Toxic Personalities in Dating: The Taker
August 10, 2010 by Thundercat
Filed under Analysis, Articles
Cameron has a pretty cool post up on his blog about a certain “Toxic Personality” type you should learn to spot and avoid if possible.
TheOne writes:
Continuing in this series of toxic personality traits, we come to the examine the value taker. This is a trait exhibited by individuals who have a great propensity towards self-absorption and a lack of willingness to want to contribute.
To compound the above mentioned issues, these individuals also may display a bewildering sense of entitlement. I’ll explain that a bit later.
Like the complainer, the value-taker can become just as easy to spot, if you learn to know what to look for. To start identifying this trait, you just have to be aware of super basic tell-tale signs that give them away.
The most noticeable trait that is rather self evident is their complete disregard towards other people’s lives. You’ll quickly note their tendency to not ask any questions about you. When they do, it’s related to what they can siphon off for themselves. It’s not about showing any actual interest in you.
So let’s assume you’re at a party, and you run to such types. They’ll come into basic general varieties.
Type 1 : The Proverbial Gold-Digger who will dig for information: What do you drive? Do you own or rent? What kind of a job? They may not ask explicitly and blatantly, but they’ll try to investigate to discover this info.
Type II: Talk about themselves constantly. Sometimes it’s the gold digger trying to impress you. Having established you’re someone of value, she is going to want to make a good impression. The most fascinating part this is that her own gold-digging prowess is limited by her lack of social skills.
It’ll sound like this: “Oh, I just moved her from Chicago, ya know I just love Chicago, but I moved out here, then when I got here, blah, blah, blah,… (2 min later) then 3 weeks later when I was on this job, I heard that…. Blah, blah, blah…”
Their story is not anecdotal, nor does it have a point. It’s not meant to entertain you, (because that’d be actually contributing something to the interaction), nor is it in the spirit of sharing and establishing rapport between two individuals.
It’s just a person talking. It’s not whimsical, insightful, educational, anecdotal, humorous, or entertaining. Just random words thrown in the air that follow enough of a format where they seem to make somewhat coherent sentences in the English language. (or a foreign language for that matter.)
To go a step deeper, individuals with this toxic personality trait often display a sense of entitlement. For some reason, unbeknownst to the rest of humanity, these people feel that they’re entitled to certain things. For this reason, they’re the worst to deal with in any sort of relationship, be it friendships, business, or romantic.
You could easily gather a handful of various businessmen in a variety of industries and they could easily tell you the common behavioral patterns amongst problem customers who suffer from a sense of entitlement.
Let’s say you had some sort of a consulting service, and you’re one of the best at what you do. Your rates for services rendered are an even $100 per hour.
A healthy person would enjoy your services, thank you for a job well done, and refer many clients towards word of mouth.
A toxic “Entitled” person would stay a half hour over time squeezing more of your services and time, (now up to 90 minutes instead of 60), and then at the end of all that, try to negotiate to pay less than the usual 100-Dollar rate.
Worst case scenario: He wasted an extra half hour of your time, paid you less than your current rates, and then may still want a refund 3 weeks later. I have no respect for these types of people. They pull douchebag moves that are driven by their self-absorption and sense of entitlement.
As usual, this is not specific to gender. Both men and women can possess this toxic trait.
What you can do about it: Get the f*** away from such people.
Sometimes, just the questions they ask you reveal enough insight that enables you to distinguish the toxicity within their personalities. In business, it’s the difference between, “Wow, your rates are too steep man” versus “I can’t afford all of that right now. Is there something else I can do or offer to make up for it?”
The latter person wants to contribute. This in fact reminds me of a friend of mine who is a fantastic kickboxer. He charges a good rate for his hourly services, but then, every so often I’d find random dudes helping him in various endeavor.
Upon being asked regarding a guy helping him build a fence in his backyard, he responded, “Oh, that’s ‘John’. He can’t afford to pay me so I told him I’d teach him and he could help me build that fence.”
