Troubles Being Social – For Beginners

August 10, 2010 by  
Filed under Analysis

They cheap cialis without prescription may not have paid time off from work, forcing them buy generic ambien to choose between going to work sick and spreading the buy spiriva online cheap virus or staying home and losing income. In some cases, buy cheap zopiclone an individual may need reconstructive surgery to preserve movement and discount ampicillin function in the face. Many types of Acinetobacter are resistant cheap aldactone from uk to some available antibiotics, so the type of treatment will amoxicillin for sale depend on the individual case. Collecting stem cells from bone best price for imovane marrow or fat tissue is an invasive procedure and carries buy serevent from canada the usual surgical risks, such as infection. Off-label drug use buy spiriva in us means using a drug for a purpose other than what zithromax pharmacy it's been approved for by the FDA. If a person's symptoms.
Naistehirm, over on mASF, has a pretty gut-wrenching post about his troubles being a social guy…

Naistehirm writes:
Hey,

okay, I have a problem that I have no idea how to get over, I think I have tried several different methods, but none does the work for me.

Anyway, my prob is that most of the time I’m way too dull and not very talkative. I feel like I have never something to say and my mind seems to be pretty empty all the times, or full of crap like I’m thinking why do I not have anything to say.

I party a lot, but most of the time only cause I force myself to go to parties and be social, but that’s not good since in those cases I absolutely don’t enjoy myself.

Especially when I’m sober I have no clue what to talk about. Normally I am in social circles so my chances of getting girls are by social circle, but I have problems attracting girls when I have no idea what to tell them/or what to speak about, nothing comes to my mind, not even any random shit. Sometimes I’m able to hold conversation for few mins, but out of there it just gets dull and I make an excuse to get out of conversation or sometimes I just ignore people cause I don’t have a clue how to answer their questions or whatever. It’s not that I overthink my answers, it’s just that I feel there’s nothing to say. And this makes me feel very uncomfortable in social situations.

And I go out pretty much every day and I haven’t gotten any better. I haven’t got laid for 1.5 years (and I have really got laid for just once, and it wasn’t very enjoyable, was drunk and didn’t get the girl wet so it wasn’t cool at all).
And cause of me not getting girls and all my friends being succesful it hits my self esteem pretty bad, although it’s not that bad, cause I’m still thinking kind of realistically, and my looks aren’t bad either, so all I’m worried about is that I have nothing to say.

I only feel comfortable in social situations when I have had few beers, but then it lasts for just a while and sometimes it just makes me depressed so I can’t just focus on alcohol, and it would be a lot better if I was able to stay social even when I was sober.

Approaching girls is not a big problem for me, out of my friends I think I seem to be more couraegous about this part, but whenever I approach I can only hold conversation for a little while and then I start feeling uncomfortable cause I can’t move things anywhere.

Most of the discussion my friends do is cocky/funny type of, which seems to work on girls very well, but I rarely manage to do that, and even when I’m able to, then I have been silent for a way too long time and then it can come out either lame or mean or whatever.

Seeing my friends being succesful and me not getting any at all, makes me pretty depressed at times and I really want to get over it, cause atm I feel like I’m never going to get girls or even a relationship.

I feel pretty uncomfortable on 1 on 1 situations too, especially when with girls, because I feel like I’m forced to say something but nothing comes to my mind, not even any random stuff. I only feel comfortable with my guy friends cause then I don’t have to talk so much, so it doesn’t affect anything. But yeah, maybe someone can show me the right direction, what to do or whatever…

Thank you.

Here’s the thing about being social… Read more

Questions About Online Game

August 6, 2010 by  
Filed under Analysis

EricTheViking over at mASF had some interesting questions about online dating I thought I’d address:

EricTheViking writes:

1. Why is it that I have much more success if I use the photos of some good looking guy on my profile? I thought looks don’t matter but if I looked like that guy I could have sex with a new 9 every week.

2. Why is it that you guys don’t use Facebook to find girls? Why dating sites»? I have tons of hotties on Facebook (literally hundreds), so could you, why use dating sites»? I’m really interested in an answer to this question.

