Seduction in the News

However, buy generic buy cost work one of the active ingredients in Symbicort, budesonide, belongs to generic celebrex a class of medications known as inhaled corticosteroids. These side cheapest diclofenac effects were rare in clinical trials of the drug, and ativan approved are more likely to occur in people who already have kenalog overdose online purchase free a history of heart problems. Oral thrush (a yeast infection buy generic betnovate no prescription usa in your mouth) is a common side effect that people buy carisoprodol in us taking Symbicort reported in clinical trials. It's important to treat order erythromycin online oral thrush as soon as you can to help prevent cheap cheapest in canada the infection from spreading in your body. What you can cheap augmentin from uk doMonitoring for signs and symptoms of pneumonia to help detect buy generic clindamycin gel an infection early for treatment will allow you to reduce buy generic kenalog your risk of severe infection. Talk with your doctor if generic estrace you are taking oral corticosteroids, such as prednisone or hydrocortisone, discount bangkok before starting Symbicort. Symbicort can cause heart problems, and this risk.

**Reposted from the first Lair, original date: 1/8/04

FYI:

There may be some attention coming to the community via the mainstream press fairly soon, directed primarilly toward’s Mystery’s camp.

Thundercat

Getting Laid or Validation — Which is More Important?

**Reposted from the first Lair, original date: 1/8/04

You know, its a funny little world we live in. As someone who studies pick-up and seduction, I like to think back from time to time as to how I got into it and why. If you’ve read the first post I ever put up on the site, you’ll see how I got into it, but that’s not the same thing as why. Initially, the “why” could be explained very simply: I wanted to get liad. Period. End of story. But the further I got into my studies, the more people I met, and the more gurus I’ve hung out with, the more I’ve begun to realize that this isn’t really about getting laid at all.

That’s not to say getting laid isn’t a part of it. But in all honesty, most of the guys I’ve met who make seduction their whole life have moved beyond that point — where it’s not just enough to get laid, but it has to be by a certain type of girl, who is a certain type of good looking, and others have to know about their success and look up to them because of it. In short, for many people out there, it ceases to be about getting laid and becomes more about VALIDATION.

Seriously, if it was all about getting laid, why not just save up some money, move to the Phillipines, and fuck whores all day long for less than $3 a night? If its about getting laid, why bother rating girls on a 1-10 scale? If its about getting laid, why bother charging people for products or getting names out in magazines and newspapers? Why bother flaming people on message boards? Why? Why? Why???

Because that’s not the reason behind any of this. I think men get into this field because there is some type of deep-seated insecurity within them that they are constantly trying to cure. That’s the need for approval, not just from people, but from beautiful women specifically. Its that scared little kid inside all of us who got laughed at when he asked the most popular girl in school out to the prom, or got told on when he tried to kiss a girl on the playground. Its that dark little place in all of us that seeks the validation of knowing we’re good enough to be desired by somebody.

But I’m starting to think that at some point, that doesn’t become enough. I know a few guys who get laid like crazy, by very beautiful women in fact, and that still doesn’t cure that insecurity. Its almost like they have to get that hole filled with the validation and accolades of others, which is where I think some guys end up. Its not just enough to be loved by a beautiful woman, rather, they have to be loved by everybody! Hense the need for constant validation, which leads people to go to great lengths to get it. And in a way, I think that this is a very dangerous trend, becuase it’s not a solution to the problem. The problem goes much deeper than getting laid or getting validated.

I think it can be boiled down to the very nature of who we are, and how we view ourselves. I know it may sound like a bunch of new age bullshit, but maybe its becuase many of us don’t love ourselves that our lives are so devoid of love — be if from a beautiful woman or your peer group. Maybe that ball of self-loathing in your gut is slowly poisoning all your interactions with people, keeping you stuck in the exact spot you don’t want to be in.

As I get more into Inner Game, I begin to realize about myself that there is a certain ammount of loathing I harbor. I don’t like the fact that I’m not as good looking as I can be. I don’t like the fact that I’m not as thin as I can be. I don’t like the fact that I’m not as cool, or interesting, or funny as I can be. And all that shit adds up to me harboring resentment against myself — which in the long run hurts me more than anything else out there.

So what’s the solution to this? How does one go about falling in love with oneself? How do you forgive each and every shortcoming you have? I think this is important because if you can’t truly love yourself, how can you expect anyone to ever love you in return? Because of this, you may never be happy, doomed to a self-destructive cycle of seeking validation, but never truly getting it.

Its something to think about, I suppose. I may even be something that keeps me up at night.

Thundercat

Reason for the Lack of Updates

**Reposted from the first Lair, original date: 1/8/04

Okay, I usually try and update this blog reguarly — as in once a day if I can. I haven’t really had much to say lately, and my focus has been more on my finances than seduction really. I guess it won’t hurt to say this now, since it will explain my current lack of content on this site, but I’ll be writing a series of articles for fashionforfatguys.com when the site relaunches as an online publication instead of a site dedicated solely to selling its ebook.