I told him it sounded like the Karate Kid movie all over again! He laughed and agreed.
The point is, “John” was willing to contribute but the dude simply couldn’t afford to pay the cash required. Was building a fence exact compensation? Nope, but it was enough of an effort that was worthy.
Will everyone be willing to do what my kickboxing teacher friend did? No, but you’ll find enough people who will help you if you are willing to CONTRIBUTE in whatever way you can.
The article is pretty good. I suggest you check out the full thing here. I guess its part of a series of people with “Toxic Personalities.” It can be hard to spot people who are “takers” sometimes because a skilled one will fool you into thinking they’re nice and cool, and you don’t realize they’re a complete douche until they’ve successfully screwed you over.
I’ve found the best way to deal with “Takers” is to have immense self respect. The more confident you are in yourself, the more you respect your own time and contributions to others, the harder it is for people to take advantage of you.
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“We’ve learned from social media that the vaccine is already available,” Emmanuel Fikiri, a nurse working at the clinic that has been turned into a specialist centre to tackle the virus, told the BBC.
He said this was the first time he had treated patients with mpox and every day he feared catching it and passing it on to his own children – aged seven, five and one.
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The reason it will take time to transport the vaccines is that they need to be stored at a precise temperature – below freezing – to maintain their potency, plus they need to be sent to rural areas of South Kivu, like Kamituga, Kavumu and Lwiro, where the outbreak is rife.
The lack of infrastructure and bad roads mean that helicopters could possibly be used to drop some of the vaccines, which will further drive up costs in a country that is already struggling financially.
At the community clinic, Dr Pacifique Karanzo appeared fatigued and downbeat having been rushed off his feet all morning.
Although he wore a face shield, I could see the sweat running down his face. He said he was saddened to see patients sharing beds.
“You will even see that the patients are sleeping on the floor,” he told me, clearly exasperated.
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Mpox – formerly known as monkeypox – is a highly contagious disease and has killed at least 635 people in DR Congo this year.
Even though 200,000 vaccines, donated by the European Commission, were flown into the capital, Kinshasa, last week, they are yet to be transported across this vast country – and it could be several weeks before they reach South Kivu.
“We’ve learned from social media that the vaccine is already available,” Emmanuel Fikiri, a nurse working at the clinic that has been turned into a specialist centre to tackle the virus, told the BBC.
He said this was the first time he had treated patients with mpox and every day he feared catching it and passing it on to his own children – aged seven, five and one.
“You saw how I touched the patients because that’s my job as a nurse. So, we’re asking the government to help us by first giving us the vaccines.”
The reason it will take time to transport the vaccines is that they need to be stored at a precise temperature – below freezing – to maintain their potency, plus they need to be sent to rural areas of South Kivu, like Kamituga, Kavumu and Lwiro, where the outbreak is rife.
The lack of infrastructure and bad roads mean that helicopters could possibly be used to drop some of the vaccines, which will further drive up costs in a country that is already struggling financially.
At the community clinic, Dr Pacifique Karanzo appeared fatigued and downbeat having been rushed off his feet all morning.
Although he wore a face shield, I could see the sweat running down his face. He said he was saddened to see patients sharing beds.
“You will even see that the patients are sleeping on the floor,” he told me, clearly exasperated.
“The only support we have already had is a little medicine for the patients and water. As far as other challenges are concerned, there’s still no staff motivation.”
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Mpox – formerly known as monkeypox – is a highly contagious disease and has killed at least 635 people in DR Congo this year.
Even though 200,000 vaccines, donated by the European Commission, were flown into the capital, Kinshasa, last week, they are yet to be transported across this vast country – and it could be several weeks before they reach South Kivu.
“We’ve learned from social media that the vaccine is already available,” Emmanuel Fikiri, a nurse working at the clinic that has been turned into a specialist centre to tackle the virus, told the BBC.
