Bead P: The Newbie Catch 22
For Newbies, It’s A Catch 22
This article is for guys who want to learn pickup but are too afraid to go into the field. If you’re already good at pickup, don’t bother with this one.
After teaching pickup for the last 5 years, I’ve seen my fair share of guys who read pickup tips and then don’t try any of it. It’s the paramount problem that prevents people from improving.
For some guys, there’s a vicious cycle going on.
They can’t get women because they don’t have a lot of balls.
The won’t get any balls until they go into the field.
They can’t go into the field because they’re too scared of what might happen.
So the process of learning can’t ever begin, because in order to learn pickup, you must spend many hours in the field.
It’s a catch 22. You need the fear to go away so you can go in field, but the fear won’t go away until you go in field.
A lot of newbies are caught in this catch 22. They begin to feel that the field is an unattainable goal, and the only thing that might help their game is to read and study some more.
The bad news is that you can’t read and study your way into a girl’s pants. This isn’t grad school. Memorizing a bunch of theories won’t get you very far.
Furthermore, all of that reading moves many students backwards when it’s done with no field time (see The Forbidden Truth).
The solution to this issue is to make the field more attainable to newbies. In order to get to this goal, we’ll have to go against a few of the core pickup values temporarily.
So if you feel like you’re caught in this catch 22, I want you to suspend disbelief for a moment. This isn’t about finding a perfect 10 and cold approaching her and seducing her for a same night lay. You’ll have to work your way up to that. For now, it’s better to start with much smaller goals.
The first goal is to be able to function and be comfortable in a night life environment.
The second goal is to be able to have a conversation with someone in a night life environment.
The third goal is to be able to talk to a woman or group of women for a good 10 minutes without getting negative or nervous.
If you can do that, you’ve made a small step towards seducing the super hotties you’ve got your eye on. But first things first.
In order to make this extremely easy and attainable, I’d like to turn you on to some of the easiest places to socialize. If you’re advanced, or you already have normal social skills, you can skip the rest of this article. This is purely for the guys who are sitting home reading because they are too scared to go out and meet women.
Here are the 2 easiest settings to socialize in:
1- BBW Parties
What’s a BBW, you might ask? Well it’s a politically correct term for “fat chick.” BBW stands for “big beautiful woman.” There are organizations that throw weekly or month parties for BBWs and their gentleman admirers.
The rejection rate is very low at this kind of event. You don’t have to be good at pickup at all. You don’t have to use any lines or techniques, just show up and start talking off the top of your head and you’ll be fine.
I’m not saying you have to date these women or have sex with them, but you can talk with them so you get used to being in the presence of a woman.
In many ways, they respond the same way a normal woman would respond. So it’s really good practice. If you can get good at gaming BBWs, it’s a small leap to being able to game average girls. Who knows, you might even feel some connection or spark with a woman, or make some good friends.
They have these parties all over the country. Just type your zip code and “BBW party” into Google and you’ll see what I mean. Here’s an example- www.clubbounce.net
2- Goth Clubs
The Goth scene is full of people who have trouble socializing and want to break out of this issue and build relationships with others like themselves. In some ways it’s inspirational. The Goths have turned social isolation into a virtue.
People in the goth scene are extremely friendly and accepting of others. They will talk to anyone, no matter how awkward they may be. Many Goths are overcoming social awkwardness themselves, and the goth scene is a safe haven for them to develop their social skills.
You don’t have to look like a goth or dress like a goth to go to a goth club. They’re not the kind of people who would exclude you based on what you’re wearing. Many people who go to goth clubs are 9 to 5 office worker types. Goth clubs have a lot of people who don’t “look the part.”
The best part is that even if you spend the whole night scared and sulking in the corner by yourself, that actually makes you pretty cool by goth standards.
The bonus is that you also get the occasional super hot goth chick in a corset and pigtails. That will brighten your day.
Even if you’re scared to death of social situations, you’ll probably do OK in these 2 settings.
