The Art of Approaching

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Okay, I want to talk about something here which I’ve touched on a bit in the past, especially with my first article to Cliff’s List, which was "Zen, and the Art of Approaching," where I talked about how to properly approach a woman and construct Openers of your own.

Since that time, I’ve thought a lot about that article, and it’s been one that many people seemed to have gotten something out of.  In a way, That article was the precursor to the start of my website, since it was the first thing I had ever written that got any notice in the community.

With the Lair, I’ve found a way to keep me focused on my goals with women, as well as having an outlet to express my thoughts and opinions.  Through the use of this website, I’ve been able to increase my skillset dramatically, especially when it comes to approaching women.

It’s funny, because I can remember a time when I was SO scared to approach women, that it just didn’t happen.  Now I can do it without much of a second thought.  In fact, it’s become so easy, I can confidently teach other guys how to Open women anywhere, and have done so with a few close friends of mine.

I’ve also been getting many requests lately to meet with people personally and teach them in the field, much like I did when I guest-instructed at the Real Social Dynamics workshop in Chicago.  I’ve been offered money by these people to do so, but did not feel qualified to take their offers as a "Pick-UP Instructor."  I defer that to the truly skilled PUAs such as Mystery and Tyler.  But one thing I did notice was that there was a common thread among the people who asked for my help — they all didn’t know how to approach.

They were afraid to talk to women.

In my daily routine of surfing the Internet dating and seduction chat boards, I noticed that this was a common problem among guys just starting out.  A problem that was usually only solved after taking a live, in-field workshop (and even then, that wasn’t a guarantee).  So seeing this problem, I decided to do something which I struggled with not doing for a long time now.

I wrote a book.

Read more

Never Stall Out Again!

Jlaix has a pretty innovative way to keep from forgetting your material while in set, which he’s posted on mASF. Of course, he was flamed for his advice. You be the judge as to if he deserved it…

Read more

Official LA Summit Thread

There’s a thread in the General board of mASF for everyone heading to the LA PUA Summit this weekend. Use it as a means to coordinate with other travel-weary ASF-ers.

You can find it here.

Mystery Gets Married!!!!

Wow, I never would have thought I’d see the day when a PUA Guru could be swept off his feet in just a few short weeks. It seems Mystery has gotten himself married to his live-in girlfriend he met not 3 weeks ago!

Herbal writes:
Nope… not a joke or a hoax. He and Katya just walked in the door from Vegas and they actually got married. Rings… paperwork… crazy bliss… it’s all there. Hmmm… not much else to say on this topic, technically it should go in off-topic but I think it’s big enough news that formhandle will let it slide.

Is he out of the game? Nope… she supports the whole seminar/workshop thing and will probably help out.

Well, if this is an April Fool’s Hoax, they’re a day off. If it isn’t, I’d like to congratulate the bride and groom on their Vegas-induced union. I’m a little upset I wasn’t invited to the ceremony *snif*!

Speaking of Vegas, who wants to take odds on how long this one’s gonna last? =)

Read the whole thread here.

A Note About the Sandbox

Just so you all know, the very first issue of “The Sandbox,” my monthly newsletter, will be released this Wednesday — so for all you slackers out there who haven’t subscribed yet, hit it up by entering your name and e-mail in the upper right column of the site!

We got some good stuff this month, including:

–An article from IN10SE on end game
–A Q&A Session with Croation Pick-Up Artist SHARK about his style of Pick-Up
–New Routines from BadBoy exclusively for the Sandbox
–A field report from me, as well as a special announcement concerning the site

So be sure to check it out. If you don’t like it, you can always UNSUBSCRIBE!!!!

James Method Goes Commercial

Just when you think it’s safe to surf the Internet, you see something like this:

Guys,

From the success of James Method I’ve decided to close the old geocities site and register a proper domain. Membership for the new site is $39.95, but I will be giving away free access to those PUAs who have made a large contribution to the PUA community her on mASF. Email me if you think you deserve free access.

From what I’ve heard of the James Method, it’s hardly worth paying nothing for it, as things were with the old Geocities site.  Other than James himself, no one really seems to think there’s validity to this Method.  I’ll be interested to hear if there’s actually anyone out there who’s going to pay $40 for it.

PlayboyLA Speaks

PlayboyLA, of Project Hollywood fame, had a great little post on the vaclair. I’m reposting it here with permission from the author.

Playboy writes:
Hey guys -

Greetings to all from Los Angeles….have had a great few weeks travelling to Sydney Australia with TD and Papa giving workshops, and recently throwing the first big party here at Project Hollywood.

