Conversations in Pornoland

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I read a pretty funny post by Carly on her blog Pornblography (BTW, she’s auctioning off a lot of porn memorabelia for all you freaks out there).  Anyway, she transcribed a conversation she had with a guy about banging a porno star that I thought was pretty funny, if not a little revealing.

Carly writes:
CONVERSATIONS IN PORNOLAND

Him: So you remember that porn girl I was telling you about that was staying with me last year?

Me: No, but go on.

Him: She’s coming to LA and says we should hang out.

Me: Oh yeah.

Him: She’s annoying. She’s a fundamentalist vegan.

Me: Uh huh.

Him: She’s obsessed with nutrition the way I’m obsessed with pornography. She only eats wheatgrass and soy, and she needs to do an enema every two days as a result.

Me: If she’s in porno she needs to do enemas anyway.

Him: She doesn’t do anal.

Me: Then she’s not a porn star.

Him: That’s what I tell her. I tell her, "Come back when you’re ready to do real porno." She doesn’t swallow because of the veganism either. I saw on a website saying something like, “This girl is a vegan, but she still enjoys meaty cock.”

Me: Call PETA!

Him: She sucks dick horribly. Terrible technique.

Me: Does that have anything to do with her veganism?

Him: I dunno. One time I came on her and she didn’t know that thing about when jizz and water mix. She was yelling, “Oh my God, it won’t come off!”

Me: Yeah, you gotta wipe that off first.

Him: Yes you do.

Me: So are you going to fuck her?

Him: Fuck no. I’m done. I wouldn’t even let her use her hand on me. She had this thing about “I need to be in love to have sex,” but she’d suck cock three times a day. If you’re sucking cock, why won’t you just get fucked? It’s not that big of a line. What a bozo.

Me: You’re just mad because she wouldn’t fuck you.

Him: No, it’s not that she wouldn’t fuck me, it’s how she wouldn’t fuck me. She’d pull all this drama. And her personality… it’s so annoying.

Me: Yeah, but I bet if she fucked you you’d overlook her personality.

Him: No.

Me: Suuuuuuuure.

LOL.  So what’s the moral of the story, kids?  Simple:  Water and Jizz don’t mix.  =)

Actually, I think the part about the girl willing to give head, but not have sex is pretty interesting.  I know Swinggcat has this concept of "sexual barriers" that is very similar, which is basically the concept behind why some girls might not feel comfortable kissing you, but would still be willing to fuck you.  Most guys might think "Oh, I gotta kiss her and then try to have sex with her," when in reality, you may need to do the reverse.

Something to think about, anyways.

You can also check this post out on Carly’s blog here.

The Science of Love

Chumly from the Copenhagen Lair sent me an interesting article on the science behind why people fall in love. It’s a long, technical article about the nitty-gritty of why people love and how they form relationships. While reading it, I was often reminded of conversations with Mystery, who loves to try and break down love, sex, and relationships by comparing them to acts in nature and animalistic instincts (female grouse, anyone?). Anyway, my puny brain is much too small to comprehend ALL the information presented in this article, but maybe yours is and you can post more about it in the comments section.

You can read the treatise here.

Doc Love, Bad Advice?

So I was checking out the Dating & Romance section of Askmen.com today and read the latest Doc Love article. Now, I don’t know much about the good Doctor… in fact, this is the first article I’ve read of his. He has a bit of good advice to share, but overall, I think he’s a little off with his mindset. For example, in the latest article, a guy named Kieth chimes in:

Kieth writes:
Hey Doc,

My problem is a little unusual. I’m looking to you for some good advice.

I was dating Samantha for about seven months before she had to go out of state to attend the best university business program in the country. (She was accepted before she even met me.) She said that if she’d met me beforehand, she would have accepted another offer she got that was closer to home, but as it is, she’s going to be gone for a little over a year.

We’ve been doing the long-distance dating thing for about four months now and she’s always talking about how she wants to marry me. As far as calling and e-mailing me, she is completely consistent. I fly to see her and she flies to see me once a month. Once she finishes the program, our goal is to go to graduate school in the same city. In other words, things are going fine between us, but I have two concerns about our relationship.

So what we have here is your typical long distance relationship, or LDR for you acronym junkies out there (you know who you are). But looking at this from a Seducer standpoint, I’m already thinking this guy should have 1 or 2 other chicks on call while his main is off doing her “business program” thing. Reading this little bit, I’m wondering if this girl would be pushing the marriage thing so heavily if they WEREN’T doing the LDR thing. My thinking is that she’s insecure about the distance between them and wants to find a way to lock him into the relationship just for her own mental well being. But I digress…

Anyway, he goes on to describe the first concern he has.

