Holly Madison Has $1 Million Dollar Boobies

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So Hef’s former fiancee has just made sure if anything unsavory ever happens to her funbags, she’s covered.

So that's what the side of $500,000 looks like!

In the annals of unusual celebrity insurance policies, Holly Madison’s recent revelation that she has a $1 million policy with Lloyd’s of London on her breasts barely raises an eyebrow. After all, Adam Lambert’s crotch was covered for an even mil. Celine Dion reportedly insured her voice. Heck, David Lee Roth wisely — so so wisely — insured himself against his own sperm (should one ever complete its journey).

You can appreciate why these stars seek such insurance. Without their unique feature or talent, they are no longer that special person. It’s why Jimmy Durante insured his nose and Dolly Parton insures her breasts. It’s just smart business, even though these folks had talent beyond their extraordinary anatomical attribute. Madison, on the other hand — well, let’s just say she’s wise to protect her surgeon-given assets. As she puts it, “They’re my primary money makers right now.” Indeed. It would be a shame if something happened to them, and she had to fall back on her medical degree.

In the Age of the Reality Star, Madison is probably ahead of the curve. Fame can be especially fleeting when it’s not founded on legitimate talent. If The Situation hasn’t already insured his abs, he better. What other reality stars might want to look into insuring their assets? Kim Kardashian? Steve-O?

So I guess that’s $500K a boob.  If she’s ever desperate for money, she can just stab one of them boobies and let all the silicon leak out, and she’s still got another $500K waiting in the wings!  lol.

I wonder if there’s a time constraint on that insurance policy?  I mean, at a certain point, those things are gonna get saggy and wrinkly, so what happens then?

Top Boob Euphemisms In Music

Every guy knows that a favorite male pastime is giving various names to one of the greatest parts of the female anatomy – BOOBIES.  Well, the music industry has done its fair share of naming, and this article points them all out.  They are as follows…

• Titties
• Tatas
• Melons
• The Girls
• Balloons
• Hooters
• Lumps
• Peaches
• Love Muffins
• Knockers

Conspicuously absent from the list is my favorite euphemism… Bitch Hills.  (Followed closely by Tig Ol’ Biddies.)

 

Man Quest: Grab 1,000 Boobs

Some brilliant guy in Russia decided to go on a quest to grab 1,000 boobs… and succeeded.  Check out the video below to see his manly quest come to fruition.

In Russia, boobs grab YOU.

Jessica Simpson Loves Her Boobies

That bastion of investigative reporting, AskMen.com, is reporting that the rumors Jessica Simpson would be getting a breast reduction are UDDERly untrue.  (get it?  GET IT?)

In fact, Simpson herself made it clear her fun-jugs weren’t going anywhere…

Writing on her twitter page, Jessica said: “Been getting lots of questions about this alleged breast reduction…not to worry…I LOVE MY BOOBIES!! They aren’t going anywhere!

I think we need more celebrities speaking out against breast reduction.  Let’s start a “save the boobies” movement!  Who cares if women across America have to suffer from lower back problems?  Don’t you dare touch them playhills!!!

15 Things you Should Know About Breasts

Here’s a very interesting graphic listing 15 things about breasts you should probably know.

Good stuff.

Me likes boobies!