How To Buy Sex Toys For Your Girlfriend

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You know, I find it interesting that lots of guys look at sex toys as “competition.”  After all, if a woman has a good vibrator, what does she need a man for, right?  Well, I don’t agree with that.  I think a guy who can get his girl a good sex toy opens up a whole new world of fun and possibilities with his girl, because she’ll typically become more open to exploring things that are sexual with him in return.

I recently found these articles (check them out here and here) from a woman named Sarah Gibson who owns a sex toy website that lays out some good guidelines for choosing the right sex toy.  Interestingly enough, this section caught my attention:

Size

While it is incredibly important you get her a toy that is the perfect fit… you should try to avoid any embarrassing bra-shopping-type-incidents when you say to the sales assistant “Well she’s about your size.” Thankfully you can use yourself as a guide for how big or little you should go for internal vibrators. However, if you’d like something to use as an add-on to your own penetrative sex, stick with something really little like a bullet or clit vibe like the famous we-vibe. These can be slotted in place in between you both while you carry on as normal.

The biggest thin I’ve found when it comes to getting sex toys for your lady is to know what she prefers.  Some girls like penetration, while others prefer clitoral stimulation.  In my experience, the vast majority of women prefer the clitoral stimulation for various reasons, so when getting a toy for your girl, make sure your focus is on “vibrators” and not “dildos.”  Having the option of inserting the toy is good, but it can be hard to guess as to what kind of size and shape your girl will prefer.  You can always play it safe and get a vibrator for her.

Secondly, if you actually TAKE your girl shopping and let her pick out the toy, not only can you get the exact one she wants, but it can also be a lot of fun and really encouraging for her to open up to you about her preferences sexually.  Some girls might be shy about what gets them off, and taking them sex toy shopping can really bring them out of their shell.  Plus, most sex toy stores have so much crazy stuff in them, it can inspire your girl to want to experiment with new things too!

Birth Control Decreases Sexual Pleasure (DUH)

A new article in Time talks about how women who take Birth Control Pills have less sexual satisfaction, but more committed relationships…

Good news and bad for women who take the pill: new research finds that those who meet their partners while taking oral contraceptives report less sexual satisfaction in their relationships — but they’re also less likely to split up.

A study of 2,519 mothers, mainly from the U.S. and Czech Republic, found that those who met their first child’s father while on the pill were less sexually satisfied with their men, less attracted to them and experienced greater sexual dissatisfaction over time, compared with women who weren’t taking birth control pills.

But they also reported greater satisfaction with other aspects of their relationships, including the financial support provided by their mates, and were about 10% more likely to stay together. (If they did break up, the split was around 10% more likely to be initiated by the woman than the man.)

So, how could the pill possibly affect mate choice? It comes down to chemistry.

The researchers had previously discovered that women’s menstrual cycles affect the types of men to which they are most attracted. Part of having “chemistry” with someone is liking his smell, which is determined in part by an immune system molecule called MHC.

People tend to be attracted to partners with MHC types that are dissimilar from their own, probably because this would give their offspring a greater chance of survival by creating a diversified immune system. The pill, however, puts the body into a hormonal state similar to pregnancy — and pregnant women tend to prefer MHC scents that are similar to their own, probably because this would make them feel safe and comfortable around supportive relatives.

That means that if you’re taking the pill, you may be more likely to find attractive men whose MHC is similar to your own — but during your regular cycle, these men might seem less your “type.”

Indeed, during their most fertile phase, women tend to be drawn to more dominant, masculine men who are more likely to be unfaithful. In contrast, during the second part of their cycle, when they could already be pregnant, they are more attracted to calmer, more nurturing types.

So, basically, meeting while on the pill might make you choose a “dad” who may not be the most exciting guy, but who will stick around and support the kids. Conversely, meeting while not taking hormonal contraceptives might make the bad-boy “cad” seem irresistible.

Of course, there are many, many variables involved in choosing a partner and the influence of taking the pill is not huge. It’s possible that other underlying factors actually account for the differences between pill users and nonusers, perhaps related to their decisions about contraception and attitudes toward sex. The researchers tried to control for these factors, however, and still found that the effect persisted in two different countries.

Lead author Craig Roberts of the University of Stirling in the U.K. told the BBC: “Choosing a non-hormonal barrier method of contraception for a few months before getting married might be one way for a woman to check or reassure herself that she’s still attracted to her partner.”

My guess, however, is that if you are that concerned about your relationship, you might have other issues to iron out before booking the caterer.

You know what leads to less sexual satisfaction for everyone involved?  Having kids!  Seems like a fair trade to me.

How To Know If She Sees You As A Provider And Not A Lover…

Deelow over on mASF proposes the following question…

Deelow writes:

So you are in a relationship, doesnt matter what kind of a relationship (could be ltr, mltr, oltr, fb etc.)… What signs that she exhibits (besides denying you sex») would be an indication that she views you as a provider more than a lover?

There are a lot of good explanations in the thread as to the signs these guys think signal a provider relationship.  But the real crux of the issue here is the question “What are the signs that the girl you’re with is just using you and isn’t really into you anymore?”

Let’s face it.  Sometimes girls just stay in a relationship with a guy they’re not really that into because they don’t want to be single.  Or, maybe they get into a “relationship” with a guy because they plan to use him for something – be it social status, money, security, whatever.  And sometimes, girls get into relationships, and then get bored and lose their passion for their partner.  Hey, it happens.  But I think Deelow is asking about the signals that your relationship might be in trouble. Read more