Proof Women Love Sex!

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Okay, I’m a Howard Stern fan, I admit it.  And ever since he’s moved to an uncensored format on Sirius Satellite Radio, his show has only gotten better.  Today on his show, Howard interviewed two chicks about their views on sex that I found very interesting.  Here’s a clip from the show…

Now, granted, these girls were porno chicks (who are obviously different from regular women in some way), but it’s just an extreme example of something the big guns in the community have been saying for years…

Women Love Sex.

They just love it.  Men love it too, but for some reason, guys tend to think that women are a little bit more reserved than men when it comes to their desires.

Not true.

Ant the big factor in this clip, which I found very interesting, is that when it comes to the ACT of sex, the man is almost incidental.  All women care about is the cock, or the experience, or the sensation.  Now, that doesn’t mean that emotions don’t play a part, but in the physical realm, where pleasure plays a big role, it’s all about the kind of stimulation women receives.

Any guy out there who’s ever made a woman cum knows that after she orgasms, there’s some kind of switch that’s flipped in her head where who you are, what you look like, and what you do doesn’t matter.  She just kind of lets you do anything you want as long as it continues to feel good to her.

There are guys who continue to obsess about their looks, their age, their bank account size, and all that other stuff.  But all you have to do is listen to some women, like the ones in the clips above, talk about sex for a while to realize that the man doesn’t play as big of a role as we may think.  What I mean by that is:  Looks, money, age, weight, etc. don’t matter.  All that matters is whether or not you know how to please her in the sack!

A lot of the very best PUAs know how to subcommunicate their ability to make a woman orgasm and experience pleasure in the bedroom.  That’s all that flirting is, really.  It’s just a guy volunteering the fact that he wants to sexually pleasure a woman in a very playful way.  And women who pick up on that and are game are willing to give it a go with him.

Now, admittedly, I’m not a very good looking guy.  But when I’m in with a girl and start talking about sex, you can really see a change in their eyes where you just KNOW they’re getting horny.  It’s all about introducing that sexual energy into the interaction, and not being afraid to pursue it.

Anyway, I know this is a hot topic, so I want to open up this thread to "healthy" discussion about this subject.

Neil Strauss Sarges Jessica Alba

I found this great video clip of when New York Times best selling author (and the most powerful of the Jedi) Neil Strauss, aka Style, was on the Jimmy Kimmel Live show with Jessica Alba, and actually demonstrated a few things on her.  It wasn’t an out-and-out pick-up, per say, but Style did do a quick value elicitation on her, so if you guys ever run into Jessica Alba, you’ll know what to say.

Check out the video here…

Props to Donovan at the Attraction Chronicles for putting this one up.  I think this clip was very entertaining and funny.  The deck was really stacked against Style, but he pulls it off like the #1 PUA he is.  Any other guy would have crashed and burned in that situation.

Hot Guys, Risky Sex?

Ugly guys of the world, rejoyce!  It seems there’s now scientific evidence that you’ll outlive your better-looking male counterparts.

In a new article, there’s a study done that indicates that men who have a good looks and a good self-image tend to indulge in riskier sexual behavior.

NEW YORK (Reuters Health) – Young men who feel good about their looks are more likely than their peers with a less positive body image to engage in risky sexual behavior, a new study of college students shows.
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The men who were most satisfied with their appearance, and the most appearance-oriented — meaning they were highly invested in their looks and considered appearance to be important — were also the most likely to have sex without condoms and to have sex with multiple partners, Dr. Eva S. Lefkowitz of Pennsylvania State University in University Park and colleagues report.

"There’s kind of a general belief that a positive view of your body is a good thing," Lefkowitz said in an interview with Reuters Health. "We’re not saying that’s not true, but we do think in the case of young men there could be potential negative ramifications of a positive view of one’s body."

Among young women, in contrast, those with a more positive body image were less likely to engage in risky sexual behavior, Lefkowitz and her team found.