Let’s answer these questions in turn… Read more

Mehow Complicates AMOGing

February 19, 2010 by  
Filed under Analysis

So I somehow stumbled upon an article from Mehow about AMOGing and my brain almost exploded while reading it.  I don’t have any real beef with Mehow other than to say I don’t personally like the guy, but after reading this article, I’m honestly wondering how anyone else could like him either.

Mehow’s whole article is basically a long-winded explanation of how to make offensive “yo momma” jokes to your buddies and pass it off as AMOGing.  What most seduction coaches could have explained in a paragraph, Mehow goes on to convolute and over-rationalize for a good 3 pages (at least!).

Anyway, I thought the article was bad enough that it deserved some commentary.  So if you’re at all interesting in AMOGing, you may be interested in reading a bit further… Read more

Should You Be A “Jerk” Or A “Nice Guy?”

February 12, 2010 by  
Filed under Analysis

Bisquick1 had this interesting post on mASF about striking a balance between being a Jerk and a Nice Guy.

Bisquick1 writes:

I notice this relates to not just picking up women, but making friends — lasting friends at that: Finding the balance between being the “Jerk” and being the “Nice guy”

After making, keeping, and losing friends or women I began to understand how those processes were happening. However, I’m having a difficult time trying to calibrate each situation!

If I make a friend/meet a girl, I will either lose him/her because I am either: Worried about not offending or annoying the other person, thereby leading me to be boring and they move to someone more fun.

Or I’m too much of a jerk. I’ll get annoying, and be too crazy/funny to the point where it is like “Enough already!” and lose him/her because of that.

On rare instances I’ll keep the friend/girlfriend if I play the cards right, but I just don’t know how!

I’ve tried newbie methods to meet new guy friends and potential girlfriend, but it is taking too long to just CLICK.

When and how will it just CLICK? Its been too long!(2+ years of recurring situations mentioned above)

Now, I’ve dealt with this “Nice Guy” vs. “Jerk” dilemma before.  I think too many guys make the mistake of thinking that being a Jerk means being a mean prick to everyone, and somehow that is preferable to being a “Nice Guy.”  In the case of this poster, he wants to strike some type of balance, as though he can oscilate between being a Jerk and being a Nice Guy when the situation suits him.

To me, this is a bad idea – for a multitude of reasons.  Not the least of which is that when you do things like this, you’re not being very genuine.  You’re putting on an act, so when people become attracted to you, they’re not really liking you for who you are, they like the act you put on.  And ultimately, you just can’t sustain that.

If you’re the type of guy who thinks that you have to be a jerk to get women attracted to you, then you’ve been mislead.  You don’t have to be one or the other – a nice guy or a jerk.  Both of these labels have positives and negatives about them.  it is possible to be a nice guy who attracts women just as well, if not better than, jerks do.

Here’s the thing you got to remember about “Jerks”…

The reason Jerk’s are so successful with women (in general) is because women often mistake narcisism & sociopathic tendancies for confidence.

Jerks are people who only care about their own pleasure. They have no concept of other people’s feelings, and because of that, they don’t get nervous or take into account how they may be coming off around other people.  They focus on getting what they want because they feel they deserve it. This can seem like confidence, mixed with a healthy dose of persistence, to people who have weak frames and get caught up in the Jerk’s bravado. But those are really the two things anyone needs to be successful with women at a most basic level – confidence and persistence.

So I don’t think its really about finding a balance between being a Jerk and a Nice guy, its about having the right amount of confidence so that you can get what you want no matter the situation.

I like to think I’m a pretty nice guy, but I have developed a certain amount of inner strength that helps me to attract women and not come off as Beta or AFC. That’s really what we’re talking about here – if you can be self confident enough to be fun, interesting, and engaging around others and still get what you want, you don’t have to worry about playing the roll of a “jerk” or a “nice guy.”

So it comes down to this – are you able to focus on doing and achieving what makes you happy, while still being able to calibrate how other people around you are feeling and adjust your behavior appropriately?

The best skill you can learn in pick up is being able to read the people you are with – be they men or women. If you know what you’re doing is upsetting someone or pissing them off, then you need to be able to adjust your game accordingly.

If you’re able to do that, you can CONSISTENTLY be the type of man people want to be around, without having to worry about “switching” your roles and playing two different parts that really don’t reflect who you are.

