Appology to Tyler

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**Reposted from the first Lair, original date: 1/14/04

So my little post about Tyler a few days ago has stirred up a bit of controversy.  I consider Tyler a friend, so I didn’t think much about criticizing his game a bit.  I’ve been out with the guy a few times now and have gotten to see how tight his game is first hand, and there’s no doubt about it that he’s good — in fact I’d go so far to say that he’s one of the best.  However, in all fairness, I have been out of touch with TD for a while and that probably affected how I wrote about him.  I talk to a lot of people because of this blog, both through emails and over the phone, and I am able to gather a good deal of information from others, and some of my information from people in DC, Seattle, and LA went towards influencing what I wrote about Tyler’s use of ”gay-isms” and how it had a negative impact on his game.

This was pretty irresponsible of me, because in all honesty, I was operating on a picture of what others had given me as opposed to what I had seen myself.  I didn’t realize that the post was so off base until I got this response from Tyler, which he’s given me permission to repost here:

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Some clarifications:
 
-I get laid as much as anyone right now, if not more – maybe the most in the entire scene in the past 2 months.
 
-I have flaking down perfect.  My flaking game is stupid tight.
 
-I can do daytime PU as well as anyone in this scene.  Clubs, daytime, whatever.  ”Club atmosphere” is not a factor.  I will run the best daytime PU you’ve ever CONCEIVED, let alone seen.
 
-I play the gay angle sometimes, and other times I don’t.  I also play that I’m rich sometimes, and other times I don’t.  I say that I’m in a rockband sometimes, and other times I don’t.  It’s something that’s used at times.  Not the core of my game.  On workshops, I may use it more often, because I am surrounded by 15 newbies who are making the girls uncomfortable.
 
-Speculation about my ”long game” is wrong.  Dead wrong.  My late game is super tight.  My day 2 is super tight.  My comfort building is super tight.  My phone game is super tight.  Noticing a pattern?  Don’t speculate, man.
 
I’d say nothing about this, if it were true, but this is plain inaccuarate and misleading.  I’d appreciate it if you’d take it down, and write up something new next time we hang out.  Expect that you’ll also be updating your top 10 PUA list…

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So I’m man enough to admit when I’m wrong, so here it is:  I was wrong.  I’m sure Tyler is quite correct in his representation of himself, and I appologize for saying what I did.  In many ways I’m still learning the dangers of putting all my thoughts on such a public forum.  I already learned the negative effects it can garner since I got Kicked and Banned from all of Speed Seduction after speaking out about the sorry state of it’s e-mail list.  This blunder was especially rough because Tyler is a friend, and I didn’t mean to hurt the guy’s feelings.  In the future I’ll have to remember to keep my writings about what I know as opposed to what I hear.

Thundercat

Some New Linkage

**Reposted from the first Lair, original date: 1/14/04

This being the internet, you gotta show your love and link those who link you, so I’ve added a few new sites to the Link section of the blog.

The first is Minger’s new blog Seduction Digest.  Minger is the head of the DC lair and also wrote that great article about the Rolling Stones/New York Times articles that I reposted under my entry ”Out of the Closet and Into the Fire.”  If that’s any indication of what we’ll be seeing on his blog, I think there will be some good stuff.  The DC list is also incredibly active, so there might be a lot of spill over to this blog for those who aren’t on the e-mail list.

The second is a blog called Sir Italian’s Seduction Blog.  This is a new blog I discovered through Minger’s site from a European PUA which is pretty good.  He already linked me to his site, so I figured I’d return the favor.  He’s also got a lot of cool sex themed hedonistic links I’ll be checking out as time goes by.

I’ve also linked SteviePUA’s Journal.  I know SteviePUA from Mystery’s Lounge but others may recognize him from mASF.  I’ve spoken to Stevie on the phone briefly before he left for Spain (lucky fuck) and he’s a cool guy.  His online journal is more of a blow-by-blow of his daily life, but basically serves the same function for him this blog serves for me.  Stevie is a good PUA, so you could probably learn a lot from his journal.  Now if he’ll only return the favor and link me (hint, hint

The last new link is AU Seduction which is the homepage for the Austrailian Seduction Lair.  Haven’t had time to explore this one too much, but I know they’re part of the ”fast-seduction” network, so all you Aussie PUAs out there, check it out if you haven’t already.  A reciprical link from them would be nice as well!  =P

There you go.  Enjoy the web.

Thundercat

Office Mini-Sarge

**Reposted from the first Lair, original date: 1/14/04

I hesitate to even call this a sarge, because I really didn’t do anything, but I thought it was interesting enough to mention anyway.  I make it a practice not to shit where I eat, so I tend not to pick-up or seduce anybody at work or places I like to frequent, such as restaurants and the like, but yesterday I inadvertantly broke that rule just a little bit.

A new employee has been hired at the company I work for, and she’s been assigned to my section.  Basically, this means we work in the same department, but the department is so big my interaction with her will be quite limited.  Never the less, new employees are always taken around by their supervisor and lead on a tour of all the department’s sections, introduced to all the people in that section, etc.  Now, this employee is quite a cute girl.  She’s young, around my age, with a nice smile and a really tight ass.  All the old men I work with were practically salivating over her when she came in.