The researchers interviewed 434 students, ranging in age from 17 to 19, during their first year of college. Fifty-nine percent reported being sexually active. Just over two-thirds of sexually active students said they didn’t use condoms every time they had sex, while a little over half said they used alcohol while having sex at least some of the time.

While sexually active students reported less dissatisfaction with their looks and a more positive body image on average, "it’s important to point out that we don’t know which comes first," Lefkowitz said. People who feel better about their looks may be more likely to have sex, or being sexually active may confer a better body image, she explained.

As the researchers hypothesized, men with better body images had more lifetime sex partners and were less likely to use condoms during sex, while women who felt more positively about their looks had fewer partners and used condoms more frequently.

The findings show, Lefkowitz and her team conclude, that high self-esteem in terms of appearance may not be protective for young men, but instead may put them in danger of taking risks sexually.

Parents sending sons off to college may want to consider "really emphasizing not just go forth and feel good about yourself, but also within those messages emphasizing the importance of protecting yourself and respect for women," Lefkowitz advised.

In short:  Good looking guys have lots of sex, therefore have a high risk of disease.

Damn, I coulda told them that.  =)

More On The Underscore Banning

So for those of you who care about the fact I got kicked and banned from the Underscore Lounge, I’ve learned a little bit more about the reason behind the banning.

I got this email from jlaix…

jlaix writes:

You claim that you "like" me, yet post some fucked up review about me?
Suure.

BTW Nick and Tyler had absolutely nothing to do with this. I thought you were cool once, but I am no longer your friend. Your blog sucks.

-jeff

So here’s apparently what happened…

The Lounge does an internal audit, and I get vouched for by 4 people, 2 more than what’s required.  But then, Jlaix comes out and leads a charge to have me kicked.

I don’t visit the site too often, so I don’t know about this and don’t defend myself.  Eventually, Jlaix gets enough people on his side to kick me out.

It looks like jlaix did this because I posted an RSD workshop review on my site that didn’t feature him in a very favorable light.  You can check this post out here.

So instead of taking his anger and frustration out on the poor guy who actually wrote the review, Jlaix targets me for retribution in some rather juvenile way.

I never had a beef with Jlaix, always liked the guy.  But when it comes down to it, instead of emailing me or calling me up personally and saying "Dude, why would you post a review like that?" and actually bother confronting me directly, he decides to take the passive-aggressive approach and try to get all his friends to turn against me.

I guess this shouldn’t be a surprise, since it’s the same tactic Tyler uses all the time (just read The Game to see what I’m talking about).

It’s unfortuneate that Jlaix couldn’t be a man and take up his beef with me, he had to go behind my back and get me kicked out of a tight-knit community I was a part of for 3 years because I featured a bad review of him on my site.

So sad.

Lack of Recent Updates

Hi all,

So you may have noticed a lack of updates recently.  There was a reason for that.  Reason #1 is, I was in Las Vegas for a whole week and having too much fun to post.  Reason #2 is that I found out I have a computer virus of some sort and it’s making connecting to the internet terribly frustrating.

So updates may be intermittant for a few days.

Leakers, Please…

Okay, there’s someone on this site going around posting things from the Underscore Lounge without permission.

I know that I got kicked out of the Lounge, and there’s a lot of you guys siding with me on this, (which I really appreciate, by the way), but please, stop posting things from the Lounge on this site.  It’s not cool.

The Underscore Lounge is a private community, and you make a promise when you enter that community to keep the site secure.  Leaking stuff like this isn’t cool.  Even if you’re kicked out and pissed at the guys, like me, there’s still no excuse to breach their security by giving out the site address and reposting stuff that’s meant to be private.  You got to keep the promise you made when you were originally let in.

So I ask all of you who visit this site to please respect the privacy of Underscore, and not repost private information.

Kicked And Banned — Again?

