Toxic Personalities in Dating: The Taker
August 10, 2010 by Thundercat
Filed under Analysis, Articles
Cameron has a pretty cool post up on his blog about a certain “Toxic Personality” type you should learn to spot and avoid if possible.
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Continuing in this series of toxic personality traits, we come to the examine the value taker. This is a trait exhibited by individuals who have a great propensity towards self-absorption and a lack of willingness to want to contribute.
To compound the above mentioned issues, these individuals also may display a bewildering sense of entitlement. I’ll explain that a bit later.
Like the complainer, the value-taker can become just as easy to spot, if you learn to know what to look for. To start identifying this trait, you just have to be aware of super basic tell-tale signs that give them away.
The most noticeable trait that is rather self evident is their complete disregard towards other people’s lives. You’ll quickly note their tendency to not ask any questions about you. When they do, it’s related to what they can siphon off for themselves. It’s not about showing any actual interest in you.
So let’s assume you’re at a party, and you run to such types. They’ll come into basic general varieties.
Type 1 : The Proverbial Gold-Digger who will dig for information: What do you drive? Do you own or rent? What kind of a job? They may not ask explicitly and blatantly, but they’ll try to investigate to discover this info.
Type II: Talk about themselves constantly. Sometimes it’s the gold digger trying to impress you. Having established you’re someone of value, she is going to want to make a good impression. The most fascinating part this is that her own gold-digging prowess is limited by her lack of social skills.
It’ll sound like this: “Oh, I just moved her from Chicago, ya know I just love Chicago, but I moved out here, then when I got here, blah, blah, blah,… (2 min later) then 3 weeks later when I was on this job, I heard that…. Blah, blah, blah…”
Their story is not anecdotal, nor does it have a point. It’s not meant to entertain you, (because that’d be actually contributing something to the interaction), nor is it in the spirit of sharing and establishing rapport between two individuals.
It’s just a person talking. It’s not whimsical, insightful, educational, anecdotal, humorous, or entertaining. Just random words thrown in the air that follow enough of a format where they seem to make somewhat coherent sentences in the English language. (or a foreign language for that matter.)
To go a step deeper, individuals with this toxic personality trait often display a sense of entitlement. For some reason, unbeknownst to the rest of humanity, these people feel that they’re entitled to certain things. For this reason, they’re the worst to deal with in any sort of relationship, be it friendships, business, or romantic.
You could easily gather a handful of various businessmen in a variety of industries and they could easily tell you the common behavioral patterns amongst problem customers who suffer from a sense of entitlement.
Let’s say you had some sort of a consulting service, and you’re one of the best at what you do. Your rates for services rendered are an even $100 per hour.
A healthy person would enjoy your services, thank you for a job well done, and refer many clients towards word of mouth.
A toxic “Entitled” person would stay a half hour over time squeezing more of your services and time, (now up to 90 minutes instead of 60), and then at the end of all that, try to negotiate to pay less than the usual 100-Dollar rate.
Worst case scenario: He wasted an extra half hour of your time, paid you less than your current rates, and then may still want a refund 3 weeks later. I have no respect for these types of people. They pull douchebag moves that are driven by their self-absorption and sense of entitlement.
As usual, this is not specific to gender. Both men and women can possess this toxic trait.
What you can do about it: Get the f*** away from such people.
Sometimes, just the questions they ask you reveal enough insight that enables you to distinguish the toxicity within their personalities. In business, it’s the difference between, “Wow, your rates are too steep man” versus “I can’t afford all of that right now. Is there something else I can do or offer to make up for it?”
The latter person wants to contribute. This in fact reminds me of a friend of mine who is a fantastic kickboxer. He charges a good rate for his hourly services, but then, every so often I’d find random dudes helping him in various endeavor.
Upon being asked regarding a guy helping him build a fence in his backyard, he responded, “Oh, that’s ‘John’. He can’t afford to pay me so I told him I’d teach him and he could help me build that fence.”
I told him it sounded like the Karate Kid movie all over again! He laughed and agreed.
The point is, “John” was willing to contribute but the dude simply couldn’t afford to pay the cash required. Was building a fence exact compensation? Nope, but it was enough of an effort that was worthy.
Will everyone be willing to do what my kickboxing teacher friend did? No, but you’ll find enough people who will help you if you are willing to CONTRIBUTE in whatever way you can.
