The “Qualifying Compliment” Trap

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Nightblue has a very interesting post up on mASF about someting he calls the “Qualifying Compliment” trap.

Nightblue writes:
This can be a bit advanced but I think everyone should know about this.
Sometimes girls qualify you with a compliment in a way of screening. I noticed its a test/trap really.

Like when she says things like
‘You know my first impression of you wasnt that bright but
now I started to think that you do have some things that I really like about you’ or something similar.

If you answer with a thank you or something like that BOOM you failed. She has the power, you are in the frame where YOU need to work for her.
This can be ok with you, but IMO one of the worst things you can do is allowing the girl to make the rules.

When she qualifies you like that you should immediately break the frame like you know whats going on.
Some answers I give are,
HB[again taking the power by qualifying compliment]: Blah Blah but you do started to make me like you etc.
Me: NO! come on how can *I* be worthy of you? Your WAY too cool for me.
Or
HB:You know youre not like I thought you were, I even think you can be a very cool person now.
Answer: Oh Great! Then I assume Im getting some BOOTAY.
Im gonna call my mom and give her the good news!

You can say ANYTHING as long as it breaks the her qualifying you frame.
Girls add a compliment to it to make you graceful to her qualifying you.
They are really good at this power taking.

This is funny, because I know a guy who’s rather strong with the force who does something very similar. =)

You can read the whole thread on this here.

The “Qualifying Compliment” Trap

Nightblue has a very interesting post up on mASF about someting he calls the “Qualifying Compliment” trap.

Nightblue writes:
This can be a bit advanced but I think everyone should know about this.
Sometimes girls qualify you with a compliment in a way of screening. I noticed its a test/trap really.

Like when she says things like
‘You know my first impression of you wasnt that bright but
now I started to think that you do have some things that I really like about you’ or something similar.

If you answer with a thank you or something like that BOOM you failed. She has the power, you are in the frame where YOU need to work for her.
This can be ok with you, but IMO one of the worst things you can do is allowing the girl to make the rules.

When she qualifies you like that you should immediately break the frame like you know whats going on.
Some answers I give are,
HB[again taking the power by qualifying compliment]: Blah Blah but you do started to make me like you etc.
Me: NO! come on how can *I* be worthy of you? Your WAY too cool for me.
Or
HB:You know youre not like I thought you were, I even think you can be a very cool person now.
Answer: Oh Great! Then I assume Im getting some BOOTAY.
Im gonna call my mom and give her the good news!

You can say ANYTHING as long as it breaks the her qualifying you frame.
Girls add a compliment to it to make you graceful to her qualifying you.
They are really good at this power taking.

This is funny, because I know a guy who’s rather strong with the force who does something very similar. =)

You can read the whole thread on this here.

Sexual Dominance

Demilano has a pretty interesting post on the General Forum of mASF that takes a rather “textbook” look at the role sexual dominance plays in a relationship.

Read more

Anti-Stall Tactics

One of my biggest sticking points is that I’ll get to a certain point in a sarge, and COMPLETELY stall out. We’re talking total brain fart here, folks. The engineer has totally left the train station, and I flounder looking for something to say. At this point, the girl will usually sense the hesitation and I’ll get blown out of set. In fact, we have a term for this known as “stalling out.”

I was discussing this phenomenon with a friend of mine who’s an extremely talented PUA known as Merovingian, and he told me that he has special routines he uses for those situations wich he calls “Anti-Stall Tactics,” (or *AST*, if you wanna mASF it, lol). Anyway, these are lines he uses when he can’t think of where to take the interaction, and I gotta tell you man, this shit is $$$$$MONEY$$$$!

Basically, the concept behind an Anti-Stall Tactic is that you shift the burden of the conversation to your target by getting her to qualify to you and then pulling back without validating her. An example of two Anti-Stall Tactics Merovingian shared with me are:

“Oh, you’re a high maintenence girl.”
and
“You’re such a party girl. I’m through with party girls.”

And then turn your head away. Basically, at this point, the girl will start explaining to you why she isn’t high maintenence or she isn’t a party girl, to try to get you to see that as being the case. But you just pull back and say stuff like “Sure.” or “Okay, whatever you say.” Basically, you keep letting her try to engage YOU. And before you know it, she’s the one who’s trying to keep the conversation going.

This, of course, is only effective if you’ve already HOOKED the girl. If there’s no attraction there, or the girl isn’t into you, this technique won’t work, because there’s no motivation as to why she would want to re-engage you.