Okay, breaking news…

(I know how you guys all love drama, so hold onto your hats, this one’s a doozy)

Since 2003, I was a member of an elite message board knwon as Mystery’s Lounge.  It was a great place where the best PUAs in the world got together to discuss concepts and ideas and all that great stuff.  Then, something happened to change that… namely, Project Hollywood.

After Mystery got betrayed by Tyler Durden and Papa, he began to focus more on his own career and less on the community.  He disowned the original Mysterys Lounge, instead opting to create a new one for his workshop students.  So the old Mystery’s Lounge morphed into a message board called only "Underscore."

It was basically the same thing, only without a new name and Mystery posting there all the time.

Then, a wierd thing started to happen.  Most of the really good PUAs stopped posting there, and the Real Social Dynamics guys began to invite a bunch of their "followers" to join the board.  This is about the time when I stopped visiting the board.  It wasn’t fun any more, most of the cool guys I liked had left, and the information wasn’t all that great.

(Plus, I have this site which takes up all of my posting power, so I usually had nothing to say on underscore anyway).

And today, I find out that I’ve been uncerimoniously KICKED AND BANNED from Underscore, formerly "Mystery’s Lounge."

Here’s the email I got from Toecutter:

Toecutter writes:
Thundercat,

If you are not following the lounge, we have just had an audit where everyone has posted a vouch for all the people that they know (including what they have seen in-set). We have kiced a whole bunch of people.

What you needed to be retained was to be vouched for by a minumum of 2 people…

You were vouched for by 3 people: Style, LittlebigDick and Christophe. All are in copy here. The problem is that your membership was called into question by by Jlaix and others.

Your membership in the lounge makes you a part of our community. Most of us have been vouched for by like 20 people. So it has come down to you … the man … Thundercat … has been called into question. Further, your blog has been accused as being anti-lounge.

So at the end of the day, you are loosing this, man. Let me tell you the score….

You are out … right now it is 28 to 1 (I have abstained).

There is nothing I could do. Jlaix (who is in copy), put a case against you, and I put it to the lounge.

At the end of the day, as you can see, you are more than voted out.

So there is the story. If you want to discuss, please e-mail me in return.’

I have included (in copy) everyone here so there are no secrets, but if you want to discuss it you can e-mail me privately.

Look forward to discussing it with you.

Toecutter

Now, I haven’t been on "The Lounge" in over a year, so I can’t say I’ll miss it.  It doesn’t surprize me to see that a message board filled with RSD members has decided to kick and ban me, since it seems to be a crime to point out their shady business practices and penchant to lie and over-exagerate their abilities.  So I can’t say it’ll be a big loss to me.

I’ve made good friends off what used to be "The Lounge."  When I was first made a member, it was a magic place for me.  Lots of great PUA knowledge, and lots of cool guys.  Unfortunately, it’s degenerated into something that no longer has any magic for me.  I don’t know half the guys on the underscore lounge, and only half of the ones I do know are people I care to associate with.

I always liked Jlaix, never had anything against him, and think he’s a brilliant comedic writer and kick-ass karaoke singer, but it’s apparent his loyalty to RSD is unshakable.  That’s a shame.  I see way to many cool guys get pulled into the "Tyler Cult" and get all wierd and vindictive.

From my point of view, I quit the lounge a long time ago, so I’m not going to fight being banned from RSD’s after-school club.  I was never a fan of having to "prove yourself" to be a member of the board, since being a cool guy you could learn and discuss things with was always enough for me.  But the egos on the board liked to have the "Underlings" prove their worthiness to be a member of their club.

The fact is, I’m happy with my life.  I have great friends, a great job, I’m doing what I love, and though I haven’t found the girl for me yet, I am going out on plenty of dates and having a great time (as opposed to when I first joined The Lounge and was a hopeless AFC).  I feel I’m on my way to achieving what I wanted when I first joined the community, and this success makes me feel I have nothing to benefit by being a member of underscore anymore.

