The Game Remains the Same

March 6, 2006 by  
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In his latest newsletter, Style drops some great nuggets of pick-up wisdom in response to the latest Village Voice article about women wising up to PUA tactics after the release of "The Game."  You can read the full newsletter from Style in this post, but if you want to recieve his updates reguarly, join his mailing list by clicking here.

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Assuming Value Vs. Building It

February 27, 2006 by  
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Cameron Teone has a pretty interesting article about the difference between trying to build your value with a girl, and just assuming that value is already there.

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Lessons From The 40 Year Old Virgin

September 2, 2005 by  
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Recently I went to go see the movie "The 40 Year Old Virgin," and it is without a doubt one of the funniest movies I’ve ever seen.  The film focuses on a lovable guy who has pretty much given up on women, choosing to play with his toys and video games instead.  When his friends find out that he’s still a virgin at the age of 40, they start giving him advice on how to get a woman.

Even though the movie is a comedy, and some of the characters and situations are rather outlandish, there’s still some great messages at the heart of the movie.

The first of which is — IT’S NEVER TOO LATE.

No matter what has happened to you in the past, or what is going on in your life currently, it’s not too late for you to start meeting and dating women.

Seriously, some guys take themselves out of the game, or just simply give up when the going gets a bit tough.  Either because of the pain of rejection or fear of women, they choose to take the less painful road and keep to themselves, letting one opportunity after another with women pass them by.

But living a life devoid of love or intimacy is NOT a good thing!  People aren’t meant to be hermits, we’re social creatures and we have to interact with others.  Unless you’re a monk devoted to a life of celibacy, you’re going to want to have a good woman in your life.

That brings us to our second lesson — LEAVE YOUR COMFORT ZONE!

In "The 40 Year Old Virgin," opportunities with women did not start happening with the main character until he stopped doing what was comfortable for him and left his "comfort zone."

Usually, he’d spend his nights watching TV, either alone or with his elderly neighbors.  But when he started going out to places like bars, speed dating events, bookstores, and other places he didn’t normally go to, he began to learn some things about women.

The whole idea of moving out of your comfort zone isn’t to make you feel UNCOMFORTABLE, it’s about helping you to LEARN.  And it’s because you’re learning that you feel uncomfortable, due to the fact that you’re starting to do something new that’s never been part of your reality before.

Too often, we get used to doing certain things, living a certain way, and acting a certain way. 

It becomes routine. 

We become used to it, even if it’s not healthy!  And when we try to venture outside of it, we scurry back to our comfort zone because we don’t like doing things that are new and scary!

But how else are you going to learn what works for you if you don’t venture into the unknown?  How else are you going to learn about women if you don’t make the effort to interact with them?

You must be willing to stop doing what’s comfortable and take some risk.  You may fail a few times, but when you do succeed, it’ll be that much more satisfying.  And before you know it, what used to be scary and uncomfortable is now easy!

The third lesson from "The 40 Year Old Virgin" is — MEET WOMEN.

Some of the funniest scenes in this new movie is when the main character goes out with his friends to actually meet women.  But the message here is something I’ve been preaching on my website and in my newsletter for YEARS.

**If you don’t know how to meet women, you’ll never get one of them!**

Too often, guys will let one opportunity with women after another pass them by because they don’t know what to say or do to meet them.

Understand that women are THERE for you to meet!  They WANT you to meet them — in fact, they EXPECT you to meet them!  And if you don’t, then they think you’re just not interested in them.

Seriously, all the guys out there who know how to get lots of dates are the guys who walk up to women and start talking to them, display their personality and confidence, and then get the date.

If you don’t act like one of those guys, if you don’t approach women, then it’s the woman’s belief that you just aren’t that into them.

It can be a hard thing meeting women, and it can lead to embarrassing moments (as you’ll see in "The 40 Year Old Virgin" movie), but ultimately THIS is what will get you success!

But you can minimize the fear, embarrassment, and rejection you suffer if you know what to do and prepare yourself BEFORE you go out to meet tons of women.

In my book The Art Of Approaching Women, I lay it all out for you in clear, easy-to-understand language that will be your own personal guidebook in how to do everything you need to to find a great woman you can have wonderful experiences with.