No Link Between Sex & Money?

June 14, 2004 by  
Filed under Analysis

Someone sent me a link to an interesting article that says Economists have found no link between money and sex.

Read more

The Truth About Boyfriends

April 23, 2004 by  
Filed under Analysis

You know, I’ve been thinking about a few things lately (always a dangerous thing, I know). One of the things I’ve been thinking about are girls who have boyfriends, and even husbands. It’s funny, because I don’t know if you guys have noticed this in your experiences, but have you ever been conscious of how most girls have boyfriends who are really, really lame?

I mean, even if they’re good looking, most boyfriends are pretty beta guys. They’re kind of wimpy and AFC or what have you. They’re very “safe.” Same goes for most husbands. They’re the responsible guys. The guys who make money, pay the bills, fix the car, take out the trash. They’re the guys who are understanding, nurturing, caring, who take care of the kids and will cook the occasional meal. But they’re often not the guys who can stir that unbridled passion within a woman. Maybe they once were, but for the most part, most guys I’ve met who were out with their girlfriends were pretty lame.

But the same is true for guys too. Lots of guys will often choose a girlfriend or wife based on how sweet and loving she is. How well she can cook, how loyal she will be, whether or not she’s willing to clean and do laundary. Whether she’s a good mother or not. She may not be the best looking girl in the world, but you know she’ll take care of you and she’ll be there when you need her. She’s “safe.”

But the guys most women will sleep with are the Bad Boys. The Players. The guys who are arrogant and cocky, and can stir that passion within them. They’re the guys who are the great fucks, but the girl might not want to see for a steady relationship. They’re the guy who she never has to see sick, or sad, or see the skid marks in his underwear, or his inner most thoughts and feelings. With him, the illusion of excitement and adventure is still alive. And by that same token, that goes for guys going after hot party chicks too. The only problem is that once someone gets into a relationship with this type, the reality comes crashing down and it’s usually a dismal failure.

But this is an important thing to make a distinction about when it comes to pick-up: The men women have as boyfriends are not necessarilly the men they want to sleep with. And if a man comes along that can stir passion within them, they WILL cheat on their boyfriend/husband. So this means that the BF/Husband is not a real obstacle. Sure, the woman may LIKE the BF/Husband. She may even love him. But in the end, he’s safe and boring, and no one can resist excitement and adventure.

This is where I think a lot of the major Players out there excel. They do not let this false barrier stop them from getting the girl. But by the same token, it may also sour them on Long Term Relationships because they know how people work in this regard, and know that if any guy comes along with a modicum of game, his girlfriend/wife will sleep with him! Kind of a bitter outlook, isn’t it?

I don’t know, I just think this topic is an interesting one, because for me personally, it puts a lot of stuff in perspective, especially when it comes to knowing how to control the underlying meaning of an interaction. For instance, say you like a girl who has a BF. You don’t have to get her to break up with him or anything, you just have to present a juicy alternative so that she can have her cake and eat it too. Why make her choose? Just beta the BF, work on attracting her, and seduce her. Make her feel like it’s not her fault that she’s doing this (cheating), that you’re just too charming or whatever.

Anyway, it’s something to think about.

Being talkative

April 20, 2004 by  
Filed under Analysis

I found this post on mASF Advanced about Achieving the Talkative State Before Approaching:

Narcissisto writes:
What’s the best way of getting into the talkative state before approaching? What’s the best way of keeping that state, or getting back to it if you let someone change it?

I think this is one of the hardest things to do when it comes to pick-up. I call it being in “social mode.” Most people get so complacent in their comfort zones, that it is just too hard for them to approach other people! But there are little tricks you can do to shift yourself out of your comfort zone and into social mode.

Often times, when I’m out to sarge with a wingman, they will instantly want to “do some sets” and start talking to girls right away. To me, this is very hard to do if I’m in my comfort zone, because the LAST thing I feel like doing is talking to girls. Most of my best nights have been when I’ve warmed-up properly and gotten into social mode BEFORE approaching girls. There are a few things that go into this:

1. Knowing what to talk about
2. Warming up with people who you do not have a vested outcome in mind.
3. Having High energy

I think these 3 things are important when getting into social mode. Knowing what to say can help you get the ball rolling on a lot of things, and saves your brain time and effort in thinking about how to get a conversation going.