Just like when I was banned from the Speed Seduction list for speaking out against Ross Jeffries, I’m now banned from underscore for speaking out against RSD.  Good riddance, I say.  They can have their fan club.  I’ll survive and probably be better off for it.

I know RSD has their own secret message board where they like to sit around and plot the end of the world, along with the demise of me, Style, and David DeAngelo.  Personally, I believe that they like to use the underscore lounge to steal all their latest ideas, and then use their private RSD board to plot how to use said stolen ideas in secret.  (I have no proof of this, like I said, it’s justa theory.  However, the fact that they do have a secret message board has been verified)

So it’s apparent that RSD, in an attempt to punish me for speaking out against them, has gone the juvenile "nanny-nanny-nanny" rout by kicking me off a message board and excluding me from "the elite."

(Though the fact that I’m still friends with a lot of the good PUAs out there kind-of defeats the purpose, don’t you think?)

I can’t say I’ll miss posting on the board formerly known as "The Lounge."  This blog has always been a better outlet for me than the Lounge ever was.  And where else could you find 300-reply long threads of Papa and Tyler under a billion different aliases.  =)

(Just kidding, I know Papa and Tyler get others to do the dirty work for them.)

The funny thing is, I actually MET the requirements for staying in the underscore lounge.  I can remember back in the day when it only took 1 person to vouche for you to stay a member, and I got 3.  I guess I should feel special that it took an emergency message board-wide vote to kick me out.  Though to be fair (and stroke my ego a bit), the people who could REALLY vouch for me are people who never bother to post on that board anymore (people like Swinggcat, Roadking, Craig, and others), so I feel I’ll be in good company with them.

I find it funny my blog is said to be "anti-lounge."  That was never the case, and I always went to great pains never to reveal anything that was posted on The Lounge on my site without permission.  If by "anti-Lounge," they mean "anti-RSD," then I can see where they’re coming from, since underscore is now synonymous with RSD.  That is the only part of the whle ordeal I’d take to task and argue with, but it’s just not that important to me to defend myself to the people who wanted me out.  They can’t get revenge any other way I suppose, so they have to resort to stupid school-yard stuff like this.  Waaa-waaa.

My mom always says "The best revenge is a life well lived," and I feel I’m living a great life right now, just like I hope you and the other good souls on the underscore board are.  In the end, that’s more important to me than a membership to a boys club, and it should be important to all of you as well.

So in the end, I’m just gonna keep doing what I do, and have a great time doing it, and let RSD sit in their dark corner and plot my demise.  Maybe if RSD and MINE’99 ever team up, we could have a real Superfriends Showdown or something like that.  =)

Build Attraction Secrets

There’s a book that’s been out for a while now called "Build Attraction Secrets:  The Foundations For Attraction," and it was written by my buddy The One (aka Cameron Teone).

I only recently got a copy of the book, and haven’t really had a chance to read it all the way through yet (I’ll be sure to post a full review on the site when I get a chance), but it did get me to thinking about something…

Cameron’s book — which I’ll admit, is pretty darn good — centers a great deal on "inner game" and laying the groundwork for self-improvement that will increase your success with women.

And I can’t stress enough how important YOU are in the PUA equation.

When it comes down to it, YOU are the one thing that is going to attract a woman.  You can do as many patterns, routines, DHVs, or whatevers you want.  But at some point, the bag of tricks run dry and all you have to work with is yourself.

What do you do then?

There are so many factors to improving your own mentality and beliefs when it comes to success with women.  I had a fantastic evening with a woman just last night, and believe me, this girl was very attractive.  Me, I’m an overweight dude, I don’t think I’m all that good looking, and my hair is getting a little thin on top (that’s for all you flamers out there.  I just know how much you love to call me names that somehow rhyme with my physical flaws! =), and there’s still a part of me that feels I don’t deserve to be with a woman as attractive as she was.