The article is pretty good. I suggest you check out the full thing here. I guess its part of a series of people with “Toxic Personalities.” It can be hard to spot people who are “takers” sometimes because a skilled one will fool you into thinking they’re nice and cool, and you don’t realize they’re a complete douche until they’ve successfully screwed you over.
I’ve found the best way to deal with “Takers” is to have immense self respect. The more confident you are in yourself, the more you respect your own time and contributions to others, the harder it is for people to take advantage of you.
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Tourists fined and banned from Venice for swimming in canal
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A couple from the United Kingdom had to cut their vacation in Venice short after being caught swimming in the Grand Canal.
The 35-year-old British man and his 25-year-old Romanian girlfriend were forced to return to their home in the UK on Thursday, the same day they arrived in the city, after gondoliers reported them to local police for taking a dip in the canal.
The pair were fined €450 ($529) each and expelled from Venice for 48 hours, marking the 1,136th such sanction to be handed down to badly behaved tourists in the city so far this year, according to the Venice City Police.
The unnamed couple took the plunge near the Accademia bridge near St. Mark’s Square and gondoliers at the Rio San Vidal kiosk immediately called authorities, who removed them from the water.
“I thank the gondoliers for their cooperation and timely reporting,” said Venice Security Councillor Elisabetta Pesce in a statement published by city authorities on Friday.
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“Venice must be defended from those who disrespect it: protecting the city means ensuring decorum for residents and visitors who experience it with civility.”
Swimming in the Venice canals is prohibited for a variety of reasons, including the intense boat traffic and the cleanliness — or lack thereof — of the water, according to the city’s tourism ministry.
Of the 1,136 orders of expulsion from the city so far this year, about 10 were for swimming.
Related article
Tourists take photographs on the Rialto Bridge in Venice, Italy, on Saturday, April 8, 2023. Italy’s upcoming budget outlook will probably incorporate a higher growth forecast for 2023 followed by a worsened outlook for subsequent years, according to people familiar with the matter. Photographer: Andrea Merola/Bloomberg via Getty Images
Rising waters and overtourism are killing Venice. Now the fight is on to save its soul
“Since the beginning of the year, we have issued a total of 1,136 orders of expulsion for incidents of degradation and uncivilized behavior,” Venice local police deputy commander Gianni Franzoi said in a statement shared with CNN.
Poor visitor behavior is one of the worst byproducts of overtourism, Franzoi said, and incidents are on the rise.
In July 2024, an Australian man was fined and expelled for diving off the Rialto Bridge after his friends posted about it on social media.
The year before, two French tourists were fined and expelled for skinny dipping in the canal under the moonlight. In August 2022, a German man was fined and expelled for surfing in the canal.
Related article
Aerial view of the plagued ghost island of Poveglia in the Venetian lagoon
‘Haunted’ Venice island to become a locals-only haven where tourists are banned
Venice’s authorities have been trying to balance the need for visitor income with residents’ demands for a city that works for them.
Day trippers now pay a €10 entrance fee on summer weekends and during busy periods throughout the year.
The city has also banned tour groups of more than 25 people, loudspeakers and megaphones, and even standing on narrow streets to listen to tour guides.
“It was necessary to establish a system of penalties that would effectively deter potential violations,” Pesce said when the ordinance was passed in February.
“Our goal remains to combat all forms of irregularities related to overtourism in the historic lagoon city center,” she added.
“The new rules for groups accompanied by guides encourage a more sustainable form of tourism, while also ensuring greater protection and safety in the city and better balancing the needs of Venice residents and visitors.”
Tourists fined and banned from Venice for swimming in canal
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A couple from the United Kingdom had to cut their vacation in Venice short after being caught swimming in the Grand Canal.
The 35-year-old British man and his 25-year-old Romanian girlfriend were forced to return to their home in the UK on Thursday, the same day they arrived in the city, after gondoliers reported them to local police for taking a dip in the canal.
The pair were fined €450 ($529) each and expelled from Venice for 48 hours, marking the 1,136th such sanction to be handed down to badly behaved tourists in the city so far this year, according to the Venice City Police.
The unnamed couple took the plunge near the Accademia bridge near St. Mark’s Square and gondoliers at the Rio San Vidal kiosk immediately called authorities, who removed them from the water.
