Initial Fear of the Approach
February 4, 2004 by Thundercat
Filed under Analysis
**Reposted from the first Lair, original date: 12/22/03
Someone on the DC list asked a pretty good question about approaching and fear of the approach. They talked about how hard it was to approach women initially in SS. I think this is a pretty valid point, because the first stage in anyone’s development as a seducer or pick-up artists is to learn how to approach girls.
Speaking as someone who comes from an SS background, I can feel for guys who are going through this. IMO, SS is one of the WORST systems for helping guys learn to cold approach. When I was just doing strict SS, I could not cold-approach to save my life. In fact, some of the best Speed Seducers I know cannot cold approach. They get most of their lays through social circles or the internet. That said, cold approaching is just very hard in general.
The best way to get over this, in my opinion, is to attend an in-field workshop. I know there was one in DC recently taught by Tyler Durden. Nothing helps more than having live, in-field instruction and demonstration by experienced people who can help you troubleshoot and guide you through the process. The only people doing this currently that I know of is Tyler Durden, Mystery, Badboy, and Harmless, who will be starting his workshops up in the coming months. That said, workshops are very “shit or get off the pot” in their nature. They will kick-start you into approaching, but they are NOT very conducive to mental masturbators and armchair seducers, so be sure you are prepared for it.
Short of that, hooking up with other guys who do this stuff is the best way to go. I know a lot of guys in the DC area are getting together on a regular basis to wing each other, which is a great way to learn. I started up my own lair in LA to help me out. Sometimes, just having others to talk to about this shit is good to help increase your skills.
The hardest part about approaching is just overcoming that fear of rejection. We all become so conditioned to avoiding emotional pain, that we get that knot in our stomachs every time we are about to talk to a girl we find attractive. The best guys I’ve seen at this have no fear of approaching because they are able to detach themselves from the outcome. Whenever you see a beautiful girl you wanna bang, you give her a lot of sexual power over you, which you then have to go about trying to regain in order to effectively sarge her.
What I’m doing in my game right now is getting to the point where I do not feel the need to give the girl that power. Where my inner game has hit such a level that I do not have to get validation from a girl. Its a tough thing to do, and something I’m struggling with. But all I have to do is look at someone like Zan, who is completely free of all that bullshit, to the point where he naturally attracts people to him. Its a very powerful and congruent way to live your life.
I’ll probably talk about this more later. Right now I gotta run. Gonna hang out with my brother and his hippy friends.
Thundercat
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Zhu Houzhao는 너무 흥분해서 춤을 추고 앞으로 달려가 Zhang Xin을 껴안으려고했습니다.
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하지만 지금 … Zhu Houzhao의 울부 짖음이 왔을 때 모두가 놀랐습니다.
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농부와 학자가 결합하여 말과 소를 기르는 것은 극히 드문 일입니다.
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하지만 이 문제는… Fang Jifan에게 조언을 구해야 합니다.
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내 가정사야, 내 아들아, 풀뿌리일 뿐인 너에게 여기서 헛소리를 하게 놔둬라.
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Wang Bushi는 목이 긴장하고 약간 숨이 차며 얼굴이 붉어지는 것을 느꼈습니다.Wang Bushi는 이상하다고 느꼈습니다. “잠깐만, 무슨 일이야, 돈이 너무 부족해?”
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Zhang Chong은 즉시 “Young Master Zhai는 친절한 마음을 가지고 있으며 악당은 그를 매우 존경합니다. “라고 말했습니다.
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Zhao Shiqian은 이빨을 비비며 말했습니다. “Xiao Fang은 어디에 숨어 있었습니까?”
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사막의 사람들은 오랫동안 삶과 죽음에 대해 비관적이었고 삶과 죽음에 관심이 없습니다.
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Wang Jinyuan은 Fang Jifan을 믿을 수 없다는 표정으로 바라보았지만 Fang Jifan의 결정에 겁을 먹었습니다.
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Zhu Houzhao는 그것이 비정상적이라고 느꼈고 Hongzhi 황제에게 정당하게 상기 시켰습니다.
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