Drama and the Women Who Love It

**Reposted from the first Lair, original date: 12/17/03

Okay, so a conversation I had dealing with open loops opened up into a conversation about women’s need for drama. In part, this is because I feel open loops create a tension that most women crave, because they are emotional crackheads. They feed off emotion, and the strongest forms of emotion are the bad ones. So Budec from the SS list asked me to expound further on this thought. So I’m reposting this here for your viewing pleasure:

Well, you have to understand that to most women, being on a hellish emotional rollercoaster is equivalent to being content and happy.

The thing is, us men are logical creatures.  We naturally think “Well, we have no drama in our lives, so this is good.  I can sit down, watch a football game, and be content.  There are no problems to deal with.”  That is our logic talking, because as men, if we see a problem, be it a practical or emotional one, we naturally — LOGICALLY — look to fix it.

Women, on the other hand, are emotional.  The absence of drama means the absence of emotion.  Without it, they get bored and are NOT content.  So when they have no drama in their lives they seek to create it.  In their minds, they think “Well, I have drama in my life, so this is good.  I can call up my best friend and we have something to talk about for two hours. And then, I can call up my boyfriend and because of the information I got from my best friend, we have something to argue about for four hours.  Then I can call all my other friends and talk about what I argued about for the next three days…”

The thing about emotions is that they are a high.  Be they good emotions or troublesome ones, they can be addictive.  This is why make-up sex is often so revered, because it is the ultimate emotional release after the culmination of a very charged rollercoaster of feelings.

Women often NEED this type of thing to feel happy, to stay interested, etc.  A lot of guys I know who are in happy long term relationships often create drama for the women they are with.  It works out for both parties because the women get the emotions they crave and stay interested but the men, at the same time, are in control of the situation because they are aware of what they are doing.

When you boil all this seduction and pick-up stuff down to its core, all you are really left with is the manipulation of emotion.  That’s all this is.  Once you are conscious of this, women become less of a mystery, because you realize that by charging these emotions, giving them the highs they desire (and then taking those highs away), gives you the power and makes you the one they pursue.

If you look at what women do to men to get US so turned-around, its all a series of emotional highs and lows that they instinctively do, and it sucks us in just as it sucks in other women.  The only difference is that we as men do not know how to handle this tactic because we are so logical.  To us, once a solution is offered, the problems should be fixed.  But to women, the solution isn’t fixing the problem, rather, its creating a new problem that nullifies the old one.

Often times, when I’m talking to a woman or a female friend, they’ll start rambling on and on about stupid problems and drama that occur in their daily lives. Things about how men are ass holes, or what this girl said about her behind her back, etc.  I’ve learned that when I would talk to them about these things from an emotional standpoint, like saying shit such as “Oh man, how does that make you feel?” as opposed to offering a solution to their problems, they respond so much better.  In fact, if you want to get really evil, you can even create more drama by antagonizing them about their stances on these dramatic issues in their lives and get them all riled up.

Either way, my point is that emotion is the building block of attraction, and the negative emotions are much more powerful and attention grabbing *initially* than the positive emotions.  When you use these in tandem, the positive emotions are much more powerful and noticeable.  This is what girls crave.  This is why they want drama.  And this is how expert seducers play the game.

Well, at least that’s how I play it.

Thundercat