Great Anti-Slut-Defense Reframe

February 15, 2010 by  
Filed under Tips & Tricks

TVA Oslo over on the mASF forums has a great tip for getting past a girl’s last-minute Anti-Slut Defense (ASD).  Check it out:

TVA Oslo writes:

Most ASD is due to her being affraid of what her friend thinks of her when she does a sexual act. A girl can avoid having sex with you because she is very affraid of what her entourage will think of it. Most men love bragging (I do too, but I never tell who I fucked, so it doesn’t count, I just say I fucked a girl). Men brags, girlfriends find out about it, especially in social cirles. But this one will also work in non-social circle settings.

Fact is. If none of her friends knows about anything you’ve done with a girl, they won’t judge your sweatheart.

This technique is a way to show her that you will not tell her friends. It’s very simple. Everyone can do it right now. No risks!

Here is what you do.
When you know it’s on, almost close to getting a lay (around final escalations, or at a point were things are turning VERY sexual) and you feel you don’t have controle of the ASD (like she does have ASD symptoms or actually get an ASD kick), try this:

TVA: What ever happen tonight between us… please do me a favor.
HB: Which
TVA: Don’t tell ANYONE about it okey
HB: (100% guarrantee she will complie on this one) No I won’t
TVA: I don’t want anyone to know anything about my private life. There is nothing wrong with you, but I like to keep things for myself… can you promise me that?
HB: Yeah
TVA: really! I beg you to do it
HB: I will
TVA: thanks you are lovely (go kino… reward good behaviour with horniness remember… no more ASD… gogogo)

Girls are affraid of what her friend will think of her. By proving you will not tell anyone, is a good way to get rid of the ASD. By begging her to not tell anyone, you are the one who cares about it. You reframed it. You are the one who don’t want anyone to know about what you do in private. This projects that you will not tell anyone since you are the one begging her to keep quiet about it. Pretty easy concept right?

Tell me if you don’t understand. I think you will, but you never know.

A pitfall is (even if they are rare):

TVA: What ever happen tonight between us… please do me a favor…
HB: It won’t happen anything tonight (clear sign of no sexual attraction, but if you want to keep trying, keep reading)
TVA: I am not saying it will, but people have that magical process, when they lose controle of their horniness, nothing wrong with that, it’s awesome, it just happens you know.Completly okey I just want to make sure that if that happen, it happens in good conditions and we keep it secret. (and on and one to sexual reframing, DAFS in advanced in the archive on this technique)

Gogo escalation… no more ASD.

Have fun!

One important thing to note about this post is the re-frame here.  For those of you new to the game, think of it like this… the girl has a “frame of mind” that there are negative connotations to sleeping with you.  Hense the “anti-slut defense” popping up.  This post gave a great example of how to “re-frame” that objection to you sleeping with her.  In essence, you frame the situation in a different way that makes it okay for her to do what you want her to.

Re-framing is a great way to get around ANY objection a girl has.  Good salesmen re-frame all the time.  Whenever a customer objects to something, they re-frame it so it becomes a benefit as opposed to an objection.

What TVA Oslo does here is he reframes the situation so that the girl knows whatever happens between them will remain intimate and private.  So she doesn’t have to worry about word getting out that she may have partaken in “slutty” behavior amongst her friends.  But he frames it in such a way where privacy and intimacy is IMPORTANT to him!  He’s basically taking what the girl feels she needs and adopting it for himself.  Very slick here.

Can you guys think of any other good reframes for common objections?

How To Escape Being “Friended”

February 12, 2010 by  
Filed under Tips & Tricks

A poster named Regal had a great tip on mASF about avoiding having a girl “Friend” you when you’re trying to get sexual with her.

Regal writes:

I’ve never really been the kind of guy who got the “Let’s just be friends” speech — I’m typically too aggressive / inconsiderate to realistically be considered “friends” material by women.

That said, I’ll hear it occassionally if I’m escalating with a girl who’s trying to resist me — maybe she wants to slow things down because she likes me as a boyfriend, or maybe she’s in a committed relationship or has reservations about me for some other reason or she just hasn’t decided she’s ready to sleep with me yet.

When you get something like, “Maybe it’s better if we’re just friends,” or, “I think you’d make a good friend,” there’s one easy, powerful statement you can make to shut that down and communicate your intentions:

“I don’t want to be your friend.”

Say it with a half-smile and bedroom eyes… and be sexy about it.

Nice guys won’t use this line, because they’re too scared to risk losing the girl in question from their lives by telling her they don’t want to be her friend. “Oh no, if I tell her I don’t want her as a friend, she’ll leave me!” they think. Then, they keep her as a friend while she sleeps with some other, stronger man.

When you tell her this, you instantly show her you’re not one of those guys.

