Live Bootycast Episode TONIGHT!

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Hey everyone,

Don’t forget to tune into the Bootycast tonight at 6 pm Pacific, 9 pm Eastern.  Me, AFC Adam, and Amanda Lyons are back for a full hour of seduction power as we discuss timely community-related topics!

A new feature is that we will have a live chat room AND a call-in line so you guys can interact with us during the show and ask questions and get on the show live.  We’re all really excited about this development, and we encourage you to join us.

Check out our show-page to listen in live and participate in the chat here:

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/bootycast

And you can call into the show toll-free here:

1-877-806-7458

The show’s recording will be posted on the blog tomorrow for those of you who can’t listen in, so if you can’t make it, don’t worry.

Should You Let Your Ex Back Into Your Life?

Should you help your ex out in a time of need?

The Witching Hour 53 – Gunwitch Radio Show

I actually had to do a double take when I came across this.  But yes, Gunwitch has his own Podcast!  And it’s FASCINATING.

Seriously, who hasn’t been curious about how Gunwitch’s mind works?  Well, now you can get insights as he rambles on for 2 hours about every-single-thing he finds interesting!!!!  Without a doubt, they need to get this guy on Howard 101 on Sirius or something.  lol.

Check it out here.

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

It’s like the Chuck Norris of Radio shows.  If you dare listen, try not to say “No” during the show.  Ha ha ha.

Why do you get girls more easily when you’re not trying?

Zan has an excellent article on his Natural Game forum about why guys get girls easier when they aren’t really trying.

Fellow Pirates,

Have you ever noticed how when you’re not trying to pick up girls, they seem to be more interested in you? And when you deliberately try, it’s like they scatter away. There’s been many ways to explain this, (inner game issues, outcome attachment, a sixth sense that girls have, etc) I have been thinking about this for a few days, letting it brew since I got the original idea. I think there’s a scientific basis for it. Let me try and set this up for you so it makes sense.

I just finished reading a book by Daniel Pink called Drive, which is essentially a book on motivation. I don’t intend to summarize the whole book in one paragraph but I will give you a brief introduction. Pink introduces the idea of Motivation 2.0 which is the rewards/punishment model of behavioral psychology (he calls it carrots and sticks) and he makes the case that it is an outdated model that no longer works in our current business climate.

He then talks about a new kind of motivation, dubbed 3.0, which centers on the research of Edward Deci and Self-Determination Theory (SDT) Essentially this new model of motivation is based on 3 core needs all humans have in order to enjoy what they do. They are: Autonomy (to have the freedom to set your own schedule and choose your own projects), Mastery (to get better at something) and Purpose (to have your work mean something)

What researchers have found through experiments is that Motivation 2.0 works really well for tasks that are algorithmic in nature. So if a job is comprised of a series of steps that are clearly laid out, then carrots and sticks work really well, that is the larger the reward, the better the performance. However, this model falls really short when tasks are creative in nature, require conceptual thinking and are not clearly laid out. In fact it falls really flat. Time and time again, researchers found that the large reward cripples people’s ability to do even simpler tasks like solving a puzzle.

In fact there are several well-documented averse effects that rewards/punishments introduce when dealing with creative tasks: (I’m only listing the ones that are relevant to the discussion here as we’ll see in a bit)
1) First rewards/punishments really crush creativity and ingenuity.
2) Second, they can extinguish intrinsic motivation, so the activity becomes more work and less fun.
3) It narrows down thinking and encourages cheating, shortcuts and unethical behavior (like a salesperson lying to you so he can make his quota)
4) It fosters short-term thinking

So how is this relevant to our discussion?

When we look at the idea of attracting women, do you think that it’s an algorithmic (i.e. step by step) type of task or a more creative type of task? Regardless of what PUA’s tell you, I would argue that it’s more of a creative task requiring ingenuity, wit, creativity, etc. There is no system that is clearly laid out, step by step that will guarantee results.

