Why Comfort?

March 26, 2004 by Thundercat
Filed under Tips & Tricks

A guy who goes by Gatto posts this question to Mystery:

Gatto writes:
I understand that the feeling of comfort and trust is one of the emotional states that you have to put the chick into.

These emotional states will eventually have to end in an horny or “want to have sex now” state.

My questions are:

1) Is isolation location the only reason why you separated comfort building as a different stage ? (at the end of the mutual attraction stage you isolate to comfort location that should be not too isolated like your house for example and at the end of the comfort stage you isolate to a sex location that she will accept because of the comfort and trust you built.)

2) There are cases in which she may get horny without comfort. I’ll quote MrSex, tell me what you think about it: “I don’t want her to trust me. I want her to enter a mental/emotional state where she wants to get fucked and then I want her to get down into doggie-position. ok, so I am joking there, but bitches are not that smart. they don’t pay that much attention to detail. all they are paying attention to is HOW THEY FEEL because of your presence. what if her “not trusting me” makes her FEEL “this guy is untrustworthy… dangerous… he might fuck me at any time… I feel horny” fuck what she THINKS. it’s all about what she feels.

Mystery responds…

Mystery writes:
>I understand that the feeling of comfort and trust is one of the emotional states that you have to put the chick into. These emotional states will eventually have to end in an horny or “want to have sex now” state.

You want to get a girl COMFORTABLE ENOUGH to be alone with you in a seduction location (like your bedroom). That way, when you arouse her sexually, you will be in the right location to go full monty. If you arouse in the attraction location, you risk her falling out of arousal state as you move from location to location. keep arousal in SEDUCTION location so you dont have these problems.

>1) Is isolation location the only reason why you separated comfort building as a different stage ?

no. a woman will not want to take the time to build comfort with you if attraction is there first. so you ATTRACT her first (and then demonstrate that you are attracted to her) and then together you build comfort.

>(at the end of the mutual attraction stage you isolate to comfort location that should be not too isolated like your house for example and at the end of the comfort stage you isolate to a sex location that she will accept because of the comfort and trust you built.)

generally speaking now, a woman is not going to come home with you just because she likes you. you need to build comfort so she trusts you wont make her feel uncomfortable should you be alone with her. great question though. shows me you understand the technical issues of JUMPING (from location to location). the details of how to properly go from ATTRACT location to COMFORT location to SEDUCE location via ISOLATIONS, EXTRACTIONS and TIME-BRIDGES are in my seminar. Everything is explains with clarity and reason. Next seminar: NYC this weekend. It would take too long to write it all out (thats why I do seminars – easier to teach and easier to learn … and the book is such a slow process – Im working on it so everyone please be patient – wont be done for a while though).

>2) There are cases in which she may get horny without comfort.

yes there are. but without comfort, she wont trust you enough (nor will her friends) to just go home with you and remain horny. is it asking too much to have a girl feel both attracted and comfortable enough to want to be seduced? if she feels attracted but feels uncomfortable being seduced, you arent goig to get far are you.

>zarathustra_fi> You take the words from my mouth. I was just going to write a post to ask the same questions:

>>I understand that the feeling
>>of comfort and trust is one
>>of the emotional states that
>>you have to put the chick
>>into.

>I think this applies ONLY to 100% psychologically healthy women. Rare stuff nowadays. Anyway one could object that it is all about doing the right screening and this one could be right. After having read this MysteryВґs post I decided I will screen chicks for psychological health at least as hard as for the beauty of their ass.

all you can do is APPROACH and make her attracted to you FIRST. then you can QUALIFY. you cant qualify a girl who doesnt want to be qualified. one step at a time. first make her attracted and then find out if you are attracted to her. it cant go the other way because she wont TALK to you if she isnt attracted to you.

>My problem was more an academic and theoretical one: if you structure the gameplan as mys did you are presupposing that you screen for what he is looking for.

until you approach and attract the girl to you, you cant begin to qualify her to see if you are attracted to her (and if her buying temp is high enough for you to fuck her in 1 hour). you can only qualify her (whether for a ONS or an LTR) after you have OPENED the group, ATTRACTED her and isolated so you can begin to M2F attract (qualify). and if she doesnt fit your criteria (mine is for LTR, others may be for bathroom fuck) then at least you practiced ATTRACTING her even though you later discovered she didnt fit your standard (no matter how low or high it is).