So my supervisor meets her and takes her around the office, introducing her to all the old farts who are being more than nice to her, asking her questions about herself, complimenting her, etc.  Then, she gets to me in my little corner cubicle.  I’m there sitting at my computer looking at internet porn, so I quickly make use of my Safari Browser’s tabs and switch to Yahoo, then open a word document so it looks like I’m doing work.  My supervisor brings her to my desk and as he’s introducing me, I don’t even look at her.  I actually wait until the introduction is finished before I look away from my ”work” and nod in her direction.

She says it’s nice to meet me (total auto-pilot ”meeting people” trance state) and I don’t say a word to her.  I just stare at her in silence with my best look of disinterest.  Everyone — my supervisor and fellow employees — are just looking at me waiting for me to be nice to the cute new girl.  Soon, the silence becomes too uncomfortable, and a funny thing starts to happen.

My coworkers begin to qualify me.

It was a weird domino effect.  First, my supervisor starts to mention a few of my accomplishments to her.  Then my coworkers start elaborating on that and talk about how great and talented I am.  The entire time I’m just sitting there looking at her with bored disinterest, and she looks like a deer caught in headlights as everyone around her sings my praises.  When they’re done I smile, nod, and go back to ”work.”

After she leaves, instantly all the old men begin hemming and hawing about how hot she is and how great of an ass she has.  Then they turn to me and are like ”What’s wrong with you?  Didn’t you think she was hot?”  To which I replied ”Oh yeah.  She’s just not my type.”  hehehe.

Anyway, the whole situation was funny.  Just by acting cold and withdrawn (or ”aloof” to put it nicely) and playing against the social expectations, I forced those around me to accomplish intro me and qualify me to this cute girl they were all drooling over.  I’m willing to bet that the next time I see this girl, she’s going to remember me and no one else in my department.  =)

Thundercat

Out of the Closet and Into the Fire

**Reposted from the first Lair, original date: 1/13/04

Well, I was going to address this issue after the NYT article hit this weekend, but it seems like Minger has beat me to the punch.  For those of you who don’t know, Minger is the head of the DC Lair.  Unlike some of the other lairs out there, he’s fostered a pretty tight-knit group and their e-mail list always has some of the best discussions going.  He also writes a regular newsletter, which he sends to his subscribers.  Usually the newsletters just contain links to interesting discussions going on in the mASF boards, but this time around Minger has actually included a rather eloquent and (dare I say it) journalistic article concerning the future of the seduction community.  It’s a pretty good read, and I have reposted it here for all of you.

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Swimming Across the Channel Dept.
What happens to the seduction underground when it ”reaches the outer shell of mainstream consciousness?”

A Rolling Stone writer has been ”quietly gathering material” for an article, spending time with the gurus and interviewing a few aspiring PUAs.  Our founding brother RJ was profiled by Rolling Stone and Playboy back in 1998, but he, and not the community, was the centerpiece.  RJ probably received a lot more business from the free advertising, and more brothers found their way into the community.  Six years later, the mainstream has returned, our community has grown and a new generation of charismatic gurus has arisen.

Not only is Rolling Stone back, the New York Times, a global newspaper with over one million readers, is on the scene too!  And it seems that both will include the broader community in the coverage, which includes the nextgen gurus, the local lairs and the boards.  Will this blast of light prove to be a blip in the evolution of our community or will it snatch away the cloak of anonymity that has encouraged robust sharing and drive the key participants further underground?  (WD disappeared after receiving the shock last year of finding himself watching documentary footage of the FS forums at a theater in his small Canadian town.  Then last week, one of CJ’s girlfriends let him know she read his FS comments on her!)

Aside from having covers blown, people worry, ”will ‘Powerpuff Girls’ lose its zing after everyone knows about it?”  ”Dork” zings too and everyone knows the word, yet you’ll hear very few guys saying it to a girl.  The IC pattern, much older and despite RJ’s publicity, hasn’t lost its potency one bit (when used at the right moments).  And you haven’t seen ‘Powerpuff’
really zing unless you’ve seen TD deliver it himself; his effective subcommunication can’t be fully conveyed in words, certainly not in broad article.  However, all bets are off if some screenwriter reads the RS story, and the world sees Tom Cruise PowerPuffing chicks in a blockbluster movie a year later.

What about the pulse of newbies?  The various boards or lists have only several thousand members each.  FH and ”Mad Dog” R already have their hands full as moderators dealing with the continual and accumulating incoming trickle, not to mention the occasional outbursts from the regulars.  What happens when some small fraction of the one million NYT reader base, men and women!, flock to our lists and forums?  Will we see ”a chaotic refugee flood” from AFCdom or ”an orderly transition”, like the integration of East Germany into West Germany?  The outcome is hard to predict.  The NYT has been covering subculture institutions the past few months.  Last week saw stories about swing clubs in NYC and the LiveJournal blog.  The swing club profiled will definitely see a boost in applicants but each will still be individually screened.  LJ new account stats are not available for the period during and after the NYT article, so we don’t know the impact of media coverage.  We do know that they have 1.8 million accounts, almost one million active accounts and, unlike the incompetents who run Friendster, they know how to architect and implement a robust system with room for growth.  The LJ community is really a subexponential number of subcommunities, so as long as underlying servers hold up, LJ can collectively absorb a blast just fine with little social disruption.

The NYT is too influential to ignore.  RS and PB are themselves on the fringe compared to the NYT, the anchor of the establishment.  The NYT starts memes and amplifies memes to a vast important audience.  It was on the pages of the Sunday Magazine last year that they questioned the ”carbs good” orthodoxy and gave support to the Atkins revolution.  Today, major food companies and restaurants are putting low carb on their product lines and menus.  Even Italian pasta makers are developing ”low carb” products.  McDonalds just announced the patty-less burger!  We don’t know the arrow of causality but the article was certainly a strong predictor of the direction and momentum of public sentiment.

