An Approach to Approach Anxiety
January 26, 2009 by AFCAdam
Filed under AFCAdam, Articles, Featured, Guest Authors
Hey Guys,
For the new year I thought I’d tackle one of the first problems people experience within game and slowly move through the topics throughout the rest of 2009.
Are you afraid of approaching someone you like through a fear of rejection?
Do you get that horrible feeling in your stomach and begin to formulate 100 reasons why someone wouldn’t want to talk to you?
This is a lot more common than you would believe. There are a number of different products out there which will supposedly “fix” the fear of approaching strangers, especially ones you are attracted to. However, few of them take the time to understand why we have that fear in the first place. If you understand why you have this fear or anxiety, you can take steps to counter it. This is probably the biggest topic when it comes to understanding attraction. Well, that is to say, it is the one that most people have the biggest problem with. I constantly receive the same excuses time and time again when it comes to this subject.
1) I’m scared of approaching
2) I have a fear of rejection
3) They aren’t in the mood to be spoken to
4) She won’t think I look good enough
5) I can’t meet people in a park/cinema/night club
6) I’m not good enough for him/her
7) There’s no point, it won’t work
These are probably the most common reasons I am given as to why someone can’t approach, or the feeling that is preventing them from approaching. The fact that these are so prevalent is because they are all based on very real psychological factors to do with learning and behaviour.
Anxiety is defined by Seligman, Walker and Rosenhan (2001) as a physiological state characterized by cognitive, somatic, emotional, and behavioral components. These factors essentially make up the feelings that we experience as fear, apprehension, and worry.
There are some physical sensations that you will probably be aware of such as heart palpitations, nausea, chest pain, shortness of breath, sweaty palms, shaking and perhaps headaches. These may be common to you. Some people will disguise these by making a decision not to approach. This will relieve the sensations and instead leave a sort of “numbness” to the situation.
Sigmund Freud himself believed that these anxious feelings were created by an association between a past negative experience and the current situation. These associations are often false and not related through causality – the idea that one situation directly affects another, but through correlation – one thing “tends to affect another over repeated attempts.”
When people begin to see this correlation as a fact, it is commonly referred to as “Magical Thinking.”
There are two governing principles behind magical thinking. The first is the law of similarity which is the notion that things that resemble each other are casually connected in some way that defies scientific testing.
For example:
Here people will typically see vertical columns of squares and circles as opposed to horizontal mixed rows of squares and circles.
The second law is the law of contagion which is the belief that “things that have been in physical contact or in spatial or temporal association with other things retain a connection after they are separated.” Contagion effects have been noted to be more effective with negative associations than with positive ones. This is probably best explained by the notion of getting “bad luck” or having a bad time every time you go to a specific venue.
Freud believed that the anxiety or fear was maintained through a form operant conditioning. Essentially the feeling of anxiety is reinforced every time you are in a similar situation. You then “learn” to remove the negative feeling of anxiety by not approaching. These connections of patterns, or “magical thinking,” are common throughout all the human societies across the world. The human brain is adept at forming these patterns, though we do not have a particularly good system for distinguishing between real and perceived connections. Theoretically this is due to a simple survival tactic. If we notice rustling behind a bush it is better for us to assume it is some form of threat and begin to prep our bodies to defend ourselves rather than ignore it and risk being eaten.
Our fear or anxiety response is actually designed to help us survive in a fight or flight scenario. Believe it or not the symptoms detailed earlier are all beneficial to us in times of survival. Perspiration occurs to help cool us down, heart rate increases to improve blood circulation and muscles tighten as they are filled with oxygen in preparation for use. Unfortunately these are not particularly beneficial when we are looking for something witty to say during a conversation with someone.
In short we learn the fear through a number of negative experiences and then reinforce them by not doing anything about it. The bodies natural reaction towards a fearful situation is the feeling we associate with approach anxiety or the fear of the approach. The way to overcome this is to reverse the learning.
All of the common problems detailed above can be directly related to either “magical thinking” in the form of a false belief that failure is almost certain due to some form of connection to a previous situation that failed. Or pure fear learnt and reinforced by not approaching. These are both forms of self fulfilled prophecy i.e. Unless you actively do something to fix it they will continue to support themselves. The good news is that this problem is far from unfixable.
The bad news is that it does take time. The easiest way to fix this is to actually go out and meet new people. The problem is that when you do this, any negative experience you receive is likely to reinforce the previous attitude or fear you had before. As I’ve mentioned before one of the easiest ways to get around this is to simply meet people for the sake of meeting people.
Most of us are actually more than happy to talk to other people, especially on boring long journeys, or when waiting in a long queue. Get used to talking to absolutely everybody, male or female, young and old. This should help you generate a great deal of positive responses to your approaches and help curb some of those negative connections.
I hope this helps guys,
Adam Lyons
(AFC Adam)
Jsehbv on 
RalphAlalp on 
Jtwyjd on 
Qtrdmt on 
XRumer23Seami on 
buy semaglutide 14 mg sale – purchase rybelsus pills buy DDAVP
https://canadaph24.pro/# canada pharmacy online
lamisil pill – griseofulvin sale buy generic griseofulvin online
http://mexicoph24.life/# mexican pharmacy
order lamisil without prescription – where to buy lamisil without a prescription grifulvin v drug
https://indiaph24.store/# indian pharmacy online
generic lamisil 250mg – buy fulvicin pills for sale griseofulvin pills
https://canadaph24.pro/# canadian king pharmacy
hello!,I like your writing so much! proportion we keep in touch more approximately your post on AOL?
