The Truth About NEGs

All right…

Yesterday I posted a funny video that parodied Mystery and how he teaches to use "NEGs" to pickup girls.

It’s funny, because I remember Neil telling me that when he went on his book tour for The Game, the press mostly asked him about "NEGs."  I also recently ran into a group of people who, when they found out I teach dating advice for men, instantly brought up this idea of what a NEG is…

And not surprisingly, people tend to have the wrong idea about NEGs and how they’re used.  So I just wanted to take a few minutes and explain the true nature of NEGs.

First of all, I want to dispel the myth that NEGs are insults.  If you flat out insult a girl, she’s not going to like you.  So going up to a girl and instantly ragging on her by making fun of how she looks or what she’s wearing or calling her names is a BAD IDEA.

Mystery doesn’t do that.  Style doesn’t do that.  Only men who don’t understand what a NEG is do that.

So let’s explain what a NEG really is, so we can have a better understanding of how to use it.

A NEG is simply a way of lowering someone else’s value.  It was developed because PUAs were dealing with a lot of girls in clubs who had higher status than they did – and it’s very hard to pick up a girl who has more value than you do.

A hot girl in a club will be surrounded by "satellites" (other loser guys trying to sleep with her).  She’ll also have tons of shlubs approaching her all night long trying to get into her panties.  When you’re a pick-up artist, and you try approaching a girl who’s surrounded by the adulation of other men, how do you stand out?  How do you deal with a girl who can pick and choose whatever guy she wants?

The answer, of course, is to DE-VALUE her, and either become higher status, or level the playing field.

That is what the NEG was meant for.

A NEG (or "backhanded compliment") was developed as a way for the PUA to display his value, stand out from the other losers, and lower the girl’s value so that his target would see him as an equal or a superior.  After all, women have a hard time, in general, being attracted to men they feel superior to.

This doesn’t entail calling the girl a "bitch" or making fun of how she dresses, or whatever.  It’s about letting her know she’s not as "hot" as she thinks she is.

Think of a stripper in a strip club…

An average girl can go into a strip club, get dolled up, get tons of male attention, and be treated like a super-hot girl.  In this situation, the girl has a heightened sense of value.  Tons of guys want her, she has the power to choose, therefor, the men become the "beggars."

What happens in a regular club is very similar for some girls.  In a club, they can get a bloated sense of self-worth.  So to have a chance, you need to bring her back to reality by showing you aren’t impressed with her.  A good NEG simply points out an insecurity the girl has, because that reminds her she’s not the "goddess" she might think she is.

But the other problem with NEGs is that guys use them when they shouldn’t!

Most women DON’T have a bloated sense of self worth, and don’t feel they’re high value – even if they are incredibly attractive.  Yet guys will still NEG them.

What does this do?

It repels the girl because the NEG either insults them or lowers their value TOO much.  The ideal situation is to have just a *little* more value than the girl you’re trying to pick up.

The idea that you have to NEG every girl is just stupid.  Even if you’re in a club, you don’t have to NEG a girl.  You need to get a sense of what your value is, compared to hers, before you decide to toss a NEG her way.

When used right, a NEG is not a mean or bad thing.  It is just another PUA tool to help level the playing field and make it easier for men to pick up women.