*Off-Track Betting Dept.* I predict several months from now, after the publication of the NYT article, supposedly this Sunday, that 1) the business or traffic of the gurus or sites, especially the open ones like FS, spotlighted in the article will rise significantly; 2) the exposure will drive the skittish board posters underground and limit their experiences to smaller audiences (the capitalists withdraw to Midas Gulch), while we see new gurus sprouting to give workshops and seminars while established ones pick up their activity; and 3) the article will draw the attention of the television or movie producers and result in the introduction of seduction community activities into plotlines, TV talk soaps or reality shows. 

-Minger
minger@dcseduction.com

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So the paranoia has begun.  Honestly, I don’t think it will be a big deal once this hits the mainstream.  It might be a bit of a curiosity for a while, but chances are it will be met with such disdain from feminists, Alpha Males, AFCs, and any church based institutions, that if anything it will be driven further underground.  You might see a lack of traffic on ASF because of people afraid to be exposed as seducers, while something like the rather exclusive and ”invitation only” Mystery’s Lounge becomes more important.

In a way, the whole situation reminds me a lot of where bodybuilding was in the early 80′s.  You have this wierd little world-wide subculture right on the fringe of society with it’s own superstars and competitions and politics.  It’s something anyone can partake in if they are willing to commit significant time to it to get good, it’s got its own jargon, and it’s even got lairs and clubs meant to promote it.  The only thing it’s been lacking up to this point is mainstream acceptance, something which body building achieved with the documentary ”Pumping Iron.”  Once the press hits, next will be books, movies, maybe even TV shows.  Nevertheless, when this hits, it could hit big.

I’ve gotten more than a few private e-mails concerning this topic because of the knowledge that I had been approached to be a part of this mainstream exposure, and there is a big worry out there that bringing seduction to the masses may ruin the free excahange of ideas that we currently have going.  So this may be on a lot of people’s minds in the coming months.  I’m honestly not too worried about it, but only time will tell how it will affect the community as a whole.

Until then, props to Minger for such a great article.

Thundercat

Manipulation and Morality

**Reposted from the first Lair, original date: 1/13/04

So an "Anonymous" poster has decided to step up and indite my little post on the Subtle Art of Manipulation.  I say "Anonymous" because he seems to prefer not to stand beside what he said, even though I can read his IP address so it really doesn’t matter.  Regardless, he does make a good point.  For those of you who might have missed it, this is what he wrote:

********************************************
This community is fucked up when you celebrate duplicity and manipulativeness as if it were a virtue. Do you think the girls can’t see that same duplicities in this guy that you can? Why would you emulate this guy? And be plain faced manipulative?
********************************************

What this person fails to realize (or maybe he does realize it) is that this community is built on duplicity and manipulativeness.  Everything we learn to do is geared towards manipulating other people to get what we want.  In fact, pretty much anything in life is like that.  The only difference here is that we make a conscious effort to do so, and are aware of what we are doing.

Which brings up an interesting question about morality.  Basically, the question is:  Is manipulation wrong?  Is it a bad thing?  The answer to that is a difinitive — MAYBE.

If you look at these tactics for maipulation, the stuff we learn to help convince girls to sleep with us, they are in and of themselves AMORAL.  They simply exist.  They are psychological realities that exist in every person, and they will always respond in certain fashions when stimulated a certain way.  The thing that makes manipulation "good" or "bad" is the intention behind it.  If you manipulate a sick friend to see a doctor, is that a bad thing?  By the same token, if you manipulate a poor man to give you all of his money, is that a good thing?  It all depends on the person doing the manipulation.

In the study of seduction, if you manipulate a woman to sleep with you because you’re attracted to her and you want to give her a great experience that you both can share, is that bad?  Not if you’re the type of guy who likes to please women.  However, if you’re the type of guy looking to use and abuse women, and you sleep with them for the power trip it gives you, then it can be argued that the manipulation is a bad thing, because it’s meant to hurt the woman rather than give her a great experience.  And when it comes down to it, that all depends on who is doing the seducing.

The thing I think is telling about this person’s reply, however, is how they point out that I think girl’s can’t pick up on the same duplicities in this guy that I did.  This tells me he missed the whole point of my post (then again, maybe he didn’t =).  The fact is, the thing that made this experience so amazing to me was the fact that NO ONE — man or woman — would have picked up any duplicity from this person IF THEY WEREN’T EXPECTING IT.  That is what makes it so amazing.  The subtlety behind it, the gentle manipulation that goes unseen… it’s simply masterful.

I can emulate this guy who did this in the same respect that an artist can emulate Da Vinci after viewing the Mona Lisa.  After seeing the art he created, breaking it down, studying it, noticing the rhyme and reason behind it — you begin to realize the talent it takes to create such a thing.  And when it comes to manipulation, not just create it — but USE it.  Like painting, manipulation is an art.  But its such a difficult art to master, because you do not deal with concrete substances like paint and canvas.  You deal with people’s thoughts, emotions, and reactions.  For that reason, it is so much more volitile and unpredictable than any other art out there, that when you meet someone with such mastery over it you cannot help but be in awe of them.  It just so happens that most people either never recognize their talent or view it such as this "anonymous" poster did, which is: in the wrong way.