When it comes to warming up with people who you do not have a vested outcome in mind, what I’m talking about here is namely — Men and Ugs. People you have no interest in fucking. Because you divest yourself of an outcome with these people, it helps you to get the mouth moving and get your energy up before approaching the real targets.

Getting High energy is usually either the first or last thing you will do. Going into warm-ups with a high energy already will help you to engage other people. If your energy is down, simply getting into good conversations with strangers will help to pump it up, because you’ll start to break out of your comfort zone.

I talk more about this in my book The Art of Approaching and will probably write an article about this topic soon, because I think it’s really important to know how to get social in environments where you want to pick-up.

I’d also like to add that having a few drinks in you can help. Sad, but true. =)

The Most Important Attribute of a Pick-Up Artist

April 12, 2004 by  
Filed under Analysis

Tyler Durden has an interesting post up on mASF about what he thinks is the most important attribute to have as a pick-up artist. Of course, there are many important attributes to have, most of which have to be learned by most guys (hey, this is a subset of self-improvement after all), but I think Tyler makes some really good points in his post that should be addressed.

Read more

Deconstructing Swinggcat, Vol. II

April 8, 2004 by  
Filed under Analysis

A while back I wrote a post about an upcoming Newsletter of Swinggcat’s that I thought was going to be really excellent. He recently sent it out and gave me permission to repost it here on the site, so I’m gonna do my usual thing and instead of just reposting it outright, I’m gonna break it down with my own thoughts on the subject.

Respect the Process…
Hey guys,

Lately, a lot of the questions many of you have been sending me relate to a specific issue – one that hits very close to home for me. The heart of this matter is less obvious to most men than an insect flying towards an ultraviolet bug zapper, thinking, “the light is so beautiful!”… zap!

For many, dating and attracting women is about the male ego at war in the singles scene trenches. I spent a lot of time coming from this place, deterring me from the massive success with women I desperately sought after.

The Male Ego War is quite a good metaphor in my opinion. It’s very much about how most men in society rate their validation — through the approval of women. By going out and looking to hook up, we put our egos on the line, hoping that we will get the validation we seek. We think “Oh, if a hot girl likes us, then we’re not ugly, or bald, or fat, or anything bad! We’re good the way we are! We’re worth loving!” But when we don’t get that, our Ego is crushed, and most men will descend into a pit of misery and self-loathing, all because some girl “had to go to the bathroom” and left us holding our wanker.

My big breakthrough – transforming me from an average Waldo into a rock star with women – came when I adopted a single mindset. But before I tell you what this mindset is, let’s take a look at two categories of mindsets that can sabotage a man’s success with women.

The first category relates to men believing that their lack of success with women is due to their own shortcomings. I get questions, for example, from guys asking if the reason why such-and-such girl doesn’t like them is because they are bald, or short, or old, or gauche, or blessed with an unfunny wit, or as sexy as a hairy mole…or whatever. These emails break my heart because I spent many years coming from the same place. I think most of us to some extent have. Maybe it comes from some unfounded myth in our culture, disseminated by media, school, parents and friends, purporting: if someone is of perceived higher value than you, they are not allowed to be attracted to you. I don’t know? But I do know one thing: the same type of women I once felt unworthy of, are now very attracted to me. I, furthermore, have short, bald, fat, broke friends who are constantly attracting beautiful, sophisticated, intelligent, wealthy women. Are you becoming a little suspicious of this cultural myth? Good!

Speaking as a bald, fat, broke guy, I can say this is pretty accurate. The idea of percieved social value is such a stupid one, because it doesn’t exist. It’s not a tangible thing that is grounded in reality. It’s all about perception. I used to think that because I’m not an attractive guy, I’d never be able to get the kind of girl I wanted. But I’ve seen HUGE fat guys, REALLY ugly guys, and even MIDGETS, all of which could get really hot girls. And because of that, I came to the realization that most of the things that were holding me back were in my head, and in fact did not REALLY exist. In fact, the barriers I put up for myself were about as real as the percieved social value of the women I lusted after.

