The Pick Up Artist Season 2 Ep 1 Recap: Bling Bling

SPOILER ALERT:  This recap contains spoilers for the first episode of the Pick Up Artist 2

Well, another year has gone by, which means its time for VH1 to grace the airwaves with yet another season of The Pick Up Artist – starring the one and only Mystery.

Yes, just when you thought it was safe to watch VH1 again, the network that has brought us such cultural icons as Flava Flav and evil Dustin Diamond, is now treating us to another 8 episodes of geeks getting different colored pendants for not embarrassing themselves in front of women.  Huzzah!

The show starts off by reminding everyone about how Mystery is the world’s greatest pick up artist (and snazziest dresser!), telling us about how big of a geek he used to be by showing pictures of him holding a plastic spoon.  Yes, it seems VH1′s definition of “loser who can’t get laid” is synonymous with guys who allow themselves to be photographed holding plastic cutlery.

Then we’re reminded of our favorite trainwrecks from last season – Kosmo, Brady, Joe D, Gay Joe, Spoon, Pradeep, Old Dude, and geeky guy who’s name I can’t remember – and how Mystery “helped” them.  Now that Kosmo is a real Pick Up Artist, he’s been forced to shave his head, wear affliction t-shirts, and share with Mystery’s students the lessons he learned from living with Gay Joe the first season…

“Just open your mouth, don’t be afraid to experiment,” says Kosmo.  (Yeah, people paid $2,000 to hear that bit of advice.)

Now that the recap’s over, its time to prepare ourselves for a new season of the Pick Up Artist, where the challenge is even BIGGER (i.e. the contestants are geekier, gayer, uglier, and asianer).  Also, I’m sure the challenge had a little to do with the fact that women are now on guard for hidden camera pick ups.  But whatever.

Matador is back as Mystery’s wingman, sporting a new beard and a greasier wig.  J-Dog is out, and now Tara is in, so she gets to bring her milkshake to the yard every episode now.  Whether or not she’ll be forced to tongue-down the contestants is still up in the air, but we shall see.

What makes Tara qualified to teach guys how to meet women?  “I’m a woman!” she exclaims.  Yay.  So’s my mom, but that doesn’t mean her advice for getting chicks is any good.  Where’s that other girl from the first season?  She was way hotter than Tara and didn’t talk as much.  Give her the wingwoman spot, fer cryin’ out loud.

Anyway, cue the show intro, and its time to start another season of awkwardness on the Pick Up Artist. Read more