This is a pretty exciting time for me right now. I seem to have a lot of stuff on my plate. I keep getting told by people that I’m reaching a “celebrity” status in this small little online community of seducers. How that happened, I’ll never know, because the fact is there are lots more guys out there better at this than I am. Some people point to the blog as the reason, but I find it funny that an online journal meant to keep me focused and maybe help other guys experiencing similar problems is garnering such attention. So much so that I’m even getting the attention of the “gurus,” which I find a little off-setting.

Anyway, you’ll be able to find everything about that and more right here. I plan to try and keep this blog going until I reach my goals, and that realistically probably wont happen for a while now. I would also like to say I appreciate everyone who posts replies on my site. This is as much a learning tool for me as anyone, and feedback is always needed for progress to happen. So keep those thoughts coming guys. I plan on refreshing the site once a week, so if you put up a reply, it’ll be up for viewing for a while.

Thundercat

Conclusion to the Ellyn Saga

**Reposted from the first Lair, original date: 1/6/04

If any of you are wondering, I did end up visiting Ellyn while I was in DC.  I don’t want to go into too much detail about the meeting because it wasn’t very eventful at all.  In fact, it was pretty pathetic.  Poor Ellyn had really let herself go, and was pushing upwards of 200 pounds (she said she had gained a little weight, but Jesus!).  Its funny, because when she used to be attractive, I was willing to put up with her bullshit and mind games — but take away the looks and keep the same attitude, my patience becomes a lot less forgiving!

She tried pulling a few of those mind games with me, but I wasn’t really going for any of them.  I just wanted to get the hell out of dodge after about 10 minutes of being with her.  I made her pay for everything though, so I got a free diner and a movie out of it.  She was being pretty forward with me, but I was quite passive-aggressively apathetic (a-la Adam, the natural =) which only drove her more wild.

It was an eye-opening experience for me, and I’m glad I went through with it.  It sort-of made up for all those times she fucked with my head when we were seeing each other.

So I’ll just end the whole fiasco with this:  You can take the girl out of the trailer park, but you cant take the trailer park out of the girl.

Good riddance.

Thundercat

The Harmful Art of “Smeagoling”

**Reposted from the first Lair, original date: 1/6/04

Its funny why people get into the study of seduction and pick-up. Some get into it seeking to suppliment their skills. Others get into it to try and improve an area of their life they feel is lacking. And still others enter into its study because everything else has failed them. I’ve gotten to meet a lot of different people in my study of this subsection of psychology. Some of them are incredibly cool, others are boarderline psychotic. But most of the guys I’ve meet tend to fall in another category. And that is the category of “people with no social skills whatsoever.”

Its true, most guys who are bad with women are bad with social skills. Period. They do not know how to talk to people, how to relate with people, or how to connect with people. They can often be antisocial or shy to the extreme, not to mention insecure in almost all aspects of their lives. And when these types of people get into studying seduction, its almost as if they are handed a loaded gun and are sent off on a killing spree. For the first time in their lives, they are given a technology designed to suppliment their lack of social graces and they are more than willing to use it.

This gives birth to the “creepy seducer guy,” or what I like to call “Smeagols.” Smeagol is the Hobbit that turned into the creature Gollum in the Lord of the Rings. Its a funny parallel, but a valid one in my opinion. If you look at the character of Smeagol, he is a sad, pathetic character torn apart by hate, insecurity, weakness, and insurmountable mental anguish. He’s someone who what shunned by society, and harbors great bitterness and resentment towards it in return. But despite all this, Smeagol is a sneaky motherfucker. He is able to lie, and cheat, and steal, manipulating others to get what he wants. But he does so in a way where you never really trust him, and he comes off as creepy and two-faced.

This brings us to the guys with no social skills. I, and a few others, have noticed that in our associations with people who suffer from the lack of social skills and try to make up for it with the use of seduction tactics, often come off much like the dasterdly hobbit Smeagol, eventually blowing themselves out of sets by ringing too many of the girl’s alarm bells.

I noticed this in SS a lot. That is not to say that the skillset itself is bad, rather those who use it incorrectly often came off as “Smeagoling.” I know I’ve been guilty of this more than once when running pattern after pattern on a girl until they realized something wasn’t quite right and blew me out. This is also probably the largest problem people face when running game.

The harmful art of Smeagoling is quite hard to avoid unless you’ve got your inner game in such a place where you are congruent with the tactics you are using. Even the best of the best get blown out by Smeagoling because girls can pick up that they aren’t quite congruent with what they are presenting to them. Smeagoling can also occur when you push too hard for the close. So desperate are you for that “ring of power” between the girl’s legs, you’ll often push too hard and drive your “precious” away.

So how do you avoid Smeagoling the girl away? Well, the best tactic is to get her to chase you as opposed to agressively pursuing her. This is one of the reasons I dislike the “Make the Ho say No” Gunwitch style, though there is a time and place for that tactic. Often times, I’ve found the most powerful techniqes are those that push the girl away as opposed to pulling her back in. That is why something like “Cocky/Funny” works so well. Changing your reality to one where the girl is trying to seduce you and you constantly push her away and even BREAK rapport with her can be very powerful.