In the end, it all depends on what you use these skills for.  They can be used for good and bad, depending on the person using them.  I like to think I’m a good enough guy where I wouldn’t do bad things with this knowledge.  But regardless, morality has no place in the study of pursuasion and influence.  This is a science, nothing more, which is why I can look at something like this and be in awe of it.  I compare it to looking at a nuclear explosion.  It is something that can be terribly destructive, but it is also something that can be awe inspiring and beautiful.  It all depends on how you look at it.

Thundercat

The New Blink 182

**Reposted from the first Lair, original date: 1/13/04
**Image removed

I can remember when these guys hit the mainstream when I was in college.  I remember for the simple reason that my neighbor in the dorm was blasting their fuckin’ CD day and night at full volume.  In a way, that soured me towards the group, who I looked at as a flash in the pan punk group who wanted to be Green Day but sang about stupid high school shit like breaking up with their stoner girlfriend and the like.

So I guess I’m surprized that they’ve endured as a group.  I know they briefly broke up for a while and went on to do Boxcar Racer, which was a pretty cool little side project.  But their latest album has made me a fan.  For some reason, the songs on this new release of theirs "Feeling This" are really striking a chord with me.  The songs seem a little bit somber, more grown up, and musically more advanced than anything they’d done previously.  It’s funny because the songs are really very simple for the most part, but in a way that simplicity makes them more sophisticated (probably because any artist knows that to create something simple AND beautiful is the hardest thing to accomplish).

Admittadely, I’m no music critic.  But I do know what I like.  And these guys, I like.

Thundercat

Deep Thought

**Reposted from the first Lair, original date: 1/13/04

On my way to work today I saw two seperate instances of fat chicks jogging.  In a way, it made me feel good to see some girls trying to get in shape.  But I’m curious how much longer after New Years I’ll be seeing stuff like that.

Thundercat

The Taboos of Seduction

**Reposted from the first Lair, original date: 1/12/04

Saturday night, I found myself out on the town with my buddy Roadking, as well as my friend Alleycat (the artist formerly known as Poet Dude.  Will this guy ever stop changing his handle?).  We got together at a strip club that Roadking and I have had some success with in the past, and spent some quality time making fun of every stripper we could see.  Alleycat and I even created a new game, where we’d make fun of the stripper’s asses by using “ghetto” jokes (in the vein that they had “big asses” or “ghetto booty”).  I won the game with the best zinger of the night, which was basically – “That booty is so ghetto, it’s last welfare check bounced.”  That’s right, those words came out of my mouth.  Mom would be proud.

So the next stop of the night was down in Santa Monica, which had a kicking night scene.  In fact, I’d even go so far as to say that Main Street in Santa Monica is slowly taking over Sunset’s role as the best place to club hop.  Not only were there lots and lots of pretty young girls there, but the bars/clubs were very cool, close together, and cover free (always a plus).  The only drawback is that everything shuts down at a ridiculous time of 1:45 am.  In a way this can be good, because it might make it easier to pull from the bars, but it means you also have to get there earlier, which sucks.  But my experiences there with Roadking and Alleycat helped open my eyes to a few things and got me thinking about specifics of Pick-Up and Seduction.

Its funny how, when all the cards are down, our sex drive is very much animalistic – mainly because we are a type of animal.  I was watching something on Animal Planet today about the mating rituals of animals, and it struck me as odd how animals are so different from humans when it comes to sex.  As we all learned in the first grade (or when we got our first dog or cat), the female animal goes into heat at certain times of the year, and that draws the male of the species to them for some hot, stinky, animal lovin’.  At this time, the males are no longer concerned with hunting or anything like that, all they are after is pussy.  And then, once the female falls out of heat, everything goes back to normal and the male can care less if he’s getting his rocks off.  But the interesting thing is that during that time period of heat induced sex, the animals become rather moody and violent, mating in ways that can actually be quite dangerous.

This got me thinking that it’s probably a good thing that human females don’t go into heat.  But then the thought crossed my mind that when it comes to sex with humans, we’re still rather moody and violent, mating in ways that can actually be quite dangerous.  So maybe we’re wrong, and the difference is that girls are ALWAYS in heat.  But if that’s the case, why aren’t we raping chicks left and right?  That can only mean that human females are not, and don’t go into, heat of any sort.  This is a funny thought, because that means something very interesting:

Unlike animals, for humans, there is no division between sex and daily life.

Which means that there is no time of year where we as men are free from our desire to mate.  It’s never “turned off” and we can get back to hunting and frolicking in the wilderness.  Instead, we are constantly bombarded with sexual impulses, and because of that our lives are usually filled with distraction, depression, frustration, and anger.  So if we are all always constantly experiencing these sexual impulses, what is keeping us from acting upon them and pouncing on every woman that gives us a fraction of a boner?

The only thing I can think of is the social mores that have been thrust upon us.  That there have been rules, restrictions, and limits placed on our behavior.  In short, we have created a system of social pressures that continually keeps us repressed, keeps our desires in check, and for many of us, keeps us from getting laid.  Namely, we’re reigned in by “Taboos.”

Look at all the taboos we have out there:  Incest is bad.  Sex before marriage is bad.  Sex with little kids is bad.  Sex with members of the same sex is bad.  Sex with animals is bad.  Adultery is bad.  Sex with multiple partners is bad.  Orgies are bad.  Oral sex is bad.  Anal sex is bad.  Doggie Style is bad.  Rough sex is bad…

The list goes on.  Now, I’m not here to judge these taboos.  Some of them are necessary (like Incest and pedophilia).  But if you look at it in a machiavellian sense, if you strip away all the social restrictions thrust upon us which we did not have the right to willingly adopt ourselves – the deck is very much stacked against us when it comes to getting laid.