Now, assuming this, when you go out with the sole purpose of approaching women or picking up women, what type of motivation do you have in mind? Again, I would argue that you’re operating more out of a reward/punishment mindset where the reward is sex (or maybe a relationship) and the punishment is loneliness.

Given this, it’s no wonder that your tongue gets tied and you’re stuck trying to think of what to say next. Your brain has a clear destination in sight and is asking for the algorithm (the formula) of how to get there!! All your creativity is gone and if you try to do this all the time, as many PUA’s say you should practice relentlessly, then it slowly starts to feel like work and it’s no longer fun. And the most dangerous part is that you’re now thinking short-term and you tend to disregard longer term consequences. You want to get laid and you’ll do it at any cost, thus behavior such as trying to get the girl drunk or trying to force her (unethical behavior) definitely comes to mind!! If you’re a good guy, you’ll just leave frustrated.

This is also known as being attached to the outcome, but given the rewards/punishment model and 30+ years of scientific research to back it up, it’s a lot simpler to understand if seen in this light.

On the other hand, when you’re out having fun and not even thinking about pick-up, you’re being yourself, your entire creative mind is available to you so you’re naturally witty, charming and creative, and if the reward doesn’t even enter your mind (or you somehow DON’T think of sex as a reward) then you’re free to act as you please and things end up in intimacy it’s no big deal.

It’s the equivalent of the painter who’s painting for fun rather than for a commissioned piece. He doesn’t know where the painting is going to end up, he has no fixed end in sight and is simply enjoying the process but is tweaking as he goes. Research in fact found the pieces produced through this process were seen as much better work (and thus of higher value) by art appraisers than pieces that were paid for in advance.

In conclusion, we’re faced with the question of “How do you implement this in a way that reverses the negative effects of reward/punishment thinking and act more naturally?”

I only have two ideas, but am leaving this open for discussion:

1) Don’t focus on sex or relationship as a reward and loneliness as punishment. Go out there with the focus on having fun and enjoying yourself, not to run game.

2) Change the meaning of sex/relationship from a reward you get to something that happens. It’s not the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Sure it’s hard to ignore horniness when you see lots of scantily clad young women throwing their sexuality around like a status symbol. When sex is no longer a reward or loneliness no longer a punishment you’re finally free.

This is just a hypothesis of mine and clearly not a scientific theory so take it with a grain of salt. It’s just a different way of thinking that maybe will help you answer the question of what to do or understand what people mean by “just be yourself” or “do whatever you feel like doing”

As always, excellent advice from Zan.  :-)

Bootycast LIVE! Wednesday, 6pm Pacific, 9pm Eastern…

Hey Everyone,

AFC Adam and I are going to be hosting a LIVE recording of our podcast this Wednesday evening, August 11th.  We’ll be doing a live show starting at 6pm Pacific, 9pm Eastern time.

What do I mean by LIVE show?

Well, we’ll be broadcasting the show AS WE DO IT.  And a new bonus… we’ll actually be taking calls from people during the show!

That’s right.  You can actually call in and ask questions, make comments, etc. while we broadcast.  We’ll have a call screener in place to take your information and put you live on air with us.

The toll free number for the show is:  1-877-806-7458

You can also participate in a live chat on our show page.  Just head over to The Bootycast Page during the show to join the chat and listen in live.  You can ask your questions there too, since we’ll be monitoring it during the show.

And the show will also be available for download an hour or two after its over.  We’ll be posting a player here on the site.  We’re not on iTunes yet, but hopefully soon.

I look forward to hearing from you guys on the show!  It should be a good one.

Plenty Of Fish Profile Strategy To Attract Hot Young Women

JohnnyC69 has a great post over on the mASF forum about his strategy for creating profiles on Plenty Of Fish that attract hot girls.  It’s a pretty interesting breakdown of how he structures his profile, and anyone who is interested in online dating should check it out.

JohnnyC69 writes:

So the other week, I decided to delete my POF and OKC profiles. I was telling myself that I was spending too much time online and that I need to be getting out and honing my cold approach skills.