Some of the best tactics I know of to counter Smeagoling are in Swinggcat’s book, simply because his method is very much designed to prize yourself and turn the tables on the girl. DYD is very good to. Mystery Method has a certain Smeagol Factor because it depends on social proofing, where you need to tailor your approach to suit others a bit too much, not to mention that Mystery Method also uses a lot of tricks/gimmics (depending on the user, that is). The Old style of Speed Seduction had a high Smeagoling factor, and I think it still exists to a certain extent, especially since a lot of the newer stuff in SS is very blatently psychologicaly manipulative.

But no matter what method you use, nothing beats the Smeagol factor like being a confident person who is congruent with everything you do and say. And the only way I know how to do that is get to work on that inner game!

Getting away from the computer has been known to help as well. =)

Thundercat

The Harmful Art of “Smeagoling”

**Reposted from the first Lair, original date: 1/6/04

Its funny why people get into the study of seduction and pick-up. Some get into it seeking to suppliment their skills. Others get into it to try and improve an area of their life they feel is lacking. And still others enter into its study because everything else has failed them. I’ve gotten to meet a lot of different people in my study of this subsection of psychology. Some of them are incredibly cool, others are boarderline psychotic. But most of the guys I’ve meet tend to fall in another category. And that is the category of “people with no social skills whatsoever.”

Its true, most guys who are bad with women are bad with social skills. Period. They do not know how to talk to people, how to relate with people, or how to connect with people. They can often be antisocial or shy to the extreme, not to mention insecure in almost all aspects of their lives. And when these types of people get into studying seduction, its almost as if they are handed a loaded gun and are sent off on a killing spree. For the first time in their lives, they are given a technology designed to suppliment their lack of social graces and they are more than willing to use it.

This gives birth to the “creepy seducer guy,” or what I like to call “Smeagols.” Smeagol is the Hobbit that turned into the creature Gollum in the Lord of the Rings. Its a funny parallel, but a valid one in my opinion. If you look at the character of Smeagol, he is a sad, pathetic character torn apart by hate, insecurity, weakness, and insurmountable mental anguish. He’s someone who what shunned by society, and harbors great bitterness and resentment towards it in return. But despite all this, Smeagol is a sneaky motherfucker. He is able to lie, and cheat, and steal, manipulating others to get what he wants. But he does so in a way where you never really trust him, and he comes off as creepy and two-faced.

This brings us to the guys with no social skills. I, and a few others, have noticed that in our associations with people who suffer from the lack of social skills and try to make up for it with the use of seduction tactics, often come off much like the dasterdly hobbit Smeagol, eventually blowing themselves out of sets by ringing too many of the girl’s alarm bells.

I noticed this in SS a lot. That is not to say that the skillset itself is bad, rather those who use it incorrectly often came off as “Smeagoling.” I know I’ve been guilty of this more than once when running pattern after pattern on a girl until they realized something wasn’t quite right and blew me out. This is also probably the largest problem people face when running game.

The harmful art of Smeagoling is quite hard to avoid unless you’ve got your inner game in such a place where you are congruent with the tactics you are using. Even the best of the best get blown out by Smeagoling because girls can pick up that they aren’t quite congruent with what they are presenting to them. Smeagoling can also occur when you push too hard for the close. So desperate are you for that “ring of power” between the girl’s legs, you’ll often push too hard and drive your “precious” away.

So how do you avoid Smeagoling the girl away? Well, the best tactic is to get her to chase you as opposed to agressively pursuing her. This is one of the reasons I dislike the “Make the Ho say No” Gunwitch style, though there is a time and place for that tactic. Often times, I’ve found the most powerful techniqes are those that push the girl away as opposed to pulling her back in. That is why something like “Cocky/Funny” works so well. Changing your reality to one where the girl is trying to seduce you and you constantly push her away and even BREAK rapport with her can be very powerful.

Some of the best tactics I know of to counter Smeagoling are in Swinggcat’s book, simply because his method is very much designed to prize yourself and turn the tables on the girl. DYD is very good to. Mystery Method has a certain Smeagol Factor because it depends on social proofing, where you need to tailor your approach to suit others a bit too much, not to mention that Mystery Method also uses a lot of tricks/gimmics (depending on the user, that is). The Old style of Speed Seduction had a high Smeagoling factor, and I think it still exists to a certain extent, especially since a lot of the newer stuff in SS is very blatently psychologicaly manipulative.

But no matter what method you use, nothing beats the Smeagol factor like being a confident person who is congruent with everything you do and say. And the only way I know how to do that is get to work on that inner game!

Getting away from the computer has been known to help as well. =)

Thundercat

Look Out Don Juan, Here Comes **Mystery**!

