We’re Artists, Not Just Craftsmen

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The legendary Vince Runza has graced the General boards of mASF with yet another sage post.

Vince Runza writes:
To the Group:
Ideally, every chick you successfully sarge will flip over you. However, the reality many guys here experience is less than ideal. In fact, most guys here came looking for better results than complete failure. Heh, there are guys who’d consider it a major success if they could get a chick to kiss them AND caress their back at the same time!

While there are many different approaches to closing, the measurement standard for success is the !close. However, there are lame !closes and not so lame !closes. Check out the Playettes board for what it’s like for a chick to !close an ALF – Absolutely Lame Fuck. There are guys who need to know that sexual prowess is not measured by blowing your load. It’s measured by how you are remembered by the blowee.

I remember reading a post by a guy who had a chick who was so turned on by him, she’d literally drip her juices on him, in anticipation of what was to come (!). Truly, the best measure of how you’re doing with women is how sexy you are AFTER the first time you both seal the deal.

For those of you who have never had a chick flip over you, make that your next short term goal. Do whatever it takes to achieve it. Read books on sexual technique, get feedback from other guys who know the game, debrief chicks on how they perceive you, and so on. Strive to excel.

After all, we are artists, not just craftsmen.

Good stuff from one of the originals in the community. I think it is important to get your bedroom game up to snuff so you can give the woman you’re with such a wonderful experience that she keeps coming back again and again. It just makes your life so much easier. =)

You can read all of Vince’s thread here.

We’re Artists, Not Just Craftsmen

The legendary Vince Runza has graced the General boards of mASF with yet another sage post.

Vince Runza writes:
To the Group:
Ideally, every chick you successfully sarge will flip over you. However, the reality many guys here experience is less than ideal. In fact, most guys here came looking for better results than complete failure. Heh, there are guys who’d consider it a major success if they could get a chick to kiss them AND caress their back at the same time!

While there are many different approaches to closing, the measurement standard for success is the !close. However, there are lame !closes and not so lame !closes. Check out the Playettes board for what it’s like for a chick to !close an ALF – Absolutely Lame Fuck. There are guys who need to know that sexual prowess is not measured by blowing your load. It’s measured by how you are remembered by the blowee.

I remember reading a post by a guy who had a chick who was so turned on by him, she’d literally drip her juices on him, in anticipation of what was to come (!). Truly, the best measure of how you’re doing with women is how sexy you are AFTER the first time you both seal the deal.

For those of you who have never had a chick flip over you, make that your next short term goal. Do whatever it takes to achieve it. Read books on sexual technique, get feedback from other guys who know the game, debrief chicks on how they perceive you, and so on. Strive to excel.

After all, we are artists, not just craftsmen.

Good stuff from one of the originals in the community. I think it is important to get your bedroom game up to snuff so you can give the woman you’re with such a wonderful experience that she keeps coming back again and again. It just makes your life so much easier. =)

You can read all of Vince’s thread here.

Deconstructing David DeAngelo, Vol. I

Well, my Deconstructions of Swinggcat’s Newsletters seem to be pretty popular, so I’ve decided to do the same thing with David DeAngelo, probably one of the most prominent Dating Guru’s on the internet.  You may know David D. from his Double Your Dating series, along with his almost weekly newsletters.  So I’m taking some of his best newsletters and breaking them down for you.

“The Ten Most Dangerous Mistakes YOU Probably Make With Women—And What To Do About It…”

Here  Are The Top Ten Reasons Why Men Fail With Women—And How To Make Sure YOU Avoid  Every One Of These Deadly Common Mistakes…
-By David DeAngelo, Author Of “Double Your Dating”

MISTAKE  #1: Being Too Much Of A “Nice Guy”
Have you ever noticed that the really attractive women never seem to be attracted "nice" guys?

Of course you have.

Just like me, I’m sure you’ve had attractive female friends that always seemed  to date "jerks"… but for some reason they were never romantically interested  in YOU.

What’s going on here?

It’s actually very simple…

Women don’t base their choices of men on how "nice" a guy is. They choose  the men they do because they feel a powerful GUT LEVEL ATTRACTION for them.

And guess what?

Being nice doesn’t make a woman FEEL that powerful ATTRACTION.

And being NICE doesn’t make a woman CHOOSE you.

I realize that this doesn’t make a lot of logical sense, and it’s hard to  ACCEPT… but GET OVER IT.

Until you accept this FACT and begin to act on it, you’ll NEVER have the success  with women that you want.

David D. strikes a very good point here, and that is:  Without tension, there can be no attraction.  You guys ever hear that old saying "Sexual Tension?"  Well, there’s a reason it’s "Sexual."  Nice guys try to eliminate ALL conflict, ALL tension from their interactions with women because they mistakingly believe that by doing so, the woman will like them.

Well, it’s quite the opposite.

If you look at the "ass holes" or the guys that are good with chicks, you’ll see that for the most part they are good at creating that tension that’s just under the surface of the interaction.  Be it by a devilish smile, or a suggestive comment that get’s the wheels in the girl’s brain churning, there’s something there that is NOT complacent or safe.

When you can create that tension, you will be taken out of the "nice guy" category.

MISTAKE  #2: Trying To “Convince Her To Like You"
What do most guys do when they meet a woman that they REALLY like… but she’s just notinterested?

Right! They try to "convince" the woman to feel differently.

Well, I have news for you… YOU WILL NEVER CHANGE HOW A WOMAN "FEELS" WHEN  IT COMES TO ATTRACTION!

Never, ever, EVER.