Another reason it’s a strong statement is that it makes it clear what you DO want; if you’re spending time with her, touching her, laughing with her, but you don’t want to be her friend, there’s only one other thing you CAN be.

And you also force her to make a choice. She knows now that you’re not going to be her friend. She also knows that it’s your intention to sleep with her. If she chooses to stay with you, she’s accepting your advances. So, in making this statement, you force her to make a conscious decision to accept your advances. And since the force of inertia means it’s a lot easier for her to stay and accept it than fight it and leave, unless she hates your guts she’s not going to go.

Obviously, this won’t work if she doesn’t actually LIKE you… but if you’re sexy and you’re doing what you should be doing, this is a strong statement that swats objections out of the way and ramps up her attraction for you. It’s lain along the path to a few lays for me, and I don’t hear this objection a whole lot.

Next time you do, give it a try…

I couldn’t agree with this more.  Too often, guys allow the girl they are with to set the frame.  When she says she just “wants to be friends,” most guys accept that as being true and try to deal with it.  What Regal is suggesting here is totally dismissing the premise of that frame entirely and having her choose to accept your frame or not.

Good stuff.

Angel Eye’s Source Of Fun Routine

July 24, 2008 by  
Filed under Tips & Tricks

Angel Eyes has an interesting post over on his blog talking about a method he uses to engage groups at bars.  It pretty much involves buying the group a round of drinks, but it seems like a pretty good icebreaker, especially for a group approach.

Angel Eyes writes:

My “Source Of Fun Method”

It’s pretty easy.

You just walk up to the bar… and you look to the nearest group (it
doesn’t matter if it’s a mixed group or not) that are either sitting or
chatting/standing near the bar and you say…

“Okay, let’s get this party ROLLIN’… who’s up for a shot?”

… and you by the group a shot.

And, since you’re buyin’, you can accuse and tease people if they get girlie shots… or just flat out refuse to buy them.

After words… give everyone high fives and say something like…

“That’s what I’m talkin’ bout… nobody gets bored on MY watch.”

I know some of the haters out there will poo-poo all over this method, and yes, it does seem to go against some of the "pua mentality," but I think if you can afford to buy a group a round of shots, its probably pretty darn effective.  Go and read Angel Eye’s post, its pretty long and detailed.

Hand Holding Routine

July 22, 2008 by  
Filed under Tips & Tricks

Poster Sonics over on mASF shared a great routine for holding hands that he got from a girl.  Check it out:

Sonics writes:
My buddy and I met a two set and pulled them out of a concert to a local bar and on the way to our cars one of the girls ran her little routine on me

Check it out…

HB: Interlock your fingers (palm to palm with your fingers interlocked)
Me: [I interlocked my fingers]
HB: [examines] See you and I could never hold hands, you’re dominant and I’m submissive, when your left thumb is over your right thumb you’ve got a dominant personality, when I cross mine, my right thumb goes over my left thumb. See [shows me her interlocked hands] Watch [she grabbed my hand]
HB: Actually, it doesn’t feel that bad.

That’s her routine

Hand hold accomplished, haha.

We then held hands as I took her through the various styles of hand holding finally stopping at my personal favorite, letting the girl grab onto your pinky and ring finger.

I didn’t even think of it as a possible routine of hers until this morning.

I gotta admit, that’s a pretty good one.  Nice way to open up kino.  Fun.  Cute.  Simple.  I like it!

How To Win Arguments With Women

July 22, 2008 by  
Filed under Tips & Tricks

Its one of the biggest questions men everywhere have – how do you win arguments with women?  Well, it seems long time poster Neo-Rio over on mASF may have found a pretty good formula for doing so.

Check it out…

Read more

Sinn’s Seduction Frames

July 21, 2008 by  
Filed under Tips & Tricks

Sinn is doing a series of videos on different meta-frames you can use in creating attraction with women.  There’s some good stuff in here.  Check it out…

Sinn’s Seduction Frames

July 21, 2008 by  
Filed under Tips & Tricks

Sinn is doing a series of videos on different meta-frames you can use in creating attraction with women.  There’s some good stuff in here.  Check it out…

Kino & Body Language Tips

July 14, 2008 by  
Filed under Tips & Tricks

Over on the Seduction Bible, I found an interesting article called "An Introduction To Using Kino" written by some guy called the Dicknotist.  (Yes, that’s what he’s calling himself)  Apparently, he too has a blog which you can check out here.

Anyway, I read the article about Kino and wanted to say a thing or two about it.  Here’s a clip…

The Dicknotist writes:
When I think of touch, I imagine that my hands are like paintbrushes
plastering my emotions onto her body.  Call me the Jackson Pollack of
seduction: I paint her arms her arms and torso now so that I can
sprinkle some more on her face later…with my other special brush.  So,
when first talking to a girl, I will often just lightly touch her outer
arms and torso with my fingers as I’m talking to her.  I see it as
expressive: you touch her as you talk to emphasize important points.
That touch is more subtle and friendly, aimed at just making her
comfortable and more trusting.  During high points in the interaction,
however, your touch should become more appreciative.