**Reposted from the first Lair, original date: 1/6/04

For those of you who don’t know who Mystery is, he’s a Pick-Up artist from Canada who’s been around since the early days of ASF. Most of the techniques on fast-seduction.com have been pioneered by him, and he’s developed a LOT of Pick-Up theory as well as utilizing group dynamics in his pick-ups. To my knowledge, he is also the first ever Pick-Up Artist to do live, in-field workshops designed to train other men to approach women in bars and clubs.

I met Mystery last year at one of his workshops in LA, where his co-instructor Style (the most powerful of the Jedi) broke me of my fear of approaching. I’ve gotten to know Mystery a little bit since then and consider him to be one of the real deals of the seduction community.

Recently, Mystery has teamed up with Tyler Durden and Papa to “streamline” his seduction training business. With the advent of Project Hollywood (a lifestyle experiment that has Mystery, Style, Papa, and Herbal living in a large house of the Sunset Strip), Mystery is going to be passing the in-field training torch to Tyler Durden and focusing his energy on teaching seminars.

However, this is not the only thing Mystery has been up to. I’ve known for some time now that he is throwing his hat into the ring with the likes of David D’Angelo and Swinggcat and writing a book about his Seduction and Pick-Up theory. Not only that, but I have it on good authority that the book is now finished, or nearly finished, and will be marketed through Papa’s website — Real Social Dynamics.

I’ll be interested to read the book, because I’ve studied Mystery Method for a while now. I’m told that Mystery has simplified his method down from the most recent 27 Step Method to a 3 Step Method. My gut says that it may simply be “Meet, Attract, & Close” but that might be too basic for Mystery, who’s known to constantly advance and refine his material (sometimes to the point of incomprehencibility *coughM3cough*).

So though he may be “dumbing down” his approach for the masses, I don’t think that’ll affect his work much. Mystery’s real talent lies in his structural models of seduction, which I’ve gotten to see scrawled on various cocktail napkins. Hopefully he’s included some of them in the book.

As soon as I get my greedy little hands on a copy, I’ll be sure to post a review here, though I’m still working on reviews for both Real World Seduction and Double Your Dating. That, coupled with all my other writings, is keeping me quite bogged down at the moment.

In the meantime, I’ll just continue to pass on what I hear.

Thundercat

HBO Just Kicked My Ass!

**Reposted from the first Lair, original date: 1/6/04

Wouldn’t you know it?  Right after I make the decision to rid myself of television, I see two new promos on HBO for the new season of the Sopranos and a new series called Deadwood, and both look KICK ASS!  I’m all jazzed to see them now and pissed that I’m not going to have TV.  The Sopranos comes back in March, so hopefully I can get some financial boosts going by then so I can get my TV back by then, though it seems unlikely.  I wish I could only order HBO and nothing else, because that’s all I really watch anyways.

If there are any big, burly guys out there like me, check out the character Tony Soprano on the Sopranos.  He’s a great example of a "husky" PUA.  I might comment more on this in a later blog, because there’s a case study there that is quite interesting…

Thundercat

The Ultimate Secret to Getting Good With Women

**Reposted from the first Lair, original date: 1/6/04

So I wrote this article for Cliff’s List, but it seems Cliff continues to have trouble with his e-mail, so I don’t know if the newsletter ever got out.  Anyway, I was planning on reposting it here afterwards but since it seems most people didn’t get the newsletter I guess it really doesn’t matter.

This was probably the hardest article I’ve ever written because it deals with a lot of personal stuff.  Hope you guys get something from it so its not all a waste of time.  =)

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

The Ultimate Secret to Getting Good with Women
(an essay on Inner Game)

by Thundercat
******************************************
Everywhere I look, it seems like everyone is looking for the next “new” thing.  You know what I’m talking about.  We all want the next eBook, the next audio series, the next interview, the next pattern, the next routine, the next NEG, etc., etc…

The thing is, I’ve come to discover that when you become too involved in that sort of thing, you tend to stagnate your progress as a seducer and pick-up artist.  But why is that?  If you’re constantly getting updated on the latest tricks, tips, and gizmos, how can your game stagnate?  Simple.  The answer is that 90% of seduction stems from who you are, not what you say.

I’ve been in the game since 1998, though I haven’t really applied myself to getting good at this in a dedicated capacity until recently.  In my time studying, I’ve gotten to meet, hang out, sarge with, and befriend some of the best guys out there at picking up women – be they naturals or self-made gurus.  I’ve gotten to meet a lot of fakes, and a lot of people who are the real deal.  But more importantly, I’ve gotten to SEE what makes these people the real deal.  So what makes them real?  Two words:

Inner Game.

I have not always been into inner game.  Like many others, I’ve tended to overlook this aspect of pick-up and seduction (which is odd considering I spent 4 years working on my inner game before I got out into the field hard core).  I too wanted the new patterns, new openers, new NEGs, and all the other bells and whistles we use in seduction.  But the more I learn and the better I get, the more I start to realize how little this stuff matters, and how important inner game is.