I can teach you how to read a woman’s body language to see if she she’s interested in you.

I can teach you how to flirt with a woman to get her interested in you.

I can also teach you how to train yourself to meet any woman you want.

It’s all possible.  If you were to download my ebook and start reading it right now, by the time the weekend rolls around you’d be ready to go out and have some fun with lots of different girls.

You can get your copy of The Art Of Approaching Women now by clicking below:

Download Your Copy Now!

Before you know it, you’ll be one of the guys giving advice on how to meet women!

Wishing you success,


A Complete Guide to Vibing

August 22, 2005 by  
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A guy named Spirit Fingers posted a pretty good article on mASF about "Vibing" with a girl.  Definitely worth a read…

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A Lazy Man’s Guide To Getting A Girlfriend

August 12, 2005 by  
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Here’s an article from Fidentia’s Croatian Superstar Shark (aka Ranko Magami) which talks about how to get a girlfriend even if you’re lazy and have no willpower.  Keep in mind English isn’t Shark’s first language, so some parts might be an awkward read.

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A Terrible Mistake That’s Keeping You From Success With Women

August 5, 2005 by  
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Hi everyone,

I hope you’re all doing well.  Lately, I’ve been having a great time. 
It can be easy to get so worked up over normal, every day things –
like work, school, relationships, etc. — that it’s nice to every once
and a while take a step back and unwind.

That’s what I’ve been doing lately.

And it’s been a great reminder to me that we shouldn’t be taking life so seriously all the time.

In fact, being able to kick back like this is a key factor in being successful in life — AND with women!

Allow me to explain.

Fun is an important factor in being successful.  You have to actually
ENJOY the journey you’re taking if you want to achieve your goals in

For instance, if you want to be a pro golfer, but you HATE golfing, do
you think you’re going to stick to your goal?  Or will you look for
something more satisfying for you?

I’m willing to bet the answer to that is YES.

The same is true of meeting women.

If you want to have a beautiful girlfriend/wife/whatever, but you HATE
the process of meeting women, are you really going to end up getting
what you want?

I’m willing to bet the answer to that is NO.

I get emails on a daily basis from guys lamenting about how much they
want to have a wonderful woman in their lives, but they always add to
that "But I hate going to bars, clubs, bookstores, gas stations, public
places, anywhere with actual living humans, etc.  What can I do?"

I think some guys would just prefer to sit at home and look at naughty
pictures of women on the internet than actually go out and meet real

This is because they don’t know how to make meeting women FUN.

And let’s face it, if this is a chore, then you’re not going to want to do it, right?

So let’s role up our sleeves and get our hands dirty, because I want to
tell you how to make meeting women something you actually can ENJOY
doing as opposed to making it something you HATE doing and are
reluctant to pursue.

The first thing I want you to think about is what kind of a woman it is
that you want.  What does she like?  What is she interested in?  What
does she look like?  The more you know about the woman you want, the
easier it will be to filter out all the girls you DON’T want. 

Remember, the narrower your search, the more happy you’ll be with the results you get.

The second thing I want you to think about is where you can meet the
kind of woman you want.  Make a list of all the places you can think of
where a woman who’s interested in the kind of things you want her to be
would go.

For instance, let’s say you want a girl who loves baseball.  Where
would girls who love baseball go?  Just off the top of my head, here’s
a list:

  1. Major League Baseball Games
  2. Minor League Baseball Games
  3. Little League Baseball Games
  4. Sports Bars On Game Day
  5. Sporting Goods Stores
  6. Baseball Conventions

The list could go on, but you get the idea.  So if you love baseball,
and you want a woman who loves baseball — GO TO A BASEBALL GAME!  And
while you’re there, meet the women who are there too!  Use the other
qualities you’re looking for in a girl to pick and choose which women
you want to meet.

At the very least, you’re doing something you enjoy anyway, so you’re going to have fun no matter what!

But if you’re still wondering what to do once you actually have to MEET
a woman, you need to check out my book The Art Of Approaching.

In it, I’ll take you step-by-step through the process of how to meet
the women you want, quickly and easily, with no fear of rejection or
failure.  If you haven’t already gotten my book and read it
cover-to-cover, you owe it to yourself to do so now:

Click Here To Get Your Copy Of The Art Of Approaching Today.

