The Pick Up Artist 2, Ep. 2 Recap: I Like Pickle-Juice

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Warning:  This Recap Contains Spoilers!

Hey there boys and girls, its time for yet another fun-filled recap of VH1′s The Pick Up Artist!  So dust off your over-sized goggles and put on your sleeveless fur-lined vests, its time to waste yet another hour of your life watching geeks embarrass themselves and strike out with chicks.

We start the episode with the remaining contestants in shocked disbelief that Fat Gay Alex got his ample posterior kicked off the show.  Apparently, none of the guys have actually SEEN the first season, and know that people get eliminated from the mansion – especially if they are:  fat, gay, old, or a race other than white.

Matt Powers is so upset, he says “Its going to be hard to sleep tonight.”  Funny, I thought it’d be hard to sleep with Fat Gay Alex prowling around the bunkbeds in the dark, looking for unsuspecting nerds to molest.  But what do I know?

The next day, the group is whisked away to a “secret location” (which looks disturbingly like a low-rent porno store in the Valley).  They’re at a mysterious “Italian Club,” with Mystery, Matador, and Tara waiting out front, along with a mysterious looking doorman.

Simeon starts salivating, saying he thinks they’ve been whisked away to a STRIP CLUB, and then starts masturbating furiously.  Little does he know that no stripper would be up in the daytime to hang out with a bunch of geeks with no money – but hey, let the guy dream.

Mystery is looking to start helping the guys build their confidence when talking to women.  So for their first reward challenge (i.e. the challenge where you get Tara to do something demeaning afterward) the guys get to spend quality time with some “quality ladies.”

Hmmmm.  In the first season, a line like that was followed by storytime with a class full of first-grade girls.  I’m thinking this year they may have put a twist on it and gone with geriatrics.  Will I be proven correct?

Asian Brian is hoping to meet some strippers, club girls, or FREAKS.  Either way, he’s so excited his afro starts steaming.

So the challenge is to approach some women and have a conversation.  Simple, right? The guy who makes the best impression wins a “secret accessory” from Mystery’s private collection, and a special tutoring session on how to use it.  Though, I’m sure most of these contestants already know how to use ruphies. Read more