This has only been reinforced by some conversations I had recently with my friend Swinggcat, who’s focus is very much on Inner Game, and who’s future newsletters are going to be covering various topics concerning it in more depth (you can sign up for his newsletters at his website www.realworldseduction.com.  I’ll also be reposting them on my blog).  The more I realize Inner Game’s importance, the more I find myself incorporating more of it into my interactions with women, and it is SO much more powerful than using canned material.

But the process of refining your Inner Game can be a long, arduous, and even scary task.  When I first started my work on Inner Game back in 1998, I was 300 lbs, scared to talk to women, had guilty feelings about sex, and numerous issues with anger and with my general outlook on life!  Basically, I’m someone who could have made some therapist somewhere a boatload of money.  But with the help of Speed Seduction and some of the people I met through that, I was able to work out my inner demons and refine my Inner Game, to the point where I am now around 200 lbs, can talk to women very easily, have NO guilt about sex, and am no longer dealing with anger or many of the negative traits that affected my life.

So what did I do?  What changed?  And what can others do to help them change?  Well, the answer is it won’t be easy.  You really have to become committed to changing the very NATURE of your BEING.  And it’s gonna be tough (for instance, I had to give up my RELIGION in order to fix myself.  That’s how deep you have to go)!  But when you make those changes, what you say and how you act springs from a place that is TOTALLY and COMPLETELY congruent with WHO YOU ARE, not who you are pretending to be.  And no matter how you cut it, that is so much more powerful than anything you can memorize.

The basics of changing your inner game starts with a journey of self-discovery.  And though that may sound like a heap of New Age crap, it’s very true.  You’ll want to start by listing all the traits that you do not like about yourself and you think is holding you back from accomplishing your goals with women.  Things like:

–I’m too fat
–I’m too skinny
–I’m too scared to talk to women
–I don’t have enough hair
–I have a disability
–I can’t control my anger
–I hate women
–I feel so lonely

And anything else you can think of that you feel uncomfortable, self-conscious, or helpless about.  Any negative thing that exists in your life, you gotta write it down!  The next step is to look at those negatives, and analyze everything.  Think about their ROOT CAUSES and find out why you feel the way you do.

For instance (and I’m baring my soul a bit here, so don’t laugh =), I’ve always been very self-conscious about my weight, and one of my things on my list was:

No girl will like me because I’m too fat.

So I looked at this and thought “Why is this such a part of my reality?  I’ve seen fat guys with hot chicks before.  I have fat friends who score with chicks all the time!  Why am I different?  Why is this holding me back?”  So I began to think of times before I realized my weight was an issue, and I came to a memory I had forgotten of me in the third grade.  There were three girls who used to sit in front of me in class, one of whom I had a crush on.  And one day, all three started teasing me about being fat, and they were so harsh about it that it made me cry.  That’s the first memory I have about being ashamed of my weight.  Everything since then, from refusing to wear shorts because of the thickness of my legs, to causing health risks by going on crash diets, can be traced back to that EXACT MOMENT in my life.  And not only that, but it was done by a girl I was attracted to!

Can you say “Trauma?”  I know I can.  But that was a real eye-opener for me.  That was a root cause of much of the Inner Game problems I had, and by tracing it back to that exact moment, not only was I able to identify it, I was able to DEAL with it, because I had a concrete instance to latch onto rather than a vague notion of a problem.

Once you have identified Root Causes for your problems, then it is time to work on fixing them so they stop affecting you negatively.  For instance, I discovered that part of my inability to lay a girl was because I had incredibly guilty feelings about sex, and this would cause me to “chicken out” at the last moment.  I traced this back to a strict Catholic upbringing not only from my mother, but from my schooling as well, which caused me to be overcome with guilt for not only wanting, but enjoying sex.  So, in order to fix it, I had to stop being Catholic.

That doesn’t mean I changed my beliefs, mind you. I still believe in God, and I still abide by the 10 commandments, but by giving up my Catholic Faith, I was able to shed much of the dogma that was weighing on me.  Things like feeling bad for lusting after a woman, or guilt over premarital sex became a non-issue because I changed the belief that was causing those feelings.

This is probably the hardest part of the process right here.  Its one thing to identify what’s wrong — that’s easy.  Its changing it that’s hard, and that’s where so many people screw up.  Changing my issues about my weight was no where near as easy as identifying them.  When I changed my weight issues, I actually went on a diet and exercise program where I shed nearly 100 lbs. over the course of 2 years.  And even then, my belief isn’t completely changed, because I’m still overweight (though not as bad as I was before).  This is the hard part of refining your Inner Game, but the most important because it determines how congruent you will become with your Outer Game later on.

The final step is adopting new beliefs with will determine your speech and actions from that point on.  Some of this is easy and can be done simply be deciding to believe differently from the way you did in the past.  Other factors of this are hard because they can only come from experience and continuing work on Inner Game.  For instance, one belief I adopted was “Every girl I meet is into me.”  This is important because I am a naturally critical person, as I’m sure so many other people are.  When I was interacting with a girl, even if she was giving me 50 signs she was into me, I’d ignore all of them looking for that ONE sign of disinterest, which my critical self would latch onto if it was presented.  That would mess up most of my sarges.  But with the new belief, I’m able to ignore 50 signs the girl may not be interested, but latch onto that ONE sign she is, and that allows me to be more effective in my pick-ups.