And remember, no matter what, figure out how to have fun and enjoy the
process of meeting women!  You’ll get much better results if you do.

Wishing you success,


Beware Evil Women

July 15, 2005 by  
Filed under Articles

This may be the most important blog post you’ve ever read.


This one email will be able to save you tons and TONS of heartache AND money IF you heed the advice you’ll find within it.


Because the advice I’m about to give you is designed to protect you from THE most dangerous and harmful thing on the face of the planet…


Just like all things, there is good, and there is evil.  The good can be a tremendously positive force in your life, filling it with joy and happiness.  The evil, however, can cause tremendous pain, suffering, and even DEATH.

It’s no different with women.

There are good women in this world, and there are women that can only be described as EVIL.  The purpose of this email is to help you spot the bad ones so you can save yourself from untold suffering and focus all your attention on finding a good woman that you can have amazing experiences with.

The first thing I want to say about EVIL women is that it is important to spot them early!  And once spotted, it is important not to have any type of contact with them if you want to enjoy complete happiness in your love life.

Of course, sometimes it can be very tempting to have a one-night stand or hot-and-heavy fling with a woman who is bad for you.  And sometimes, everything can turn out okay.  But that doesn’t mean you’re not still playing russian roulette with your love life!

The best defense against EVIL women is knowing the type of woman you want.

EXACTLY the type of woman you want.

When you know what you want, your search for the woman that’s right for you becomes much narrower and focused, so instantly you filter out a great many of the women you’ll be wasting your time with.

For instance, let’s say you’re looking for a serious girlfriend…

What are the things you’d want in a woman who’s going to be a good girlfriend?  Let’s say you’d like a woman who really enjoys outdoor activities (because that’s what you enjoy).  So you’re girlfriend has to be an avid outdoorsman.  BOOM!  You’ve just narrowed your search and eliminated a good 90% of the EVIL women that are out there.

But there’s still that 10% you have to look out for.

The next thing you should be aware of is if she is in a profession that lends itself to "unbalanced" personalities.

For instance, if the girl is, or has ever been, a stripper, a prostitute, or a porn actress, her chances of causing you incredible amounts of trouble are EXTREMELY great.  And we’re not just talking about the mental trouble either, they could very well give you a disease from which you may never recover!

Another thing to look out for is self-destructive habits.  If you notice the woman you’re with is a heavy drug user or alcoholic… RUN.  Do not get seriously involved with women who drink too much, do too many drugs, or both.  These are women who will care more about the substances they abuse than YOU.  And they are also women who care nothing about themselves, and getting emotionally attached to someone who cares nothing for their well-being is a painful endeavor.

Some people criticize me for saying this, but I do believe it… BEWARE SINGLE MOTHERS!  If you’re getting involved with a woman who already has a kid, you’re opening yourself up for a great deal of trouble down the line.


Because if she got pregnant once by some other guy,chances are she’ll get pregnant by YOU!  Even if you use birth control!  And if she DOES get pregnant, chances are she’ll go ahead and have the baby.  This means that whether you break up with her or not, you’ll be stuck paying child support for the next 18 years!  Now, if the idea of shelling out your hard-earned cash for a kid you never wanted to a woman you don’t like for the next 18 years of your life doesn’t appeal to you — STAY AWAY FROM SINGLE MOMS!

In addition to that warning above, single moms will always choose their kids over you, which means you will always get the short end of the stick when it comes to her time and attention.  So if you want lots of sex and adventures in your relationship, you can throw that away when dealing with a single mom!  And not only that, but depending on what state you live in, if her kid gets attached to you, you might be legally liable for child support EVEN IF IT ISN’T YOUR KID!  Check your local laws to be certain.

Watch out for women who are too clingy and get jealous easily!  These are women who are incredibly insecure, and most likely they will cheat on you!  In fact, the more jealous they are, the more likely it is they are sleeping around.  This is because people tend to project their own behaviors on others, and if they think you’re cheating on them, chances are it’s because they, themselves, are cheating (or thinking about it!).