Kieth writes:
1- Samantha constantly asks me when we are going to get engaged. She says it in a joking way, but I know that she’s serious. My question is, how should I respond? I’m completely in love with this girl and want to marry her, but what is the correct response to keep her Interest Level up? (Sometimes I joke that we should go to Las Vegas tomorrow. Other times I’ll give her a more serious answer and say that we’re headed in that direction. But I’m not sure that it would be the best idea to tie the knot so soon.)

Doc Love chimes in with the following advice:

Doc Love writes:
Tell her you’ll marry her.

The right thing to do is let Samantha know that the two of you will get engaged after she comes back from school. This girl is straining at the leash like a hungry Doberman — she’s completely gone over you and can’t wait to get back to you. And since you’re deeply in love with her, it makes sense to take that step.

It’s okay to give in to your girl here, buddy. (But make sure that she understands that she still has to be a nice girl when she’s away at school, otherwise there will be no engagement. Remember old Pavlov’s dog?)

Don’t worry about keeping her Interest Level up, pal. You’ve already pumped it into the stratosphere like a helium balloon — she’s going crazy for you right now! You’re actually underrating her Interest Level, Keith.

If this girl were any more nuts over you, she’d have to be committed. But don’t you go getting bent out of shape or going gaga over the situation. Hey, you’re not tying the knot just yet — you’re only buying time by telling your babe you’ll get engaged when she gets back.

First off, bad advice. BAAAAAAAAADDDDDDD advice! I’m a rank-and-file amateur seducer, and even I can see the vomitous proportions of shite the good doctor is spewing here.

Tell here you’ll marry her? Good God, man, why!?! The guy may WANT to marry her, sure, but don’t TELL her that! Part of the reason she’s so into him is because he’s doing the right thing right now, which is joking about it, sometimes dropping serious hints at the possibility, but never committing. THAT’S the thing that’s got her on the hook. If he comes out and tells her they’re going to get married, or should he propose (especially if she’s still LDR), he’s giving up his power in the relationship right there, and her interest level is gonna drop like a stone.

If it were me in Keith’s situation, I might drop hints like “Oh, if only you were here with me… I might have proposed to you already. But you’re not, so I guess it doesn’t matter.” Doing shit like that would get her visiting him EVERY WEEKEND, as opposed to him exherting himself and flying out to see her. He’s got some great tension going right now, and Doc wants him to destroy that! Oy. So much for Dating “Advice.”

Anyway, the second issue Keith is worried about:

Kieth writes:
2- Samantha cries at least twice a week when we’re on the phone about how she wants me to pretty much drop everything right now and come and live with her. She tells me that I won’t have to pay for anything, and that I can just live in her apartment. This week she took it a step further and gave me a sort of indirect ultimatum by telling me that she didn’t know how she was going to deal with living apart from me for a whole year. “You need to move down here right now,” she said. I found myself a little panic-stricken at the idea.

The Doc responds:

Doc Love writes:
She has a plan.

The reason Samantha’s begging you to move in with her right now is not because she’s a rigid or structured or hardheaded female, which is where most ugly ultimatums usually come from.

She’s doing this because her Interest Level is hitting the high 90s. Let’s face it, man; she’s ready to pay for everything. (Gee, I’m impressed, Keith. She’s gotta be the first woman in the history of mankind to make that statement!) And so you reacted, at least on the inside — you didn’t practice Self-Control.

Hopefully, you didn’t say anything to her at that moment. It’s okay to feel panic-stricken, but it’s not good to express it verbally to the one you love. As General Love puts it, “Never show weakness at the critical moment!”

But don’t lose any sleep over all this “pressure.” Samantha’s bluffing. She’s not going anywhere without you, Keith, as long as you keep playing your cards right.

I’d say the reason she’s begging is because Kieth has done an excellent job of getting Samantha to chase him! Whatever he’s doing is working, because the girl WANTS him, and that puts him in the power position. He’s gotta keep her on the string, so to speak, if he wants her to stay interested. If he gives in, I think any PUA worth his salt is gonna know this will open her up to getting Pick-Upped on by some halfway decent player at whatever school she’s attending. If he keeps her on the hook, he’ll bypass this because she’ll be too wrapped up in him to think about other guys (who you KNOW are probably already knocking on the door if she’s half-way decent looking).

So Doc redeems himself here with a bit of good advice to offset the bad. So far, I’m not too impressed with Doc Love’s insight, but I think he might have some interesting stuff to offer. If you want to check out the article, you can read it here.