He said this was the first time he had treated patients with mpox and every day he feared catching it and passing it on to his own children – aged seven, five and one.
“You saw how I touched the patients because that’s my job as a nurse. So, we’re asking the government to help us by first giving us the vaccines.”
The reason it will take time to transport the vaccines is that they need to be stored at a precise temperature – below freezing – to maintain their potency, plus they need to be sent to rural areas of South Kivu, like Kamituga, Kavumu and Lwiro, where the outbreak is rife.
The lack of infrastructure and bad roads mean that helicopters could possibly be used to drop some of the vaccines, which will further drive up costs in a country that is already struggling financially.
At the community clinic, Dr Pacifique Karanzo appeared fatigued and downbeat having been rushed off his feet all morning.
Although he wore a face shield, I could see the sweat running down his face. He said he was saddened to see patients sharing beds.
“You will even see that the patients are sleeping on the floor,” he told me, clearly exasperated.
“The only support we have already had is a little medicine for the patients and water. As far as other challenges are concerned, there’s still no staff motivation.”
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Mpox – formerly known as monkeypox – is a highly contagious disease and has killed at least 635 people in DR Congo this year.
Even though 200,000 vaccines, donated by the European Commission, were flown into the capital, Kinshasa, last week, they are yet to be transported across this vast country – and it could be several weeks before they reach South Kivu.
“We’ve learned from social media that the vaccine is already available,” Emmanuel Fikiri, a nurse working at the clinic that has been turned into a specialist centre to tackle the virus, told the BBC.
He said this was the first time he had treated patients with mpox and every day he feared catching it and passing it on to his own children – aged seven, five and one.
“You saw how I touched the patients because that’s my job as a nurse. So, we’re asking the government to help us by first giving us the vaccines.”
The reason it will take time to transport the vaccines is that they need to be stored at a precise temperature – below freezing – to maintain their potency, plus they need to be sent to rural areas of South Kivu, like Kamituga, Kavumu and Lwiro, where the outbreak is rife.
The lack of infrastructure and bad roads mean that helicopters could possibly be used to drop some of the vaccines, which will further drive up costs in a country that is already struggling financially.
At the community clinic, Dr Pacifique Karanzo appeared fatigued and downbeat having been rushed off his feet all morning.
Although he wore a face shield, I could see the sweat running down his face. He said he was saddened to see patients sharing beds.
“You will even see that the patients are sleeping on the floor,” he told me, clearly exasperated.
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And the people will get a chance to bid for this copy of the US Constitution — the only of its type thought to be in private hands — at a sale by Brunk Auctions on Sept. 28 in Asheville, North Carolina.
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With the election taking place on 5 November, Harris is slightly ahead in national opinion polls – but polls are very tight in key battleground states
Shortly after the debate, Taylor Swift endorsed Harris on Instagram, calling her a ”gifted leader”
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Trump criticised Harris’s record on immigration and the border, and also her shifting policy positions – Harris blamed him for “Trump abortion bans” and for the 6 January attacks on the US Capitol
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With the election taking place on 5 November, Harris is slightly ahead in national opinion polls – but polls are very tight in key battleground states
Shortly after the debate, Taylor Swift endorsed Harris on Instagram, calling her a ”gifted leader”
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Trump criticised Harris’s record on immigration and the border, and also her shifting policy positions – Harris blamed him for “Trump abortion bans” and for the 6 January attacks on the US Capitol
Snap polls suggest Harris won the debate, but Trump says afterwards that she “lost very badly”
With the election taking place on 5 November, Harris is slightly ahead in national opinion polls – but polls are very tight in key battleground states
Shortly after the debate, Taylor Swift endorsed Harris on Instagram, calling her a ”gifted leader”
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Trump criticised Harris’s record on immigration and the border, and also her shifting policy positions – Harris blamed him for “Trump abortion bans” and for the 6 January attacks on the US Capitol
Snap polls suggest Harris won the debate, but Trump says afterwards that she “lost very badly”
With the election taking place on 5 November, Harris is slightly ahead in national opinion polls – but polls are very tight in key battleground states
Shortly after the debate, Taylor Swift endorsed Harris on Instagram, calling her a ”gifted leader”
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Plain water is the only thing visitors are allowed to consume inside the huge cavern at Carlsbad Caverns National Park in New Mexico. Cheetos are a no-go, and the recent park visitor who dropped a bag full of them created a “huge impact” on the cave’s ecosystem, the park said Friday in a Facebook post.