You cannot CONVINCE a woman to feel differently about you with "logic and  reasoning".

Think about it.

If a woman doesn’t "feel it" for you, how in the world do you expect to change that FEELING by being "reasonable" with her?

But we all do it.

When a woman just isn’t interested, we beg, plead, chase, and do our best  to change her mind.

Bad idea. One that will never work.

I think this is a mistake every guy has made during his lifetime.  We get so into a girl, and when we find out she doesn’t feel the same way, we try to convince her of all the reasons WHY she should reciprocate our feelings.

Part of the reason this happens is becuase most guys don’t do the groundwork necessary upon the first meeting to evoke those feelings in the woman.  That "Sexual Tension" we talked about earlier is not present.  The guy has failed to engage the woman on any level other than "trust and comfort."  He has, in essence, failed to seduce her.

I like to think there are ways to turn this situation around, but one thing is for certain, arguing with the girl and trying to explain to her using logic why she should like you will never, ever work.

MISTAKE  #3: Looking To Her For Approval Or Permission
In our desire  to please women (which we mistakenly think will make them like us), us guys are always doing things to get a woman’s "approval" or "permission".

Another HORRIBLE idea.

Women are NEVER attracted to the types of men who kiss up to them… EVER.

Don’t get me wrong here.

You don’t have to treat women BADLY for them to like you.

But if you think that treating a woman well means "always getting her approval  and permission for things", think again.

You will never succeed by looking for approval. Women actually get ANNOYED at men who seek their approval.

Doubt me? Just ask any attractive woman if Wussy guys who chase her around  and want her approval annoy her…

Let’s face it.  People are lazy.  They don’t want to make decisions for themselves.  They don’t want to be in charge.  They want leaders, a cause, a belief to invest themselves in.  When it comes to women, they want a STRONG MAN to be with.  Now, when I say strong, I don’t mean physically strong.  I mean a man with a strong frame, strong beliefs, strong ideas.  A man who knows what he wants and isn’t afraid to tell others what to do.

This is important, because most guys have been trained to put women on pedistals, to worship them like some type of special flower.  But women are people.  When you exhault them, you put them in a position they don’t want to be in.  You put them in CONTROL.  The woman suddenly becomes the one who has to make the decisions, who has to carry on the relationship, and frankly, she has too many other options available to her to do that.

Part of attracting women comes down to getting the woman you want to qualify to you, to accept the chellenges you present to her.  In essence, to get her to adopt your frame, and do what YOU want to do.

MISTAKE #4: Trying To “Buy” Her Affection With Food And Gifts
How many times have you taken a woman out to a nice dinner, bought her gifts and flowers, and had her REJECT you for someone who didn’t treat her even HALF as well as you did?

If you’re like me, then you’ve had it happen a LOT.

Well guess what?

It’s only NATURAL when this happens…

That’s right, I said NATURAL.

When you do these things, you send a clear message:

"I don’t think you’ll like me for who I am, so I’m going to try to buy your attention and affection".

Your good intentions usually come across to women as over-compensation for insecurity,  and weak attempts at manipulation. That’s right, I said that women see this as  MANIPULATION.

That’s right, and it’s the typically accepted "Dating Frame" that most guys buy into hook, line, and sinker.  The fact of the matter is, buying expensive dinner and gifts is a REWARD, not a temptation.  You can do that with girls you enjoy being with, that you are ALREADY sleeping with, because they’ve earned the priviledge of your affection — they know it, and you know it.

Until that time, it comes off as begging.  Supplication.  It’s you seeking a type of approval from a woman by "romancing" her.  In the meantime, you’re eliminating that necessary tension that needs to exist for attraction.  It’s okay to "go out" with a girl, but you don’t need to break the bank or shower her with gifts for her to like you.  Sharing a cup of coffee or a drink is fine.

MISTAKE  #5: Sharing “How You Feel” Too Early In The Relationship With Her
Another huge and unfortunate mistake that most  men make with women is sharing how they "feel" too early on.

Attractive women are rare.

And they get a LOT of attention from men.

Most men don’t realize this, but attractive women are being approached in one way or another ALL THE TIME.

An attractive woman is often approached several  times a DAY by men who are interested. This translate into dozens of times per week, and often HUNDREDS of times per month.

And guess what?

Attractive women have usually dated a LOT of  men.

That’s right. They have EXPERIENCE.

They know what to expect.

And one thing that turns an attractive women off and sends her running away faster than just about anything is a guy who starts  saying "You know, I really, REALLY like you" after one or two dates.

This signals to the woman that you’re just like all the other guys who fall for her too fast… and can’t control themselves.

Don’t do it. Lean back. Relax.

There’s a much better way…

Sharing your feelings with a woman too early on is much like showing your opponant you have a straight flush in a high stakes poker game.  When you tell a woman you have strong feelings for her early on, you eliminate the sexual tension that attraction relies on.  You take away the uncertainty of "Does he like me or not?" you put her fears and anticipations to rest.

In short:  You kill the romance.

Not only that, but you exhault her and put yourself in the position of a begger.  NOT the place you want to be in.  Best to hide your intentions, and get HER to express her feelings for YOU first.  Only then is it appropriate to tell her, because then she feels like she’s EARNED those feelings.

MISTAKE #6: Not “Getting” How Attraction Works For Women
Women are VERY different from men when it comes to ATTRACTION.

You need to accept this fact, and deal with it.

When a man sees a beautiful, young, sexy woman, he INSTANTLY feels a sexual  attraction.

But does the same apply for women?

Do women feel sexual attraction to men based mostly on looks? Or is something  else going on?

