.

“Booty calls” have probably been around since at least the advent of the go-between or carrier pigeon, but they have clearly become more popular over the last decade or so.

Is their increased frequency a good thing for society? We debate the pros and cons of the booty call after the jump.

Go Forth With the Calling of Booty
The University of West Florida study really drives home the point that sex in the context of a booty-call relationship is crazy and experimental. And that’s probably what’s needed to compete with all the wild stuff the kids are going to see on the Internet.

Let’s be frank: If you do the booty-call thing right, you are drinking beer and playing video games with your friends until around midnight; and then a chick comes over and has sex with you. If that doesn’t have any appeal, somebody needs to take away your guy card — and then smack you with it.

At least American college kids are figuring out new ways to have sex with each other. Over in Japan, the young folks are having sex with body pillows.

Separating the Booty From the Emotion Is a Dangerous Game
The longer you engage in a booty-call relationship, the better the chance your partner in this no-strings-attached crime is also doing the booty-call thing with one of the 16 percent of Americans who has genital herpes.

Because of the booty call, now college students and young adults are able to get all sorts of wild sex without any emotional attachment. In other words, it’s the exact opposite of what is going to happen when they get married. The booty call may well leave a generation of people woefully unprepared for the sacred institution.

The word “booty”: It just sort of makes us uncomfortable.

In short:  Booty calls lead to healthier marriages because the wild, crazy sex has been ravaged out of their system by the time they are ready to settle down.

Sweet.

How To Escape Being “Friended”

February 12, 2010 by  
Filed under Tips & Tricks

A poster named Regal had a great tip on mASF about avoiding having a girl “Friend” you when you’re trying to get sexual with her.

Regal writes:

I’ve never really been the kind of guy who got the “Let’s just be friends” speech — I’m typically too aggressive / inconsiderate to realistically be considered “friends” material by women.

That said, I’ll hear it occassionally if I’m escalating with a girl who’s trying to resist me — maybe she wants to slow things down because she likes me as a boyfriend, or maybe she’s in a committed relationship or has reservations about me for some other reason or she just hasn’t decided she’s ready to sleep with me yet.

When you get something like, “Maybe it’s better if we’re just friends,” or, “I think you’d make a good friend,” there’s one easy, powerful statement you can make to shut that down and communicate your intentions:

“I don’t want to be your friend.”

Say it with a half-smile and bedroom eyes… and be sexy about it.

Nice guys won’t use this line, because they’re too scared to risk losing the girl in question from their lives by telling her they don’t want to be her friend. “Oh no, if I tell her I don’t want her as a friend, she’ll leave me!” they think. Then, they keep her as a friend while she sleeps with some other, stronger man.

When you tell her this, you instantly show her you’re not one of those guys.

Another reason it’s a strong statement is that it makes it clear what you DO want; if you’re spending time with her, touching her, laughing with her, but you don’t want to be her friend, there’s only one other thing you CAN be.

And you also force her to make a choice. She knows now that you’re not going to be her friend. She also knows that it’s your intention to sleep with her. If she chooses to stay with you, she’s accepting your advances. So, in making this statement, you force her to make a conscious decision to accept your advances. And since the force of inertia means it’s a lot easier for her to stay and accept it than fight it and leave, unless she hates your guts she’s not going to go.

Obviously, this won’t work if she doesn’t actually LIKE you… but if you’re sexy and you’re doing what you should be doing, this is a strong statement that swats objections out of the way and ramps up her attraction for you. It’s lain along the path to a few lays for me, and I don’t hear this objection a whole lot.

Next time you do, give it a try…

I couldn’t agree with this more.  Too often, guys allow the girl they are with to set the frame.  When she says she just “wants to be friends,” most guys accept that as being true and try to deal with it.  What Regal is suggesting here is totally dismissing the premise of that frame entirely and having her choose to accept your frame or not.

Good stuff.

The Porn Myth – Naomi Wolf Is An Idiot…

August 1, 2007 by  
Filed under Rants & Reviews

I recently came upon an article on the New York Magazine’s website written by a woman named Naomi Wolf that examines the effect that widespread internet porn is having on the men and women of this generation.

For all it’s faults, it’s actually a pretty interesting article.  However, I strongly disagree with a lot of Naomi’s conclusions about the effects of pornography on male/female relationships.

First of all, the "Porn Myth" is an idea created by feminist Andrea Dworkin, who was (and I guess still is) an anti-porn crusader from the 80s who claimed that…

Naomi Wolf writes:
If we did not limit pornography, she argued—before Internet technology
made that prospect a technical impossibility—most men would come to
objectify women as they objectified porn stars, and treat them
accordingly. In a kind of domino theory, she predicted, rape and other
kinds of sexual mayhem would surely follow.

Well, according to Naomi, this is the great "Porn Myth," because even though pornography is now so pervasive and readily available, men haven’t turned into sex-craved beasts who run around raping every woman they see.

But Naomi’s article suggests that even though this isn’t the case, the level of psychological and emotional harm porn is doing to the new generation of men and women coming up through the ranks is wreaking havoc on the health of relationships and sexuality in general.

Read on…

Read more

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