Anyway, the newsletter gets better…

The second category relates to men believing that their lack of success with women is due to
something in their external environment. One mindset that fits into this category is the belief that certain venues are not only difficult but next to impossible to attract women in. I once had a mentor, for example, that told me that bars and nightclubs are unfeasible environments for a man to attract women, unless he is wealthy, famous, or model good looking. And that the vast majority of women dwelling in these venues are either gold diggers, party girls, drug addicts, or have a personality that rhymes with witch (Looking back,
I now realize that the source of his bitterness towards women in bars was probably a result of his own social ineptitude – sad!).

He went on to tell me that a viable solution is to meet women in coffee shops and bookstores. This is great if you live in a place where bookstores are the happening place for attractive women to hang out. This, however, was not so for me. If I wanted to meet three or four attractive women, I would have to spend hours waiting. I suspect that I was not alone – I bet many other places in the world are similar. At night, however, I occasionally would join my friends at bars and nightclubs. These places were filled to the gills with attractive women. I would, unfortunately, remember
my mentor’s far from sage caveat: “It is next to impossible to attract women in bars.” And then sit there like a Waldo watching my very average looking friends ATTRACT these beautiful women. I know now that I was limiting my possibilities of meeting desirable women. The higher number of attractive women at a venue, the more possibilities you will have for attracting women you desire. It’s not that bars and nightclubs are always the best places to meet women – there are exceptions. But to rule out environments full of attractive women – such as, bars and nightclubs – because of your own insecurities is to limit your own possibilities of ATTRACTING desirable women. Oh, by the way, many of the women who go to bars and nightclubs are neither gold diggers nor party girls nor drug addicts. Surprisingly, many are sophisticated, intelligent women.

This is the concept that really got to me when Swinggcat first told me about it. There’s this idea that certain places are difficult to meet women in, or that certain women are unattainable, or that we have certain shortcomings. But if you step back and look at reality objectively, you realize that none of that exists in life. Life is neutral. Reality is what it is.

It’s when the human mind becomes involved that things get screwy. I can remember walking into bars and clubs in college and thinking “How can anyone meet girls in these places?” The thing was, I was projecting a barrier into my view of reality that skewed my perception in such a way that I believed it was IMPOSSIBLE to pick-up in an environment such as that, when the truth was that it IS possible, I just didn’t know HOW it was possible.

These barriers we project are a big deal, because they are the things that hold us back from reaching our goals. Yet, they do not exist. They can be taken down as easily as they are put up. This is what I find so fascinating about this observation from Swinggcat. That in a way, because we project these barriers, AND have the ability to take them down, we are, in effect, in control of our own environment. And because of that, there is no excuse not to succeed with our goals, no matter where we are or what they may be.

Notice with both mindset categories, a person projects an external barrier into the world that
often times is nothing more than a figment of his imagination. These barriers are like a dark depressing cloud looming over him.

So this begs the question: What is the proper mindset to have?

The proper mindset is about:

1) Purging your self of worries both about your own shortcomings and possible barriers in the external environment.

2) Focusing on the process of emotions you are taking her through.

3) Focusing on controlling the META-FRAME: the underlying meaning of the interaction.

As I have said in the past: ATTRACTION is not how a woman judges you, it is what you do to her mind and body. The “body” part is the emotions you take her through; while the “mind” part is you controlling the underlying meaning of the interaction.

Basically, what I think Swingg is saying here is this: you need to get out of your head. You need to mentally step back and look at what your belief system is bringing to your situation and adjust it accordingly.

When your mindset (or concern) is nothing more than both getting women so emotionally charged they are wanting and reaching for you, and defining the META-FRAME as you being the one who is the PRIZE in the interaction, you will be well on your way to being a rock star with women.