Touch serves two purposes: to emphasize what you’re saying to her
and to appreciate her.  An example of appreciation could be that in
talking to her, she reveals that she works as a nurse.  That
immediately peaks your interest as your mom was a nurse and you realize
the resiliency and compassion necessary for the job.  Rather than just
telling her how awesome that is, you should also touch her arm and hold
it there a few seconds longer than usual and perhaps even stroke it.

Expressive touch is like a period: light and quick.  Appreciative
touch is like an exclamation point, lasting a good 2-3 seconds.  Yet
the point isn’t for you to have this in your head while talking to a
woman but to give you a context for which touch can amplify and
supercharge your game.

When you touch her, touch her as if you’re already making love to
her.  Cup your hand as you touch her back and cup the back of her
shoulder blades.  Don’t forget her sensitive spots, including her inner
arms, behind her knees, the skin fold on the other side of her elbow.
Later on in the interaction, touching her neck, ears, thighs, breasts
will amplify her desire.  Don’t be afraid to graze her breasts!  Graze
them now so you can glaze them later.

You know, there is something about Kino that a LOT of guys out there NEVER TELL YOU.  And that is this…

Kino is all about CALIBRATION.

Yes, yes, all this flowerly language might be true to an extent, but here’s the deal… you are able to guage what your trust/comfort level is with a girl based on your ability to kino her.

If you go to touch the girl, and she is obviously not comfortable, that tells you that you have some work yet to do.

If you kino her and she’s comfortable with it, that means you’re doing the right thing.

So bottom line – kino is first and foremost a TOOL to see how well you’re doing when it comes to buidling the all important trust & comfort with a girl.

Secondly, once you know the girl is comfortable around you, proper kino will MAGNEFY the connection between you two, and can be used to escalate physical intimacy, when done RIGHT.

There are different levels of "invasiveness" with kino, and the more invasive you can get, the better your chances of making out with the girl.

Non-invasive kino is when you touch the hands, wrists, knee, or shoulder.

Mildly invasive kino is the lower back, the back, the forearm & elbow, the calf, and the neck.

Invasive kino is the face, the belly, the inner thigh, the hip, the lips, the ear, the butt, and the chest.

Understand – kino is the method by which you figure out where the girl is emotionally.  A girl who’s "feeling" you and into you will allow invasive kino, whereas a girl who’s not that comfortable with you will just allow non-invasive kino.

So learn to use your touch as a way to guage and calibrate.  Emotions are what create attraction, not touching, but touching will tell you where the girl is at emotionally.

Why You Can’t Generate Attraction

July 9, 2008 by  
Filed under Tips & Tricks

Some guy named Eric Disco wrote an interesting article over on his blog about why he thinks people can’t generate attraction.

The premise of the article is that you can’t generate attraction because you’re already a naturally attractive guy, and you just need to display this to get people attracted to you.

Overall – I have to agree with Eric’s conclusions.  Its a good article and you’ll definitely want to read it when you get a chance.

Why You Can’t Generate Attraction

July 9, 2008 by  
Filed under Tips & Tricks

Some guy named Eric Disco wrote an interesting article over on his blog about why he thinks people can’t generate attraction.

The premise of the article is that you can’t generate attraction because you’re already a naturally attractive guy, and you just need to display this to get people attracted to you.

Overall – I have to agree with Eric’s conclusions.  Its a good article and you’ll definitely want to read it when you get a chance.

First Date Tips…

July 9, 2008 by  
Filed under Tips & Tricks

I found an interesting article about why movies aren’t good first date ideas, and it got me thinking…

I’ve NEVER thought going to the movies on a first date was a good idea.  EVER.  I’m a huge movie fan, so I never wanted to "mix my pleasures."  Once you and the girl have been dating for a while, its fun to go to a movie – but the first THREE DATES are so important, you don’t want to squander that time sitting in a dark room for two hours and not talking.

Personally, I don’t recommend going to a movie on a date until after you’ve already established emotional connections with the girl you’re dating.  Once you two have a good rapport going, the whole "dinner and a movie" thing can, in fact, work.

But the first couple dates need to be spend doing the following things:

1.  Building comfort
2.  Deepening rapport
3.  Building attraction

In order to do this, you’re going to need to TALK and INTERACT with the girl you’re dating.  And movie theaters aren’t the best place to do that.

If you want to watch a movie, invite her over to your place to watch a video.  One of the things I like to do is figure out what TV shows my girls enjoy, and invite them to come over to my place and watch them with me.  (It helps that I have a DVR, because often times a girl may be working or have some type of commitment during the show, but she can come over later, or even the next day to watch it.)