Well, after studying this topic for over five full years now, I can tell you that women usually have their "attraction mechanisms" triggered by things OTHER than looks.

Have you ever noticed that you see a lot more average and unattractive men with beautiful women than the other way around?

Think about it.

Women are more attracted to certain qualities in men… and they’re attracted to the way a man makes them FEEL than they are to looks alone.

If you know how to use your body language and communication correctly, you can make women feel the same kind of powerful sexual attraction to you that YOU feel when you see a hot, sexy young woman.

But it’s not an accident. You have to LEARN how to do this.

And ANY guy can learn how…

This is very true.  I’ve talked a bit about how guys have these mental barriers they project into the real world.  Things like "She won’t like me because I’m too bald, fat, ugly, etc."  That’s because in our reality as men, we do not find women who are ugly to be attractive.  But when it comes to women, who are more emotional creatures and rely more on their feelings than logical thought when it comes to attraction, the biggest thing that gets them going is how a man can COMMUNICATE with them.

Communicate in ways such as what we say, body language, and our actions as men.  Taking strong frames of "I am the prize.  I am a great guy and women will be lucky to be with me" and imposing that on others will get you the same effect as a gorgeous body and Brad Pitt-like face, if pulled off right.

Guys who are good looking have a distinct, inherent advantage over the rest of us.  But if they are boring guys who fail to keep the woman engaged, she is going to move on and look for someone else.  You may not be able to change your looks, but you CAN change the way you communicate with women.  In that respect, there is hope for all of us, and in my opinion, this is the area where Double Your Dating shines the most.

MISTAKE #7: Thinking That It Takes Money And Looks
One of the most  common mistakes that guys make is giving up before they’ve even gotten started…  because they think that attractive women are only interested in men who have looks and money… or guys who are a certain height… or guys who are a certain age.

And sure, there are some women who are only interested in these things.

But MOST women are far more interested in a man’s personality than his wallet or his looks.

There are personality traits that attract women like a magnet…

And if you learn what they are and how to use them, YOU can be one of these guys.

YOU DO NOT have to "settle" for a woman just because you aren’t rich, tall, or handsome.

Let me say this again: If you know how to use your body language and communication correctly, you can make women feel the same kind of powerful sexual attraction to you that YOU feel when you see a hot, sexy young woman.

This is true.  The Looks and Money barrier is just a social construct of your own making.  I know LOTS of guys who AREN’T good looking and AREN’T rich who get an AMAZING ammount of pussy, all because they are cool, interesting guys.

For men, it’s hard to imagine this as being true, because if we see a woman we don’t find attractive, we don’t want to sleep with her.  She could be the coolest chick in the world, but if we can’t get a boner for her, we wouldn’t want to have sex with her.  However, the same is not true for women.  Women don’t get boners.  They get aroused in different ways, and this is what most guys fail to understand.

When a woman says "Oh, I’m not attracted to short guys," that’s not necessarilly the truth.  It just means that short guys don’t make her feel the same way that tall guys do.  But if a short guy were to come along and make her feel the way she wants to, you can bet the barn she’s going to sleep with him, despite his height.

It’s all about setting the right frame and having the right beliefs.

MISTAKE  #8: Giving Away All Of Your Power To Women
Earlier I mentioned  that it’s a mistake to look to a woman for approval or permission.

Well, another similar tactic that a lot of guys use is GIVING AWAY THEIR POWER to women.

Said differently, guys try to get women to like them by doing whatever the woman wants.

Another bad idea…

Women are NEVER attracted to men that they can walk all over… Women aren’t  attracted to Wussies!

Part of giving away your power is adopting the woman’s frame.  Entering HER reality.  When you let the woman you are with control the underlying meaning of the interaction you are having with her, you put yourself in a position where SHE determines what is true and what isn’t.  When you ask her questions, you enter her reality deeper and deeper.  You give up control.

When you do this, you take away sexual tension, and shuck all responsibility for the relationship.  And like I said before, women do not want that burden.  It’s always best to chellenge the woman, get her to qualify to you, and pull back, to the point where SHE is the aggressor, where SHE is persuing YOU.

MISTAKE #9: Not Knowing EXACTLY What To Do In Each Type Of Situation With Women
Now I’m going to  blow your mind…

A woman ALWAYS knows what you’re thinking.

Women are approximately TEN TIMES better than men at reading body language.  That’s ten TIMES.

I know, it might be hard to believe. But for example, if you’re out on a date  with a woman, and you want to kiss her, she knows it.

And if you don’t know exactly what to do and exactly HOW to kiss her, and you just sit there looking at her and getting nervous, she won’t help!

And this goes for ALL aspects of women and dating…

Approaching a woman, getting her number, asking her out, kissing her, getting physical… everything.

If you don’t know what to do in each situation, you will probably screw it  up… and LOSE EVERYTHING.

And you KNOW it.

It is VITALLY important that you know EXACTLY how to go from one step to the next with a woman… from the first meeting, all the way to the bedroom.

In short:  It’s good to have a structure.

It’s also good to have experience.  You need to know your stuff — your openers, your routines, your phase shifts, your kino games, your cold reads, etc.  And more importantly, it’s important to know how to put it all together, and how to act.

Twenty-six trained himself to do this by taking EVERY interaction he had with women, be they ugly or hot, as far as he could so he could understand this structure and practice the late game.  Women do notice details, and they are empathetic to the point where they can sense what you want to do (especially since most men are not in control of their body language).  Part of being a confident, cool guy is being experienced.  Being comfortable making your move, knowing what to do, not caring what others think or if the girl rejects him.