Most naturals and master seducers I’ve seen have their inner game down pat.  And when you get your inner game to such a state, things like routines, patterns, NEGs, whatever, tend to NATURALLY spring from who you are, because it’s congruent with your attitude and outlook.  Indeed, I’d have to say the most important factor when it comes to seduction is CONGRUENCY.

One of the problems I experience is that my outer self is not really congruent with who I am on the inside.  One of my good friends, Roadking, pointed out to me that what I say presents such a different person than how I look.  I look like a pretty mild-mannered AFC-ish guy when you meet me, but when I start gaming, I come off as a lovable, cocky/funny @sshole.  This prompted me to do some research and change how I looked on the outside.  One good resource for this is an eBook called Fashion For Fat Guys (www.fashionforfatguys.com).  I learned how to dress for my body type, but not only that, developed my own sense of style that’s more congruent with who I am on the inside, so that incongruency between how I talk and how I present myself isn’t such a big one.

I’ve also tried to enrich my life in other respects, by picking up more hobbies and reading more.  I even started my own daily seduction blog, which is a lot like an online diary that keeps me focused and actually helps me work through a lot of my Inner Game issues.  I know Ross Jeffries always encouraged keeping a journal, which I thought was bunk when I first started, but have come to realize it is a very powerful tool.  (If any of you are interested in reading it, you can find it at www.donutheadz.com/thundercat).

So in conclusion, here are the 6 steps to working out your inner game:

1.  List your sticking points, insecurities, etc.
2.  Determine Root Causes for them.
3.  Fix your Root Causes through change
4.  Adopt New Beliefs
5.  Enrich and Expand your Life
6.  Strive for Congruency

Once you have started fixing your inner game, you will begin to see drastic changes in your outer game.  Not only that, but you will see changes in ALL aspects of your life.  But you must be vigilant.  Inner Game work is an ongoing and never-ending process.  Some of it you can do by self-analysis, some of it can only be done through field work and the development of Outer Game, but it is always important that you strive to work on it.

So with the coming of the New Year, I plan on focusing more on Inner Game and fixing as many sticking points as possible.  Hopefully, so will you!  =)

Thundercat

Thundercat MIA?

**Reposted from the first Lair, original date: 1/6/04

Sorry for the delay in updates.  I just got back into LA late Sunday night, so I’m still adjusting to West Coast time.  News Years was pretty uneventful, I spent the whole night with my family celebrating.  I got to have a good heart-to-heart with my father New Years Day where we discussed a variety of things, in particular my current financial situation as well as my future plans.  It was good to get his perspective on things, but I’m not sure if its ultimately helpful because he really doesn’t understand where I’m coming from on a lot of things, but just to know I have is support is nice.

I’d like to also appologize to all the DC bro’s out there.  I thought coming into town that I’d have time to meet up with a few of them and sarge, but alas, it was not meant to be.  My family pretty much planned out the entire two weeks for me, so I had very little time or opportunity to get out of the house.

This year is going to be an interesting one, to say the least.  Not only do I plan to have lots and lots of sex in 2004, but I plan to be productive and get my life under control as well.  I’ve been reading a book called "The Richest Man in Babylon" which was recommended to me by a friend of mine who’s a self-made millionaire.  Its a book of parables that teach money management.  Its very good and has inspired me to take a few measures with my finances.  The biggest step is to limit my expenses, so I’m cancelling not only my satellite TV, but also my phone to save money (whether its my cell phone or home phone, I haven’t decided yet).  So the basic plan is to set aside 10% of my income into a savings account, set aside 20% to pay my bills/debts, and have 70% left over to live off of.

I’ve also unveiled a new look for 2004.  I’m now sporting a shaved head, along with a reverse goatee that not only makes me look a little dangerous, but also like I’m 10 years older.  I’ve been inspired by "Fashion For Fat Guys" to get some new clothes, which I did over the hollidays, so I’m stylin’ now.  Swinggcat told me I definitely have a "sleazy hollywood bad-boy" vibe going on, so I guess that’s a good thing.  =)

So here’s to starting this New Year off right!  Wish me luck, fellas.

Thundercat

No Updates for New Years

**Reposted from the first Lair, original date: 12/31/03

Hopefully you guys will be getting crazy this New Years Eve and having some great adventures. I know my buddy Adam (the Natural) started early and has already doubled up with 2 Las Vegas Strippers! (GO ADAM!) So you guys have a lot to live up to, lol.

Anyway, I’ll be with family yet again for the holliday, so I won’t be updating on New Years Eve or New Years Day, unless something really interesting happens in that time, which I doubt since family seems to destroy any luck I have with women at all.

Oh, and HAPPY NEW YEARS EVERYONE!