Look at what is socially acceptable nowadays.  Dating.  Dating sucks, but we’re taught that the best way to get laid is to ask a girl out, take her out to eat, take her to a movie, buy her gifts, profess our undying love, marry her, and THEN get laid.  Well, I call bullshit on that.  Any guy out there who’s ever dated a woman in the hopes of fucking her knows this is a really inefficient system of achieving your goal.
The real goal here is SEDUCTION.  It’s the process of picking up a girl and attracting her to you, to the point where she wants to drop her pants and give you a piece of that pie.  But even the process of seduction is so taboo, that we as men are practically left impotent my modern society.

Because of all these restrictive taboos, human sexual energy has to be channeled into other activities.  Things like business, art, hunting, war – what have you.  Everything becomes an extension of our need for sex, because that energy has to be channeled somewhere, lest we destroy ourselves with it.  In fact, I’m willing to bet if you see someone who’s really productive, be it at the office or home, chances are they aren’t getting laid, simply because all that energy is being redirected somewhere else.

But as seducers, if we realize this, if we realize that these taboos exist, we can exploit them to our benefit.  It comes down to a very simple concept of seduction:  Everyone wants what they cannot have.  All these taboos tell us what we CAN’T or SHOULDN’T do.  As soon as we are told “no” or that this person or this activity was taboo, instinctively we’d become curious about it.  We’d find ourselves drawn to it simply because it is denied us.  What man out there hasn’t fantasized about doing something that is considered unacceptable by society?

This, in my opinion, is the embodiment of seduction.  It’s about exploiting a psychological weakness of humans that makes us irresistibly drawn to things that are forbidden.  That curiosity of taboos, the secret desire for a walk on the wild side, a peek into the underbelly of civilization where all our most deprived and forbidden fantasies exist.

However, some could argue that this doesn’t exist in this day and age, where so many of those taboos have been discarded.  Women are much more sexual and free in this era.  Homosexuality doesn’t carry that stigma to it, and bisexual women freely experiment with men and women every day.  Nothing is really taboo anymore.  But I’m thinking the exact opposite may be true.  Because of my observations in Santa Monica last night, and how I got to see the pinnacle of liberated women, I would have to say that I think there is great potential out there for women to be seduced more powerfully than any other time in history.
Basically, I think taboos have been broken because in modern times, everybody is too busy to be constrained by them.  We work longer hours, we have more we need to accomplish, we have bills to pay, people to meet, things to do, phone calls to return, email to answer, etc.  There is a continual feeling in the modern adult world that we are just TOO BUSY.  We never quite have any time for ourselves, never time to rest.  But I’d argue all this work and responsibility is just another form of taboo – it’s a way to regulate people, to divert that sexual energy of ours, to keep us confined to the dating mindset.  It keeps that Protestant culture that America was founded upon alive and well and keeps our lives devoid of pleasure and playfulness, replacing that with guilt and hard work.

On a social level, there remains a lot of pressure for us to conform with the masses.  There are all kinds of taboos and limits out there when it comes to how we are expected to behave.  There’s political correctness, which inhibits us from expressing how we truly feel.  We have an overdeveloped consciousness that makes us judgmental and causes us to scrutinize our life in political terms – if I say this, will I be looked down upon?  If I buy this, how will it reflect on my image?  If I wear these clothes, will I be accepted?  If I tell others how I feel, will I be shunned?  When you add all this up, I think many of us feel more repressed and restricted than anyone else in history.  But because of this, I think we secretly yearn for adventure, excitement, a chance to shirk all responsibility and to use our time for play instead of work.  We want pleasure, the chance to enjoy life.

And that’s what being a great seducer boils down to in my opinion.  Being a person who creates those escapes, those alternatives, those temptations.  Like they say, the best way to get rid of a temptation is to give into it.  So it is up to us to exploit those taboos to get what we want – sex.

How do we do this?  There are many ways out there.  All the systems are in a way designed to do this in certain respects.  Mystery Method is about escapism, wowing others with entertaining stories and getting them wrapped up in your charisma.  Speed Seduction is about leading their imagination and making them think about all the things they’d rather be doing.  Double Your Dating is about interrupting their reality and sucking them into yours.  We use all sorts of tools, from talking about childhood fantasies, to using time distortion and false time constraints, to playing upon gender roles, to using preplanned routines to wow them.

The truth is that every human encounter has a sexual undertone and every interaction is a potential seduction.  All that differs is how you use that interaction to get what you want.  But the exploitation of taboos seems to open up all types of possibilities that the methods I listed above do not seem to cover.  This, coupled with my experience in “The Subtle Art of Manipulation” post have opened my eyes to a new direction, and what I feel could very well be the future of seduction science.  If you’re a careful reader, you can probably already guess what I’m talking about, but I haven’t field tested it enough to really talk about it in more detail just yet.

But when I do, you can bet you’ll read it here first.

Thundercat

Courting Attention

**Reposted from the first Lair, original date: 1/12/04

So I was out with my buddy Alleycat the other night, and he was doing some pretty cool stuff.  The thing I like about Alleycat is that he’s not afraid to jump in there.  He’ll walk up to any girl out there and start talking.  This is a good trait to have as a seducer and an excellent (some would say “must have”) trait for a Pick-Up Artist.  But I noticed something with him that I had forgotten in my time off, something that made his approaches so much easier than they would have been.

