The Truth About NEGs
January 23, 2008 by Thundercat
Filed under Rants & Reviews
All right…
Yesterday I posted a funny video that parodied Mystery and how he teaches to use "NEGs" to pickup girls.
It’s funny, because I remember Neil telling me that when he went on his book tour for The Game, the press mostly asked him about "NEGs." I also recently ran into a group of people who, when they found out I teach dating advice for men, instantly brought up this idea of what a NEG is…
And not surprisingly, people tend to have the wrong idea about NEGs and how they’re used. So I just wanted to take a few minutes and explain the true nature of NEGs.
First of all, I want to dispel the myth that NEGs are insults. If you flat out insult a girl, she’s not going to like you. So going up to a girl and instantly ragging on her by making fun of how she looks or what she’s wearing or calling her names is a BAD IDEA.
Mystery doesn’t do that. Style doesn’t do that. Only men who don’t understand what a NEG is do that.
So let’s explain what a NEG really is, so we can have a better understanding of how to use it.
A NEG is simply a way of lowering someone else’s value. It was developed because PUAs were dealing with a lot of girls in clubs who had higher status than they did – and it’s very hard to pick up a girl who has more value than you do.
A hot girl in a club will be surrounded by "satellites" (other loser guys trying to sleep with her). She’ll also have tons of shlubs approaching her all night long trying to get into her panties. When you’re a pick-up artist, and you try approaching a girl who’s surrounded by the adulation of other men, how do you stand out? How do you deal with a girl who can pick and choose whatever guy she wants?
The answer, of course, is to DE-VALUE her, and either become higher status, or level the playing field.
That is what the NEG was meant for.
A NEG (or "backhanded compliment") was developed as a way for the PUA to display his value, stand out from the other losers, and lower the girl’s value so that his target would see him as an equal or a superior. After all, women have a hard time, in general, being attracted to men they feel superior to.
This doesn’t entail calling the girl a "bitch" or making fun of how she dresses, or whatever. It’s about letting her know she’s not as "hot" as she thinks she is.
Think of a stripper in a strip club…
An average girl can go into a strip club, get dolled up, get tons of male attention, and be treated like a super-hot girl. In this situation, the girl has a heightened sense of value. Tons of guys want her, she has the power to choose, therefor, the men become the "beggars."
What happens in a regular club is very similar for some girls. In a club, they can get a bloated sense of self-worth. So to have a chance, you need to bring her back to reality by showing you aren’t impressed with her. A good NEG simply points out an insecurity the girl has, because that reminds her she’s not the "goddess" she might think she is.
But the other problem with NEGs is that guys use them when they shouldn’t!
Most women DON’T have a bloated sense of self worth, and don’t feel they’re high value – even if they are incredibly attractive. Yet guys will still NEG them.
What does this do?
It repels the girl because the NEG either insults them or lowers their value TOO much. The ideal situation is to have just a *little* more value than the girl you’re trying to pick up.
The idea that you have to NEG every girl is just stupid. Even if you’re in a club, you don’t have to NEG a girl. You need to get a sense of what your value is, compared to hers, before you decide to toss a NEG her way.
When used right, a NEG is not a mean or bad thing. It is just another PUA tool to help level the playing field and make it easier for men to pick up women.
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Great explanantion!
Terrible explanation, and not even really true. All a neg is is a way to show ACTIVE disinterest. You don’t need to pick at her insecurities and be an asshole like Thundy states. For example, blowing your nose in front of a girl would be one form of a neg. Or saying, “too bad I’m gay or you’d be so my type.” would be another.
Guesty, you have no idea what a NEG really is. Blowing your nose in front of a girl or calling yourself gay are all demonstrations of LOWER value. Those are actual SELF negs, because you’re knocking your value down.
Negs are about lowering the girl’s value, not yourself.
Personally, I don’t think you need to use negs except in certain special situations where you’re dealing with super-hot girls in high value situations, like clubs. But I actually rarely, if ever, use negs.
Thundercat
Thundy, you have no idea what a NEG is at all.
Yeah, honestly – it doesn’t sound like you fully understand what negs are about.
Did you actually read Mystery’s material Thundercat?
Mystery himself talks about blowing your nose in front of a set as being a neg of sorts (disqualifier). Negs are a form of a disqualifier – and they aren’t all “backhanded compliments”.
Like saying “too bad I’m gay” (who do you think made that one up…?), or “you don’t get out much do you?”, or etc.
Both of those things that you just spoke against are on the same page in Mystery’s book :-/
Actually Thundercat nailed what a neg is. Though the self neg is a good thing not a bad thing. Harmless self destruction is sexy. I agree that you should not blow your nose in front of a woman and hand her the handkerchief per mystery. I further agree with Thundercat in that negs are near wholly unnecessary. Though they can be really fun.
The thing is, the MM camp now rolls disqualification theory and negs in the same bundle. So while blowing your nose is a subtle disqualifier, it’s still technically a “negative statement” because it conveys that she isn’t particularly special.
right folks do me a favour im quite new at this and although im quite good at getting girls learning new stuff is good, i just thought a neg was short for neglect so just show dissinterest or give a lesser or negetive attention to the target without insulting them…
Thundy is talking about sniper negs. Neg theory in general has been redefined by Mystery as disqualification theory and encompasses both general disqualifiers (blowing one’s nose, aka the “shotgun” neg) as well as the aforementioned sniper neg (and the tease neg).
The biggest thing to note is that negs are NOT insults. A neg is simply anything one does to show that he is not a potential suitor.
a neg is just a subtle backhanded compliment to put her back into her place or knock her off her pedestal. I would only use it if the women is acting bitchy/aloof/arrogant.
The way I do it, is to call her on it as it puts her in the defensive
Honesty is the best policy:
ex: ” are you always bitchy like that, or are you trying to impress me ?”
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