Thundercat

How To Treat Women When A Sarge Goes Bad

**Reposted from the first Lair, original date: 12/31/03

Okay, so let’s talk about something that will inevitably happen to everyone who actually gets out in the field from time to time, and that’s what to do when things go bad in a sarge.

This was a topic that was brought up and caught my eye on the SS list before I got Kicked and Banned from it. There was a guy who basically asked what you do if you go after a girl at a place you frequent, mess up, and keep seeing her again and again at that location and feel awkward about it.

This really comes down to two things in my opinion:

1.) Field experience
2.) Ability to read body language and IOIs

Something that comes with field experience is learning how to guage the level of interest the girl has with you. If she’s dropping Indicators of Interest (pupil dialation, logical rapport building questions, lots of kino, etc) then chances are good she will give you contact information, like a number, if you ask for it. Lots of guys will go for the number close after they have mild interest from the girl, and will continue pushing the subject after the girl refuses, which only reinforces their position NOT to give you the number.

One thing I try never to do (though sometimes I slip up and do it anyways) is ask a girl for her number. The guys who are good at this that I have observed rarely ask for any contact info. Often times, they will leave it up to the girl to ask for their number or offer her’s. Sometimes they have to prod the girls to do it, but if the women are interested, they’ll follow their lead.

One thing you don’t want to do is keep persisting like perviously mentioned. That’s too strong a sign of neediness. Best to let it blow by if they refuse and end it with a “Pleasure meeting you.” If she does frequent the club regularly, then chances are you’ll run into her again eventually anyway so you’ll have another chance at meeting her. This is something I know the mighty Zan does all the time. He will NEVER ask for a number, and simply relies on seeing the same girl again as a way to re-establish contact.

One thing most guys will do if they mess up with a girl is to ignore them if they see them again. I think ignoring girls who’ve snubbed you in the past is a bad move. I personally will at least go up to them and do a short set, re-esablish contact, be friendly, and move on. Let them know that their rejection did not hurt me and that I wasn’t just after the lay. It’s also a “gentle persistence” tactic I’ve picked up from watching a few other guys operate. Primoman is VERY good at this. If they see you/talk to you enough, you become harmless in their eyes and can fly under their radar, so to speak, and renew the sarge.

So what’s the best way to keep from messing up a sarge? Well, probably the best way is to know your shit! But since field work is really the only way to do that, you’re gonna have to brush up on the theory. Basically, you can do a couple things to prevent mess-ups from happening, but they all have to do with:

1. Raising your value
2. Creating a need for your validation within the girl
3. Creating challenges and obstacles for that validation

The best method for doing this in my opinion is the Swinggcat Method, but Mystery Method is also very good at this type of thing, which is probably why I rate them as the two best systems out there right now.

Where most guys often mess up is with the “creating challenge” part. Your average dude starting this stuff might try some inactive disinterest tactic where he walks around acting like a player in the hopes that the girl will notice and be enraptured with his “player-hood.” This very rarely works since most girls will assume you’re not interested if you aren’t talking to them, and if you haven’t captured their attention enough to chase you, they will generally leave you to your own devices.

Basically, offering challenges comes down to being difficult with a girl the same way a hot girl would be difficult with a guy who’s chasing her. Little things like not doing what she wants, teasing her, cracking jokes about her, takeaways, intentional undermining, and not taking her shit go a long way to creating this challenge. You can even get more advanced and create those “tension loops” Swinggcat talked about in his last newsletter, which are excellent ways of creating challenges.

You see, the distinction isn’t that you’re creating challenges for HER to overcome in order to get YOU, rather, YOU BECOME a challenge to HER normal view of reality, and that intrigues her to figure you out. If a girl percieves a guy as being a “player,” I’ve found they’ll simply opt to let him play his games while she finds some other chump who’ll play her’s. However, if a guy can successfully destroy a girl’s current reality and suck her into his reality where she has to struggle to understand his actions, she will start the process of attraction right then and there, and that’s basically what challenges are meant to do.

Another area where guys can mess up doing this stuff is in Day-2 game, where they get back together with the girl. Many newbies have trouble overcoming the “date” frame where they take a girl out. They just simply don’t know what to do differently and end up falling into AFC-traps from before. All I do is ask them to join me for an activity I’m already doing. You still are technically “dating” the girl, but just be sure that you aren’t paying all the bills (I say keep it to under $30) and its an activity that you like to do anyway, regardless of how she views it. She’s just a guest tagging along with you. You also want to use multiple venues in your outting as a time distortion tactic to build trust and comfort, rather than just staying in one place the whole time.

That’s what “structuring opportunities” is. Its simply giving her chances to be with you. But rather than putting it in the frame of “I want you, please go out with me,” you want to approach it as “I’m gonna go have fun and you can come if you want.” This is a trick I picked up from my buddy MasterClass, so props to him for sharing the wealth! =)

Okay, enough inane rambling for one post. Hope some of you get something from this.