On more than one occasion I have seen a guy doing fantastic with a woman – he was getting her so
emotionally charged she was chasing him and he was defining the META-FRAME as him being the PRIZE in
the interaction. But then something happened, such as, another guy came up and started talking to the
woman he was attracting so well. Instead of keeping his composure, he stood their nervously, buckling
completely. The women intuitively picked up on his fear and the attraction was lost – she no longer
felt COMPELLED to CHASE him, and no longer saw him as the PRIZE. Her whole experience with this poor
guy had now been recontextualized. Even though this woman was feeling attraction for this guy – I
know she was because I saw it with my own eyes – she would soon rationalize to herself, for example,
that she was never attracted to him in the first place. If he had tried to reinitiate conversation in a Waldo-esque way, she might have responded with something like: “You are a loser; I would never sleep with you in a million years.” But this would only be her rationalizing in retrospect. Had he triggered the right emotions in her again and taken back control of the META-FRAME, she might have slept with him. And afterwards, rationalized how wonderful he was.

Other guys coming in and interrupting your interactions with women is another barrier you project into your environment. Fact of the matter is, other guys are not that hard to deal with if you know how to handle them. That is why I think AMOG (Alpha Male Other Guy) tactics are important, because they allow you to handle these guys in a quick and effective way. Once you know how to Beta some dude who comes up and tries to steal your girl, that barrier that you thought was there before ceases to exist. It’s that simple.

In my book I spell out in great detail the process for creating attraction between you and another woman. There are many other systems out there that claim to teach this. But what they suggest comes across so socially awkward it is kind of like trying to squeeze a square peg into a round hole. Not the
case with what you will learn from me. What I teach is comes from watching people who have exquisite social skills. So, you won’t be doing anything that comes across as socially weird or awkward. I’ll teach you
how to develop your own personality in a way that will not only make you more attractive to women; it will
make you more likable with each and every person you come into contact with. Take a giant step towards the life you deserve by checking out my book today:

http://www.realworldseduction.com

One big problem with many of the tactics out there, especially the ones that lack sufficient field testing, are that they ARE socially awkward. Part of being a good Pick-Up Artist is being able to consistently mimic the skills of a Natural Player with women. We have an advantage most Naturals don’t because we understand what we’re doing and why it works. But Naturals do what they do from the gut, so in that respect, their game is not socially awkward. A Natural will disregard most barries that other guys will usually project onto a location, woman, or situation, and just go in and do what they do best.

It’s for this reason most Naturals are so successful. Disregarding your barriers and respecting the process of attraction and seduction will get you far with women.

Hit the “Grounding” Running

March 25, 2004 by  
Filed under Analysis

So Mystery’s first article for Thundercat’s Seduction Lair has been posted. What a way to start it off, eh? Frankly, I think this is the best write-up from anyone in the community that I’ve read in a long, long time. In fact, I probably haven’t been this excited about a concept since the dark ages when Bishop introduced the groundbreaking tactic of “fractionation” on the SS list! lol.

As you can see, I’ve started an archive for Mystery’s articles to the site under the “Categories” section on the right column of the page. All of the articles Mystery posts here will be archived there for easy reference.

As far as this article goes, I think the concept of “Grounding” is nothing short of brilliant. I mean, the basis of this can be found in Juggler’s archive, but I don’t think I’ve ever heard it explained in such a way before. I can remember driving Mystery back to Hollywood after a night of Strip Club sarging in the valley and listening to him talk about this concept, and just being in awe of it.

Grounding is a powerful concept, and one that I think will change the way people game chicks. There’s a school of thought out there that’s pretty prevalent, about “Never give a girl a direct answer, except for NO,” which I think in the long term is counter-productive to picking up women (I know I’ve blown myself out of a few sets by doing this). Grounding is really powerful because not only does it strengthen rapport and connection with your target, but it also SUCKS them into your reality. It creates YOUR story, in which your target becomes a character. It forces them to relate to YOU! Which means that they are chasing you.

I’ve gotten to experiment with this idea of Grounding a bit, and so far, I’m liking the results. You do have to put some thought into it. But another benefit is that it really is YOUR story. One person’s Grounding routine is different from everyone elses, and that makes you unique. Something that’s very important when gaming a girl, because it makes you stand out from the crowd.

Now onto some thoughts I want to cover from Myster’s article.

Mystery wrote:
Thundercat’s misunderstanding between a person’s customized style and the game plan or method he uses to systematically convey his unique personality concerns me. This is because only a few days ago did we share a 3:00am meal at a diner after our visit to an exotic dance club together.