So what did I do?  I actually brought it up!  We started talking about attraction and various other things, and she told me some very interesting things that only reinforce what I know to be true, but still have a hard time accepting.

She told me that so many guys come up to her pretending to be rich to try and get her to date them, and how lame she thinks that is.  She told me that lots of her former boyfriends were poor, and how she tends to date "average guys" because she finds the good looking ones are all boring and have no personality.

And the funny thing is:  Almost all girls think this way!

Just because you’re not a great looking guy doesn’t mean you can’t be with an attractive girl.  And one of the things I really love about Cameron’s book is that he nails this concept on the head.

Building real attraction comes down to:

• Beliefs
• Self-Esteem
• Courage to try new things
• The ability to learn from failure
• A willingness to let the good in you shine through

Once upon a time, Mystery pioneered something which I’ve found to be incredibly useful, and which tends to go very un-discussed in this community, and that is the concept of having a CHARACTER.

Characters are attractive to people.  All the best books, movies, and TV shows are based around characters people can fall in love with.  Just watch an episode of American Idol one night, and you’ll find yourself rooting for the people with the most character to them.

Mystery’s concept was to invent a character you could become.  And while I think there’s value to that, I feel that everyone is already a character, and they just need to display it.

I’m not a special guy, but there are things about my personality that shine through, and I’ve learned to display that.

If you have some struggles with your inner game, and you really want to get yourself together, try checking out Cameron’s book.  I’ve actually learned a lot from it, and I think it’s one of the better books out there on pure inner game material.  You can check it out by clicking here.

Mystery — The Clown?

Bigsend has a great artist rendition of Mystery on his excellent PUA blog.  He says his friend made it, and I must say, the guy has some talent!

Though the subtle notion of Mystery as a clown doesn’t sit well with me.  I mean, the guy does dress funny, but how many clowns get laid as much as he does?  Not many I bet.  Though what do I know?  I’m not a clown.  =)

Ibiza Summit

Sounds like there’s a new PUA summit in the works over in Europe.

Hey Thundercat,

We wanted to give you the scoop on what we think will be the biggest European Community event of the year – The Ibiza Summit 2006.

Ibiza is a pick-up paradise.  Every night of the week is like a Friday night in a big city.  It’s like South Beach, Leicester Square and Cancun all rolled into one.  The largest club in the world is here (9,000 people) and the women are just incredible.  The party continues on the beaches during the afternoon.  Hot babes from all over the world.

This is not a beginners summit, this is for the guys who are practicing regularly and want to meet with other guys to pick-up 24 hours a day for a week.  No seminars are planned, although you never know who might turn up.

Spread the word far and wide – full details at www.projectibiza.com

Magnus

Sounds like it could be a really cool get-together.  I’ve never even heard of Ibiza before, but it sounds awesome.

The Game Remains the Same

In his latest newsletter, Style drops some great nuggets of pick-up wisdom in response to the latest Village Voice article about women wising up to PUA tactics after the release of "The Game."  You can read the full newsletter from Style in this post, but if you want to recieve his updates reguarly, join his mailing list by clicking here.

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New Amsterdam Lair

For those of you Europe-based seducers out there, it sounds like there’s a new lair opening up in Amsterdam.  Though I think there’s already a lair in Amsterdam, it sounds like there’s a competing one opening up…

Hi,

just wanted to say that I want to start an own open lair for Amsterdam (the Netherlands). I created this lair because I want to have a lair for Amsterdam/Holland that’s open to everyone without any discriminating, pre-screening or pre-selection: everyone will have the same rights.  We also made it open, because we want to give a clear signal:  We have nothing to hide.

The lair can be found at:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Amsterdam_Dating/

Should you have any questions based on this e-mail, I’ll most gladly answer them for you.

With kind regards,

Matthew.

Sounds like the current Amsterdam lair has a little too stringent membership criteria?