Good stuff, huh? I know I’m gonna start working this shit into my PUA vocabulary. =)

Does that work in the USA?

Croatian Pick-Up Artist Shark, assistant instructor of the BadBoy workshops, address the recent controversy about the BadBoy style of PU not working in America.

Shark writes:
Does that method work in U.S.A.??

So I will now clear this dilemma once and for all cause I see many guys asking:”Well does that work for me in my country, maybe it doesn’t caue bla bla” )
Here is the explenation. That can be applied to all possible methods. So if a PARTICULAR method guets YOU reslults in your town it probably works EWERYWHERE.

If some chick is super hot in one country, does she have smaller breasts when she visits U.S.A, does she has bigger ass and her nose turns big, do her teeth become black and her hair smelly…does her gorgeous smile becomes ugly, is her youth transformed into an old women. NO:she is still super hot even if she travels to the Moon!

The same with a man: if a guy is liked by chicks in one place of the world he will be liked in another place of the world….So if a method works in europe it will work in U.S.A. And vice-versa: If a method works in U.S.A. it will work in europe

claiming othervise is as apsurd as thinking that chicks breasts will diminish if she goes somewhere else:))

btw. I lived for a long time in America in New England region.

Shark says he’s going to write more about this in the future to further prove his point. If you wanna hear what others have to say about this, check out the original thread here.

Never Stall Out Again!

Jlaix has a pretty innovative way to keep from forgetting your material while in set, which he’s posted on mASF. Of course, he was flamed for his advice. You be the judge as to if he deserved it…

Read more

PlayboyLA Speaks

PlayboyLA, of Project Hollywood fame, had a great little post on the vaclair. I’m reposting it here with permission from the author.

Playboy writes:
Hey guys -

Greetings to all from Los Angeles….have had a great few weeks travelling to Sydney Australia with TD and Papa giving workshops, and recently throwing the first big party here at Project Hollywood.

As for BadBoy’s post, he is exactly right. Style calls one of the more critical moments in a sarge the “hook point”. This is when you know the girls would rather you stay than leave. How do you know this? If they are giving you massive IOIs, that’s one – or, if they ask you questions (aka IOIs)…you will begin to intuitively understand this, and be able to recognize it more and more as you sarge and gain field experience.

Overall, one point I make a lot when I teach new guys, is that what you are really doing in a sarge is a continuing process of calibrating energy and tension, until it explodes with sex. So, if you gain attraction and transition into rapport (or – comfort and trust as Mystery says) you have established a certain amount of sexual tension, which allows for a certain new level of interaction. Now, if you can sense that “tension” waning for any reason – perhaps she gets distracted by a phone call, or her friend wants to dance blah blah blah – you may have to quickly shift into teasing/flirting etc in order to stoke the fire and keep her from running off. In a club/bar environment, women are accustomed to following “the shiny thing” (credit – Toecutter). If something else becomes “shinier”, you’ll need to act fast…

Overall, calibrate to both the venue and the level of sexual tension. My rule of thumb is to be slightly more interesting than everything else – so, if that is a coffee shop, to be chill and funny – if it is a danceclub – be higher energy and very fucking fun! If the tension drops – for a gazillion reasons – ramp it up with a good natured tease, story, c&f, whatever…

Best to all.

This is an excellent post talking about how to keep girl’s interested in what you have to offer them. I’ve encountered more than one “shiny thing” in my day as it has dragged girl after girl off into the abyss that is the dance floor. And after seeing Playboy in action, I can say he speaks from experience!

No Such Thing as “Rejection”

Neo-Rio posted this sucker in the General forum of mASF:

Neo-Rio writes:
There is no such thing as “rejection”

What there is though:

* Women trying to game you by being C&F or playing hard to get. So, if they’re actively trying to game you, then how is THAT rejection?
* Women thinking about sex too much. If they’re horny, the harder they’ll try to game you… even if sex wasn’t your intention when meeting her. (Which explains why “bitches” simultaneously dress hot and go out and “reject” guys for no reason.)
* Performance anxiety in an attempt to seduce men.

For men, the only rejection possible is SELF-REJECTION.