I require a specialist in this house to solve my problem.
Maybe that is you! Looking ahead to peer you.
https://canadaph24.pro/# best canadian pharmacy online
https://indiaph24.store/# india pharmacy mail order
pet meds without vet prescription canada: Licensed Canadian Pharmacy – safe canadian pharmacy
order rybelsus 14mg pills – cheap desmopressin desmopressin drug
zofran route of administration
http://indiaph24.store/# top online pharmacy india
http://indiaph24.store/# buy medicines online in india
largestcatbreed.com
Zhu Houzhao는 그의 코를 만졌습니다. “그럼 산책에 동행하겠습니다.”
http://indiaph24.store/# reputable indian pharmacies
Wow that was strange. I just wrote an incredibly long
comment but after I clicked submit my comment didn’t appear.
Grrrr… well I’m not writing all that over again. Anyway, just wanted to say superb blog!
buy generic terbinafine over the counter – buy generic diflucan 200mg buy grifulvin v without a prescription
http://indiaph24.store/# Online medicine home delivery
best rated canadian pharmacy: Certified Canadian Pharmacies – best mail order pharmacy canada
buy lamisil 250mg pills – order lamisil 250mg sale griseofulvin pills
buy rybelsus paypal – buy DDAVP online order DDAVP online
rybelsus 14 mg generic – oral rybelsus DDAVP sale
http://canadaph24.pro/# prescription drugs canada buy online
https://indiaph24.store/# Online medicine home delivery
Мы компания специалистов по SEO-оптимизации, специализирующихся на увеличении трафика и повышении рейтинга вашего сайта в поисковых системах.
Мы постигли успехи в своей области и предлагаем вам воспользоваться нашим опытом и знаниями.
Какие возможности открываются перед вами:
• [url=https://seo-prodvizhenie-ulyanovsk1.ru/]seo оптимизация сайта заказать[/url]
• Подробный анализ вашего сайта и создание персонализированной стратегии продвижения.
• Повышение эффективности контента и технических аспектов вашего сайта.
• Постоянное отслеживание результатов и анализ вашего онлайн-присутствия с целью его совершенствования.
Подробнее [url=https://seo-prodvizhenie-ulyanovsk1.ru/]https://seo-prodvizhenie-ulyanovsk1.ru/[/url]
У наших клиентов уже есть результаты: рост посещаемости, улучшение позиций в поисковых системах и, конечно, рост бизнеса. Мы предлагаем бесплатную консультацию, чтобы обсудить ваши потребности и помочь вам разработать стратегию продвижения, соответствующую вашим целям и бюджету.
Не упустите возможность улучшить свой бизнес в онлайн-мире. Свяжитесь с нами прямо сейчас.
https://indiaph24.store/# online pharmacy india
https://mexicoph24.life/# mexican pharmaceuticals online
canadian pharmacy: Licensed Canadian Pharmacy – buy drugs from canada
top 10 pharmacies in india https://indiaph24.store/# pharmacy website india
top 10 online pharmacy in india
http://indiaph24.store/# world pharmacy india
http://mexicoph24.life/# pharmacies in mexico that ship to usa
https://indiaph24.store/# cheapest online pharmacy india
nizoral 200 mg uk – nizoral online buy sporanox 100 mg generic
usareallservice.com
いつも素晴らしい情報を提供してくれてありがとうございます。
http://mexicoph24.life/# medication from mexico pharmacy
cougarsbkjersey.com
非常にインスピレーションを受ける記事でした。素晴らしい！
mexican online pharmacies prescription drugs: medicine in mexico pharmacies – mexican mail order pharmacies
https://indiaph24.store/# best online pharmacy india
https://canadaph24.pro/# the canadian pharmacy
http://canadaph24.pro/# best online canadian pharmacy
famciclovir 500mg brand – valcivir online buy order valcivir 500mg for sale
where to buy famvir without a prescription – valaciclovir 500mg tablet valaciclovir 1000mg pills
Hi there friends, how is everything, and what you would like to say regarding this paragraph, in my view its actually
awesome for me.
famvir 250mg without prescription – order famciclovir generic order valaciclovir 500mg online
https://canadaph24.pro/# canadian online pharmacy
27-го июля был проведён первый тест эффективности [url=http://www.botmasterru.com/product109120/]XRumer 23 StrongAI[/url] (по сравнению с текущей версией XRumer 19.0.18), который показал двадцатикратный прирост. Столь впечатляющие результаты достигнуты благодаря многократному улучшению пробиваемости уже известных платформ, добавлению поддержки новых платформ, обучению сотням тысяч типов новых тексткапч, внедрению нового GPT-модуля, и множеству других улучшений. По ссылке ниже Вы сможете изучить и скачать детали теста (исходная база, кусок отчёта, статистику и другие подробности)
Спасибо за рефку:
http://www.botmasterru.com/product109120/
order nizoral online – lotrisone over the counter sporanox usa