Problem is, I’m waiting to start a new job right now and until I do, I’m broke and jobless. Temporary problem with the solution already resolved, but fact is, I’m stuck at home waiting and waiting and waiting.

Hell, even if I wanted to make a trip out to wal-mart just to chat up girls, I don’t have the gas in my car to do it!

So after about a week and a half of getting no action to speak of, I got bored and decided to try out a new type of profile. It still utilizes the screening approach I had before, but thanks to some tips from Regal (actually I copy/pasted his and made some minor variations…what? half the ideas were mine anyway!), it’s now really geared toward young hot women, which, around here, it seems the only true hot ones are aged 18-23. After that age, you start getting into the single moms, jaded biatches, etc.

I WILL NOT post the profile on here. After looking on PAIR and seeing how many local guys there are on here (you fucking lurkers! speak up for chrissake!), I can see it getting abused too easily.

I’ll give you the formula though:

Talk about yourself in a C/F manner in the beginning, i.e: “Me? What do I do? I kick ass and take names!” etc…it should be obvious that you’re playing around in an over the top, funny (but still cocky) way.

Next paragraph, tell her how amazing you expect her to be. Then go over the top funny in the descriptions of how she should be amazing. Be creative. In fact, feel free to brainstorm on ways we can make new templates from this model, I’d love to hear what you guys can come up with. I’m talking to you, Mankite.

So that was about it for the profile. I did decided to do something that I’ve never been a fan of, but so far has proven to be doing me some good: I lied about my age.

And why the hell not? 18-23 year olds discriminate against guys in their 30′s. And yeah, I can already hear Blackdragon getting ready to come in and breath fire and acid all over me for having a “limiting belief.” However, it’s just been MY experience.

So this time when I filled it out, I shaved a good 7 years off of my actual age. Another thing about that: I DON’T FUCKING LOOK MY AGE. If the lie was more congruent to the reality, then I don’t see a problem.

At any rate, it’s working. The strategy was to swoop in and find some young, impulsive girls looking to be hot and impulsive with an “older” guy…but not too much older. For some reason, a hot 25 year old guy seems to fit the bill for most of them perfectly.

Supposed to be going over to a hot 18 year old black chick’s house this afternoon. She sent me her number yesterday in response to my opening message. Did a little phone sexing last night. She invited me to come to her house today.

“I don’t have gas money”
“I do.”
“Well alright then, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow…”

Young and impulsive indeed…

Some good stuff here.  Also, having a good picture for your profile will help.  If you’re going to put up pics, I recommend just putting up 1 really good pic.  If you want to play coy, or you don’t think you’re that good looking, you can refrain from having a pic and put in your profile that you will send pics upon request.  That’s worked real well for me in the past.

Toxic Personalities in Dating: The Taker

Cameron has a pretty cool post up on his blog about a certain “Toxic Personality” type you should learn to spot and avoid if possible.

TheOne writes:

Continuing in this series of toxic personality traits, we come to the examine the value taker. This is a trait exhibited by individuals who have a great propensity towards self-absorption and a lack of willingness to want to contribute.

To compound the above mentioned issues, these individuals also may display a bewildering sense of entitlement. I’ll explain that a bit later.

Like the complainer, the value-taker can become just as easy to spot, if you learn to know what to look for. To start identifying this trait, you just have to be aware of super basic tell-tale signs that give them away.

The most noticeable trait that is rather self evident is their complete disregard towards other people’s lives. You’ll quickly note their tendency to not ask any questions about you. When they do, it’s related to what they can siphon off for themselves. It’s not about showing any actual interest in you.

So let’s assume you’re at a party, and you run to such types. They’ll come into basic general varieties.

Type 1 : The Proverbial Gold-Digger who will dig for information: What do you drive? Do you own or rent? What kind of a job? They may not ask explicitly and blatantly, but they’ll try to investigate to discover this info.

Type II: Talk about themselves constantly. Sometimes it’s the gold digger trying to impress you. Having established you’re someone of value, she is going to want to make a good impression. The most fascinating part this is that her own gold-digging prowess is limited by her lack of social skills.