So really, getting over the fear of “rejection” is understanding that:-

* Not approaching women with the intention of having sex with them UNTIL you have screened them. Get sex off the brain. Concentrate on rapport. This mindset in itself makes approaching effortless and fearless.
* Understanding that being bitched out is actually a GOOD thing, and is nothing bad at all. Her reaction to you is nothing you need to be concerned about, because it (despite all appearances) is actually something good going for you. There is no need to fight back or get angry once you know what’s really going on in her head.
* Take sex out of the equation. By using a neg, or just LJBFing her right from the start, you drop her ASD. Also, you take her sexuality away from her so she can’t use it as a weapon against you.
* Note that by taking sex out of the equation… while you drop her ASD and resistance… you raise her performance anxiety. No longer the old tricks she used to get men are working now! She is now in unchartered territory, which is scary, so be gentle.

Interesting post. I’m not sure I completely agree because I think Neo is giving the girl a little too much power in the interaction with this perspective. I think if you’re getting rejected, it’s most likely the material you’re using isn’t strong enough and the girl isn’t reacting to it like she’s supposed to. As Swinggcat likes to say “It’s not you, it’s the material.”

You can read the whole thread here.

No Such Thing as “Rejection”

Neo-Rio posted this sucker in the General forum of mASF:

Neo-Rio writes:
There is no such thing as “rejection”

What there is though:

* Women trying to game you by being C&F or playing hard to get. So, if they’re actively trying to game you, then how is THAT rejection?
* Women thinking about sex too much. If they’re horny, the harder they’ll try to game you… even if sex wasn’t your intention when meeting her. (Which explains why “bitches” simultaneously dress hot and go out and “reject” guys for no reason.)
* Performance anxiety in an attempt to seduce men.

For men, the only rejection possible is SELF-REJECTION.

So really, getting over the fear of “rejection” is understanding that:-

* Not approaching women with the intention of having sex with them UNTIL you have screened them. Get sex off the brain. Concentrate on rapport. This mindset in itself makes approaching effortless and fearless.
* Understanding that being bitched out is actually a GOOD thing, and is nothing bad at all. Her reaction to you is nothing you need to be concerned about, because it (despite all appearances) is actually something good going for you. There is no need to fight back or get angry once you know what’s really going on in her head.
* Take sex out of the equation. By using a neg, or just LJBFing her right from the start, you drop her ASD. Also, you take her sexuality away from her so she can’t use it as a weapon against you.
* Note that by taking sex out of the equation… while you drop her ASD and resistance… you raise her performance anxiety. No longer the old tricks she used to get men are working now! She is now in unchartered territory, which is scary, so be gentle.

Interesting post. I’m not sure I completely agree because I think Neo is giving the girl a little too much power in the interaction with this perspective. I think if you’re getting rejected, it’s most likely the material you’re using isn’t strong enough and the girl isn’t reacting to it like she’s supposed to. As Swinggcat likes to say “It’s not you, it’s the material.”

You can read the whole thread here.

Going Out Alone

Some dude who goes by Canadianguy posts about going out alone in the General forum of mASF.

Canadianguy writes:
A lot of the time lately, I’m finding I have nobody to go to clubs with on friday or saturday nights. So I usually don’t go, I end up wasting it. LAME.
I need to go out by myself, but when I’ve tried in the past it wasn’t so fun. Any tips on how to make clubbing solo fun?

Sirducer chimes in…

Read more

Opening in a Closed Society

Acolyte had a pretty interesting post in the Advanced forum of mASF about the difficulty of Opening in a “closed-off” atmosphere. I have to admit, this thread interested me because I’ve had similar experiences in certain places that I found “cliquey,” (or however you spell it). Anyway, here’s what he had to say:

Acolyte writes:
As I don’t feel this is a simple, general issue, I’m posting this in advanced. I’m sure if it were simple, my wings and myself would have worked it out already! Formhandle, if you don’t agree with this, please feel free to move it to where you see fit.

Myself and my wings have been hitting our heads time and again in-field. We live in Cape Town – a place known (not only by locals, but also by people in other cities in South Africa) as being, “cliquey”. People go out in order to “be seen”. I don’t know of anyone here that goes out looking forward to MEET PEOPLE and have a good time. The Field-Reports etc that we read here on ASF are TOTALLY non-applicable to here – the ‘scene’ just isn’t like that in our experience.

Opening here is a bloody nightmare. People here are just NOT open to it.

Where we see people making-out in clubs, its with the people they came there with OR someone that managed to by them enough drinks and was good-looking enough that she didn’t run away from his cavemanning throughout the night. And, even in those situations, we don’t see these girls LEAVING with those guys – merely kissing etc. The girls go home the same way they came.

