Zen, and the Art of Opening

February 4, 2004 by  
Filed under Tips & Tricks

**Reposted from the first Lair, original date: 12/18/03

Okay all you wannabees. Here is an article I wrote a few months back for Cliff’s List on approaching women. Its not my best work to date, but it should get you started off in the right direction as far as upping your game to the next level. Obviously, if you can already approach worth a damn, you might very well get nothing from this post, so go back to looking at your internet pornography. I know i will. =)

Thundercat

*************************************************************

Zen, and the Art of Opening
An Essay on Approaching Women, by Thundercat

A butterfly flaps its wings, the breeze it creates sends a puff of pollen from a nearby flower into the air, causing a rhinoceros to sneeze. The sound of that sneeze causes a herd of zebras to stampede, disrupting the flow of wind current, which helps create a hurricane in the South Pacific, which causes American Airlines to cancel their flights that night, which means the girl of your dreams is forced to stay in town for one more day. You find her at your favorite bar with her friends, partying away her borrowed time.

Now what?

Though fate may have acted in your favor up to this point by doing the exact things necessary to get that exact girl to show up in that exact location at the exact same time that you would be there, the fact remains that it is now up to you to take action.

The idea of “opening” is the notion of approaching a woman with the express intent of engaging her in a conversation. By doing so, you then make her more receptive to talking to you, effectively opening her up for further interaction.

The “opener” is a line that is used to initiate the conversation. It is often the first sentence exchanged between the man and the woman he desires. “Pick-up Lines” are forms of openers, but openers can be anything to get the girl talking.

But there is more to opening than knowing what to say. Indeed, the process of “opening” a girl can be quite involved. The first thing to be aware of when opening a girl is the concept of “active disinterest.”

Now, those two words may seem rather nonsequiter or paradoxical when matched together. But there is an important reason why those two words should be matched together.

Have you ever been out and about, maybe in a bar or a club, and you see a beautiful woman. And after spotting said woman, you simply stand there, waiting for her to notice you and approach you? So you sit around trying to act cool, acting like you don’t see her, projecting a confident, macho attitude you hope is magnetic enough to get her attention?

Now, ask yourself how often that works.

This is an example of “inactive disinterest.” The opposite of this is when you actually take the action necessary to become noticed by the woman, while still portraying that disinterested attitude. Hence, “active disinterest.”

But why act disinterested? Obviously, you’re attracted to the girl, otherwise you wouldn’t be bothering to approach her. But put yourself in their position for a moment:

Imagine going through your average day, and being approached by a number of people who compliment you on your looks, your clothing, or an accessory of some sort, all because they want something from you. Kind of cheapens those compliments, doesn’t it? Especially when the seventh person of the day comes up and tells you how cool your purse is.

This is the reality of women, especially beautiful women. Women know men want to have sex with them. They get untold offers every day to have sex. Guy after guy will approach with that exact goal in mind. So girls, naturally, become accustomed to rejecting advances that telegraph intent, much the same way you might respond to a vagrant asking for change as you walk to work. You know what he is going to ask and you are prepared not to give it to him.

When you approach a woman and say “Hey baby, lookin’ good tonight,” you are telegraphing interest in an aggressive manor. By the same token, when you sheepishly approach and say “Hello. May I please buy you a drink?” you are not only telegraphing interest, but also doing so in a very wimpy way.

But when you enter with disinterest, you are neutral. You do not telegraph interest while neither coming off aggressive nor coming off wimpy. You are simply “Neutral.”

But being neutral simply isn’t enough, you must be engaging. Otherwise you run the risk of making the girl bored and having her walk away.

The best way to engage someone for the first time is by asking their opinion on something. When doing so, you are able to get them to invest their own personal thoughts and feelings into your burgeoning conversation. And once that’s invested, they are more likely to commit themselves to the interaction.

A neutral opinion opener can be anything that does not telegraph interest, while presenting options to your target that helps to encourage them to give and expand upon their opinion.

Examples of this are:

  • Which was better, Star Wars or the Empire Strikes Back?
  • Which do you prefer – Barbie or Skipper?
  • Do you like coffee or tea better?
  • Which is better – Diet Coke or Diet Pepsi?
  • What’s cooler to listen to – 80′s music or 90′s music?

Each of the above openers are neutral, and they both ask an opinion. But if you use these openers before you have caught your target’s interest, you run the risk of having to repeat yourself, so it is preferable to preface each neutral opinion opener with an “attention grabber.” This can be as simple as:

Hey guys, I need an opinion on something…

or

Yo guys, check this out…

These will engage the target and get them to listen for the opener. Attention Grabbers do not really need to be processed by the brain, they just have to be loud enough to be heard. But note that it is still important for them to be neutral. This is apparent by keeping the words “girls” or “ladies” out of them. By saying such, you draw attention to the fact that you are a man approaching them, and are most likely looking for sex. Rather, you want to get in the habit of referring to the girl you open in a neutral yet friendly term, like “guy” or “dude.”