Tips for Single Status

So I’m reading this article on Match.com entitled “Dateless for Valentine’s Day: Am I a Loser?” Usually, I don’t put too much stock in the stuff they put on Match.com because it’s mostly a watered-down PC advice column that’s designed to get people to use the service, that, and it’s mostly geared towards the supplicative “Women are the Prize” frame. So I didn’t have a date for VD, and when i saw the article I decided to check it out just to make sure whether I’m a loser or not, and surprizingly, I found some pretty decent advice in the column. Here’s what I liked:

Trish McDermott, VP of Romance, Match.com, writes:
Here are some other tips for dealing with your single status — and for helping Cupid find you a Valentine before next year’s lovefest:

1. Start with a clean slate
If you’re still smarting from a recent break-up, it’s time to purge the pain. Write her name on a rock, and toss it in a lake; scrawl it on a scrap of paper, and burn it. But don’t dwell on relationship failures. Instead, review what you could have done better or revisit danger signs you didn’t see (or heed) until it was too late. This will help you avoid similar miscues in the future, increasing your confidence because you’ll know you won’t be repeating bad patterns this time around.

2. Don’t be afraid to ask
Sometimes just asking is the best way to get what you’re looking for. List what you liked and disliked about your last few relationships. Create another list of qualities you appreciated in former girlfriends as well as the qualities you didn’t. Then use your lists to create your free profile.

3. Stretch your limits
How far would you go for love? Some people are willing to move thousands of miles for a chance at romance, while others won’t go further than the next block. Once you’ve determined your geographical boundaries, you can search for single women in that area and not waste time — yours or hers.

4. Dress for success
Look the part of the dashing romantic by enhancing your appearance. Drastic changes like we see on TV aren’t necessary, but a new haircut, a different trim of your beard or some new shirts could raise your stock — or at least your mood. Once you’ve upgraded your look, have your friend snap a few photos to post with your profile.

Now, this is not new or groundbreaking advice, but you’d be surprized at how simple stuff like dressing nice and writing shit down can help you advance your skills. I don’t think guys do this enough. Most of us are lazy, and I know that I’ve been guilty of this before. But when you really take the time to sit down and write out things like goals, sticking points, ideas, etc., your life really takes a turn for the better because you give it direction and purpose instead of floundering around haphazardly.

If you want to check out the full article, you can read it here.

Delay on Swinggcat Part V

Sorry, sorry, sorry. It’s taking me a little longer to transcribe the last part of my interview with Swinggcat, mostly because I was out all weekend. Did a pretty good PU of a stripper on Valentine’s Day, but we’ll see if that goes anywhere. If anyone has good advice on getting strippers to meet you outside the club, e-mail me and share the wealth =)

Anyway, I’ll have the last part of the Swinggcat interview up this afternoon.

Become a Regular

An incredibly talented Pick-Up Artist who goes by the name Bro Ninja PooAh wrote up a reply to a guy talking about AMOGS and getting in fights on the SDPLAY list. I thought he had some really interesting advice on how to deal with things like that. I’m reposting this here with his permission.

Bro Ninja PooAh writes:
Listen… If you’re a regular at a club and your not friends with the bouncers, that’s mistake number 1. Whether people pick on you or not, knowing the bouncers will get you past the line, enable you to get girls in who are waiting outside, and give you massive social proof. Plus, they will watch your back.

I was at a club a few weeks ago, and these GIRLS started talking shit to me. (They told me I pushed them, I said it wasn’t me, they said it was, I said, “fuck off”, they said it back, blah blah blah). I turned my back on them, and when I did the head doorman (who had seen the whole thing) came up to me and asked if I wanted them thrown out. I let them stay, but it was nice to have the choice.

Also if you’re friends with the staff you get one “free” fight at the club every few months. I was at another club a couple months ago, and some guy was talking shit to me over some girl. We all got thrown out. One the way out, the bouncers apologized to me (it was standard procedure) and invited me to their VIP Xmas Party. I ended up fighting the guy in the street, and the bouncers broke it up. They apologized to me for having to deal with that shit, and told him never to come back again.

So make some friends and improve your nightlife!

Good stuff. I think it is important to get to know the people who work at the places you frequent. It can help tremendously with your social proof, and also get you quite a few perks to boot, as BNP talked about in his post.

