How To Know If She Sees You As A Provider And Not A Lover…

September 9, 2011 by  
Filed under Analysis

Deelow over on mASF proposes the following question…

Deelow writes:

So you are in a relationship, doesnt matter what kind of a relationship (could be ltr, mltr, oltr, fb etc.)… What signs that she exhibits (besides denying you sex») would be an indication that she views you as a provider more than a lover?

There are a lot of good explanations in the thread as to the signs these guys think signal a provider relationship.  But the real crux of the issue here is the question “What are the signs that the girl you’re with is just using you and isn’t really into you anymore?”

Let’s face it.  Sometimes girls just stay in a relationship with a guy they’re not really that into because they don’t want to be single.  Or, maybe they get into a “relationship” with a guy because they plan to use him for something – be it social status, money, security, whatever.  And sometimes, girls get into relationships, and then get bored and lose their passion for their partner.  Hey, it happens.  But I think Deelow is asking about the signals that your relationship might be in trouble. Read more

Girls Lie Too!

August 23, 2010 by  
Filed under Guest Authors, John Alanis

I’m not really a country music fan.  I like some of it, since I was pretty much raised on country and western (willie, Waylon, hank, etc.), but I haven’t paid attention to it for a long time.

Anyways, a buddy of mind told me I needed to listen to a song called Girls Lie Too, and I gotta tell you it’s one of the funniest… and most realistic… songs I’ve heard in a long time.

The video is awesome, on par with an 80’s metal video, and the ending is hilarious.  You can check it out at:

Now, while the video is funny, it’s worth paying attention to all the words because they are pure, unadulterated reality most guys just want to believe doesn’t exist.

Yes, Virginia, girls lie too.  And they are very, very good at it.

Now, does that mean they do it with deliberate intent to harm you?  No, not at all. You see, women communicate on a much more emotional level than men and the most important thing to women in their communication is to cause no pain.

Oftentimes they will dance around issues that should be discussed, or not tell things they should because they know it’s going to be a painful combination.  There’s no right or wrong about it, it’s just how women communicate.

What should you do about it as a man?  The truth is this:  nothing.  It’s just how women communicate, and oftentimes they do so in this manner to make men feel good.

But another reason women do it in this day and age of the girlie man is that they’ve all had the experience of telling a man the truth, and watching him react like an emotional 3 year old.  It’s a shocking experience for them, so they choose not to repeat it.

The only thing you can do is learn to interpret her communication, and understand her true intent.  It’s not as hard as it sounds—pay attention to the full spectrum of a woman’s communication and you’ll understand what she’s trying to get across.

Besides, all lies aren’t a bad thing.  I quite enjoy it when a woman says MY height doesn’t matter even though she likes tall men, and that *I* look good as a balding man even though she loves men with hair, and that *I* look great in a t-shirt although she likes men who dress up more.

All lies, damn lies.

Tell me more, please!

On with the fun,

-John Alanis