“I thank the gondoliers for their cooperation and timely reporting,” said Venice Security Councillor Elisabetta Pesce in a statement published by city authorities on Friday.
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“Venice must be defended from those who disrespect it: protecting the city means ensuring decorum for residents and visitors who experience it with civility.”
Swimming in the Venice canals is prohibited for a variety of reasons, including the intense boat traffic and the cleanliness — or lack thereof — of the water, according to the city’s tourism ministry.
Of the 1,136 orders of expulsion from the city so far this year, about 10 were for swimming.
Related article
Tourists take photographs on the Rialto Bridge in Venice, Italy, on Saturday, April 8, 2023. Italy’s upcoming budget outlook will probably incorporate a higher growth forecast for 2023 followed by a worsened outlook for subsequent years, according to people familiar with the matter. Photographer: Andrea Merola/Bloomberg via Getty Images
Rising waters and overtourism are killing Venice. Now the fight is on to save its soul
“Since the beginning of the year, we have issued a total of 1,136 orders of expulsion for incidents of degradation and uncivilized behavior,” Venice local police deputy commander Gianni Franzoi said in a statement shared with CNN.
Poor visitor behavior is one of the worst byproducts of overtourism, Franzoi said, and incidents are on the rise.
In July 2024, an Australian man was fined and expelled for diving off the Rialto Bridge after his friends posted about it on social media.
The year before, two French tourists were fined and expelled for skinny dipping in the canal under the moonlight. In August 2022, a German man was fined and expelled for surfing in the canal.
Related article
Aerial view of the plagued ghost island of Poveglia in the Venetian lagoon
‘Haunted’ Venice island to become a locals-only haven where tourists are banned
Venice’s authorities have been trying to balance the need for visitor income with residents’ demands for a city that works for them.
Day trippers now pay a €10 entrance fee on summer weekends and during busy periods throughout the year.
The city has also banned tour groups of more than 25 people, loudspeakers and megaphones, and even standing on narrow streets to listen to tour guides.
“It was necessary to establish a system of penalties that would effectively deter potential violations,” Pesce said when the ordinance was passed in February.
“Our goal remains to combat all forms of irregularities related to overtourism in the historic lagoon city center,” she added.
“The new rules for groups accompanied by guides encourage a more sustainable form of tourism, while also ensuring greater protection and safety in the city and better balancing the needs of Venice residents and visitors.”
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Dr. Jake Scott is on the front line of his second pandemic in five years and he is not getting much sleep.
Scott works full-time as an infectious disease physician at Stanford Health Care’s Tri-Valley hospital in Pleasanton, California. When he is done taking care of his patients and his two grade-school aged kids, he often stays up past midnight writing — furiously penning op-eds, collecting studies, leading evidence reviews and posting meaty threads on social media, most of them correcting the record on vaccines.
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Often, he’s reacting to the latest maneuvers by US Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr.. A pinned post responding to one of Kennedy’s appearances on Fox News has been viewed almost 5 million times. Another post fact-checking Kennedy’s claims about potential harms from aluminum in vaccines had 1 million views in its first 48 hours. Scott’s followers on X have doubled since April.
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“A million views for this long-winded, very detailed, kind of nerdy breakdown of the science,” Scott said, marveling at the attention it got. “I think that’s saying something, you know? People want that information, and they deserve it,” said Scott who is 48.
The Covid-19 pandemic turned many infectious disease specialists and virologists into household names. Scott’s was not one of them, perhaps because he was too busy treating patients. He didn’t stay out of the public discourse completely, however. He was one of the first doctors to tell people that Omicron didn’t seem to be as severe an infection as earlier strains of the virus, although some virologists were skeptical at the time.
In President Donald Trump’s second administration, however, Scott is taking on what he sees as a second pandemic — misinformation and disinformation about vaccines. He knows false information can be as harmful as any virus.
“When officials spread inaccurate information about vaccines, it does have real consequences, and families make decisions based on fear rather than on facts,” Scott said.
It’s already happening. The US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention recently reported data showing kindergarten vaccination rates continue to decline, as states make it easier to opt out of school vaccination requirements. Vaccine preventable diseases like measles and whooping cough are rising again, too.
Scott knows it could get much worse.