As for BadBoy’s post, he is exactly right. Style calls one of the more critical moments in a sarge the “hook point”. This is when you know the girls would rather you stay than leave. How do you know this? If they are giving you massive IOIs, that’s one – or, if they ask you questions (aka IOIs)…you will begin to intuitively understand this, and be able to recognize it more and more as you sarge and gain field experience.

Overall, one point I make a lot when I teach new guys, is that what you are really doing in a sarge is a continuing process of calibrating energy and tension, until it explodes with sex. So, if you gain attraction and transition into rapport (or – comfort and trust as Mystery says) you have established a certain amount of sexual tension, which allows for a certain new level of interaction. Now, if you can sense that “tension” waning for any reason – perhaps she gets distracted by a phone call, or her friend wants to dance blah blah blah – you may have to quickly shift into teasing/flirting etc in order to stoke the fire and keep her from running off. In a club/bar environment, women are accustomed to following “the shiny thing” (credit – Toecutter). If something else becomes “shinier”, you’ll need to act fast…

Overall, calibrate to both the venue and the level of sexual tension. My rule of thumb is to be slightly more interesting than everything else – so, if that is a coffee shop, to be chill and funny – if it is a danceclub – be higher energy and very fucking fun! If the tension drops – for a gazillion reasons – ramp it up with a good natured tease, story, c&f, whatever…

Best to all.

This is an excellent post talking about how to keep girl’s interested in what you have to offer them. I’ve encountered more than one “shiny thing” in my day as it has dragged girl after girl off into the abyss that is the dance floor. And after seeing Playboy in action, I can say he speaks from experience!

The First Project Hollywood Party

Well, this past Saturday, the Project Hollywood Mansion was devirginized and had it’s first real house party. It was kind of a funny situation though, because for the inaugrual ball, four of the house’s residents: Mystery, Style, Papa, and Herbal — were all absent, leaving only PlayboyLA and Mystery’s Girlfriend to attend to the proceedings.

It was quite a fun night, and I was pretty impressed with the quality of the party. It was run by two local promoters who had two Open Vodka Bars running in the house. They charged $20 a head at the door, and had live DJs spinning hip-hop music all night. At it’s heaviest, I’d have to say there were about 500 people there. LOTS of cute girls too. I rolled up there with Swinggcat, Merovingian, and Dominic “King of All Naturals.” Other notable guys there TheOne, PlayboyLA, Protocol, and a few other local mASF guys.

Some highlights from the party:

–Dominic “King of All Naturals,” getting introduced to the “community” by Protocol, who wierded him out after regailing him of his experiences accidentially masterbating twice before having sex with a girl for the first time.

–Swinggcat pulling a hot redhead away from her fiance and feeling her up in the corner as her poor helpless shlub of a husband-to-be looked on helpless.

–PlayboyLA’s pants. (Don’t ask)

–Mystery’s Girlfriend’s see-through black dress, which left little to the imagination. =)

–The Open Bar. Always a plus!

–Swinggcat making out with three girls in a row.

–Me practicing my AMOG tactics on all the Betas at the party. I’m beginning to see why jlaix loves to do this stuff.

–Seeing the newer guys in action and remembering what it was like when I was first starting out.

–Getting to see Merovingian game a girl and pull her back to his hotel room for a lay.

–Seeing TheOne strap a little dog to his chest and redefining the concept of “peacocking” by opening girl after girl with it. In his words: “It’s better than a boa.”

–Seeing PlayboyLA work the crowd. This guy is one smooth operator. Don’t be surprized if he shows up on this years “Top 10 PUA” list.

–Watching Dominic “King of All Naturals” try to explain to the mASFers his game. Always good for a laugh.

–Dancing with Mystery’s Girlfriend. Herbal’s right. She’s a real sweetie.

–Learning a great new Opener from some shlub I AMOGED.

–Swinggcat playing two girls off each other in a jealousy plotline and laying one of them in one of the Project Hollywood bathrooms.

–Seeing Dominic “King of All Naturals” pulling a blonde girl, hearing about him fucking her back at her place, and then calling up another girl to go to her place for another round of “Monkey Love.” It’s good to be the King.

All in all, a real fun night. I didn’t get any play, in fact, my game was rather off. But it was fun and a lot of guys got with chicks. A great success for the first PH mansion party. I can’t wait for the next one.

King of All Naturals

I had an interesting experience this weekend, where I got to meet a guy who I feel deserves the title "King of All Naturals."  The guy’s name is Dominic, and he has some major game.  It’s not "Game" in the sense that those who study this stuff know it.  Rather, it’s game in the sense that he knows how to use what he has to get women.  I’ve heard stories about Dominic "King of All Naturals" from my friends before, but after getting to see him in action, I realized the stories didn’t really do him justice.