A good first date is doing something simple and relaxed, like meeting for drinks.  Some people like to meet at coffee shops, and that’s fine.  I actually PREFER restaurants with bars in them.  This way, you can meet for a causal drink, even get a table, and if things are going well, you can turn it into a "dinner date."

As a side note – I also like to take a first date somewhere that’s close to another bar.  This way, if drinks/dinner goes well, I can invite her to join me at this other bar and "mini-date" her.  This is a great time distortion tactic that makes the first date feel like two dates – remember, every time you change the date venue, it feels like you two have been dating longer than you really have!

I actually have a whole "three date system" over in my Consistent Close course that works very well for me.  If you guys are interested in figuring out how to amp up attraction over the course of three dates, you’ll definitely want to check it out.

How To Be An Attractive Bald Man

January 23, 2008 by  
Filed under Tips & Tricks

Being a bald dude myself, I can totally relate to guys who are losing their hair, and all the insecurity that goes with it.  Most guys think women don’t like bald guys, but this simply isn’t true.  However, I ran across a post by a guy named Klutch who made some very good points about baldness.

Check it out…

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Rules Of The Game – Mission 1

December 19, 2007 by  
Filed under Tips & Tricks

So I guess those rumors about David Faustino were true.  Turns out he’s making a series of viral Myspace Videos for Stylelife, Neil Strauss’s company.  The first episode pits him against his taller, better looking counterpart, Corin Nimick from Parker Lewis Can’t Lose.  The two go out to see who can pick up the most girls.  The catch?  David has to do it with a dildo strapped to his head.

Rules Of The Game – Episode 1: Be A D–khead

Add to My Profile | More Videos

So Bud Bundy Vs.  Parker Lewis.  The Outcome?  Well, let’s just say that Parker Lewis CAN Lose!  (Ha, ha, okay, someone had to say it!)

Getting Stuck During Conversations

August 14, 2007 by  
Filed under Tips & Tricks

A guy named Untamed posed a pretty common sticking point up on mASF about faltering in conversations after the initial opener.

Untamed writes:
I am having this problem lately which i get stuck during first few minutes of the set..

right after opening, I start telling stories or run routines or so fourth.. if they don’t buy it..and not cooperate, i get silent and eject..

i know it’s the wrong thing to do but i am getting a problem talking without finding a common thing we are both interested in it, can help create attraction..

I am not sure about asking too many questions about herself.

Anyone got a good advice ?

I see this type of thing happen time and time again with guys who are new to seduction.  They bull-charge right in with canned material, and then get stuck when the girl doesn’t respond in the expected manner.

First off, this needs to be pointed out – routines are not meant just to keep your gums flapping!

Seriously, your goal with canned material isn’t just to talk AT the girl.  Rather, it’s to ENGAGE the girl.  Get her interested in what you have to say and offer.  Walking up to a chick and saying "Gosh, did you see that fight outside?" isn’t about trying to create attraction and get her horny for you.  It’s about engaging her in a conversation she finds interesting.

That is the true purpose of routines and patterns – to give you a way to connect.

But it’s not just what you say that’s important.  It’s HOW you say it!  If you deliver a routine like you’re reciting a memorized play, or if you look nervous or feel awkward, or don’t make eye contact, or whatever – it’s not going to help your cause.

You need to smile.  You need to have good energy.  You have to come off as genuine.  And most importantly, you need to have FUN.

Girls respond to positivity.  They respond to excitement.  It doesn’t matter what you say to a girl as long as you say it the RiGHT WAY.  If you’re mumbling your way through a boring story, no one is going to give a care.

This is something that’s solved not only with the right attitude, but the ability to establish rapport.  Everything in seduction stems from the ability to create and deepen rapport.  If your routines aren’t connecting with the girl, you need to change your tactics.

When I get stuck in an interaction, I’ll simply start asking her questions about herself or something I find interesting.  The key here is to actually BE INTERESTED in the answer of the question you’re asking.  Do you really care what she does for a living?  If not, DON’T ASK HER THAT.  Ask her something you are interested in.  Like "Let me ask you – what does a guy have to do to be considered a boyfriend by the average woman?"  I’d like to know that.  Is a boyfriend someone she spends a lot of time with?  Does she have to sleep with a guy before he’s considered a boyfriend?  Etc.

Interesting questions yield interesting conversations.

Even uninteresting questions can yield great results if you actually care about the answer.

But it’s important to remember that not all girls will respond to you.  Beating a dead horse gets you nowhere.  If you find the girl isn’t responding well to you, eject, and move on.  There are lots of girls who WILL respond well to you, and it’s your job to FIND them.

10 Quick Tips To Building Self Confidence

August 7, 2007 by  
Filed under Tips & Tricks

You know, you can never have enough "inner game" tactics.  So when I found this nifty little article on how to build your confidence, I thought I’d post if for everyone to check out.

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