And the best way to get comfortable doing this is with PRACTICE.

MISTAKE #10: Not Getting HELP
This is the biggest mistake of all.

This is the mistake that keeps most men from EVER having the kind of success with women that they truly want.

I know, guys don’t like to make themselves look weak or helpless. We don’t  like to ask for help.

Hey, I’ve been there myself.

Let me tell you a little about me and how I figured out how to be successful with women…

About five years ago I became fed up with the fact that I didn’t know how to approach, meet, and get dates with women that I was attracted to.

It frustrated the hell out of me.

One night I was out with a friend, and I saw a woman I wanted to ask out,  but I just couldn’t get up the nerve to do it. I can still remember that night…  right on the spot I made the decision to do whatever it took to learn how to be  successful with women and dating.

Well, after a lot of hard work and trying all kinds of crazy things, I finally figured it all out.

I can now approach just about any woman and get her number almost instantly.  I’ve dated models, I’ve dated actresses, and I’ve dated nice, normal, regular girls as well.

It has been a very rewarding experience. I no longer feel that sick, insecure  feeling… like I don’t know how to meet women… and I might wind up alone.

I know that anytime, anywhere, I can go out and meet attractive women.

I’ve written a book on the topic, and I’ve done seminars on both coasts of  the United States… and taught tens of thousands of men all around the world.

It’s true, that most guys look at the need to meet, date, and seduce women as being a "dirty little secret."  It’s that thing that we all SHOULD be able to do naturally, but for some reason, if we can’t, we feel like failures.  I know this is something that I personally dealt with in my life.  I’ve talked to friends about it, asking for advice, but most of the time it was the blind leading the blind on that subject, even though I thought my friends were good with women.

That’s why learning how to Pick-Up and Seduce women is so important.  It’s about EMPOWERING yourself.  It’s about building yourself up and IMPROVING your life, instead of letting life just bowl over you.

I Now Have A FREE, Three-Times-A-Week Email Newsletter…
…But  the REALLY GREAT news is that I now publish a free email newsletter three times a week that teaches any guy how to increase his success with women DRAMATICALLY.

And I’d like to invite you to sign up.

It’s free, there’s no obligation, I’ll never share your email address with  anyone, and you can easily remove yourself anytime with no hassles (and no, I’ll never pull any of these tricks where I send you a bunch of unwanted junk email  when you try to remove yourself).

David DeAngelo’s newsletter is one of the oldest and best newsletters out there.  He does do a lot of mailbags, which I’m not fond of, but he also sends out some good essays that are worth checking out.  Plus, you can only get the GOOD DYD stuff through his newsletters, so if you’re looking to advance your skills, sign up and check out all David DeAngelo has to offer.

Of course, it even get’s better than that…

In addition to my free email newsletter, I also have a killer downloadable eBook that you can download right now and be reading in literally MINUTES from right now.

It’s JAM PACKED with dozens and dozens of specific strategies for overcoming  fear, approaching women, getting phone numbers and email address from women quickly,  great inexpensive or even free date ideas, and how to take things to a "physical" level smoothly and easily.

To sign up for my free three-times-a-week newsletter AND download your copy of this online eBook, just go here:

Free Newsletter And Download eBook

Oh,  And One More Thing…

In this day and  age of "instant gratification", I realize that this might just sound like another late-night info-mercial promising to make you rich by next week.

Well, that’s not the case.

I’ve spent a lot of time, effort, and energy writing this eBook. I wanted  to design and create a program that ANY guy could easily understand and start  using IMMEDIATELY to meet and date more women… without having to lie, do dishonest  things, or be "manipulative".

I now believe that ANY man can be more successful with women and dating, and  I get emails every day with success stories from guys who are using this program  to meet and date wonderful women.

I know, I know… an ebook that can teach a regular guy how to be more successful  in the dating world? No way.

Well believe me, this program will DRAMATICALLY increase your success with  women… I absolutely guarantee it 100%.

If you’d like to take your success with women and dating to the next level,  and have the kind of success that you’ve always wanted, then go sign up for my  free newsletter, get all the details, and check out some great free samples of  the eBook located here:

Free Newsletter And Download eBook

And I’ll talk to you again soon.

Your Friend,

David DeAngelo

P.S.   Do some friends a favor, and FORWARD this article to their email addresses. It might be the biggest gift you ever give them.

I’m going to take this opportunity and say that I think David DeAngelo’s ebook Double Your Dating is probably the most ESSENTIAL reading for any guy starting out with learning how to date and seduce women (with the exception of my book, which is probably even more essential, but I digress… =)

I haven’t written a review of the book yet, but I have read it a number of times in my years studying this material, and I think David DeAngelo lays out some solid concepts that are good for EVERYONE who wants to start off on the right track in getting their love life under control.  Simple concepts like how to be cocky and funny, some good insights on how women behave and why they act the way they do, and some good tactics on how to get the women you want, make his ebook all worth the money.

Also, if you buy the book through my site, I make some bucks off the deal, so if you want to, you can buy it here.  I plan on writing a detailed review of the book in the near future, with the good the bad and the ugly all laid out for everyone to read.  But in the meantime, I’d say if you’re new to the scene, Double Your Dating should be the first book you buy.

It’s How You Use It

Sexkitten has a little post up on her blog about Men and the subject of their greatest insecurity…

Sexkittten writes:
MAN AND HIS PENIS

Don’t you just hate it, when a man brags about how big and long a penis he has, and how if there were a penis marathon he would win. Then he drops his pants and you wonder, where is it? And beyond that, ten minutes or less of moans and groans, mostly his–is all you get from the deal?