This guy is quite confident with women, and has a very interesting style which is all his own.  It’s not overtly agressive in nature, in fact, there’s more than a few subtle mind-games he plays, but I don’t even think he’s aware of it.  The other night when I was hanging out with him, there was a point where he was scemeing to pull this girl he was talking to into a bathroom and fucking her right there.  He didn’t quite pull it off, but he ended up fucking her later in the night, and made plans to fly to Vegas with her the next day.  This is a girl he LITERALLY met that night, who’s already going to travel with him to a different state.  That’s pretty tight game.

Anyway, I’ll probably talk about him a bit more in the future.  It would be hard to completely ignore the "King of All Naturals," after all.  =)

No Such Thing as “Rejection”

Neo-Rio posted this sucker in the General forum of mASF:

Neo-Rio writes:
There is no such thing as “rejection”

What there is though:

* Women trying to game you by being C&F or playing hard to get. So, if they’re actively trying to game you, then how is THAT rejection?
* Women thinking about sex too much. If they’re horny, the harder they’ll try to game you… even if sex wasn’t your intention when meeting her. (Which explains why “bitches” simultaneously dress hot and go out and “reject” guys for no reason.)
* Performance anxiety in an attempt to seduce men.

For men, the only rejection possible is SELF-REJECTION.

So really, getting over the fear of “rejection” is understanding that:-

* Not approaching women with the intention of having sex with them UNTIL you have screened them. Get sex off the brain. Concentrate on rapport. This mindset in itself makes approaching effortless and fearless.
* Understanding that being bitched out is actually a GOOD thing, and is nothing bad at all. Her reaction to you is nothing you need to be concerned about, because it (despite all appearances) is actually something good going for you. There is no need to fight back or get angry once you know what’s really going on in her head.
* Take sex out of the equation. By using a neg, or just LJBFing her right from the start, you drop her ASD. Also, you take her sexuality away from her so she can’t use it as a weapon against you.
* Note that by taking sex out of the equation… while you drop her ASD and resistance… you raise her performance anxiety. No longer the old tricks she used to get men are working now! She is now in unchartered territory, which is scary, so be gentle.

Interesting post. I’m not sure I completely agree because I think Neo is giving the girl a little too much power in the interaction with this perspective. I think if you’re getting rejected, it’s most likely the material you’re using isn’t strong enough and the girl isn’t reacting to it like she’s supposed to. As Swinggcat likes to say “It’s not you, it’s the material.”

You can read the whole thread here.

No Such Thing as “Rejection”

Neo-Rio posted this sucker in the General forum of mASF:

Neo-Rio writes:
There is no such thing as “rejection”

What there is though:

* Women trying to game you by being C&F or playing hard to get. So, if they’re actively trying to game you, then how is THAT rejection?
* Women thinking about sex too much. If they’re horny, the harder they’ll try to game you… even if sex wasn’t your intention when meeting her. (Which explains why “bitches” simultaneously dress hot and go out and “reject” guys for no reason.)
* Performance anxiety in an attempt to seduce men.

For men, the only rejection possible is SELF-REJECTION.

So really, getting over the fear of “rejection” is understanding that:-

* Not approaching women with the intention of having sex with them UNTIL you have screened them. Get sex off the brain. Concentrate on rapport. This mindset in itself makes approaching effortless and fearless.
* Understanding that being bitched out is actually a GOOD thing, and is nothing bad at all. Her reaction to you is nothing you need to be concerned about, because it (despite all appearances) is actually something good going for you. There is no need to fight back or get angry once you know what’s really going on in her head.
* Take sex out of the equation. By using a neg, or just LJBFing her right from the start, you drop her ASD. Also, you take her sexuality away from her so she can’t use it as a weapon against you.
* Note that by taking sex out of the equation… while you drop her ASD and resistance… you raise her performance anxiety. No longer the old tricks she used to get men are working now! She is now in unchartered territory, which is scary, so be gentle.

Interesting post. I’m not sure I completely agree because I think Neo is giving the girl a little too much power in the interaction with this perspective. I think if you’re getting rejected, it’s most likely the material you’re using isn’t strong enough and the girl isn’t reacting to it like she’s supposed to. As Swinggcat likes to say “It’s not you, it’s the material.”

You can read the whole thread here.

Going Out Alone

Some dude who goes by Canadianguy posts about going out alone in the General forum of mASF.

Canadianguy writes:
A lot of the time lately, I’m finding I have nobody to go to clubs with on friday or saturday nights. So I usually don’t go, I end up wasting it. LAME.
I need to go out by myself, but when I’ve tried in the past it wasn’t so fun. Any tips on how to make clubbing solo fun?