It’ll sound like this: “Oh, I just moved her from Chicago, ya know I just love Chicago, but I moved out here, then when I got here, blah, blah, blah,… (2 min later) then 3 weeks later when I was on this job, I heard that…. Blah, blah, blah…”

Their story is not anecdotal, nor does it have a point. It’s not meant to entertain you, (because that’d be actually contributing something to the interaction), nor is it in the spirit of sharing and establishing rapport between two individuals.

It’s just a person talking. It’s not whimsical, insightful, educational, anecdotal, humorous, or entertaining. Just random words thrown in the air that follow enough of a format where they seem to make somewhat coherent sentences in the English language. (or a foreign language for that matter.)

To go a step deeper, individuals with this toxic personality trait often display a sense of entitlement. For some reason, unbeknownst to the rest of humanity, these people feel that they’re entitled to certain things. For this reason, they’re the worst to deal with in any sort of relationship, be it friendships, business, or romantic.

You could easily gather a handful of various businessmen in a variety of industries and they could easily tell you the common behavioral patterns amongst problem customers who suffer from a sense of entitlement.

Let’s say you had some sort of a consulting service, and you’re one of the best at what you do. Your rates for services rendered are an even $100 per hour.

A healthy person would enjoy your services, thank you for a job well done, and refer many clients towards word of mouth.

A toxic “Entitled” person would stay a half hour over time squeezing more of your services and time, (now up to 90 minutes instead of 60), and then at the end of all that, try to negotiate to pay less than the usual 100-Dollar rate.

Worst case scenario: He wasted an extra half hour of your time, paid you less than your current rates, and then may still want a refund 3 weeks later. I have no respect for these types of people. They pull douchebag moves that are driven by their self-absorption and sense of entitlement.

As usual, this is not specific to gender. Both men and women can possess this toxic trait.

What you can do about it: Get the f*** away from such people.

Sometimes, just the questions they ask you reveal enough insight that enables you to distinguish the toxicity within their personalities. In business, it’s the difference between, “Wow, your rates are too steep man” versus “I can’t afford all of that right now. Is there something else I can do or offer to make up for it?”

The latter person wants to contribute. This in fact reminds me of a friend of mine who is a fantastic kickboxer. He charges a good rate for his hourly services, but then, every so often I’d find random dudes helping him in various endeavor.

Upon being asked regarding a guy helping him build a fence in his backyard, he responded, “Oh, that’s ‘John’. He can’t afford to pay me so I told him I’d teach him and he could help me build that fence.”

I told him it sounded like the Karate Kid movie all over again! He laughed and agreed.

The point is, “John” was willing to contribute but the dude simply couldn’t afford to pay the cash required. Was building a fence exact compensation? Nope, but it was enough of an effort that was worthy.

Will everyone be willing to do what my kickboxing teacher friend did? No, but you’ll find enough people who will help you if you are willing to CONTRIBUTE in whatever way you can.

The article is pretty good.  I suggest you check out the full thing here.  I guess its part of a series of people with “Toxic Personalities.”  It can be hard to spot people who are “takers” sometimes because a skilled one will fool you into thinking they’re nice and cool, and you don’t realize they’re a complete douche until they’ve successfully screwed you over.

I’ve found the best way to deal with “Takers” is to have immense self respect.  The more confident you are in yourself, the more you respect your own time and contributions to others, the harder it is for people to take advantage of you.

Troubles Being Social – For Beginners

Naistehirm writes:
Hey,

okay, I have a problem that I have no idea how to get over, I think I have tried several different methods, but none does the work for me.

Anyway, my prob is that most of the time I’m way too dull and not very talkative. I feel like I have never something to say and my mind seems to be pretty empty all the times, or full of crap like I’m thinking why do I not have anything to say.

I party a lot, but most of the time only cause I force myself to go to parties and be social, but that’s not good since in those cases I absolutely don’t enjoy myself.