Thundercat

Mama Mia

**Reposted from the first Lair, original date: 12/31/03
**Image removed

In their continuing quest to torture me while I’m home, my parents dragged me and my brothers out to see the Washington DC production of the hit musical "Mama Mia" at the National Theater today.  They first told me of this excursion about 10 minutes after I got off the plane about a week ago.  Now, I’m not a big fan of musicals, especially ones that have to do with weddings, so I told them I didn’t particuarly want to see that play.  What was their responce?

"You have no choice."

Yep.  My parent’s literally TOLD me I had no choice in the matter.  And they were right, I didn’t.  My mother started laying down the guilt trips on my brothers and I immediately after we expressed our disinterest, eventually forcing us to go.

So we went, and the play was so-so.  The story was pretty stupid, the acting sub-par, and there were only a few songs that were any good in my opinion (I was never a big fan of Abba to begin with).  However, the thing that surprized me the most was the number of WOMEN at the show!  Seriously, there were some really good looking women at the National Theater tonight, and there were TONS of them.  Many of the women were their with their girlfriends, and there were very few men there who weren’t with their family or under the age of 40.

I noticed a lot of chicks there who are what I dub "theater whores."  These are girls who I used to go after in high school where my excessive need for validation lead me to join the theater club.  These are girls who are escapist junkies.  They love to go to the theater for the thrill of it — to get caught up in the lights, glamour, fantasy, song, etc.  They’re the theater equivalent of the "party girls" that you find in bars, looking for the next high (a-la Tyler’s Post).  All you need to do is start talking to them about how great the play is and BOOM!  They’re yours, you’ve opened.  Quick & easy.  And the best part of it is that they are HIGHLY suggestible women, especially since they are into fantasy and escapism.

There are also quite a number of decent looking older women who go to these musicals and plays, all of which desperately need attention.  Another thing I love about it is that these "theater whores" are also usually failed or wannabe actresses, who are SO easy to seduce, because they are naturally suggestable.

This got me thinking that once I get back to LA, I might start attending more theater events.  LA has a large number of small playhouse productions every weekend where you can go and meet these types of women.  Not only that, but at small enough venues, you can even talk to the actresses, which is great because they are attention whores to the fullest and willing to cling to anybody who gives them the least bit of validation.  So I’ll be sure to experiment with this even more.

Also, throw in the "tourist factor" with theater events, and you’ve got some really good prospects.  In fact, I’m quite jealous of guys in New York right now because they probably have the best "theater whores" in the nation to pick on.  Oh well.

I’ll be sure to post field reports of this shit once I’m back to LA and into my old life again.

Thundercat

Homecoming Delayed

**Reposted from the first Lair, original date: 12/31/03

Just a quick note:

I discovered today that I will not be returning to Los Angeles until the 4th of January, noth the 3rd like I originally thought (or hoped, as the case may be).

Dear God, one more day in my own personal hell. 

Thundercat

Kicked and Banned — Follow Up

**Reposted from the first Lair, original date: 12/31/03

A quick follow-up to being kicked and banned from the SS List…

I can’t help but feel Ross inadvertantly did me a HUGE favor. Its funny, because I opened up my mailbox today, and it was like heaven not having to weed through all those SS posts! I was amazed at how much more fun e-mail had become! Isn’t that wierd? I was a bit worried because the SS list has been a staple in my mailbox for almost 7 years now, so I was concerned I’d miss it, but surprizingly I don’t!

In fact, I almost feel energized because I’d often post advice to that list that was either ignored or got me flamed by some people on there. I can’t tell you how frustrating it was when I posted valid advice that went counter to everyone else’s, and then when the guy I was trying to help followed everyone else’s advice, he ended up worse off than he was before. It was too emotionally draining for me to see that happen time and time again, and in a way, its a good thing its no longer part of my life.

I can only hope that either someone else comes in as a voice of reason on that list, or Ross starts taking a more active role in it to set everyone straight. His posts that usually consists of only one sentence or less aren’t of much use to anyone. In fact, I know a while back he got on people’s cases for being too harsh with their critisizms of other people, which in a way kept that list quite honest as opposed to pandering to the lowest common denomenator like it is now.

I’ve also been approached by Double Your Dating to do a review of their eBook, which I plan on doing sometime in January. I’ll probably do reviews of all the major seduction products as well, including SS, which will be as honest as I can make it now that I don’t have to worry about pissing Ross off anymore. Before I was trying not to do anything to overtly criticize Ross’s products because I really didn’t want his business to be affected (even though I honestly doubt the 3 people reading this website would affect anything of Ross’s, lol), but now that Ross has told be where I can shove it, I guess I don’t have to censor my opinions anymore. Though I will say that I’ll probably be looking at SS as an over-all system rather than at individual products, so there will be plenty of good to go with the bad, just as there are in all the products out there.

I’d also like to thank everyone who sent me e-mails of condolances and congratulations for getting Kicked and Banned from the SS List. It’s nice to know that at least privately, there is a substantial number of people who agree with my views, so I can be sure I’m not some raving loon. =)

Thundercat

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