“In 2021, nearly every single patient I lost to Covid was unvaccinated by choice, and every colleague of mine has said the same thing.”
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Target is in trouble. And while it’s easy to get lost in the company’s recent (poor) handling of American culture war narratives that cast it as too “woke” or too willing to cave to online fascists, the root of Target’s problems runs deep.
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Don’t get me wrong – the massive consumer boycotts from Black organizers have done damage. And there are probably folks on the far right who think even Target’s toned-down, overwhelmingly beige Pride merch this year was still too loud.
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But its stock is in the gutter and sales have been falling for two years because of good ol’ business fundamentals. It overstocked. It lost the pulse of its customers. It went up against Amazon Prime with… actually, does anyone know what Target’s Amazon Prime competitor is called?
The brand we petite bourgeoisie once playfully referred to as Tar-zhay has lost its spark. The company reported a decline in sales for a third-straight quarter, part of a broader trend of falling or flat sales for two years. Employees have lost confidence in the company’s direction. And 2025 has been a particularly rough financially, as Black shoppers organized a boycott over Target’s decision to cave to right-wing pressure on diverse hiring goals.
Shares were down 10% Wednesday.
It’s not to say the new guy, Michael Fiddelke, is unqualified. He’s been at Target since he started as an intern more than 20 years ago, after all. But Wall Street is clearly concerned that Target’s leadership is underestimating the severity of the need for a significant change— just as President Donald Trump’s tariffs on imported goods threaten the entire retail industry.
Appointing a company lifer “does not necessarily remedy the problems of entrenched groupthink and the inward-looking mindset that have plagued Target for years,” Neil Saunders, an analyst at GlobalData Retail, said in a note to clients Wednesday.
Missing the mark
In its 2010s heyday, Target became a go-to for consumers who liked a bargain but didn’t necessarily like bargain-hunting. The shelves felt well-curated. You’d go to Target because it had one thing you needed and 12 things you didn’t know you needed. It was stocked with Millennial cringe long before Gen Z gave us the term Millennial cringe.
Target’s sales held strong through the pandemic as remote workers set up home offices and stocked up on essentials. Months of lockdown also benefited the store as people began refreshing their spaces because they didn’t really have much else to do and they were staring at the same walls all the time.
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The directives largely roll back efforts made over the last decade attempting to eradicate toxic culture in the military, both to decrease harmful behaviors like harassment, but also to meet practical needs of getting people in uniform and keeping them there longer as the military branches faced years of struggles filling the ranks.
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Many major reforms were described by the officials who implemented them as driven by that need; when former Defense Secretary Ash Carter opened up combat roles to women in 2015, he said the military “cannot afford to cut ourselves off from half the country’s talents and skills” if it wanted to succeed in national defense.
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And while the military had made changes in recent years in an attempt to lessen instances of harassment, discrimination or toxic leadership by creating reporting mechanisms so that troops would come forward, Hegseth said those efforts went too far and were undercutting commanders.
“The definition of ‘toxic’ has been turned upside down, and we’re correcting that,” Hegseth vowed on Tuesday, adding that the Defense Department would be undertaking a review of words like “hazing” and “bullying” which he said had been “weaponized.”
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The Oktoberfest beer festival in Munich will remain shut on Wednesday until at least 5 pm (1500 GMT) after police said they discovered explosives in a residential building in the north of the city that caught fire and left one person dead.
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As part of a major operation that police earlier said posed no danger to the public, special forces were investigating an area in the north of Munich where Bild newspaper and multiple other reports said shots and explosions had been heard.
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Special forces had to be brought in to defuse booby traps found in the building, according to police.
“We are currently investigating all possibilities. Possible connections to other locations in Munich are being examined, including the Theresienwiese (where the Oktoberfest is located),” said Munich police on the WhatsApp messaging service.
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Disney made a smart choice’
Despite the comparisons, Abu Dhabi isn’t positioning itself as a direct rival to Orlando — it’s aiming to be something more. The emirate sees its theme parks as part of a bigger portfolio of attractions, alongside cultural landmarks, luxury hotels, pristine beaches, and desert adventures.