Especially when I’m sober I have no clue what to talk about. Normally I am in social circles so my chances of getting girls are by social circle, but I have problems attracting girls when I have no idea what to tell them/or what to speak about, nothing comes to my mind, not even any random shit. Sometimes I’m able to hold conversation for few mins, but out of there it just gets dull and I make an excuse to get out of conversation or sometimes I just ignore people cause I don’t have a clue how to answer their questions or whatever. It’s not that I overthink my answers, it’s just that I feel there’s nothing to say. And this makes me feel very uncomfortable in social situations.

And I go out pretty much every day and I haven’t gotten any better. I haven’t got laid for 1.5 years (and I have really got laid for just once, and it wasn’t very enjoyable, was drunk and didn’t get the girl wet so it wasn’t cool at all).
And cause of me not getting girls and all my friends being succesful it hits my self esteem pretty bad, although it’s not that bad, cause I’m still thinking kind of realistically, and my looks aren’t bad either, so all I’m worried about is that I have nothing to say.

I only feel comfortable in social situations when I have had few beers, but then it lasts for just a while and sometimes it just makes me depressed so I can’t just focus on alcohol, and it would be a lot better if I was able to stay social even when I was sober.

Approaching girls is not a big problem for me, out of my friends I think I seem to be more couraegous about this part, but whenever I approach I can only hold conversation for a little while and then I start feeling uncomfortable cause I can’t move things anywhere.

Most of the discussion my friends do is cocky/funny type of, which seems to work on girls very well, but I rarely manage to do that, and even when I’m able to, then I have been silent for a way too long time and then it can come out either lame or mean or whatever.

Seeing my friends being succesful and me not getting any at all, makes me pretty depressed at times and I really want to get over it, cause atm I feel like I’m never going to get girls or even a relationship.

I feel pretty uncomfortable on 1 on 1 situations too, especially when with girls, because I feel like I’m forced to say something but nothing comes to my mind, not even any random stuff. I only feel comfortable with my guy friends cause then I don’t have to talk so much, so it doesn’t affect anything. But yeah, maybe someone can show me the right direction, what to do or whatever…

Thank you.

PUA Deathmatch: Ross Jeffries vs. David DeAngelo

Welcome to a new feature on the Lair – PUA DEATHMATCH!  For years, people have speculated who would prevail should two PUAs go head-to-head in the field, but until now, none have occured!

Many challenges have been offered, yet we haven’t seen any PUA’s willing to make it happen… until NOW!

Meeting for the first time in mortal combat in the Thundercat Seduction Arena in Orlando, Florida – scheduled for one fall, the two “Godfathers” of the seduction community meet in the first ever PUA DEATHMATCH!

Everyone loves to hate him, and now the originator of Speed Seduction -Ross Jeffries – gets a chance to take on his once-and-former student David DeAngelo!  Its no secret there is a lot of bad blood between these two titans of the seduction industry, and now they get a chance to take out their frustrations on each other!  Will RJ stop at nothing to defeat David DeAngelo?  Will David D.’s meticulous nature wear down the dastardly hypnotist?

Who will win?  Who will survive?  Watch and see in this TSL exclusive:  PUA DEATHMATCH, ROSS JEFFRIES VS. DAVID DEANGELO!!!!!

And if you have any suggestions for future Deathmatches, leave them in the comments below!

AFC Adam Bootcamp Review – Austin, August 2010

FunTimes over at puaforums.com posted a brief review of the bootcamp he took with AFC Adam this month:

FunTimes writes:

I attended this bootcamp in Austin and am writing a series of posts to review it and to go over some field reports from during it on my blog.  I don’t want to spam so I won’t repost the full text here, but I thought I would point them out in case anyone is curious what Adam’s bootcamp is like.

Attending the bootcamp was a very difficult decision for me to make to attend the bootcamp because my finances are extremely tight right now; doing so basically forced me to enter credit card debt for the first time in my life.

However I have absolutely no regrets now. It was a life changing experience for me; I underwent some kind of transformation in those three days that has taken me from having no game at all to being confident, smooth, and capable of pick up. I am still a newbie, but I feel like I know the rules of the game now. All that is left is practice, practice practice.