Gods, Demi-Gods, & Mortals

SteviePUA has an interesting post up in the Advanced forum of mASF about workshops and what people are able to get out of them. Here’s a little blurb from the post:

SteviePUA writes:
There is a related issue here for me to address and it is about the need for constant self-improvement. Now we are getting into the realm of the Demi-Gods. What Recoil and Larkin had going for them before the Bad Boy workshop was a lot of conflicting knowledge and a myriad of systems to fathom out, some of them complimentary to each other and some less so. I have met these two guys in the field and realised that they had a lot of ASF theory in their heads but they were not putting it into action. All the theory in the world is great but not useful a jot in moving you forward in the real world unless you put it into practice. They couldn’t see the forest for the trees everywhere. Following the workshop Recoil even said that some of the ASF “taken for granted” wisdom might be erroneous. I don’t want to get into things that specific in this post though. Let’s stay with the wider picture here and leave those other issues for other posts and posters to discuss. That’s something Bad Boy workshop attendees might want to debate elsewhere.

You can read it all here.

Why’s everyone picking on MINE’99?

You know, I was really excited when I saw a post in the Advanced forum from MINE’99 on body language. For once I thought he might actually be sharing/teaching something good and contributing to the community without having to put someone down or make himself look superior. And he does share some good stuff, while, of course, putting people down and making himself feel superior. Which is sad, because I know — I KNOW that MINE’99 has good stuff to teach and share, and yet he does it in such a negative way, as evidenced by the replies he gets, such as:

jlaix writes:
this makes me barf

and

Dimitri writes:
You know you just got owned by Tyler, right? You’re advertising for him, now.

Ever heard the expression “there’s no such thing as bad publicity”? Yeah, man. You just gave Tyler publicity. Congratulations. He owns you.

Sigh. I wish people would stop giving MINE’99 a hard time. Maybe then he’ll start to be a NICE person and stop sowing seeds of negativity throughout the community, be it through flames or threats of legal actions against those he doesn’t like. I think if he came from a place of genuinely wanting people to improve and letting others express their own opinions and ideals without him having to put them down, others may actually look up to him instead of saying shit like “You got p0wned!!!” and the like.

Anyway, you can read the post here. Try to get the good stuff MINE’99 has to share out of his post and look past all the snyde jabs at Swinggcat and TD.

Why’s everyone picking on MINE’99?

You know, I was really excited when I saw a post in the Advanced forum from MINE’99 on body language. For once I thought he might actually be sharing/teaching something good and contributing to the community without having to put someone down or make himself look superior. And he does share some good stuff, while, of course, putting people down and making himself feel superior. Which is sad, because I know — I KNOW that MINE’99 has good stuff to teach and share, and yet he does it in such a negative way, as evidenced by the replies he gets, such as:

jlaix writes:
this makes me barf

and

Dimitri writes:
You know you just got owned by Tyler, right? You’re advertising for him, now.

Ever heard the expression “there’s no such thing as bad publicity”? Yeah, man. You just gave Tyler publicity. Congratulations. He owns you.

Sigh. I wish people would stop giving MINE’99 a hard time. Maybe then he’ll start to be a NICE person and stop sowing seeds of negativity throughout the community, be it through flames or threats of legal actions against those he doesn’t like. I think if he came from a place of genuinely wanting people to improve and letting others express their own opinions and ideals without him having to put them down, others may actually look up to him instead of saying shit like “You got p0wned!!!” and the like.

Anyway, you can read the post here. Try to get the good stuff MINE’99 has to share out of his post and look past all the snyde jabs at Swinggcat and TD.

Twenty-Six on Phone Game

HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!!! A rare and gracious post by the great and mighty twenty-six has landed on mASF! I’m speechless! I think Tenmagnet best summed things up in his reply:

Tenmagnet writes:
The two-fucking-six graces ASF with another money post. Do you fuckers understand how valuable the two-six’es time is? He can be fucking his lady friends now, but instead he helps YOU with your phone game. The two-six is gracious and kind.

My sentiments exactly. The post is filled with some genuine, funny tips about what 2-6 does with his phone game now that seem to be field tested and proven. Of course, that doesn’t stop MINE’99 from rearing his head and FLAMING him, with the help of a 14 year old, no less. Yet again, Tenmagnet sums it up best by saying:

Tenmagnet writes:
OMG – Is MINE’99 taking sarging advice from a 14 year old? This is funny.

Show Gabe the “Shining example of genetic perfection” opener. I bet he’ll shit himself.

**Post was edited by me.

Now, why such an incredible and talented guru such as MINE’99 would take the time to flame such a great guy like 2-6 along with his 14 year old nephew, I’ll never know. Couldn’t he just say “I disagree with your method. Here is what I think you’re doing wrong and why…”? But instead he has to take potshots at the guy, most likely because he’s in the dreaded “Tyler Durden” camp. Jesus. Can’t anyone be civil anymore? And he wonders why people don’t like him.