Basically, Alleycat was wearing a big, sparkly, mirrored cowboy hat.  It was a little odd, because it really didn’t match his outfit – but that doesn’t matter.  What matters is that it draws attention.  While we were out, I saw SO MANY girls turn his way and look him up and down because he was wearing that hat.  And more than that, he knew it too, and used this as an excuse to approach.  My guess is that it is similar to that PAIMAI stuff that exists on ASF, which basically boils down to a Pre-Approach Invitation (some call it an Indicator of Interest, but I digress).

Regardless, this one goofy looking cowboy hat made him instantly more popular with the ladies.  This reminded me of an experience I had with Mystery at the Highland’s night club a few months back.  Mystery popularized the whole theory of “peacocking,” which is basically a way of dressing that is meant to attract attention.  If none of you have ever met Mystery, he very much practices what he preaches, dressing up in outrageous outfits, even going so far as to have a flashing sign on his chest touting his name.  At the Highlands, I got to see him pull some amazing stuff, but a lot of it was due to the fact that the image he created instantly drew attention to himself.  Seeing women’s eyes grow wide and follow him as he walked by was a real sight to see.  Then, seeing their reactions when he approached them was even better, because they were already curious to talk to him and this made them more susceptible to his routines.  (Just another reason why Mystery is a master, I suppose.  =)

Which brings me to my original thought, which in a way is an outgrowth of Mystery’s peacock theory.  Basically, it’s the theory behind being an attention whore.  The difference is, attention whores actively seek your attention with their words and actions.  But when you COURT ATTENTION, you are passively receiving what you want based on how others perceive you.

Everything is judged by its appearance.  If you go unseen, you escape judgment, but you also escape notice.  You never want to let yourself get lost in the crowd.  Stand out.  You need to be conspicuous – a sore thumb.  You need to make yourself a magnet of attention by appearing larger, more colorful, and more mysterious than the rest of the moes out there.

If you look at women, that’s what they do.  They try to stand out.  They try to draw attention by dressing sexy, or different, or colorful.  The problem with men is that men tend to neglect fashion and blend together.  Taking it as far as someone like Mystery does insures you will stand out and it will also make your approaches easier.

Dressing in a way that courts attention also has a weird psychological side effect that will improve your field work.  In a way, when you dress outside the norm, you create a different character for yourself, one where you are less inhibited and more daring.  You can take more chances with women and get farther with them because of it.

So I guess what I’m trying to say is that when you go somewhere that’s stimulation overload – such as a bar or a club – with the goal to seduce, you want to draw attention to yourself by creating an image that is sure to draw attention.  Do anything to make yourself seem larger than life and stand out from those who surround you.  It doesn’t matter if the attention is bad or not, because either way it will accomplish the goal – you will get noticed!  And any sort of notoriety will aid in your effort to get women.

Thundercat

Dandy Lion

**Reposted from the first Lair, original date: 1/12/04

Just a quick thought I had after I wrote my post on taboos.  I got to thinking about how some of the other seducers and PUAs out there use taboos to pick up women, and I got to thinking about Tyler Durden.  For those of you who don’t know, I’m not talking about the Fight Club guy, I’m talking about our favorite little Canadian PUA who’s out there teaching workshops to the masses looking to get laid.

The thing about Tyler (and many other PUAs in the community) is that he can be easily mistaken for a gay man.  He’s adopted so many chick mannerisms and “Dandy” qualities, that he just comes off a fem and homosexual.  Yet he is incredibly good with picking up women.  However, and Tyler will tell you this himself, he often has difficulty with girls flaking on him or leaving after the initial lay.  Obviously, this is a part of his game that he’s working on, but coupled with my post on taboos, it got me wondering.

Basically, in our society, homosexuality is a taboo.  It’s often frowned upon and unaccepted, and because of this it garners a certain appeal, especially with women, who’s nurturing nature makes them more open to homosexuality.  And I think seducers like Tyler and other Dandy’s often play off this in their pick-ups.  Not only do the exhibit qualities of homosexual men, but they also exhibit mannerisms and attitudes of women.  So in a way, they are appealing to two taboos – that of the female fantasy of seducing a homosexual man, and that of sleeping with another female.

And it apparently works.  Tyler does in fact get laid, and he is very good at picking up women.  But it’s all in a club atmosphere, which often helps people to give into their desire to shirk taboos.  I’m thinking that once those girls get back to their real lives, however – lives where they are judged by their peers, where they have jobs, etc.  That the taboos become reinforced and this causes the girls to lose any attraction they may have had for someone like Tyler.

This is interesting for me, because I’m wondering if this is a typical problem of the Dandy.  Many androgynous men often appeal to the same taboos, but seem to be able to keep their women around.  I’m wondering if that’s because the taboos they seem to be shirking aren’t as obvious.  Either way, I’d be curious to hear other people’s thoughts on this topic.

Thundercat

Papa was a Rolling Stone…

**Reposted from the first Lair, original date: 1/10/04

Well, it seems like this little blog is getting quite a bit of exposure.  Not only has it garnered the attention of Ross Jeffries, Double Your Dating, and Mystery, but also the mainstream press.

