Blown Out by Buying Temperature

Alphaman had a post on mASF which I checked out because it had an interesting subject. Basically, Alphaman had an experience where he was blown out of a set before he even opened it.

Alphaman writes
I had a rather strange experience at a club the other night.

I walk up and approach a 3 set standing near the dance floor.

Alphaman: (makes eye contact)
HB: uh uh… go away… please leave now(waving arms back and forth)
Alphaman: whatever (walks away)

I don’t really care all that much if I get rejected, though it was awfully weird being rejected so violently without me even saying anything.

Here’s the bad part:
She kept acting like this all night everytime I walked past her(giving me massive negative social proof.) I even went to another club in hopes of salvaging the evening, but unfortunately so did she.

Any ideas on how I should have handled this?

So Neo-Rio chimes in with a very interesting analysis of why this happened to him…

Neo-Rio writes:
Ha ha! I get this all the time.
When a woman bitches you out for whatever reason, it means you’ve hit buying temperature, and she’s already thinking about sex.
GOOD FOR YOU! You did this without even trying!

Most guys come to the boards here to find out how to attract women in the first place… but guys like you and me, when presented with this situation don’t really have to be cocky & funny at all. In fact we have to concentrate more on doing rapport and comfort building.

First, what I would do is approach this chick and just LJBF her. Believe me, she’s already thinking about sex, and realising in her mind that she doesn’t have the self-esteem to keep you… she’s written herself out. ASD already peaked.
You have to LJBF her in order to screen her properly, and let her validate herself. Then you have to lay it on thick about how great she is etc. etc. and tell her why you think she’s OK.
SO you’d just go up to her and say “Let’s just be friends, OK?” and then shake her hand. Don’t try to game her… just ask boring questions to her like what do you do, etc. and don’t try to liven things up with routines.

Really, this is like gaming an UG… if you’re a good looking guy, you don’t need to have personality (But it helps), cause if you are both ok looking and have personality, it can work against you by pushing her buying temp over the levels instantly (as in this situation)

So just LJBF her and then let her seduce you… dropping hints now and then that you dig her and want to see her. She will do the rest.

So I find this theory quite interesting. The notion that a girl who is instantly attracted to you would blow you out EARLY ON or even RIGHT AWAY because her Anti-Slut Defense was flaring up is quite fascinating. Of course, being a rather average looking guy, I don’t think I’ve ever run into this. But for good looking guys, this could very well be a common occurence. Neo-Rio’s solution to this seems to be quite a good one. But his disertation doesn’t end here.

This whole field of PU is actually really interesting because it is completely at odds with the Cocky and Funny camp of PU. The C&F camp of PU works great for guys who are skinny, weak, lack confidence and are unattractive.

But for guys who already look good and have the confidence, we’re more likely to hit buying temp too quickly and get flaked on… or be cocky and funny to the point where eventually for whatever reason the chick blows us out EVEN THOUGH she was really into us.

Women are bitches because they know that most guys will actually fall for that, and start kissing their ass. When you don’t do that, then they freak out and run away cause they don’t know how to handle a guy who is different from all the others. It SEEMS like a catch-22 because you’re almost damned if you do and damned if you don’t…. the only solution I have found to deal with that is just to stress LJBF right at the start, and let the chick get comfortable with me. For me, C&F and negging etc is on automatic pilot so I don’t need to try anything there.
It’s almost funny to LJBF a chick as soon as you sense resistance in her… even more funny when she acts like a bitch and you say “Excuse me, but will you stop hitting on me?”… it’s funny because women who use C&F themselves appear on OUR radar as bitches.

What I DO have to do though is be friendly immediately and let her tranfer her already obvious sexual feelings onto me at her own pace. She will talk herself into bed at this point. Also, it pays to PLAY DUMB!

Have you ever seen a fat ugly guy, built like a brick-shithouse who looks like he is half stoned all the time, and seems to pull women by doing the all the AFC things in the book? And then were you surprised that he gets laid ALL THE TIME?
I know such a guy… let’s just call his method the DUMB JOCK method because that’s what it is.

There’s an interesting interaction that goes on when you issue LJBF to a chick who you feel is being a bitch immediately. Because she is really thinking SEX straight from the start… when you say LJBF it shows her that ONLY SHE WAS THINKING OF SEX! This is the same effect as having patterned a chick into thinking of sex while making it sound like a normal conversation!

Also I have noticed that approaching women with intention to LJBF them actually is very relieving with no pressure… if you do this enough there is less pressure on you to try and get the chick, and more pressure on her to seduce you.

AFC moves in this context are actually pretty powerful, but only IF YOU DON’T KNOW WHY you are feeling what you are feeling. I say that because SEX has to be HER IDEA… you, on the other hand, have to be “clueless” about these “strange” feelings you are having (NOT!) for her , and you cannot really explain to her why you really feel like stroking her hair or anything like that, or taking her back to your place for some reason.
As women are self-referential she will automatically find a reason why you are feeling these things… and she will think that it is HER! Then she gets all excited about you because she thinks that you are completely unaware that she has seduced you… whereas in reality YOU SEDUCED HER!

Also, here she may force you to supplicate. As usual, DON’T do it (you still want to be the challenge you suggest) but you have to let her down easily. Not blast her for shit-testing (again, she shit tests because she has ASD and is insecure). You can use the LJBF frame here…. as if you are “just friends” she has NO reason to shit-test you in the first place…. until she’s isolated at your place.
Speaking of which it is very easy to isolate a chick when you are “just friends”… if she resists even THIS, then you have to work on more C&T, or LJBF her again… just to remind her.

Also remember that LJBF is the frame necessary until you get isolation. Also, keep pretending to fall in love for her, and drop a few AFC signals AT RANDOM. I cannot stress it ENOUGH that any hints that you like her happen at complete random and NOT due to her shit-testing you. You keep your freebies random and she will be captivated and confused by you… trying to figure out a tactic of getting more attention from you on a consistant basis, because shit-testing is not working. Of course, she never will find a way because you are deliberately being random.

NOTE: This method really only works for guys who hit a chick’s buying temp too quickly, or accidently.

If she flakes over the phone, leave a message and sound defeated :
“Hey I’m calling you back. By the way, I don’t like it when people don’t call me back. I mean, it’s bad enough when a female friend doesn’t call me back, but it’s even worse when a girl I really like doesn’t do it. It really breaks me up inside.” Then HANG UP.

LJBF (Let’s Just Be Friends) is a powerful tactic if used right. It’s a very “Under the Radar” thing to do, and most AFCs do it naturally. It’s one thing to befriend a girl with a gameplan on transitioning that to sex in mind (indeed, if she’s already at a high buying temperature and you LJBF her, the two of you aren’t really friends, so it’s easy to break out of that frame). The problem most guys fall into is the fact that they actually get stuck in the “Friend” frame if the girl isn’t instantly attracted to them.

In fact, I’d argue a better term for Neo-Rio’s LJBF thing here is more of a “Comfort/Rapport” transition than anything else. It’s where you set aside game and try to relate to the girl on a more natural, social level. It can be a good tactic, you just have to know how to use it.

Anyway, you can check out the whole thread here.