I hope this helps you make the first small step towards becoming more social.
-Brad P.
Comfort Building Routine
March 2, 2010 by Thundercat
Filed under Tips & Tricks
Eponymous has a great post about how to build comfort with a pretty solid routine in a post over at mASF.
Eponymous writes:
There don’t seem to be very many comfort routines in the community, even though I’ve heard a lot of big names declare that “the game is played in comfort”. This is a great routine that anyone should be able to use, and it is automatically rooted/personalized, since you’re using your own parents as an example.
Summary: You tell the girl how your parents (or grandparents) met and got married, emphasizing differences in the story each parent tells you. A good lead in is “I asked my parents how they met the other day and…”
script_: I won’t share my parents’ story, which is awesome but not congruent for other people, so here is how you get your own parents to open up (this routine can work with grandparents as well, so you have potentially three different couples to choose from).
All you have to do is ask your mother and father, separately, how they met. Press them for as many details as you can: what were the first words they said to each other, where did they go for their first few dates, was it love at first sight or did it evolve over time, were there any other boys/girls in the picture, etc. You’d be surprised how much your parents will remember.
Now the key thing here is to do this separately, because very often you will get different perspectives or even two completely different takes on the same set of events. In my case, my father left out some very juicy details that my mom later told me. These kinds of inconsistencies make the routine way more interesting for girls.
From here you can take the conversation in a number of interesting directions: male-female interactions, how her parents met, the show How I Met Your Mother, etc.
Calibration: Emphasize certain aspects of the story over others, depending on what you want to convey to the woman. In my case, it turns out my dad was basically a player who finally chose to settle down with my mom, so that kind of story sends really good signals about pre-selection and brain-hijacking (credit: MM) to the girl.
Building comfort is SO important. It’s nice to have a good routine like this to fall back on.
List Of “Boyfriend Destroyer” Comebacks
February 23, 2010 by Thundercat
Filed under Tips & Tricks
i6power over on mASF has a pretty good list of how to deal with the “I have a boyfriend” objection.
========= Yugo Mercedes ====
“I have a boyfriend.”
“I understand: You have to test drive the Yugo before you buy the Mercedes.”====== Direct Bounce ======
“omg I’m sure thats a big achievement for a girl like you”
” I’m not interested in him I’m interested in you”
“I thought you looked like the type of girl who would have at least two BF’s” (Dr Owl)If time permits, ask her about her bf, and become genuinly interested:
1. you: show active interest in what bf does for a minute..run a bait hook reel release on BF….i’ll show you in a minute, how!
now guys the way you look for a simple genuine thing in a girl and complement her, do the exact opposite for bf..look for the flaw. you’ll start programming her!2. Exadurate how good her bf is, like wow you guys should get married, he is so perfect for you.
=================== is he the one?
HB: I have a boyfriend.
Me: Is he “The One”?
HB: Uhhhhh….. I don’t know….maybe….etc etc
(this is usual. If a woman gives an emphatic YES, I say “Good. I’m glad for both of you.” and disqualify her. One reason is shes going to be hard as hell to game anyway, and the second reason is fucking up good relationships is not why I want to be a PUA)Me: How do you know I’m not? (Very direct, frank stare. Like the way James Bond might deliver such a line.)
or
Me:…uh-huh…..(With a “You are so full of shit look” and then a slight turn away)
Jim
================== super cocky approach === works only with girl who is infereior to you
(look at her like she’s a retard)
“okaaay… good for you”
( while patting her behind the back or shoulder or head)“… anyway…” (continue fluff / story telling / whatever…)
==== by RJ =============
Girl: “I have a boyfriend.”
Me: “Damn. At least let me introduce myself before telling me all about your problems! My name is Mr. Right aka the man of your dreams.”
Girl: (LOL) “You are so funny!”
Me: “I’m glad you laughed, it shows that you’ve got something else going for you, besides your beauty.”
Admittedly, the one by RJ is an oldie but a goodie, even if it is cheesy as hell. But whatever.
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