Let me ask you guys this… if you were contacted by a reporter from Rolling Stone Magazine who wanted to interview you for an article on seduction, what would you do?  I’m not sure what I’d do, because I tend not to trust reporters.  But at the same time, its a bit exciting to think that you’re important enough to be written about, particuarly in the same publication which launched some of the biggest carreers in the music business.  Such is the power of pop-culture, I suppose.

Its situations like this that make me think about why I started the blog in the first place.  I don’t really care to get famous or reknown for it.  I’m not interested in being an ASF "guru."  In all honestly, there are many many guys out there who are better with women and get laid with more regularity than I do.  And I know for a fact that you’ll be hearing about these guys in the mainstream media fairly soon.  So I keep needing to ask myself what I’m going to do when this opportunity is presented to me.  I mean, its cool to help out other guys and get lots of e-mails every day asking for advice and stuff, but I can’t help but feel like what I’m doing is being misconstrued a bit.

I’m putting up my thoughts and experiences publically because it helps keep me focused, and because I’m hoping what I go through will help someone else overcome a similar problem.  So would I agree to a Rolling Stone interview?  What would I talk about other than what I think about other people in the community?  About my many failures with women?  About restructuring my lifestyle and recent breakthroughs?  About the last time I got laid and why its so infrequent for me?  All that is pretty stupid stuff, especially for a magazine like Rolling Stone.  I can’t really come up with anything that would be worth being interviewed by such a major publication.

Then again, it’s fun to think about.  What do you guys think?

Thundercat

Friday Night Mini-Field Report

**Reposted from the first Lair, original date: 1/10/04

Friday night was fun.  I hung out with Roadking the entire night.  We got some dinner at a great steakhouse in the Grove, which is an outdoor mall here in LA.  Then we went and met up with Dr. Alex at this bar called the Well (Dr. Alex is formerly known as Poet Dude.  He writes articles that can be read on Cliff’s List from time to time).  It was at this point I got to reflect on how into my comfort zone I am, which is why I wasn’t approaching much.  I need to re-read my bootcamp post and start following my own advice so I can get back into the game.

After the Well, Roadking and I went back to his place.  He had a Stripper friend of his sleeping on his couch, so I ended up playing Grand Theft Auto: Vice City while eating cookies with a cute little blonde stripper on Roadking’s leather couch until two in the morning.  All in all, not a bad way to spend a Friday night.  =)

Thundercat

Dating ReEnhanced

**Reposted from the first Lair, original date: 1/9/04

Well, it seems Harmless has gotten his in-field seduction workshop off the ground with the launch of his new website http://dating.reenhanced.com.  I talked to Harmless tonight and he seems to be getting in peak PUA condition to get ready to teach horny men how to pick-up in clubs and bars.  He told me about how he got 3 solid number closes tonight experimenting with some new approaches.  Seems like he’s doing some exciting stuff.  I’ve still yet to see him in the field with my own eyes, but I get the feeling he’s legit.  Right now it looks like he could be the next Tyler Durden if he plays his cards right.

The website is pretty basic.  I don’t much care for the layout, but the information on it seems decent enough.  He also used an exerpt from my "Top 10 PUAs" post for his bio, so I guess that’s a little flattering, but  I told him I’d write a better testimonial for his site.

Depending on my finances I hope to attend one of Harmless’s workshops in the future.  He told me he’d fly me out and let me attend for free if I wanted to come, so that’s pretty exciting.  When/if I do this, I’ll be sure to post a workshop review on this site.  If any of you want to beat me to the punch, it looks like they have some workshops lined up for Boston and D.C. in the coming months.

Until that time, it looks like there’s a new gun in town.

Thundercat

Damn, I SUCK!!!

**Reposted from the first Lair, original date: 1/9/04

One of the things I hate doing is getting back in the game after a period of inactivity.  With the hollidays and all, its been almost a total of 4 weeks without me sarging.  That sucks.  I went out tonight and found my game to be so rusty I feel like I’m starting all over again.  Blah!

It was a pretty uneventful night.  I’ve forgotten all of my openers and routines, so most of the night was spent sputtering through interactions and blowing myself out of sets.  Frustrating!  I did have fun though.  it was good to get back out into the world, even if it was for a night filled with rejection and failure.  But that’s what it takes to get back on your feet.  As I always like to say:

The field is king.  Respect the field.

I plan on getting out more soon, so there should be some field reports coming your way in the near future.

Thundercat

The Subtle Art of Manipulation

**Reposted from the first Lair, original date: 1/8/04

I really value my friends.  In fact, I cherish my friends.  If you’re my friend, I will bend over backwards to help you, because in my view, you’ve earned the right to recieve my help.  Being my friend also means you’ve earned the right to recieve my trust.  And being my friend means that no matter what happens, in the end, I’ll always be on your side.  Its very hard to find good friends in life.  The type of friends you’d entrust your life to.  One quality about friendship I admire is that true friends never really NEED anything from each other.  Its just enough to be together, to enjoy each other’s company, to share time with someone without any expectation whatsoever.  Our friends help define our lives.

That is why it is SO important to know who your friends are.  True friends can be very valuable, becuase they will return your loyalty and trust with their own.  Fareweather friends can be quite detrimental, because they will use you as long as they have use for you, and when that use no longer exists, they will betray all that you have given them.  And finally, you have the most volitile category, which is the people you WANT to be your friends.  They are people who embody the values and traits you look for in friends, yet are not your friend — and therefor not responsible to you in anyway.  This can lead to great friendships, or terrible disasters.  I bring this up because I recently had something similar happen to me.