So, how the fuck DO we meet people here? Social groups – school, college, university (and even there you can be in a class all year and never get to speak to everyone). I met many people through the band I used to manage for 3 years – networking. Basically this (as myself and my wings see it), is a result of there needing to be MASSIVE amounts of “familiarity” before people will BEGIN to be open to pursue rapport with you. Otherwise, they’re not interested.

Society here seems to (generally) be very LSE, but with many arrogant jock dickheads – these are the guys responsible for raising these girls Bitch-shields so crazy-high. We go out to clubs and see drunk jock morons groping and feeling their way through the masses, beating their chests and clinking beermugs. Sadly, our “celebrities” here are NOT musicians / actors etc. but are our rugby-players etc. Bummer, hey?

So where does this leave a guy desiring to study pickup? A lot of what we’re seeing here is reminiscent of what TD once described of sarging the high-society clubs in LA. Although, strangely, we can’t work out if we’re getting LOCKUP, or BLOWN-OUT. Strangely I feel its a combination of both.

There doesn’t seem to be any such thing as a singles club here. Even our pool-bars are too loud to talk in (and hence run game (for the most part)).

Mystery speaks of telling a girl his “back-story” (about his carreer etc) for 25 minutes as part of his game…. No. Not gonna happen. Any routine longer than about 3 seconds is waaaaaay too long in our experience.

So, the question stands – How the hell do you open here?

So then Veroxii chimes in with his perspective…

Read more

Is “Fool’s Mate” Bullshit?

Wow, it seems we have a lot of Mystery love on the Lair this week. I guess it’s only appropriate to cap it off with one last, great post from Mystery for the weekend. Of course, things from the Mystery camp may be a bit hard to come by in the oncoming weeks due to Mystery taking a month off from the Internet, so you better enjoy it while it lasts!

This last thread was started by tigger in the Advanced forum on mASF to talk about the concept of “Fool’s Mate” (the idea of getting laid by accident, aka “Getting Lucky,” without the use of skills or tactics). Tyler has some great replies on this thread as well, but the one Mystery wrote really stuck out at me, especially because… well… he gives away part of his upcoming book!!!!!!!

So I guess this is a sneak peak of what you can expect from Mystery’s big book debut, along with some great insight on the topic of “Fool’s Mate.” Read on:

Read more

Is “Fool’s Mate” Bullshit?

Wow, it seems we have a lot of Mystery love on the Lair this week. I guess it’s only appropriate to cap it off with one last, great post from Mystery for the weekend. Of course, things from the Mystery camp may be a bit hard to come by in the oncoming weeks due to Mystery taking a month off from the Internet, so you better enjoy it while it lasts!

This last thread was started by tigger in the Advanced forum on mASF to talk about the concept of “Fool’s Mate” (the idea of getting laid by accident, aka “Getting Lucky,” without the use of skills or tactics). Tyler has some great replies on this thread as well, but the one Mystery wrote really stuck out at me, especially because… well… he gives away part of his upcoming book!!!!!!!

So I guess this is a sneak peak of what you can expect from Mystery’s big book debut, along with some great insight on the topic of “Fool’s Mate.” Read on:

Read more

Why Comfort?

A guy who goes by Gatto posts this question to Mystery:

Gatto writes:
I understand that the feeling of comfort and trust is one of the emotional states that you have to put the chick into.

These emotional states will eventually have to end in an horny or “want to have sex now” state.

My questions are:

1) Is isolation location the only reason why you separated comfort building as a different stage ? (at the end of the mutual attraction stage you isolate to comfort location that should be not too isolated like your house for example and at the end of the comfort stage you isolate to a sex location that she will accept because of the comfort and trust you built.)

2) There are cases in which she may get horny without comfort. I’ll quote MrSex, tell me what you think about it: “I don’t want her to trust me. I want her to enter a mental/emotional state where she wants to get fucked and then I want her to get down into doggie-position. ok, so I am joking there, but bitches are not that smart. they don’t pay that much attention to detail. all they are paying attention to is HOW THEY FEEL because of your presence. what if her “not trusting me” makes her FEEL “this guy is untrustworthy… dangerous… he might fuck me at any time… I feel horny” fuck what she THINKS. it’s all about what she feels.

Mystery responds…

Read more

Developmental Map of PUA, a-la Tyler Durden

Tyler put up a post on the Advanced forum of mASF which I found struck quite a chord with me. This is because I think what he talks about in this post relates almost EXACTLY to what I’m going through right now. I mean, TD always has good posts. But I think this one hits home with lots of guys who are either starting out or feel they are spinning their wheels.

Anyway, the post is as follows…

Read more

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