To give you an idea of my progress I started the boot camp with extreme social anxiety (I could push myself to approach, but only perhaps 2-3 times per night) and no conversation skills whatsoever. I would generally open with jealous-ex and then peter out into awkward land. Post-bootcamp I have dates lined up with a girl I met during the in-field, the cute intern at work I have been secretly drooling over for the last month, and have started to successfully break down the ‘LJBF’ zone of one of my previous failures.

I tried to find the more detailed write-up of FunTime’s review because it sounds like he really got a lot out of it, but the moderator on the forum took down the link.  If anyone knows where to find this, email me.

Regardless, there is a REASON why AFC Adam is the #1 PUA in the world, and his bootcamps are just flat-out awesome. They remind me of the glory days of the Mystery Method bootcamps, only with less eyeliner and more guys getting laid.  But yeah, Adam’s students have an insane success rate.  Anyone who’s thinking about taking a bootcamp should definitely consider taking Adam’s first.

Questions About Online Game

EricTheViking over at mASF had some interesting questions about online dating I thought I’d address:

EricTheViking writes:

1. Why is it that I have much more success if I use the photos of some good looking guy on my profile? I thought looks don’t matter but if I looked like that guy I could have sex with a new 9 every week.

2. Why is it that you guys don’t use Facebook to find girls? Why dating sites»? I have tons of hotties on Facebook (literally hundreds), so could you, why use dating sites»? I’m really interested in an answer to this question.

Let’s answer these questions in turn… Read more

A Healthy “Relationship” Frame

You know, every once in a while, I read a post that is just so spot on, it simply has to be featured, commented on, and passed around.   And this post on Relationship Game by AlwaysExcel over on the mASF board is definitely one of those.

Check it out…

AlwaysExcel writes:

After my disillusionment with long term relationship success this fall, I’ve experienced a pretty dramatic shift in focus or understanding of this stuff. As I‘ve stated already on here, I’ve adopted the belief that women leave regardless of what we do. Thus, I don’t give a shit about “doing the right thing” anymore. It’s been freeing.

Neo Rio once made a post about how you should delete the relationship if the relationship is stressing you out. I’m currently applying that, not to specific bad relationships, but to the general concept of “having a relationship.” This concept causes me anxiety about proper MAINTENANCE (ugh) and calibration of attraction, respect, compliance, her and my position in each other’s lives, logistics, energy investment etc. etc. Even if you’re restricting your energy investment into a chick, just the act of paying attention and TRYING TO GET IT RIGHT is a betaizing energy investment! The concept of “having a relationship” is also a platform for shit testing and jealousy.

Scary wrote about the value of STRs this year because they cut out the stress of longer relationships. I think he’s onto something. I’m personally taking it further so that EVERY interaction with a chick is a STR. After we’ve fucked and she leaves, she’s back to being a friend who I may or may not ever fuck again. If she has a problem with that, I simply soft next her by….DOING NOTHING (which means by default that sex doesn’t happen between us). In other words, I’m now all about friends with benefits.

I’ve found the key to this so far is being comfortable with fucking my friends and comfortable with LBJFing my lovers. And the key to being comfy with fucking my friends is being sexual (kino and flirtation) with ALL of my female friends so that slipping into sex is perfectly natural and smooth with the ones I decide to fuck. Basic stuff.

I don’t have to fuck all my friends, even the hot ones, or even continue fucking them. Since I no longer give a shit, any resistance from girls in the form of flat vibes, bitch shields, flakes, bad logistics, LMR, etc, just turns off my interested switch. I’d rather LBJF a chick than struggle with her over this stuff. This goes for both before and after initial seduction.

The goal with this new frame is getting and keeping good feelings and mutual value escalation in friendships instead of getting and keeping power like I used to fret about in romantic relationships. If either I or the girl fouls the vibe along the way, then attraction breaks, and we fall into the safety net of the friend zone/social circle either temporarily or permanently. I don’t hate the friend zone anymore because I get laid regularly and I know most women leave. If a friend stops fucking me because of a new monogamous relationship, I’m happy for her like I would be for any other friends because we had no “steady sexual or romantic relationship” that was lost. Either way, good feelings are maintained.