There’s a man who I greatly respect out there, whom I admire in many respects.  He’s not only successful with women, but also life in general.  I feel I owe this guy a great debt, because he has helped me in the past, and the only way I knew how to repay such a debt with with my friendship.  But when it was offered, it was met with rejection.  I basically got the jist that I was not important enough to be his friend.  All my offers for meetings were met with excuses, and most phone calls were not returned.  This isn’t a bad thing, though.  It’s fine if someone does not wish to be my friend, I won’t think any less of them.  I knew this man whom I admire probably wouldn’t want me as a friend, but I felt I had to offer it anyway.  When it was declined, I accepted the result and went on with my life.  But that never really affected the way I felt about him.  I still look up to the guy, because he has a skillset and attitude that I am, to put it simply, in awe of.  And I can only hope to achieve some of the success he has.

So I guess I was a little surprized when I hear from him out of the blue after literally months of not hearing a peep from him.  And of course, its because he wants something from me, which isn’t necessarilly a bad thing, but it was the way he did it that somewhat irked me a bit.  Now, I guess its pretty obvious I’d love to have this guy as a friend.  I’d like to have him as someone I can trust and rely on, which is why I suppose I still look up to him.  But what happened today really opened my eyes to a few things and served as a nice wake-up call to me about certain aspects of my life.

Simply put, I consider this guy to be the master at manipulation.  Better than anyone who’s in the community.  He is really awe inspiring because of the fact that he is so good at manipulating others, you don’t even know he’s doing it!  If I had a fraction of the skill this guy has, I’d be getting laid every night of the week.

But he made a mistake with me when he called.  I’m not sure if it was intentional or not, but its something that put me on guard instantly.  Basically, he called me as a friend.  I found this funny because he made it fairly clear that he had no use for me as a friend, and because of this, I put up my guard.  And in a way, it helped me to see what this guy was doing to me.  If I hadn’t been aware of it, I could have fallen for everything he was doing.  It was so subtle and amazing what he did, that I’m actually inspired to break it down and use it on women.

The first thing he did was compliment me.  This is a great tactic because it disarms your target.  It puts the target in a power position because a compliment is inherently a form of qualification.

The second thing he did was ask me for a small favor, which I returned graciously because it wasn’t a big deal to do so, and the compliment paved the way for this to be reciprocated.  But what the favor really did was pull me into his realitiy.  But it doesn’t have to be a favor, it could be a simple question, just as long as the target is giving you something you wat.  What he did set the frame where its okay for me to give him what he wants, which is exactly where you want your target to be for the next step, which is:

Go for the kill.

At this point, you basically go after exactly what you want from the person your manipulating, and you frame it in such a way where its of great benefit for them to do so.  You’ve already established that they have the "power" and it’s okay to give you what you want, so as long as you go after it powerfully enough, you can get what you’re after from your target.  But there’s a greater depth to this part of the tactic than meets the eye.  In a way, this is where the manipulation gets the most evil, because in order to go in for the kill, you have play off other people’s insecurities and put them in a position where they have to start qualifying themselves to you — basically giving you ALL the power you want while still having the illusion that it’s all theirs.

This man, whom I admire, was doing many things to turn the tables on me.  Basically, he was trying to make me feel pathetic by pointing out things he was hoping would touch on an insecurity of mine (he was mistaken about these insecurities, but I think that may have been the point).  If I hadn’t had my guard up, I probably would have instantly started qualifying myself and giving him EXACTLY what he wanted.

However, at this point I balked.  I kept my mouth shut.  It is here where most guys might give up (especially if their target is a woman), but being the master this dude is, he kept going, and his tactics got even more manipulative.

The first thing he did was point out all the other people who had agreed to what he was asking me for.  They are people I admire and respect as well, so he was qualifying his request by implying that I could join part of this crowd by going along with what he wanted, and in a way, be validated by them.  When I balked again, he did a takeaway.  But when he did the takeaway, he also changed his tone to one of frustration and disappointment.  Now, this takeaway did work — like it usually does in most cases because after you feel someone has qualified themselves to you, if they get angry they are going to take the validation you recieved from that qualification away from you — but I was still not ready to commit to what he wanted from me.  I think I was in such awe with what was happening to me that I really didn’t want it to end because I found it fascinating, but by this point it seemed all pretext of friendship was dropped and this guy whom I respect had already made his decision to move on, but not before adding in a false time constraint to put pressure on me to make up my mind.  This added an immediacy to the situation that may or may not have existed, but regardless, the intended effect worked.  I felt under the gun.

When I got off the phone with him, I was stunned at what had taken place.  I imagine it was much like what the architect of the atomic bomb felt when he witnessed the beauty of the destruction he helped create, torn between his feelings of utter terror and utter amazement.  To think that someone out there possesses such power as this — and not only that, is AWARE of the power and KNOWS what he’s doing… well, that’s just frightening.  But it gave me such an incredible insight into how his mind works and the process he goes about interacting with people… well, I guess I’m still speachless to a certain extent.

I’m very much aware this man isn’t my friend.  But I still harbor such respect and admiration for him, it’s hard to be angry about what he attempted to do.  In fact, I’m probably more in awe of him now than I’ve ever been.  Whether or not it was intentional or he’s incorporated these skills so seamlessly that it’s part of who he is doesn’t really matter.  The fact is, it happened, and the process of which I got a glimpse into is utterly amazing.

So much so, I am now convinced of the Power of the Dark Side.

Thundercat

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