Anyway, you can read the good stuff by twenty-six here. Just ignore the cries for attention from the other posters.

THE ULTIMATE VD POST, via Gunwitch

Gunwitch reposted his all time fav. Valentine’s Day post, for all those poor lonely ASFers to study during the most unholy holliday known to man.

Gunwitch writes:
Had to repost this. Gotten laid plenty with it so take fuckin heed, forget today feb 14th, think tommorow feb 15th instead.

Sighs!

Exploitation of this holiday should be any PUAs NUMBER ONE CONCERN. Not buying gifts or not buying gifts etc.

You go down to fred myer or wal mart (department store) the next week or so, someplace where you can set up near valentines day wares, gifts, candies etc. Approach women near there so the merchandise will remind them of their lonely state. They arent in an LTR they will be in a HURRY to get in one. Regardless of a few “rules girls” etc, most women know the way to start an LTR off the right way and get a gift or a bubble bath or whatever the fuck by next week is to BANG YOUR COCK OFF ASAP.

Feb 15th, rebound day, same principle applies, only these are the ones who got ditched or ignored or were just too stuck up and dumb to take what opportunities they had, whatever, they had a BAD valentines day, this though is rebound day, as they are rethinking their stupid ASD and “white knight” fantasy you show up and talk to her.

By the way this isnt just field tested by ME, this is field tested by AFCme years back with no game and being overweight most years, still talking fucked a new chick for maybe a handful of approaches. I mean some of em of course got all babied and such or have a steady boyfriend and all, most though, even the most jaded loosen up around this time.

Oh by the way, in case you are a dumb ass, dont do cocky and funny or extreme sexual state shit on rebound day, as if she has the lowered self esteem you are looking for from a bad valentines day these things will freeze her up hardcore, as she is thinking “relationships warms and fuzzies”.

“make the ho say no”

Genius! Genius! I suggest all of you who live in the double-wides use this immediately!

MINE’99 on CNN

Apparently MINE’99 was on CNN’s Anderson Cooper show this weekend. I didn’t get to see the show, but I’ve heard from those who did they weren’t too kind on poor old MINE’99. But reading through the transcript on CNN’s website, it doesn’t seem like he came off too bad. He talked a little bit about yoga he teaches guys, and even threw in a little bit of Cocky/Funny, which of course he invented. Invented WAY WAY WAY before David D ever came along. Just look at his first book. IT’S IN THERE! I promise.

You can check out the transcript here. It’s about half-way down the page. You can read the responses to the taping on mASF here.

MINE’99 on CNN

Apparently MINE’99 was on CNN’s Anderson Cooper show this weekend. I didn’t get to see the show, but I’ve heard from those who did they weren’t too kind on poor old MINE’99. But reading through the transcript on CNN’s website, it doesn’t seem like he came off too bad. He talked a little bit about yoga he teaches guys, and even threw in a little bit of Cocky/Funny, which of course he invented. Invented WAY WAY WAY before David D ever came along. Just look at his first book. IT’S IN THERE! I promise.

You can check out the transcript here. It’s about half-way down the page. You can read the responses to the taping on mASF here.

Quote of the Day

Quote of the day goes to Neo-Rio, who responds to a poster asking a question about what to do if a girl slaps/grabs/pinches your ass in a club.

Neo-Rio writes:
Tease of course, you dumb fuck!

Priceless.  Like Mastercard.  =)

New and Improved Maniac Pick-Up Guide

It seems Formhandle has been busy fixing shit up! It would appear as though Maniac Hight’s website has recieved a facelift. I wonder if this has anything to do with the rumored return of Maniac to posting on mASF? Perhaps we have a new guru looking to create some buzz for some future products? Time will tell I suppose.

Formhandle writes:
Maniac High’s PickupGuide.com web site is now fully templatized and navigation made easier, with key links back to FS, and FS will again more prominently reciprocate the links to PUG.com. Just one minor page next/prev feature to fix & turn on and all will be set with that.

For those concerned, this adds no burden to Maniac as far as updating his own site, the process is all automated in real-time.

Added features are:

- cleaned up & compacted HTML (automated)
- GZIP deflate feature for browsers that support it (90% of browsers)
- with compacting/GZIP, pages will download 60-70% faster
- integrated acronym pop-ups
- heavy crawler auto-banning (same as FS, but less restrictive), this will curb even more the random “Lay Guide” exploitation rip-offs on the web
- automatic previous/next page navigation (still tweaking this)
- automated HTML titling for easier bookmark tracking

If anyone runs into technical problems with the templatized setup, let me know!

You can check out Maniac High’s Pick-Up Girl’s Guide here.

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