“At the scale of human perspective, a spilled snack bag may seem trivial, but to the life of the cave it can be world changing,” the park said in its post about the garbage found off-trail in the Big Room.
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“The processed corn, softened by the humidity of the cave, formed the perfect environment to host microbial life and fungi. Cave crickets, mites, spiders and flies soon organize into a temporary food web, dispersing the nutrients to the surrounding cave and formations. Molds spread higher up the nearby surfaces, fruit, die and stink. And the cycle continues.”
The park said rangers spent 20 minutes carefully removing molds and foreign debris from surfaces inside the cave, noting that while some members of the ecosystem that rose from the snacks were cave-dwellers “many of the microbial life and molds are not.”
The post called that particular impact on the cave “completely avoidable,” contrasting it with the hard-to-prevent fine trails of lint left by each visitor.
“Great or small we all leave an impact wherever we go. Let us all leave the world a better place than we found it,” the post urged park goers.
The park’s website says that eating and drinking anything other than plain water attracts animals into the cavern.
Carlsbad Caverns followed up its post about the Cheetos bag with a post about the “leave no trace” principle of disposing of waste properly.
“Contrary to popular belief, the cave is NOT a big trash can,” the post said, yet rangers pick up waste left behind every day.
“Sometimes this can be a gum wrapper or a tissue, other times it can unfortunately mean human waste, spit, or chewing tobacco.” Visitors are asked to make sure they don’t leave trash in the cavern and to use designated restrooms.
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The wrecks of explosives-laden Nazi ships sunk in the Danube River during World War II have emerged near Serbia’s river port town of Prahovo, after a drought in July and August that saw the river’s water level drop.
Four vessels dating from before 1950 have also come to light in Hungary’s Danube-Drava National Park near Mohacs, where the Danube’s water level stood at only 1.5 meters (4.9 feet) on Tuesday, the lingering effect of severe heat waves and persistent drought in July and August.
The vessels revealed in Prahovo were among hundreds scuttled along the Danube by Nazi Germany’s Black Sea fleet in 1944 as they retreated from advancing Soviet forces, destroying the ships themselves. The wrecks can hamper river traffic during low water levels.
Strewn across the riverbed, some of the ships still have turrets, command bridges, broken masts and twisted hulls, while others lie mostly submerged under sandbanks.
Endre Sztellik, a guard at the Danube-Drava national park, said of one of the ships, “we still don’t know what this is exactly. What is visible and an unfortunate fact is that the wreck is diminishing as people are interested in it and parts of it are going missing.”
The Danube stood at 1.17 meters (3.8 feet) in Budapest on Tuesday, which compares with an all-time record low of around 0.4 meters (1.3 feet) registered in October 2018. During floods, the Danube rises well above 6 meters (19.7 feet).
“Eastern Europe is experiencing critical drought conditions that are affecting crops and vegetation,” the European climate service Copernicus said on its website in its latest drought report, published earlier this month.
Remember when Lady Gaga ‘bled’ onstage during her shocking performance at the 2009 VMAs?
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Singing about the perils of fame, being dragged out from beneath a fallen chandelier then bleeding to death in front of a roomful of celebrities: Lady Gaga was not shy about making her debut at the MTV Video Music Awards.