Watch how the woman treats her own family.  Typically, women who have good relationships with their mother AND father are well balanced women who will treat you well.  If they hate EITHER of their parents, chances are they’re going to end up treating you the same way.

As a side note to this, loot at how her parents treat each other if you get the chance.  If their relationship is a good one, chances are the relationship you have with her will be good too!  The same is true if the parents have a BAD relationship.

Also, look to see if the woman you like also likes children.  It doesn’t matter if you want to have kids or not.  If a woman does not like kids, that’s a statement about her own capacity to love and nurture!  If she hates kids, then it’s a very good possibility she is incapable of deep commitment and personal connection, and will end up using and abusing the man she is with!

And finally, if you find out that you’re with an EVIL woman, do not hesitate to DUMP her immediately!

And when I say dump, I mean DUMP.  Delete her number from your phone, do not see her or talk to her again.  Cut her out of your life completely!  And if she comes crawling back to you promising to change, DO NOT TAKE HER BACK.  She won’t change, and she’ll make your life even WORSE than it was when you were with her before.  Be strong and leave her behind completely, and work towards finding a good, positive woman to have in your life.

You can’t protect yourself 100% from EVIL women, but if you follow the guidelines I’ve given you above, then you have an extremely good chance of filtering them all out.

So how do you find yourself a good woman?

Well, odd enough as it sounds, the quality of the woman you can get directly depends on how high you value yourself!

This means building a strong self-image that you can present to the world.

In my book, The Art Of Approaching, I go into great detail on how to do this.  Everything from building extreme confidence with women, to how to get them to go out with you is in there!  If you haven’t checked out my book yet, you can do so by clicking on the link below:

Click Here To Download The Art Of Approaching!

Learn everything I have to teach, and you will be able to find a GOOD woman you’ll want to be with for a long, long time.

Wishing you success,


James Bond And Picking Up Women

June 28, 2005 by  
Filed under Articles

A long while back, I referenced a post by a guy named JediMike called "Defeat Mechanisms" which talks about the different ways guys are blown out when picking up women and ways to get around it.  Well, I just got an email from Mike about a follow-up he’s written to this post.

Dude , you reposted a post of mine from my now defunct LJ on your digest a whiles back entitled "Defeat Mechanisms in PU."

I hate posts like that because they provide problems and not solutions, and recognisisng those defeat mechanisms fucked up my game for months.

With that in mind, here is the answer to "Defeat Mechanisms", and IMHO the solution to that problem.

BTW   I LOVED "Art of Approaching". Had I read it earlier it would have saved me TWO YEARS of experimentation. Literally.

Mike Walden

So here’s Mike’s new take on defeat mechanisms, title "James Bond and PU."

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Dr. Neder on Beliefs

June 28, 2005 by  
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Got an email from blog poster Handsom Man (who seems to have his own blog now, by the way =) who referenced an article written by Dr. Neder, of DYD fame, on Beliefs.  So if you’re looking for some good info on Inner Game stuff, check it out by reading on below…


Just got this email from the good doctor himself…

Dr. Neder writes:
Hello ThunderCat!

I appreciate you
posting my article on your site. However I’d like to point out just a few

1) I’m not of "DYD"
fame. I’ve written two books, recorded CD’s, written hundreds of articles, done
hundreds of TV and radio appearances, all under "Being a Man in a Woman’s
World". Perhaps you could correct that?

2) I post articles
free of use (a new one each week by the way if you’re interested), and ask only
that you always include the following byline with them (at the end of the

Have a love, dating,
relationship, sex or man/woman question? I answer all email. You can write to me
at for answers.
For more information about my books, "Being a Man in a Woman’s World" (volumes I
& II), and other products visit: Check out the discussion
group at: Copyright (c) 2005,
Dr. Dennis W. Neder
All rights reserved.


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How Do People Meet Other People?

June 17, 2005 by  
Filed under Articles

Back in the day when I was a lonely, clueless loser who’d spend his weeknights sitting hunched over the computer viewing internet porn instead of interacting with society, I used to wonder:  “How do people meet each other?”

To me, this question was on the same level as “Which came first, the chicken or the egg?” and “If a tree falls in the forest with no one around, does it make a sound?”  It was basically a question one could never truly know the answer to.  Though, every time I would go out in public and see guy after guy with their girlfriends and wives, I would be reminded of this question.