What’s the freaking point? Do I go out looking for a man with the biggest penis? No. Does any of us? I gotta tell you, average works fine for me. I’m weary of men who brags about the size of his penis. One question comes to mind. “But can you fuck?” Do we care about penis size? Yes, but that’s not the point. The point is, if you can’t serve up a big one, don’t say you can. It’s not necessary unless all you’re after is a one night roll in the sack. And you’ll be thought of as a dud anyway if after all that buildup we have to wonder “where is it?” And then only get ten lousy minutes when we were expecting marathon sex.

It’s funny when you brag about the size of your cock, because no matter what you say,or how long you may be, you’re ALWAYS selling yourself short. It’s best if you overexagerate in the OPPOSITE direction. This is a little trick I picked up from listening to Howard Stern over the years.

Howard will constantly talk about how small his dick is, and how he’s hung like a gnat and all that stuff. But if you notice, this joke is so inconsistent with the frame he sets (that of the powerful, dominant, judging male), that the women he talks to always end up QUALIFYING his cock-size for him, saying things like “How-ard…” and “I’m sure it’s fine,” or “It’s a good size…” what have you. Basically, he gets the girls to try and convince HIM that his dick is a good size!

When the subject of dick size comes up in conversations with women, I’ll always talk about how small I am (even though I like to consider myself average). There’s a post on mASF somewhere where Tyler jokes about how his dick is 2 1/2 inches. So I tell girls that my dick is only 2 1/2 inches, and that I actually prefer to think of it as a massive clitoris, as opposed to a small dick, just to make myself feel better.

This will make the girls laugh. And I’ll joke about how if we were naked together, I’d make her all insecure because my clit is WAY bigger than hers. This is a fun way of reframing things and shifting the talk to “sexual.”

Anyway, that’s my 2 1/2 cents on the subject.

It’s How You Use It

Sexkitten has a little post up on her blog about Men and the subject of their greatest insecurity…

Sexkittten writes:
MAN AND HIS PENIS

Don’t you just hate it, when a man brags about how big and long a penis he has, and how if there were a penis marathon he would win. Then he drops his pants and you wonder, where is it? And beyond that, ten minutes or less of moans and groans, mostly his–is all you get from the deal?

What’s the freaking point? Do I go out looking for a man with the biggest penis? No. Does any of us? I gotta tell you, average works fine for me. I’m weary of men who brags about the size of his penis. One question comes to mind. “But can you fuck?” Do we care about penis size? Yes, but that’s not the point. The point is, if you can’t serve up a big one, don’t say you can. It’s not necessary unless all you’re after is a one night roll in the sack. And you’ll be thought of as a dud anyway if after all that buildup we have to wonder “where is it?” And then only get ten lousy minutes when we were expecting marathon sex.

It’s funny when you brag about the size of your cock, because no matter what you say,or how long you may be, you’re ALWAYS selling yourself short. It’s best if you overexagerate in the OPPOSITE direction. This is a little trick I picked up from listening to Howard Stern over the years.

Howard will constantly talk about how small his dick is, and how he’s hung like a gnat and all that stuff. But if you notice, this joke is so inconsistent with the frame he sets (that of the powerful, dominant, judging male), that the women he talks to always end up QUALIFYING his cock-size for him, saying things like “How-ard…” and “I’m sure it’s fine,” or “It’s a good size…” what have you. Basically, he gets the girls to try and convince HIM that his dick is a good size!

When the subject of dick size comes up in conversations with women, I’ll always talk about how small I am (even though I like to consider myself average). There’s a post on mASF somewhere where Tyler jokes about how his dick is 2 1/2 inches. So I tell girls that my dick is only 2 1/2 inches, and that I actually prefer to think of it as a massive clitoris, as opposed to a small dick, just to make myself feel better.

This will make the girls laugh. And I’ll joke about how if we were naked together, I’d make her all insecure because my clit is WAY bigger than hers. This is a fun way of reframing things and shifting the talk to “sexual.”

Anyway, that’s my 2 1/2 cents on the subject.

Threesome, Anyone?

Sir Italian has an excellent post up on his excellent blog about getting your lady to want a threesome.

Sir Italian writes:
How To Make Your Lady Really Want a Threesome

A few of you have asked me to write more on threesomes. There are some typical patterns that happen in the preparation, so I’ll share how I prepared a lady for a threesome. Many of the principles for this can be found in David Shade’s Manual.

BerlinGirl is one of my two MLTRs. I love her: she’s smart, rotzfrech, funny, HSE, HSD, and attractive (175cm, long blonde hair, hard body, cute but not model-like – maybe a 8.5 looks-wise).

In the beginning, she was hesitant to the idea of threesomes – like most women are, when you first bring up the topic. They have to be, as it goes against many social standards: Won’t he get jealous? Isn’t this weird? And, most important of all, won’t I look like a cheap street slut from Panama City?

A good way to start is by sharing some fantasies; this is what David Shade proposes as well. Give her one innocent and one spicey threesome erotic story to read. Give her some time to masturbate to them, while you’re away. This establishes the base, but from my experience, it won’t suddenly make her like the idea.

I like to pedal back and continue with something lighter then. I’ll make a game out of sharing erotic fantasies: She tells one, I tell one a couple of days later. They need the feeling that it’s okay and safe to talk about them, that you won’t burst out laughing, disrespect her in any way for these fantasies, or run off and tell them to her neighbor. Then you’ll be amazed about what they come up with.