The year was 2009 — many will remember it as the year rapper Ye (formerly Kanye West) stage-crashed 19-year-old Taylor Swift and suggested her award for Best Female Video should have gone to Beyonce instead. But never one to be overshadowed, Lady Gaga, then 23, made some pop culture history of her own that night.
Her rendition of “Paparazzi” — lamenting both unrequited love and the sinister effects of hounding tabloids — has gone down in the mists of Gaga legend; not least because a lack of high-quality footage means fans must resort to watching grainy screen-recorded versions circulated on social media.
Over the limited number of pixels, Gaga can be seen at the start of the performance in an all-white ensemble: a bejeweled, asymmetric lace bodysuit and matching cape, thigh-high boots, a feathered Keko Hainswheeler headpiece and strings of glinting pearls. As she staggered back from her piano at the song’s crescendo, however, an audible gasp swept the room as thick blood suddenly appeared to be pouring from her abdomen.
“I’m your biggest fan, I’ll follow you until you love me,” Gaga wailed desperately, her once-pristine outfit now daubed in scarlet. She ended the number suspended above the stage, ‘dead,’ as more blood dripped from her eyes.
“(It) gives me chills every time I watch it,” Olivia Rodrigo told MTV in 2021. “I think Lady Gaga is the best performer of our generation.” The “Drivers License” singer appeared to take notes. At this year’s Grammy Awards, she began to ‘bleed’ from clenched fists while performing her hit “vampire,” spreading fake blood across her arms and neck as the song progressed.
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Mpox – formerly known as monkeypox – is a highly contagious disease and has killed at least 635 people in DR Congo this year.
Even though 200,000 vaccines, donated by the European Commission, were flown into the capital, Kinshasa, last week, they are yet to be transported across this vast country – and it could be several weeks before they reach South Kivu.
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Mpox – formerly known as monkeypox – is a highly contagious disease and has killed at least 635 people in DR Congo this year.
Even though 200,000 vaccines, donated by the European Commission, were flown into the capital, Kinshasa, last week, they are yet to be transported across this vast country – and it could be several weeks before they reach South Kivu.
“We’ve learned from social media that the vaccine is already available,” Emmanuel Fikiri, a nurse working at the clinic that has been turned into a specialist centre to tackle the virus, told the BBC.
He said this was the first time he had treated patients with mpox and every day he feared catching it and passing it on to his own children – aged seven, five and one.
“You saw how I touched the patients because that’s my job as a nurse. So, we’re asking the government to help us by first giving us the vaccines.”
The reason it will take time to transport the vaccines is that they need to be stored at a precise temperature – below freezing – to maintain their potency, plus they need to be sent to rural areas of South Kivu, like Kamituga, Kavumu and Lwiro, where the outbreak is rife.
The lack of infrastructure and bad roads mean that helicopters could possibly be used to drop some of the vaccines, which will further drive up costs in a country that is already struggling financially.
At the community clinic, Dr Pacifique Karanzo appeared fatigued and downbeat having been rushed off his feet all morning.
Although he wore a face shield, I could see the sweat running down his face. He said he was saddened to see patients sharing beds.
“You will even see that the patients are sleeping on the floor,” he told me, clearly exasperated.
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Mpox – formerly known as monkeypox – is a highly contagious disease and has killed at least 635 people in DR Congo this year.
Even though 200,000 vaccines, donated by the European Commission, were flown into the capital, Kinshasa, last week, they are yet to be transported across this vast country – and it could be several weeks before they reach South Kivu.
“We’ve learned from social media that the vaccine is already available,” Emmanuel Fikiri, a nurse working at the clinic that has been turned into a specialist centre to tackle the virus, told the BBC.
He said this was the first time he had treated patients with mpox and every day he feared catching it and passing it on to his own children – aged seven, five and one.
“You saw how I touched the patients because that’s my job as a nurse. So, we’re asking the government to help us by first giving us the vaccines.”