“Friendship” is a very fluid term. It encompasses deep connections and very casual acquaintances. It’s possible to be sexual with friends of any depth.

Friendship + sex = most of the good shit in relationships as far as I’m concerned. The only thing missing is the idea of rank/special status/role that can be romantic and nice but also the source of anxiety, ownership, and conflict. I don’t worry about my friends being too busy to hang out over the holidays or going on a trip without me. But that would be the source of drama in a romantic relationship. I can still do romantic stuff like trips, dinners, movies, phone calls, being affectionate, and even saying ILY etc because I do that shit with my friends too! And since I have the frame of serial STRs with friends, I can let myself experience romantic affection in those moments.

I can tell this guy is the real deal when it comes to this stuff, because I think most PUAs who reach a level where women are flocking to them like lemmings to the ocean, and they’ve been in enough relationships, can relate to what AlwaysExcel is saying.  I would definitely recommend you read the entire post here.

Any girl you’re in a serious relationship with will be a “friend,” but having a number of casual relationships with lots of different women will give you a good deal of power and choice to definite the type of relationships you want to be in.  If you can prevent yourself from getting too strongly emotionally attached to any one girl until such time as you make the conscious decision that you’ve found a girl you want to get serious with, you will tend to be a lot happier (and a lot more successful) in the “relationship game.”

Pandora’s Box Webinar Tonight

In case anyone is interested – Vin DiCarlo is going to finally reveal his brand-new Pandora’s Box System and he’s putting on a live Webinar to show you how it all works.

Vin tells me that during the Webinar, he’ll choose a guy to help figure out how to get a girl he likes, using his new system.  Honestly, I think Vin’s Pandora’s Box system is pretty cool, so if you don’t know much about it, now’s your chance to find out.  The webinar is free so you don’t have to pay anything to listen in.

So to get access, just go and opt into Vin’s Pandora’s Box site, and you’ll be sent the Webinar info.  (If you’ve already signed up, just do it again to get the webinar information)

So if you’re at all interested in the “mind reading” tactics and things like that, be sure to check it out.  It was supposed to happen yesterday but I guess Vin had some trouble with his servers, so today’s your chance to check it out.

Bead P: The Newbie Catch 22

For Newbies, It’s A Catch 22

This article is for guys who want to learn pickup but are too afraid to go into the field. If you’re already good at pickup, don’t bother with this one.

After teaching pickup for the last 5 years, I’ve seen my fair share of guys who read pickup tips and then don’t try any of it. It’s the paramount problem that prevents people from improving.

For some guys, there’s a vicious cycle going on.

They can’t get women because they don’t have a lot of balls.

The won’t get any balls until they go into the field.

They can’t go into the field because they’re too scared of what might happen.

So the process of learning can’t ever begin, because in order to learn pickup, you must spend many hours in the field.

It’s a catch 22. You need the fear to go away so you can go in field, but the fear won’t go away until you go in field.

A lot of newbies are caught in this catch 22. They begin to feel that the field is an unattainable goal, and the only thing that might help their game is to read and study some more.

The bad news is that you can’t read and study your way into a girl’s pants. This isn’t grad school. Memorizing a bunch of theories won’t get you very far.

Furthermore, all of that reading moves many students backwards when it’s done with no field time (see The Forbidden Truth).

The solution to this issue is to make the field more attainable to newbies. In order to get to this goal, we’ll have to go against a few of the core pickup values temporarily.

So if you feel like you’re caught in this catch 22, I want you to suspend disbelief for a moment. This isn’t about finding a perfect 10 and cold approaching her and seducing her for a same night lay. You’ll have to work your way up to that. For now, it’s better to start with much smaller goals.

The first goal is to be able to function and be comfortable in a night life environment.

The second goal is to be able to have a conversation with someone in a night life environment.

