The Taboos of Seduction

**Reposted from the first Lair, original date: 1/12/04

Saturday night, I found myself out on the town with my buddy Roadking, as well as my friend Alleycat (the artist formerly known as Poet Dude.  Will this guy ever stop changing his handle?).  We got together at a strip club that Roadking and I have had some success with in the past, and spent some quality time making fun of every stripper we could see.  Alleycat and I even created a new game, where we’d make fun of the stripper’s asses by using “ghetto” jokes (in the vein that they had “big asses” or “ghetto booty”).  I won the game with the best zinger of the night, which was basically – “That booty is so ghetto, it’s last welfare check bounced.”  That’s right, those words came out of my mouth.  Mom would be proud.

So the next stop of the night was down in Santa Monica, which had a kicking night scene.  In fact, I’d even go so far as to say that Main Street in Santa Monica is slowly taking over Sunset’s role as the best place to club hop.  Not only were there lots and lots of pretty young girls there, but the bars/clubs were very cool, close together, and cover free (always a plus).  The only drawback is that everything shuts down at a ridiculous time of 1:45 am.  In a way this can be good, because it might make it easier to pull from the bars, but it means you also have to get there earlier, which sucks.  But my experiences there with Roadking and Alleycat helped open my eyes to a few things and got me thinking about specifics of Pick-Up and Seduction.

Its funny how, when all the cards are down, our sex drive is very much animalistic – mainly because we are a type of animal.  I was watching something on Animal Planet today about the mating rituals of animals, and it struck me as odd how animals are so different from humans when it comes to sex.  As we all learned in the first grade (or when we got our first dog or cat), the female animal goes into heat at certain times of the year, and that draws the male of the species to them for some hot, stinky, animal lovin’.  At this time, the males are no longer concerned with hunting or anything like that, all they are after is pussy.  And then, once the female falls out of heat, everything goes back to normal and the male can care less if he’s getting his rocks off.  But the interesting thing is that during that time period of heat induced sex, the animals become rather moody and violent, mating in ways that can actually be quite dangerous.

This got me thinking that it’s probably a good thing that human females don’t go into heat.  But then the thought crossed my mind that when it comes to sex with humans, we’re still rather moody and violent, mating in ways that can actually be quite dangerous.  So maybe we’re wrong, and the difference is that girls are ALWAYS in heat.  But if that’s the case, why aren’t we raping chicks left and right?  That can only mean that human females are not, and don’t go into, heat of any sort.  This is a funny thought, because that means something very interesting:

Unlike animals, for humans, there is no division between sex and daily life.

Which means that there is no time of year where we as men are free from our desire to mate.  It’s never “turned off” and we can get back to hunting and frolicking in the wilderness.  Instead, we are constantly bombarded with sexual impulses, and because of that our lives are usually filled with distraction, depression, frustration, and anger.  So if we are all always constantly experiencing these sexual impulses, what is keeping us from acting upon them and pouncing on every woman that gives us a fraction of a boner?

The only thing I can think of is the social mores that have been thrust upon us.  That there have been rules, restrictions, and limits placed on our behavior.  In short, we have created a system of social pressures that continually keeps us repressed, keeps our desires in check, and for many of us, keeps us from getting laid.  Namely, we’re reigned in by “Taboos.”

Look at all the taboos we have out there:  Incest is bad.  Sex before marriage is bad.  Sex with little kids is bad.  Sex with members of the same sex is bad.  Sex with animals is bad.  Adultery is bad.  Sex with multiple partners is bad.  Orgies are bad.  Oral sex is bad.  Anal sex is bad.  Doggie Style is bad.  Rough sex is bad…

The list goes on.  Now, I’m not here to judge these taboos.  Some of them are necessary (like Incest and pedophilia).  But if you look at it in a machiavellian sense, if you strip away all the social restrictions thrust upon us which we did not have the right to willingly adopt ourselves – the deck is very much stacked against us when it comes to getting laid.

Look at what is socially acceptable nowadays.  Dating.  Dating sucks, but we’re taught that the best way to get laid is to ask a girl out, take her out to eat, take her to a movie, buy her gifts, profess our undying love, marry her, and THEN get laid.  Well, I call bullshit on that.  Any guy out there who’s ever dated a woman in the hopes of fucking her knows this is a really inefficient system of achieving your goal.
The real goal here is SEDUCTION.  It’s the process of picking up a girl and attracting her to you, to the point where she wants to drop her pants and give you a piece of that pie.  But even the process of seduction is so taboo, that we as men are practically left impotent my modern society.