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A 15-minute drive from Yas Island, Saadiyat Island is home to the Louvre Abu Dhabi, a franchised outpost of the famous Paris art museum, which welcomed 1.4 million visitors last year, 84% from abroad. The Guggenheim Abu Dhabi and Zayed National Museum are both under construction, adding to a cultural district that will be one of the region’s most concentrated hubs of art and heritage.
“Abu Dhabi’s unique appeal lies in the diversity of our tourism offering,” Al Geziry added. “For thrill-seekers, we have record-breaking roller coasters and dune bashing in the desert. For culture lovers, historic sites like Al Ain Oasis and institutions like the Saadiyat museums. And for luxury travelers, world-class dining, private island resorts, and high-end shopping.
“Where else can you start your day under the Louvre’s iconic rain-of-light dome and end it in the immersive, story-driven worlds of Warner Bros. World or Ferrari World?”
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Still, not everyone is convinced that Disney’s expansion into the Middle East is a sure bet.
“The region has seen its share of false starts,” says Dennis Speigel, founder of the International Theme Park Services consultancy, comparing it to neighboring Dubai’s patchy record with theme park expansion ambitions in the mid-2010s. “Several of them struggled for profitability in their first decade.”
Related article
Saadiyat Cultural District in Abu Dhabi is set to become one of the world’s preeminent arts and culture hubs, with one of the highest concentrations of cultural institutions globally. But the area isn’t just for art connoisseurs. Explore what to do in the new district, from iconic museums to luxurious beach days to decadent dining options.
You can walk between the Louvre and the Guggenheim in this new art district
Spiegel believes Abu Dhabi is different. “Disney made a smart choice. The infrastructure, safety, and existing leisure developments create an ideal entry point,” he told CNN earlier this year. “It’s a much more controlled and calculated move.”
Under its Tourism Strategy 2030, Abu Dhabi aims to grow annual visitors from 24 million in 2023 to more than 39 million by the end of the decade. With Disneyland as a centerpiece, those targets may well be surpassed. The city’s population has already grown from 2.7 million in 2014 to more than 4.1 million today, a reflection of its rising profile as a regional hub.
Yas Island alone has been transformed in the space of a decade from a largely undeveloped stretch of sand to a self-contained resort destination, complete with golf courses, marinas, a mall, more than 160 restaurants, and a cluster of high-end hotels.
Orlando’s head start remains formidable — it still offers multiple Disney and Universal parks, has decades of brand loyalty, and an infrastructure built to handle tens of millions of tourists annually.
But Abu Dhabi is catching up fast. Its combination of frictionless travel, year-round comfort, cutting-edge attractions, and a cultural scene that adds depth to the experience gives Abu Dhabi its own unique selling point, potentially offering a model for the next generation of theme park capital.
From beaches to golf courses: The world’s most unusual airport runways
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When it comes to travel, wherever you are in the world, some things never change. McDonald’s is always McDonald’s. A hotel lobby is always a hotel lobby. An inflight safety demonstration is always a safety demonstration, and an airport runway is an airport runway: a long, clean-lined strip of asphalt free of all external interference; a sterile environment that could be anywhere on the planet.
Or maybe not. Because when it comes to airport runways, once the safety side is taken care of, in a few parts of the world, things get a little inventive. Maybe you’ll land on a manmade island in the middle of the sea. Maybe you’ll wave at golfers on the 18-hole course between the two runways. Or maybe you’ll hit the beach faster than expected — by stepping off the airplane onto the sand.
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From runways you can drive across to weird and wonderful airport locations, here are 12 of our favorite out-there runways.
Barra Airport, Scotland (BRR)
If nothing comes between you and your beach break, then Barra, in Scotland’s Outer Hebrides, is your kind of airport. This is the only place in the world where the runway is on the beach itself.
Just one flight route operates here: Loganair’s 140-mile connection with Glasgow, using 19-seater de Havilland Canada DHC-6 Twin Otter aircraft. Pilots heading to Barra — an island just eight miles long — must line up and touch down on Traigh Mhor, a wide bay in the north of the island (if Barra is shaped like a turtle, Traigh Mhor is its neck), landing straight onto the sand. Flights must be timed with the tides to allow as much space to land and take off as possible.
Passengers walk across the beach to the terminal on the other side of the dunes, then get a last bit of sand underfoot as they board the aircraft for the flight back to the mainland. With these conditions, it’s little wonder that flights are canceled with a fair amount of regularity — so you may want to build in extra time before planning onward connections.