The third goal is to be able to talk to a woman or group of women for a good 10 minutes without getting negative or nervous.

If you can do that, you’ve made a small step towards seducing the super hotties you’ve got your eye on. But first things first.

In order to make this extremely easy and attainable, I’d like to turn you on to some of the easiest places to socialize. If you’re advanced, or you already have normal social skills, you can skip the rest of this article. This is purely for the guys who are sitting home reading because they are too scared to go out and meet women.

Here are the 2 easiest settings to socialize in:

1- BBW Parties

What’s a BBW, you might ask? Well it’s a politically correct term for “fat chick.” BBW stands for “big beautiful woman.” There are organizations that throw weekly or month parties for BBWs and their gentleman admirers.

The rejection rate is very low at this kind of event. You don’t have to be good at pickup at all. You don’t have to use any lines or techniques, just show up and start talking off the top of your head and you’ll be fine.

I’m not saying you have to date these women or have sex with them, but you can talk with them so you get used to being in the presence of a woman.

In many ways, they respond the same way a normal woman would respond. So it’s really good practice. If you can get good at gaming BBWs, it’s a small leap to being able to game average girls. Who knows, you might even feel some connection or spark with a woman, or make some good friends.

They have these parties all over the country. Just type your zip code and “BBW party” into Google and you’ll see what I mean. Here’s an example- www.clubbounce.net

2- Goth Clubs

The Goth scene is full of people who have trouble socializing and want to break out of this issue and build relationships with others like themselves. In some ways it’s inspirational. The Goths have turned social isolation into a virtue.

People in the goth scene are extremely friendly and accepting of others. They will talk to anyone, no matter how awkward they may be. Many Goths are overcoming social awkwardness themselves, and the goth scene is a safe haven for them to develop their social skills.

You don’t have to look like a goth or dress like a goth to go to a goth club. They’re not the kind of people who would exclude you based on what you’re wearing. Many people who go to goth clubs are 9 to 5 office worker types. Goth clubs have a lot of people who don’t “look the part.”

The best part is that even if you spend the whole night scared and sulking in the corner by yourself, that actually makes you pretty cool by goth standards.

The bonus is that you also get the occasional super hot goth chick in a corset and pigtails. That will brighten your day.

Even if you’re scared to death of social situations, you’ll probably do OK in these 2 settings.

I hope this helps you make the first small step towards becoming more social.

-Brad P.

Comfort Building Routine

Eponymous has a great post about how to build comfort with a pretty solid routine in a post over at mASF.

Eponymous writes:

There don’t seem to be very many comfort routines in the community, even though I’ve heard a lot of big names declare that “the game is played in comfort”. This is a great routine that anyone should be able to use, and it is automatically rooted/personalized, since you’re using your own parents as an example.

Summary: You tell the girl how your parents (or grandparents) met and got married, emphasizing differences in the story each parent tells you. A good lead in is “I asked my parents how they met the other day and…”

script_: I won’t share my parents’ story, which is awesome but not congruent for other people, so here is how you get your own parents to open up (this routine can work with grandparents as well, so you have potentially three different couples to choose from).

All you have to do is ask your mother and father, separately, how they met. Press them for as many details as you can: what were the first words they said to each other, where did they go for their first few dates, was it love at first sight or did it evolve over time, were there any other boys/girls in the picture, etc. You’d be surprised how much your parents will remember.

Now the key thing here is to do this separately, because very often you will get different perspectives or even two completely different takes on the same set of events. In my case, my father left out some very juicy details that my mom later told me. These kinds of inconsistencies make the routine way more interesting for girls.

From here you can take the conversation in a number of interesting directions: male-female interactions, how her parents met, the show How I Met Your Mother, etc.

Calibration: Emphasize certain aspects of the story over others, depending on what you want to convey to the woman. In my case, it turns out my dad was basically a player who finally chose to settle down with my mom, so that kind of story sends really good signals about pre-selection and brain-hijacking (credit: MM) to the girl.

Building comfort is SO important.  It’s nice to have a good routine like this to fall back on.

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