Because of all these restrictive taboos, human sexual energy has to be channeled into other activities.  Things like business, art, hunting, war – what have you.  Everything becomes an extension of our need for sex, because that energy has to be channeled somewhere, lest we destroy ourselves with it.  In fact, I’m willing to bet if you see someone who’s really productive, be it at the office or home, chances are they aren’t getting laid, simply because all that energy is being redirected somewhere else.

But as seducers, if we realize this, if we realize that these taboos exist, we can exploit them to our benefit.  It comes down to a very simple concept of seduction:  Everyone wants what they cannot have.  All these taboos tell us what we CAN’T or SHOULDN’T do.  As soon as we are told “no” or that this person or this activity was taboo, instinctively we’d become curious about it.  We’d find ourselves drawn to it simply because it is denied us.  What man out there hasn’t fantasized about doing something that is considered unacceptable by society?

This, in my opinion, is the embodiment of seduction.  It’s about exploiting a psychological weakness of humans that makes us irresistibly drawn to things that are forbidden.  That curiosity of taboos, the secret desire for a walk on the wild side, a peek into the underbelly of civilization where all our most deprived and forbidden fantasies exist.

However, some could argue that this doesn’t exist in this day and age, where so many of those taboos have been discarded.  Women are much more sexual and free in this era.  Homosexuality doesn’t carry that stigma to it, and bisexual women freely experiment with men and women every day.  Nothing is really taboo anymore.  But I’m thinking the exact opposite may be true.  Because of my observations in Santa Monica last night, and how I got to see the pinnacle of liberated women, I would have to say that I think there is great potential out there for women to be seduced more powerfully than any other time in history.
Basically, I think taboos have been broken because in modern times, everybody is too busy to be constrained by them.  We work longer hours, we have more we need to accomplish, we have bills to pay, people to meet, things to do, phone calls to return, email to answer, etc.  There is a continual feeling in the modern adult world that we are just TOO BUSY.  We never quite have any time for ourselves, never time to rest.  But I’d argue all this work and responsibility is just another form of taboo – it’s a way to regulate people, to divert that sexual energy of ours, to keep us confined to the dating mindset.  It keeps that Protestant culture that America was founded upon alive and well and keeps our lives devoid of pleasure and playfulness, replacing that with guilt and hard work.

On a social level, there remains a lot of pressure for us to conform with the masses.  There are all kinds of taboos and limits out there when it comes to how we are expected to behave.  There’s political correctness, which inhibits us from expressing how we truly feel.  We have an overdeveloped consciousness that makes us judgmental and causes us to scrutinize our life in political terms – if I say this, will I be looked down upon?  If I buy this, how will it reflect on my image?  If I wear these clothes, will I be accepted?  If I tell others how I feel, will I be shunned?  When you add all this up, I think many of us feel more repressed and restricted than anyone else in history.  But because of this, I think we secretly yearn for adventure, excitement, a chance to shirk all responsibility and to use our time for play instead of work.  We want pleasure, the chance to enjoy life.

And that’s what being a great seducer boils down to in my opinion.  Being a person who creates those escapes, those alternatives, those temptations.  Like they say, the best way to get rid of a temptation is to give into it.  So it is up to us to exploit those taboos to get what we want – sex.

How do we do this?  There are many ways out there.  All the systems are in a way designed to do this in certain respects.  Mystery Method is about escapism, wowing others with entertaining stories and getting them wrapped up in your charisma.  Speed Seduction is about leading their imagination and making them think about all the things they’d rather be doing.  Double Your Dating is about interrupting their reality and sucking them into yours.  We use all sorts of tools, from talking about childhood fantasies, to using time distortion and false time constraints, to playing upon gender roles, to using preplanned routines to wow them.

The truth is that every human encounter has a sexual undertone and every interaction is a potential seduction.  All that differs is how you use that interaction to get what you want.  But the exploitation of taboos seems to open up all types of possibilities that the methods I listed above do not seem to cover.  This, coupled with my experience in “The Subtle Art of Manipulation” post have opened my eyes to a new direction, and what I feel could very well be the future of seduction science.  If you’re a careful reader, you can probably already guess what I’m talking about, but I haven’t field tested it enough to really talk about it in more detail just yet.

But when I do, you can bet you’ll read it here first.

Thundercat