Easy Ways To Talk To Women
February 19, 2010 by Thundercat
Filed under Tips & Tricks
DrWho over at mASF has a problem keeping conversations going with women.
DrWho writes:
Hi everyone,
for quite some time my largest problems is to be keeping conversations going and interesting. I could improve things a little by memorizing canned material and regularly surfing the internet for cool, fun stuff to talk about. I know about the typical topics girls like to talk about (psychology, esoterica, relationships, celebrities, emotionally stimulating stuff, etc.) and try to specifically look for the right stuff. I am able to show the right emotional state to make girls talkative (relaxed, playfully funny, energetic). Still most of the time a don’t have a fucking idea what to say – and the chick also not.
When I open a chick or get opened by one (yes, it happens to me every half a year or so), after a few sentences the conversation stalls because nothing comes to my mind. If I hang out with a girl quickly we start talking about the weather or just walk along in silence.
Previously I believed it is mostly a mind blank due to panic, but watching it for some time I notice I also don’t know what to say to people when I’m relaxed and nothing is at stake. I guess I’m not very creative and I think creativity is something very hard to learn. So I’m stuck.
I’m wondering if there is some more systematic way to find conversation topics than ‘just say what comes to your mind first’. I like ideas like the routine to watch the people around you looking for something to talk about to your target (still this one doesn’t work well most of the time because I rarely find interesting things to mention). Someone knows of a structured method of coming up with a conversation topic or a good book on the topic?
I hope I don’t get shot down because I emphasize that I want something systematic. I think this is reasonable because being creative in a structured way is much easier than doing it completely free. If someone is interested the article below should bring this point across.
I can definitely sympathize with DrWho here. Having a hard time carrying on conversations is a pretty common problem and I used to suffer from the same thing. After all, conversation is WORK. It requires mental engagement and interest in what you’re talking about.
In my course Pure Personality, I teach a method that I call “conversational ninjitsu” that allows you to carry on conversations effortlessly by following a few easy steps. Once you get the hang of it, it can be quite effective.
But barring buying a full course or memorizing a bunch of canned material, the method I’ve found most effective in talking and carrying on conversation is a very simple “fish and hook” method.
Basically, you can think of it like “Question and Answer time.”
Just ask someone questions until you find something you can relate to, and then share a story of your own that relates to the answer.
So for example, you could have an exchange like:
You: “Where are you from?”
Them: “Chicago.”
You: “Really? I’ve always wanted to go to Chicago and visit the Sears Tower. Have you ever been there?”
Them: “Oh yeah, it’s great!”
You: “Cool. If you could visit any location on Earth, where would you want to go?”
etc., etc.
It’s not rocket science, but it is effective.
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Hongzhi 황제의 목소리는 매우 부드러 웠고 그의 말은 … 매우 부드럽습니다.
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読者のニーズに応える実用性の高い内容が素晴らしい!
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Fang Zhengqing Qiqi Ai는 “아버지, 황제의 손자가 가지 않으면 Xu Pengju에게 좋지 않습니다. “라고 말했습니다.
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“예.” Xiao Jing의 마음이 움직인 후 고개를 끄덕였습니다.
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Fang Jifan은 약간 혼란 스러웠습니다. 장남과 관련이 있습니까?
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사실 이런 연구에는 지름길이 없습니다.
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Xiao Jing은 “대담합니다. 이렇게 놓아주세요 …”라고 말할 수밖에 없었습니다.
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그런 다음 일부 계약서에 서명하고 보증금 영수증이 있습니다.
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Hongzhi 황제는 말하면서 부담없이 이곳을 걸었습니다.
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生活に直接役立つ情報が満載で、素晴らしい記事です。
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정말 나쁜 소식이 있으면 황제의 할머니가 깨어나면 두렵습니다…
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하루에 많은 일이 일어날 수 있지만 빠르게 지나가기도 합니다.
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読みやすく、とても有益な記事でした。これからも読み続けます。
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그는 결심했지만 Fang Jifan과 더 이상 이야기하고 싶지 않았지만 일어나 작별 인사를했습니다.
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이 황실 근위대는 전혀 예상하지 못했습니다… 반응하기에는 너무 늦었습니다.
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Hongzhi 황제는 큰 걸음을 내딛고 Zhen Guo Mansion에서 돌진했습니다.
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그래서… 그들은 황급히 절을 하며 말했습니다.
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