How do people meet each other?

Or more specifically, how do guys meet women?  What does everyone else know that I don’t?  Why am I alone and they are with somebody?  What is the secret?

Once I decided to take control of my life and make a concerted effort to meet women, I discovered the secret.  And it’s a secret that’s so simple, so obvious, that I wonder why I didn’t know it before.  Some of you out there reading this probably already know the secret, some might be like I was and not be aware of it.  But when you hear it, this secret will make perfect sense.  So are you ready to hear it?  The secret to meeting other people is…

You talk to them.

Was I right?  Is it obvious?  I know it may seem rather simplistic, but this is probably the single most important notion there is when it comes to getting a girlfriend/wife/booty call, or what have you.  If you do not talk to someone, you will never MEET them.

And you can’t have a relationship with someone you never meet.

The simple act of talking to a woman can lead to so many different things:

–You get a glimpse into her personality
–You find out what you two have in common
–You get to see if there’s any chemistry between the two of you
–You give yourself an opening to get her contact information
–You establish a level of trust and comfort that will allow you to ask her out later on

All this from the simple act of moving your mouth and having words come out!

It is because of this concept that I wrote my book, The Art Of Approaching, because there is so much to know about meeting women.  You can talk to them, but what if they don’t respond favorably?  What if you run out of stuff to talk about?  What if you can’t even think of something to talk about at all?

This is where the concept of the “opener” comes in.

I’ve talk about openers in other newsletters before, and I go into extreme detail about them in my book.  But having a good opener is too important a concept just to let it go mentioned once or twice.

Without a good opener to use when meeting a woman, you’re really rolling the dice and taking a chance that what you say to her initially will:

1.    Get her to talk to you
2.    Engage her in conversation

Maybe what you say will get her to respond with a “Yes or no” answer.  If that’s the case, where do you go from there?

Maybe what you have to say will get her to explain something to you, but will it really engage her in conversation?  Will she continue to talk to you so you can establish that “trust and comfort” foundation you’ll need to get her information?

These are the factors you have to take into account when you go about meeting a woman.  Here are some examples of openers you want to avoid:

“Do you know where X is?”
“Do I know you from somewhere?”
“That’s a nice X you’re wearing.”
“Do you come here often?”

The list goes on.  But if you look at all those statements above, they don’t really lead anywhere.  They’re not engaging, they’re not interesting, and they will not help you get to know the woman you’re talking to any better.

Here’s a good opener for you to “test out” this weekend or whenever you’re going out next.  When you see a girl you like and want to meet, walk up to her and ask:

“Hey, I got a quick question.  Do you read your horoscope?”

See how this opener differs from the ones above?  You’re not asking her an ordinary question she hears a million times a day, and there’s an intriguing element to it.  Most women are interested in horoscopes and other new-agey stuff, so even if they DON’T read their horoscope, they may be interested in why you’re asking the question.

If she says YES, it is easy to ask her what her sign is and what her horoscope is telling her.  This is great because she will be giving you information about herself that you can use to your advantage in the conversation.

If she says NO, ask her if she’s ever checked her horoscope before and then ask her what her sign is.

No matter what she says, always follow up with “Hmmm.  That’s interesting…”

When she asks “Why?” say “Well, I don’t want you to take this the wrong way, but you know what they say about Pisces (or Aries, or Scorpio, or whatever her sign is)?”

By now she’ll be really interested.  Follow up by saying “Pisces (Aries, etc.) women are the most sexual women out there.”

Watch her reaction, and then follow up with a story to get the conversation flowing.  Here’s one I use:

“I know this because my ex girlfriend was a Pisces (Aries, whatever), and she was the most sexual woman you’ll ever meet.  We used to have so much fun together, doing all sorts of wild things, she was totally open to doing anything.  I used to think it was just her, but every Pisces woman I’ve dated has always been really fun and sexual.  What’s the wildest thing you’ve ever done?”

See how that works?  You set it up so that you present her with a role you want her to adopt (being sexual and fun and open to anything), and show it in a positive light.  And even if she doesn’t agree with your assessment of her sign, you’re getting her to share with you what wild stuff she HAS done.