So my fantasy was: “I want to see you kiss a girl.” That’s harmless, right? I’ve found this is a good way to start things. And indeed, she heard it, was hesitant, we fucked, and in the afterglow, she admitted she had already kissed her best friend in high school. I think most women have had similar experiences.

To make it even safer, I said: “But I don’t want you to kiss a friend of you. I would get jealeous! I want you to kiss a stranger, a set of disposable lips.”

BerlinGirl was very interested in this. She loved the idea of me selecting a lady for her to kiss.

A day later, we went to a sex shop together, and rented some porn DVDs. Some porn, some glory, for the ladies! Did you ever see a porn movie without female-female scenes? Ha! And believe me, nothing will install the idea of a threesome more effectively than when you fuck her doggy-style while she watches a scene where a man fucks a lady doggy-style and the lady licks another lady!

One of the next nights, we went out to a club, sat down on a cosy sofa, and watched the ladies walking by. We would share what we liked about them and what not. This made her feel that the experience bonded us closer together. When we both agreed that a girl was worthy of the kiss, I would approach her, run normal game, and invite her to sit down with us. We talked about bi-curiousness, BerlinGirl was touching her all over, and at one point, they simply kissed. It was beautiful.

It would have been easy to go further, but after ten minutes, we let the interaction slow down and BerlinGirl and I moved to the bar. That was the first real threesome! And BerlinGirl loved it.

She was now convinced that a threesome would bring us closer together, that she would enjoy it, and that it would be a very normal next step.

The actual act was reduced to going out, finding a lady, bringing her back home, and fucking until exhaustion. I have already talked about that elsewhere, so I’ll direct you to the blogroll for your pornographic joy.

When is Sir Italian just going to come out and admit it? He’s James Bond. Only someone with a liscense to kill could get away with this stuff! lol.

Anyway, lots of good stuff in this post. If you haven’t gotten it already, I HIGHLY recommend checking out the David Shade Manual. It’s probably one of the best little underground books on sexual technique out there. It’s a bit heavy on the Hypno stuff, but there are definitely some good, solid techniques in there, which Sir Italian seems to exploit whenever he gets the chance. =)

You can check out David Shade’s Manual here.

What’s up with Mailbags?

You know, I check out a lot of sites that have to do with dating and seduction for my daily reading.  I enjoy the message boards the most because they all have such a varied and different perspective on things, and those are usually the places where the best material is found.

Then you got the other sites with untold Dating Guru’s writing article after article.  But the thing is, they aren’t really articles.  They’re mailbags.

Most people in the community know what mailbags are, thanks to David DeAngelo and his infamous newsletters.  Mailbags are when people write in to the Guru of their choice, asking for help, and then said Guru responds.  The thing is, as I look around the internet, all I seem to find is mailbag after mailbag of advice when it comes to dating.

So my queston is:  What good is this to me?

Mailbags are usually so personalized to the person who’s writing in, that any advice the Guru could share ceases to be of any real use to anyone other than the person who originally wrote them.  I guess this is the "Dear Abbey" school of thought where she actually made a CAREER of publishing people’s letters in the newspaper and giving them watered down "feel good" advice.

The thing is, back when Dear Abbey started, there was no one around who did that.  It was novel to get to see your letter in the paper along with some advice from a so-called "expert."  But with the advent of the Internet, information and advice from people MUCH MORE experienced and qualified to help with problems is right at your fingertips.

So why do we still need mailbags?

I personally never read mailbags, because frankly, I’ve read enough of them to know that there’s little, if any good advice to be gained from doing so.  At least people like David D., Mystery, and Swinggcat send out essays every now and then.  THOSE I get a lot from.  But these other people… well, it’s just busy work.  It’s just loads upon loads of crap they churn out to try and get their name on Askmen.com or something.

The thing is, I look at mailbags as laziness at it’s finest.  Rather than sit around and develop new theories and ideas, or maybe even talk about real life field experience, the "Love Doctors" would rather rev-up their armchairs and answer questions from the clueless masses about all sorts of useless crap that hardly helps the people who’s letters they are answering, let alone anyone else.

Is this just me?  Am I the only one who doesn’t like mailbags?  Maybe I’m missing something, I don’t know.  But I’d personally rather read the longest, most spastic and hap-hazard Tyler post than your average mailbag.

What’s up with Mailbags?

You know, I check out a lot of sites that have to do with dating and seduction for my daily reading.  I enjoy the message boards the most because they all have such a varied and different perspective on things, and those are usually the places where the best material is found.

Then you got the other sites with untold Dating Guru’s writing article after article.  But the thing is, they aren’t really articles.  They’re mailbags.

Most people in the community know what mailbags are, thanks to David DeAngelo and his infamous newsletters.  Mailbags are when people write in to the Guru of their choice, asking for help, and then said Guru responds.  The thing is, as I look around the internet, all I seem to find is mailbag after mailbag of advice when it comes to dating.

So my queston is:  What good is this to me?

Mailbags are usually so personalized to the person who’s writing in, that any advice the Guru could share ceases to be of any real use to anyone other than the person who originally wrote them.  I guess this is the "Dear Abbey" school of thought where she actually made a CAREER of publishing people’s letters in the newspaper and giving them watered down "feel good" advice.

The thing is, back when Dear Abbey started, there was no one around who did that.  It was novel to get to see your letter in the paper along with some advice from a so-called "expert."  But with the advent of the Internet, information and advice from people MUCH MORE experienced and qualified to help with problems is right at your fingertips.

So why do we still need mailbags?