>If someone wanted to
have sex now! with that idiotic great T&A that he has in front
of his eyes maybe doing comfort building is not in order so
the gameplan actually fucks up his desired outcome (i.e. sex
now with “psychologically unhealty” woman with great body)

still, you need to first ATTRACT her before you can find out 1) is she “unhealthy” 2) is she stupid? 3) does she want to fuck you in the bathroom. see? all this is discovered AFTER you have ATTRACTED her to you. if you dont, she wont give you the chance to find out who she is and where she stands.

my ATTRACT STAGE has 3 phases:

1. OPEN: this is where you become a part of her group (hot girls are rarely alone) and disarm the guys
2. F2M ATTRACT: this is where you attract her. she will then want to isolate with you to try to win you over.
3. M2F ATTRACT: this is where you qualify her to see if she meets your standards.

If you want to fuck a girl in the bathroom, you still need to go through the first two phases so that she will want to go through your qualifying process (phase 3). The same goes for women you want to have long term.

>What MrSex writes here is mostly the way I have been seducing women for all my
>life. He says “bitches are not that smart”. I think what Mystery writes here is
>likely to work very well with smart bitches but I am not sure how would it work
>with less smart bitches.

notice how you cannot discover their intelligence until AFTER you have taken the time to qualify them. and notice how she will not ALLOW you to do this until AFTER she is attracted to YOU.

>Exactly. Probably because he is biased toward them and is not interested
in other kinds of sexual relationships, probably because he understands
that sex per se is an animalistc act and he looks for more meaning since for
him is not “a chore” but as simple to get like only to a pu guru could be.

Im not judging whether people want to fuck a girl in the bathroom or build a LTR. everyone has their own criteria to what constitutes a 1 on the binary scale. this isnt an ethics issue. its a TECHINICAL issue regarding PROCESS. you have to get ACCESS to the hotty first. that is why we OPEN and befriend the peergroup. and then we need to ATTRACT her so she will want to jump through our hoops (no matter how few or how many we have for her to jump though) in the M2F phase.

>So, on a structural level, a more comprehensive gameplan would put
comfort building as an optional phase of the seduction stage, BUT
we could also say that an LSE chick for example feels comfortable
interacting with someone that gives her the “harsh bad treatment”.
In that case the structure would be spot on but we must be very
aware of HER meaning of “comfort” that could be, and often is,
different from ours.

In M3 (MM), you build as much comfort as is needed to get her to the seduction location. if she is comfortable with going into the bathroom with you for a quick fuck (and so are you) then off you go. most girls (even my girlfriend of 3.5 yrs wouldnt fuck me in a public bathroom) dont do that, but you wont know if she will til you get to the M2F phase anyways.

>From: zarathustra_fi zarathustra_fi@yahoo.com
>I can even LIST several chicks/situation where the comfort building – which is of GOOD THING, this is not a negative critic – may not work:

- She is looking for a Provider. In this case at the comfort venue she will feel “Okay, I feel good with you but if no providing/supplication from you NO SEX VENUE” (happened to me last week, I nexted her at the first signs of this)
- She is a Gold Digger. Same like the above.
- She is a Taker. Same like the above.
- She is LSE. She will never be able to feel comfort in the venue because she is not looking for comfort but for harsh bad treatment. If too much comfort in the comfort venue she will not come to the sex venue and it will be LJBF. If bad treatment she will come and agree to sex.
- She is unable to express feelings, in psychology this is called ALEXITHYMIA. No way one can build a comfort connection with a chick like this.
- She is LD. She will take the comfort and have the guy wait for CENTURIES before she agrees to the sex venue.

guys, all this is discovered only AFTER you M2F phase her. and all these things are social programming in nature. all handled during the comfort phase. for instance, an exotic dancer wont fuck her customer so you just convince her you arent a customer (even though you entered the club where she works). you overcome her social programs.

>From: Jestor111
>Quite a few. Women need a degree of comfort to fuck a guy. Comfort in the form of them knowing you are NOT dangerous, and safe to be around. Of course, I don’t mean comfort in the form of supplicating and being a harmless nice-guy.

If you BEGIN at COMFORT then you are a NICE GUY. if you begin at ATTRACT and then move to COMFORT you are a MAN. if you begin at ATTRACT and skip comfort you are a PLAYER. if you begin at the end (SEDUCE) you a seducer.

>Other comfort feelings can come from:

>- knowing you go to the same school as her

this is a COMMONALITY … a comfort phase thing.

>- social proof from others, showing you are a popular guy

this is a SECURITY issue.

>- the back-story connection stuff Mystery mentioned (which might actually work better with HSE girls)

this too is COMMONALITY.

good thread.