Before you know it, you’re in a conversation!

Typically, you’ll want to have three good openers to use one after another, all with follow-up stories to get the conversation flowing.

I cover this strategy and more in great detail in my book, The Art Of Approaching.  If you really want to get good at meeting women and unlocking the mystery of getting a girlfriend, you need to download your copy today!  You can do so by clicking here.

The sooner you check out my book, the sooner you can go out and meet any woman you want!

Wishing you success with women,


Science Proves Men And Women Have Different Brains

June 16, 2005 by  
Filed under Articles

Just found this little biddy off the newswires.  Turns out that a recent study has proven that men and women have different types of brains, which could explain the differences in how the two sexes feel, move, and act.  I’ve reposted most of the article here for your reading convenience.

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Choose Or Loose

June 15, 2005 by  
Filed under Articles

Senor Fingers, who has some of the best posts over on the Don Juan boards, has posted a great article up over on mASF that goes into great personal detail about his journey of self discovery and self improvement.  He’s got a lot of interesting insites, and I think everyone will get a lot out of reading his post.

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Alpha Isn’t Bad

June 7, 2005 by  
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Carlos Xuma chimes in today with a new article on how to be Alpha, and what Alphaness isn’t such a bad thing after all…

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Alpha Isn’t Bad

June 7, 2005 by  
Filed under Articles

Carlos Xuma chimes in today with a new article on how to be Alpha, and what Alphaness isn’t such a bad thing after all…

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The Freedom To Exist

June 2, 2005 by  
Filed under Articles

Cameron, from, sent me this article he wanted all you to read.

This article will seem like just good old plain common sense. Yet, nobody in the community is really addressing it and I know it is a problem for most men.

I know it is a problem because I teach workshop/seminars a couple of times a month and I see it first hand and it’s advice that can save you a lot of time and wasted energy.

If you are beginning your journey into the community, I’ll modestly say that this is one of the most important things you’ll read.

Some of you have goals and objectives while learning this “Game.” Others just take it one day at a time.

If you are going to set objectives in this game, make sure at the very top is the freedom to exist.

Well, what the heck does that mean?

It means if you are going to set up goals for yourself, your eventual goal is to believe so strongly in yourself that you can walk up to anyone and be comfortable.

Sounds simple, doesn’t it? And yet, it is so difficult.

This is not a goal that is achieved over night. It takes time and effort and you must work towards it. I have met and winged with some of the best of the best as far as this community is concerned, and I can tell you that even a lot of those guys haven’t achieved this. 

Why is this so?

Let’s backtrack a little bit. Sometime last year, my partner, Ranko AKA Shark, started to popularize the direct “I like you opener.” He was criticized and insulted to no end and

Even when it appeared that everything he was saying was accurate, his critics never acknowledged him.

The reason for this is two fold:

A. Some guys in the community are insecure to the point that they can never give credit to anyone for they think it will diminish their guru status.

B. Some guys still do not get it!

These same critics who still do not get it, refer to “Direct game” as a tool. These critics claim that “Direct is a good tool to carry.” In fact, they refer to everything as a “Tool.”

Here is what I want you to understand:


The direct style is about a state of self-belief not often found in community PUAs regardless of how much success they have achieved.

Lacking these internal belief structure, the PUA will often resort to looking at things through a different lens. He looks at everything through the frame of techniques and tactics, henceforth completely missing the point regarding the self-belief.

I recently heard an incredibly well known PUA on this board label direct as a “Frame Control” Trick. This indicates that to this person, everything is still a technique, not an organic and natural process.

To truly not give a shit and have such a strong self-image to approach anyone is not a trick. It is not a tactic.

It comes from the power of belief and it comes from a deeper place.

It takes time to get there. It helps if you realize what it is you should be focusing on.

You go in with the mentality that “I do NOT need to resort to trickery and tactics” in order to get a chick.

I am not saying that “Tools” are bad in general. There are some tools that are useful at some point.

However, to be able to just be present and a relaxed cool individual is to be able to free yourself of constantly reaching inside your bag of tools.

Even the tools are not tools. I’ll explain:

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