During our meal Thundercat himself admitted that he doesn’t possess a strong identity as I do. I will attempt to resolve his misunderstanding between STYLE and METHOD as well as reveal some insights on how to specifically customize material to convey a unique identity (for both you and my friend Thundercat). Once you customize your material to fit your chosen “strong identity” will you no doubt make others who watch you work wrongfully assume it is your particular identity that gets you the girls and not the method that powers the conveying of it.

Mystery is right. As a seducer, I don’t feel I have a strong identity yet because so much of this stuff is outside my reality of what is possible. Like so many other guys out there, I struggle with inner game issues and self-limiting beliefs daily. When I see Mystery work his stuff, it really is amazing to witness.

When Mystery makes the distinction between “Style” and “Method,” I think it’s an important one. Mystery has a method, and it is not only teachable, but it WORKS. The post of mine Mystery was referring to was my observations on how Mystery himself creates his value in sarges. I think that Mystery has DEFINITELY created a style that best suits him. But when you see his style in action, though it may be representative of his method, it is so foriegn to the average guy, that it is almost on a different level of reality. Which is why I think Tyler is so popular, because he can do the same thing as Mystery because TD follows roughly the same method, but in a way TD’s STYLE is more relatable to the average guy because it isn’t tailored to things like outrageous clothes and magic tricks.

The fact is, you don’t need magic tricks for Mystery Method to be effective, and I think Tyler is representative of that. But I’ve been out with Mystery before, and he has geared himself so completely to the process of Picking Up women, that he can blow a guy out of set just by walking within eyesight of the girl! I don’t know about you guys, but he’s the ONLY person I’ve ever seen do that. And it’s for that reason I have a hard time relating to Mystery’s style of Pick-Up. It’s almost like he’s a superhero with that kind of a skillset. His style that he’s tailored for himself is so amazing and so effective, that I feel it’s almost removed from the grasp of us mere mortals.

That’s why I find PUAs like Style and Tyler Durden so fascinating. These guys are some of the best in the game. They are both student’s of Mystery, and more or less follow Mystery Method. But they are able to achieve great success using styles of pick-up that I feel ARE within my grasp to learn, which was the point of the original post that Mystery quoted.

Read more

Hit the “Grounding” Running

March 25, 2004 by  
Filed under Analysis

So Mystery’s first article for Thundercat’s Seduction Lair has been posted. What a way to start it off, eh? Frankly, I think this is the best write-up from anyone in the community that I’ve read in a long, long time. In fact, I probably haven’t been this excited about a concept since the dark ages when Bishop introduced the groundbreaking tactic of “fractionation” on the SS list! lol.

As you can see, I’ve started an archive for Mystery’s articles to the site under the “Categories” section on the right column of the page. All of the articles Mystery posts here will be archived there for easy reference.

As far as this article goes, I think the concept of “Grounding” is nothing short of brilliant. I mean, the basis of this can be found in Juggler’s archive, but I don’t think I’ve ever heard it explained in such a way before. I can remember driving Mystery back to Hollywood after a night of Strip Club sarging in the valley and listening to him talk about this concept, and just being in awe of it.

Grounding is a powerful concept, and one that I think will change the way people game chicks. There’s a school of thought out there that’s pretty prevalent, about “Never give a girl a direct answer, except for NO,” which I think in the long term is counter-productive to picking up women (I know I’ve blown myself out of a few sets by doing this). Grounding is really powerful because not only does it strengthen rapport and connection with your target, but it also SUCKS them into your reality. It creates YOUR story, in which your target becomes a character. It forces them to relate to YOU! Which means that they are chasing you.

I’ve gotten to experiment with this idea of Grounding a bit, and so far, I’m liking the results. You do have to put some thought into it. But another benefit is that it really is YOUR story. One person’s Grounding routine is different from everyone elses, and that makes you unique. Something that’s very important when gaming a girl, because it makes you stand out from the crowd.

Now onto some thoughts I want to cover from Myster’s article.

Mystery wrote:
Thundercat’s misunderstanding between a person’s customized style and the game plan or method he uses to systematically convey his unique personality concerns me. This is because only a few days ago did we share a 3:00am meal at a diner after our visit to an exotic dance club together.