The reason it will take time to transport the vaccines is that they need to be stored at a precise temperature – below freezing – to maintain their potency, plus they need to be sent to rural areas of South Kivu, like Kamituga, Kavumu and Lwiro, where the outbreak is rife.
The lack of infrastructure and bad roads mean that helicopters could possibly be used to drop some of the vaccines, which will further drive up costs in a country that is already struggling financially.
At the community clinic, Dr Pacifique Karanzo appeared fatigued and downbeat having been rushed off his feet all morning.
Although he wore a face shield, I could see the sweat running down his face. He said he was saddened to see patients sharing beds.
“You will even see that the patients are sleeping on the floor,” he told me, clearly exasperated.
“The only support we have already had is a little medicine for the patients and water. As far as other challenges are concerned, there’s still no staff motivation.”
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At a treatment centre in South Kivu province that the BBC visited in the epicentre of the outbreak, they say more patients are arriving every day – especially babies – and there is a shortage of essential equipment.
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Mpox – formerly known as monkeypox – is a highly contagious disease and has killed at least 635 people in DR Congo this year.
Even though 200,000 vaccines, donated by the European Commission, were flown into the capital, Kinshasa, last week, they are yet to be transported across this vast country – and it could be several weeks before they reach South Kivu.
“We’ve learned from social media that the vaccine is already available,” Emmanuel Fikiri, a nurse working at the clinic that has been turned into a specialist centre to tackle the virus, told the BBC.
He said this was the first time he had treated patients with mpox and every day he feared catching it and passing it on to his own children – aged seven, five and one.
“You saw how I touched the patients because that’s my job as a nurse. So, we’re asking the government to help us by first giving us the vaccines.”
The reason it will take time to transport the vaccines is that they need to be stored at a precise temperature – below freezing – to maintain their potency, plus they need to be sent to rural areas of South Kivu, like Kamituga, Kavumu and Lwiro, where the outbreak is rife.
The lack of infrastructure and bad roads mean that helicopters could possibly be used to drop some of the vaccines, which will further drive up costs in a country that is already struggling financially.
At the community clinic, Dr Pacifique Karanzo appeared fatigued and downbeat having been rushed off his feet all morning.
Although he wore a face shield, I could see the sweat running down his face. He said he was saddened to see patients sharing beds.
“You will even see that the patients are sleeping on the floor,” he told me, clearly exasperated.
“The only support we have already had is a little medicine for the patients and water. As far as other challenges are concerned, there’s still no staff motivation.”
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Mpox – formerly known as monkeypox – is a highly contagious disease and has killed at least 635 people in DR Congo this year.
Even though 200,000 vaccines, donated by the European Commission, were flown into the capital, Kinshasa, last week, they are yet to be transported across this vast country – and it could be several weeks before they reach South Kivu.
“We’ve learned from social media that the vaccine is already available,” Emmanuel Fikiri, a nurse working at the clinic that has been turned into a specialist centre to tackle the virus, told the BBC.
He said this was the first time he had treated patients with mpox and every day he feared catching it and passing it on to his own children – aged seven, five and one.
“You saw how I touched the patients because that’s my job as a nurse. So, we’re asking the government to help us by first giving us the vaccines.”
The reason it will take time to transport the vaccines is that they need to be stored at a precise temperature – below freezing – to maintain their potency, plus they need to be sent to rural areas of South Kivu, like Kamituga, Kavumu and Lwiro, where the outbreak is rife.
The lack of infrastructure and bad roads mean that helicopters could possibly be used to drop some of the vaccines, which will further drive up costs in a country that is already struggling financially.
At the community clinic, Dr Pacifique Karanzo appeared fatigued and downbeat having been rushed off his feet all morning.
Although he wore a face shield, I could see the sweat running down his face. He said he was saddened to see patients sharing beds.
“You will even see that the patients are sleeping on the floor,” he told me, clearly exasperated.
“The only support we have already had is a little medicine for the patients and water. As far as other challenges are concerned, there’s still no staff motivation.”
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