I personally never read mailbags, because frankly, I’ve read enough of them to know that there’s little, if any good advice to be gained from doing so.  At least people like David D., Mystery, and Swinggcat send out essays every now and then.  THOSE I get a lot from.  But these other people… well, it’s just busy work.  It’s just loads upon loads of crap they churn out to try and get their name on Askmen.com or something.

The thing is, I look at mailbags as laziness at it’s finest.  Rather than sit around and develop new theories and ideas, or maybe even talk about real life field experience, the "Love Doctors" would rather rev-up their armchairs and answer questions from the clueless masses about all sorts of useless crap that hardly helps the people who’s letters they are answering, let alone anyone else.

Is this just me?  Am I the only one who doesn’t like mailbags?  Maybe I’m missing something, I don’t know.  But I’d personally rather read the longest, most spastic and hap-hazard Tyler post than your average mailbag.

New Link Directory

Okay, the frontpage was getting a bit cluttered with all those links I had up, so I decided to reorganize them into a Link Directory where I am able to not only better categorize the links that are on this site, but also give descriptions about the sites I link to so you guys have better information on what sites to check out.

I try to make this blog a resource for the community, and part of being a good resource is having a solid and organized collection of OTHER resources out there. After all, this stuff is much bigger than just fast-seduction.com, and there are a lot of other good sites on the internet that are worth checking out.

Live everything with this site, the link directory will be constantly growing and changing as time goes on. If you guys know of any good sites that are related to dating and seduction that AREN’T listed there, please email me and let me know about them. If you have your own site and want to trade links with me, let me know about that as well.

For now, you can check out the new Link Directory here or by clicking the link in the right hand column of the site.

Easter Dinner with AFCs

You know, learning a lot of these PUA tactics really takes a toll on you.  It’s very much like the movie Fight Club, where the real world gets the volume turned down and you begin to see and respond to the world in a different light.  Lately, I’ve been spending a lot of time with my friends in the community, guys who study this Pick-UP stuff almost as voraciously as I do (and some who study it WAY more than I do).  And when you’re in that reality, where a typical night is spent breaking down EVERY SINGLE interaction you had with people, you begin to believe that you’ve figured out certain things about how society REALLY is, and how completely clueless other people are.

This last Sunday, I had dinner with really two good friends of mine.  One is my best friend from high school.  The other is a good friend from college.  They both know each other through me, and became good friends, so it was the three of us just haning out.  Of course, neither of these guys know anything about the Pick-Up Arts, or that I do this stuff in my spare time either.  But they both have known me long enough that they know the OLD me.  The bitter, fat cuss who resented women, and would be way too shy to talk to girls.  The typical AFC.

This Sunday, when we went to enjoy Easter Dinner together, was a very surreal experience for me.  It was like my reality had changed and completely left theirs behind.  I approached something like 7 women while I was with these guys, all of them hot, and they would just stand there and watch as I interacted with these girls on a level they probably have never witnessed before in their lives (and I’m not even that GOOD with this stuff yet!  lol).

They kept talking about how much I’ve changed.  They were complimenting me on my look, my dress, my outging nature… they told me I was so "Hollywood," which I guess is as good a compliment as any, seeing as how I love this town.  But the wierd thing is that I never noticed how BETA my friends were before.  I was doing a lot fo frame control in the group, kind-of laying out what the day was going to be, controlling the conversation, making them qualify to me a bit.  It’s amazing to see how most guys respond to these tactics, because with a strong enough frame, you can get guys to do the same thing you can get chicks to do when it comes to taking a strong lead.

I’ve noticed this at work as well.  My coworkers will often just do what they’re told, even by a subordinate like me, if someone says something with enough authority.

I guess it’s just interesting to me how these skills can really change you in ways you never expected.  I still like my friends and have a good time when I go out with them, but it’s a VERY different feeling than it used to be.

The “Qualifying Compliment” Trap

Nightblue has a very interesting post up on mASF about someting he calls the “Qualifying Compliment” trap.

Nightblue writes:
This can be a bit advanced but I think everyone should know about this.
Sometimes girls qualify you with a compliment in a way of screening. I noticed its a test/trap really.

Like when she says things like
‘You know my first impression of you wasnt that bright but
now I started to think that you do have some things that I really like about you’ or something similar.

If you answer with a thank you or something like that BOOM you failed. She has the power, you are in the frame where YOU need to work for her.
This can be ok with you, but IMO one of the worst things you can do is allowing the girl to make the rules.

When she qualifies you like that you should immediately break the frame like you know whats going on.
Some answers I give are,
HB[again taking the power by qualifying compliment]: Blah Blah but you do started to make me like you etc.
Me: NO! come on how can *I* be worthy of you? Your WAY too cool for me.
Or
HB:You know youre not like I thought you were, I even think you can be a very cool person now.
Answer: Oh Great! Then I assume Im getting some BOOTAY.
Im gonna call my mom and give her the good news!

You can say ANYTHING as long as it breaks the her qualifying you frame.
Girls add a compliment to it to make you graceful to her qualifying you.
They are really good at this power taking.

This is funny, because I know a guy who’s rather strong with the force who does something very similar. =)

You can read the whole thread on this here.

The “Qualifying Compliment” Trap

Nightblue has a very interesting post up on mASF about someting he calls the “Qualifying Compliment” trap.

Nightblue writes:
This can be a bit advanced but I think everyone should know about this.
Sometimes girls qualify you with a compliment in a way of screening. I noticed its a test/trap really.