During our meal Thundercat himself admitted that he doesn’t possess a strong identity as I do. I will attempt to resolve his misunderstanding between STYLE and METHOD as well as reveal some insights on how to specifically customize material to convey a unique identity (for both you and my friend Thundercat). Once you customize your material to fit your chosen “strong identity” will you no doubt make others who watch you work wrongfully assume it is your particular identity that gets you the girls and not the method that powers the conveying of it.

Mystery is right. As a seducer, I don’t feel I have a strong identity yet because so much of this stuff is outside my reality of what is possible. Like so many other guys out there, I struggle with inner game issues and self-limiting beliefs daily. When I see Mystery work his stuff, it really is amazing to witness.

When Mystery makes the distinction between “Style” and “Method,” I think it’s an important one. Mystery has a method, and it is not only teachable, but it WORKS. The post of mine Mystery was referring to was my observations on how Mystery himself creates his value in sarges. I think that Mystery has DEFINITELY created a style that best suits him. But when you see his style in action, though it may be representative of his method, it is so foriegn to the average guy, that it is almost on a different level of reality. Which is why I think Tyler is so popular, because he can do the same thing as Mystery because TD follows roughly the same method, but in a way TD’s STYLE is more relatable to the average guy because it isn’t tailored to things like outrageous clothes and magic tricks.

The fact is, you don’t need magic tricks for Mystery Method to be effective, and I think Tyler is representative of that. But I’ve been out with Mystery before, and he has geared himself so completely to the process of Picking Up women, that he can blow a guy out of set just by walking within eyesight of the girl! I don’t know about you guys, but he’s the ONLY person I’ve ever seen do that. And it’s for that reason I have a hard time relating to Mystery’s style of Pick-Up. It’s almost like he’s a superhero with that kind of a skillset. His style that he’s tailored for himself is so amazing and so effective, that I feel it’s almost removed from the grasp of us mere mortals.

That’s why I find PUAs like Style and Tyler Durden so fascinating. These guys are some of the best in the game. They are both student’s of Mystery, and more or less follow Mystery Method. But they are able to achieve great success using styles of pick-up that I feel ARE within my grasp to learn, which was the point of the original post that Mystery quoted.

Read more

Blown Out by Buying Temperature

March 22, 2004 by  
Filed under Analysis

Alphaman had a post on mASF which I checked out because it had an interesting subject. Basically, Alphaman had an experience where he was blown out of a set before he even opened it.

Alphaman writes
I had a rather strange experience at a club the other night.

I walk up and approach a 3 set standing near the dance floor.

Alphaman: (makes eye contact)
HB: uh uh… go away… please leave now(waving arms back and forth)
Alphaman: whatever (walks away)

I don’t really care all that much if I get rejected, though it was awfully weird being rejected so violently without me even saying anything.

Here’s the bad part:
She kept acting like this all night everytime I walked past her(giving me massive negative social proof.) I even went to another club in hopes of salvaging the evening, but unfortunately so did she.

Any ideas on how I should have handled this?

So Neo-Rio chimes in with a very interesting analysis of why this happened to him…

Read more

Change Her Behavior

March 19, 2004 by  
Filed under Analysis

You know, I’ve read a lot of posts by Neo-Rio, and have never failed to be impressed by what this guy has to say. He is probably my favorite poster on mASF, because 9 times out of 10, I always go away from his posts having learned something I did not know before. But I found a post from him today in my surfing that really blew my mind. It’s quite simple, yet very profound…

Read more

Subtle Signs She’s Not Interested

March 18, 2004 by  
Filed under Analysis

You know, I like to read AskMen.com. Sometimes it has good information, but the “Dating and Relationships” section is always good for a laugh. One of their latest articles is by a guy named Oliver Jameson who wrote “The Top 10 Subtle Signs She’s Not Interested.” I’ve decided to break it down here using PUA logic.

Enjoy.

Read more

Subtle Signs She’s Not Interested

March 18, 2004 by  
Filed under Analysis

You know, I like to read AskMen.com. Sometimes it has good information, but the “Dating and Relationships” section is always good for a laugh. One of their latest articles is by a guy named Oliver Jameson who wrote “The Top 10 Subtle Signs She’s Not Interested.” I’ve decided to break it down here using PUA logic.

Enjoy.

Read more

« Previous PageNext Page »