But even a delayed return is worth it for avgeeks. On this tiny plane, passengers experience the flight in close proximity to the pilots — when CNN took a spin on the flight in 2019, they could even see the pilot’s GPS instruments from their seat.
Related article
A lead photo of various travel products that can help pass time in airports
CNN Underscored: Flight delayed? These 14 products will help you pass the time at the airport
Hong Kong International Airport (HKG)
In Hong Kong, the islet of Chek Lap Kok was massively extended to create an island big enough to house a major international airport.
In Hong Kong, the islet of Chek Lap Kok was massively extended to create an island big enough to house a major international airport. d3sign/Moment RF/Getty Images
For the busiest cargo airport in the world, you need space. Luckily, Hong Kong created an entire island for its airport which, when it opened, had the world’s largest passenger terminal, too. Built to replace its predecessor (a single runway in crowded Kowloon, which was notorious for its violent turns on take-off and landing), HKG sits over the original islet of Chek Lap Kok, which was quadrupled in size with reclaimed land to house the two-runway airport. President Bill Clinton was among the first foreigners to touch down after the airport opened in 1998.
Located next to Lantau Island, the airport has views for days — the sides of the terminals are largely glass, built to shatter (and therefore preserve the building) during potential typhoons. Even getting there is a treat — the 1.4-mile Tsing Ma bridge, which connects HKG to Ma Wan island, heading towards the city, debuted as the longest road-and-rail suspension bridge in the world.
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The trial of Bryan Kohberger – the man who brutally murdered four University of Idaho students inside their off-campus home – ended in July before it ever truly began when he accepted a plea deal that saw him sentenced to four consecutive life terms in prison without the possibility of an appeal or parole.
Kohberger sat impassively throughout the hearing as the loved ones of each of the four students whose lives he so callously ended repeatedly asked him the same question: Why?
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And when he was finally given the opportunity to answer their questions, he said, “I respectfully decline.”
That decision further fueled the mystery around his motive for murdering Xana Kernodle, Madison Mogen, Ethan Chapin and Kaylee Goncalves.
“There’s no reason for these crimes that could approach anything resembling rationality,” Idaho District Judge Steven Hippler said during Kohberger’s sentencing. “The more we try to extract a reason, the more power and control we give to him.”
But, he added, investigators and researchers may wish to study his actions – if only to learn how to prevent similar crimes from occurring in the future.
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Indeed, academics and former FBI profilers told CNN the challenge of unravelling the criminal mind of a man like Bryan Kohberger is enticing. And while his trial may be over, in many ways, the story of what can be learned from his crimes may have only just begun.
“We want to squeeze any silver lining that we can out of these tragedies,” said Molly Amman, a retired profiler who spent years leading the FBI’s Behavioral Threat Assessment Center.
“The silver lining is anything we can use to prevent another crime. It starts with learning absolutely, positively everything about the person and the crime that we possibly can.”
CNN
Only Kohberger knows
Even seasoned police officers who arrived at 1122 King Road on November 13, 2022, struggled to process the brutality of the crime scene.
All four victims had been ruthlessly stabbed to death before the attacker vanished through the kitchen’s sliding glass door and into the night.
“The female lying on the left half of the bed … was unrecognizable,” one officer would later write of the attack that killed Kaylee Goncalves. “I was unable to comprehend exactly what I was looking at while trying to discern the nature of the injuries.”
Initial interviews with the two surviving housemates gave investigators a loose timeline and a general description of the killer – an athletic, White male who wore a mask that covered most of his face – but little else.
Police later found a Ka-Bar knife sheath next to Madison’s body that would prove to be critical in capturing her killer.
One of the surviving housemates told police about a month before the attacks, Kaylee saw “a dark figure staring at her from the tree line when she took her dog Murphy out to pee.”
“There has been lighthearted talk and jokes made about a stalker in the past,” the officer noted. “All the girls were slightly nervous about it being a fact, though.”
But after years of investigating the murders, detectives told CNN they were never able to establish a connection between Kohberger and any of the victims, or a motive.
Kohberger is far from the first killer to deny families and survivors the catharsis that comes with confessing, in detail, to his crimes. But that, former FBI profilers tell CNN, is part of what makes the prospect of studying him infuriating and intriguing.
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