It is important to note that you want to avoid attention grabbers that come off too needy or wimpy. By starting off with “Excuse me,” or “Pardon me,” you are presupposing you are interrupting her and asking her permission to engage her, when in fact, it is much more powerful and effective to engage her without asking permission.

So when you approach a woman with active disinterest, and you use a neutral opinion opener, you are increasing your chances of engaging the woman, and minimized that probability she will reject you.

Thundercat

Get Your Free Guide Here!

Comments

1,012 Responses to “Zen, and the Art of Opening”
  1. AngkAmelt says:

    Therefore, a symptom is a phenomenon that is experienced by the individual affected by the disease, while a sign is a phenomenon that can be detected by someone other than the individual affected by the disease.
    Simply compare online offers to buy what happens if you drink on flagyl return shipment if the product is ineffective?
    The Esomeprazole Study Investigators.

  2. Wnwfanexy says:

    Ulcerative colitis symptoms depend on the location and severity of the condition.
    Read on side effects of lisinopril at consistently low prices
    Because every person reacts differently to any one of the millions of known mold varieties, mold exposure is difficult to categorize in terms of severity.

  3. Anedworma says:

    My dog loves it!
    When you are dealing with a personal medical problem try buying doxycycline cost at reduced prices
    But constipation also has other, less-well-known causes, including certain medications and supplements, as well as potentially serious medical conditions.

  4. Stuzag says:

    celecoxib 200mg canada – buy celecoxib online order indocin 50mg without prescription

  5. Профессиональный сервисный центр по ремонту сотовых телефонов, смартфонов и мобильных устройств.
    Мы предлагаем: ремонт смартфонов в москве сервисные центры
    Наши мастера оперативно устранят неисправности вашего устройства в сервисе или с выездом на дом!

  6. Wcidts says:

    purchase colospa pills – etoricoxib over the counter buy cilostazol 100 mg generic

  7. AgfnvAmelt says:

    Products and ServicesMayo Clinic MembershipBook: The Essential Diabetes BookDVD: Mayo Clinic Wellness Solutions for DiabetesBook: The Mayo Clinic Diabetes DietSee alsoMedication-free hypertension controlA1C testAfter a flood, are food and medicines safe to use?
    providersPreventing errors is your responsibility when you keflex side effects weight gain concerning ED management kit. Free shipping now!
    It is sold without prescription in the United States.

  8. AnrhAmelt says:

    Misoprostol must be taken bucally.
    Stay home, shop your drugs online and enjoy a low price of flexeril and neurontin . Have it now!
    Clotting can be prevented by following physician recommendations concerning medications.

  9. Wnenanexy says:

    This kind of medicine has to stop.
    in sex.The efficiency of the medicines when you nolvadex sexual is more convenient
    This appears not to be the case and there are grounds for believing that pathologists should examine all ULMS cases for ER and PgR expression.

  10. Angdworma says:

    From 1996 to 2012, human infections with H7 avian influenza viruses H7N2, H7N3, and H7N7 were reported in Canada, Italy, Mexico, the Netherlands, the United Kingdom, and the United States of America.
    Your privacy should be safeguarded when you cephalexin contraindications today
    See “Hospice: Philosophy of care and appropriate utilization in the United States”.

  11. uplinge says:

    Inactive against spores and biofilms Some mycobacterium are intrinsically resistant Ototoxicity, corneal keratitis, ulceration and conjunctivitis use caution around the ears eyes priligy 30mg price

  12. Профессиональный сервисный центр по ремонту холодильников и морозильных камер.
    Мы предлагаем: ремонт холодильников
    Наши мастера оперативно устранят неисправности вашего устройства в сервисе или с выездом на дом!

  13. EdwardDal says:

    1xbet: 1xbet – 1хбет официальный сайт

  14. Профессиональный сервисный центр по ремонту планетов в том числе Apple iPad.
    Мы предлагаем: ремонт айпада в москве
    Наши мастера оперативно устранят неисправности вашего устройства в сервисе или с выездом на дом!

  15. Если вы искали где отремонтировать сломаную технику, обратите внимание – техпрофи

  16. Профессиональный сервисный центр по ремонту радиоуправляемых устройства – квадрокоптеры, дроны, беспилостники в том числе Apple iPad.
    Мы предлагаем: ремонт квадрокоптеров в москве на карте
    Наши мастера оперативно устранят неисправности вашего устройства в сервисе или с выездом на дом!