Sirducer chimes in…

Read more

Opening in a Closed Society

Acolyte had a pretty interesting post in the Advanced forum of mASF about the difficulty of Opening in a “closed-off” atmosphere. I have to admit, this thread interested me because I’ve had similar experiences in certain places that I found “cliquey,” (or however you spell it). Anyway, here’s what he had to say:

Acolyte writes:
As I don’t feel this is a simple, general issue, I’m posting this in advanced. I’m sure if it were simple, my wings and myself would have worked it out already! Formhandle, if you don’t agree with this, please feel free to move it to where you see fit.

Myself and my wings have been hitting our heads time and again in-field. We live in Cape Town – a place known (not only by locals, but also by people in other cities in South Africa) as being, “cliquey”. People go out in order to “be seen”. I don’t know of anyone here that goes out looking forward to MEET PEOPLE and have a good time. The Field-Reports etc that we read here on ASF are TOTALLY non-applicable to here – the ‘scene’ just isn’t like that in our experience.

Opening here is a bloody nightmare. People here are just NOT open to it.

Where we see people making-out in clubs, its with the people they came there with OR someone that managed to by them enough drinks and was good-looking enough that she didn’t run away from his cavemanning throughout the night. And, even in those situations, we don’t see these girls LEAVING with those guys – merely kissing etc. The girls go home the same way they came.

So, how the fuck DO we meet people here? Social groups – school, college, university (and even there you can be in a class all year and never get to speak to everyone). I met many people through the band I used to manage for 3 years – networking. Basically this (as myself and my wings see it), is a result of there needing to be MASSIVE amounts of “familiarity” before people will BEGIN to be open to pursue rapport with you. Otherwise, they’re not interested.

Society here seems to (generally) be very LSE, but with many arrogant jock dickheads – these are the guys responsible for raising these girls Bitch-shields so crazy-high. We go out to clubs and see drunk jock morons groping and feeling their way through the masses, beating their chests and clinking beermugs. Sadly, our “celebrities” here are NOT musicians / actors etc. but are our rugby-players etc. Bummer, hey?

So where does this leave a guy desiring to study pickup? A lot of what we’re seeing here is reminiscent of what TD once described of sarging the high-society clubs in LA. Although, strangely, we can’t work out if we’re getting LOCKUP, or BLOWN-OUT. Strangely I feel its a combination of both.

There doesn’t seem to be any such thing as a singles club here. Even our pool-bars are too loud to talk in (and hence run game (for the most part)).

Mystery speaks of telling a girl his “back-story” (about his carreer etc) for 25 minutes as part of his game…. No. Not gonna happen. Any routine longer than about 3 seconds is waaaaaay too long in our experience.

So, the question stands – How the hell do you open here?

So then Veroxii chimes in with his perspective…

Read more

Is “Fool’s Mate” Bullshit?

Wow, it seems we have a lot of Mystery love on the Lair this week. I guess it’s only appropriate to cap it off with one last, great post from Mystery for the weekend. Of course, things from the Mystery camp may be a bit hard to come by in the oncoming weeks due to Mystery taking a month off from the Internet, so you better enjoy it while it lasts!

This last thread was started by tigger in the Advanced forum on mASF to talk about the concept of “Fool’s Mate” (the idea of getting laid by accident, aka “Getting Lucky,” without the use of skills or tactics). Tyler has some great replies on this thread as well, but the one Mystery wrote really stuck out at me, especially because… well… he gives away part of his upcoming book!!!!!!!

So I guess this is a sneak peak of what you can expect from Mystery’s big book debut, along with some great insight on the topic of “Fool’s Mate.” Read on:

Read more

Is “Fool’s Mate” Bullshit?

Wow, it seems we have a lot of Mystery love on the Lair this week. I guess it’s only appropriate to cap it off with one last, great post from Mystery for the weekend. Of course, things from the Mystery camp may be a bit hard to come by in the oncoming weeks due to Mystery taking a month off from the Internet, so you better enjoy it while it lasts!

This last thread was started by tigger in the Advanced forum on mASF to talk about the concept of “Fool’s Mate” (the idea of getting laid by accident, aka “Getting Lucky,” without the use of skills or tactics). Tyler has some great replies on this thread as well, but the one Mystery wrote really stuck out at me, especially because… well… he gives away part of his upcoming book!!!!!!!

So I guess this is a sneak peak of what you can expect from Mystery’s big book debut, along with some great insight on the topic of “Fool’s Mate.” Read on:

Read more

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