Like when she says things like
‘You know my first impression of you wasnt that bright but
now I started to think that you do have some things that I really like about you’ or something similar.

If you answer with a thank you or something like that BOOM you failed. She has the power, you are in the frame where YOU need to work for her.
This can be ok with you, but IMO one of the worst things you can do is allowing the girl to make the rules.

When she qualifies you like that you should immediately break the frame like you know whats going on.
Some answers I give are,
HB[again taking the power by qualifying compliment]: Blah Blah but you do started to make me like you etc.
Me: NO! come on how can *I* be worthy of you? Your WAY too cool for me.
Or
HB:You know youre not like I thought you were, I even think you can be a very cool person now.
Answer: Oh Great! Then I assume Im getting some BOOTAY.
Im gonna call my mom and give her the good news!

You can say ANYTHING as long as it breaks the her qualifying you frame.
Girls add a compliment to it to make you graceful to her qualifying you.
They are really good at this power taking.

This is funny, because I know a guy who’s rather strong with the force who does something very similar. =)

You can read the whole thread on this here.

The Most Important Attribute of a Pick-Up Artist

Tyler Durden has an interesting post up on mASF about what he thinks is the most important attribute to have as a pick-up artist. Of course, there are many important attributes to have, most of which have to be learned by most guys (hey, this is a subset of self-improvement after all), but I think Tyler makes some really good points in his post that should be addressed.

Read more

Sexual Dominance

Demilano has a pretty interesting post on the General Forum of mASF that takes a rather “textbook” look at the role sexual dominance plays in a relationship.

Read more

AoA: Learn to Approach Alone

Jumpstart Your Success – Learn to Approach Alone
By Thundercat

Get Your Copy Here

Has this ever happened to you?

You go out with some buddies for a night on the town, hoping to meet a girl to have some fun with.  You head to a bar, get a booth, and order drinks.  The place is kickin’, and you and your buddies are having a good time looking at all the pretty girls… except nobody is meeting any them.  You want to talk to them, but you feel more comfortable sitting around with your friends talking about how you would like to go home with a girl that night.  Instead, you all end up leaving the same way you came in – together.

This is a pretty common occurrence among the lovelorn bachelor.  This is a symptom of what I like to call the “comfort zone.”

Basically, everyone has a comfort zone.  This is a state of mind where people are surrounded by that which is FAMILIAR.  Familiarity breeds complacency, which can keep you from taking the action necessary to achieve your goals, because that action introduces uncertainty into your life – something the comfort zone likes to keep at bay.

So when you want to meet a woman, you need to know how to break out of this comfort zone.  How do you do this?  The answer is self-evident:  You must learn to meet women BY YOURSELF!

Friends can be a great asset, but most of the time, going out with friends actually HINDERS your ability to meet women.  Not just because of the comfort zone factor, but because other guys who don’t know what they’re doing with girls can actually ruin the interactions you have with them – be it by jealousy or ineptitude.  So the best way to counter this is to leave your friends behind.

But the prospect of going out by oneself can strike fear into the hearts of men.  After all, doesn’t going out by yourself signal to everyone that you’re a loser with no friends?  Doesn’t it make you look creepy?

The answer to both these questions is NO.

The simple act of going out on your own can shake your comfort zone, because you have no anchors to keep you there.  Often your friends will act as an anchor to your comfort zone that keep you from approaching women.  And it is easier to break out of this comfort zone without those anchors present.  Plus, you don’t have to worry about failing with women and being judged by your friends if they’re not around.

But the most powerful thing about going out by yourself is that it puts your focus on what you are doing.  This means that every interaction you have is without distraction, so it is more easily examined and the problems you had are more easily identified.  This allows you to spot your sticking points more quickly and correct them.

Not only that, but being out by yourself gives you the freedom of flexibility when it comes to where you’re going and who you talk to.  If you’re bored with a place, you can leave and go to another one.  If you want to talk to a girl who your friends might poke fun at you for, you can.  Not only this, but you’re free to mess up the interactions you have, because chances are, no one there will ever see you again, so you don’t have to worry about what others think of you.

But like all things, knowing what to say will help you to go out by yourself and succeed at increasing your ability to approach.  There are many examples of Openers to say in my book The Art of Attraction, but some guys will need to know how to handle the inevitable question “Where are your friends?”

Something I’ve used to great effect is the answer “Oh, they’re around.”  This simple dismissive statement not only answers the question, but as far as anyone knows, you’re telling the truth.

But if you want to take it a step further, I’ve even used this as an Opener at times I’ve been out by myself.

–The “My Friends Ditched Me” Opener

This works good whenever you’re out somewhere by yourself.  Basically, you approach your target or a group, and say:

“Hey guys, you won’t believe this.  All week, me and my friends have been planning on going out and having a good time, because we’ve all been busy and we wanted to blow off some steam.  So we made plans to go out tonight, right?  Well, one by one they call me up and say stuff like “I’m too tired,” or “My girlfriend wants to watch a movie,” and stuff like that.  Some friends huh?  Bunch of lame-o’s.  But I’m thinking there might be something more to this, because last week two of my friends had a knock-down drag out fight over some girl they both like, so the situation is all weird.  Do you guys have any friends who got split up by someone they both liked?”

Using this, you set the stage that you’re out by yourself because, well, unlike your friends, YOU’RE not lame!  Not only that, you throw in a nice Drama Opener in there to engage the group.

If you don’t know what a Drama Opener is, check it out in my book The Art of Attraction, and learn how to meet any woman, any time, anywhere you may be.  Whether you’re alone or not!

To your success!

Thundercat

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