  17. Если вы искали где отремонтировать сломаную технику, обратите внимание – тех профи

  18. Если вы искали где отремонтировать сломаную технику, обратите внимание – ремонт бытовой техники в москве

  19. Профессиональный сервисный центр по ремонту ноутбуков и компьютеров.дронов.
    Мы предлагаем:ремонт ноутбуков москва
    Наши мастера оперативно устранят неисправности вашего устройства в сервисе или с выездом на дом!

  20. Профессиональный сервисный центр по ремонту бытовой техники с выездом на дом.
    Мы предлагаем:сервис центры бытовой техники петербург
    Наши мастера оперативно устранят неисправности вашего устройства в сервисе или с выездом на дом!

  21. Ozbcjj says:

    order voltaren 100mg generic – purchase cambia pill buy aspirin generic

  22. Если вы искали где отремонтировать сломаную технику, обратите внимание – ремонт бытовой техники в новосибирске

  23. Wtmganexy says:

    Breast cancer is the most common cancer the UK with around 50,000 women and 350 men diagnosed with breast cancer each year.
    are a necessity in life What are the long-term benefits that is tadalafil better than sildenafil to reduce symptoms
    Since I have kissed her I come to very ill start with body aching then fever, headache, sore throat, even I know I got very dry mouth, itchy skin, and whit milky dots on my lips and penis as well is chest.

  24. Профессиональный сервисный центр по ремонту источников бесперебойного питания.
    Мы предлагаем: сервис ибп
    Наши мастера оперативно устранят неисправности вашего устройства в сервисе или с выездом на дом!

  25. Wtmganexy says:

    Patients and their caregivers also receive literature and information about DVT and its prevention.
    the best value|Find out the effective way of treating ED. Visit pros and cons of sildenafil are advantages of internet shopping.
    A two-sidedsignificance level of.

  26. Если вы искали где отремонтировать сломаную технику, обратите внимание – ремонт бытовой техники

  27. Ancrworma says:

    Includes questions to ask a potential therapist.
    Price lists for 45 mg sildenafil is the biggest trend .
    These veins are called varices and their walls are fragile and prone to rupture.

  28. Если вы искали где отремонтировать сломаную технику, обратите внимание – выездной ремонт бытовой техники в челябинске

  29. Towzxa says:

    how to buy rumalaya – buy amitriptyline 10mg generic elavil cost

  30. Профессиональный сервисный центр по ремонту бытовой техники с выездом на дом.
    Мы предлагаем:ремонт крупногабаритной техники в екатеринбурге
    Наши мастера оперативно устранят неисправности вашего устройства в сервисе или с выездом на дом!

  31. Если вы искали где отремонтировать сломаную технику, обратите внимание – профи челябинск

  32. Wcrfanexy says:

    The results will help to determine how much medication is required, how much exercise can be undertaken and what foods should be eaten.
    Do foreign countries offer lexapro reviews for anxiety from the Internet.
    Obesity is also associated with higher risk.

  33. AnvtfAmelt says:

    For people dealing with anxiety disorders, symptoms can feel strange and confusing at first.
    Are there any side effects in taking ivermectin 3mg tab at greatly reduced prices
    Aging WellAlternative MedicinesBrain HealthChildrenEating WellEmotional HealthFitnessHealthy WeightMenRelationshipsSleep WellSpiritualityStressUniversityWellnessWomen Event CalendarExpert ColumnsFirst AidHealth ProductsRecipesWellness InventoryWelcome Center Walking?

  34. AgxfAmelt says:

    Hi, thank you for the information.
    Follow instructions after you compare the zithromax ear infection are advantages of internet shopping.
    The fever, aches, and pains begin to go away on days 2 through 4.

  35. Antnworma says:

    Beta blockers: Help the heart beat more slowly and less forcefully, and also relax arterial walls, together resulting in less pressure within and on blood vessels.
    One of the most popular ways to lasix effect on sodium are advantages of internet shopping.
    In February 2013, Buddy started acting funny, would not eat all his food or not eat at all.

  36. Wcrfanexy says:

    A doctor can diagnose dengue fever by performing a blood test.
    tay ignorant. can you smoke weed on lexapro in order to save money
    Other less common causes include hypercoagulable state, cancer, renal transplantation, behcet syndrome, antiphospholipid antibody syndrome or blunt trauma to the back or abdomen.

  37. Профессиональный сервисный центр по ремонту фото техники от зеркальных до цифровых фотоаппаратов.
    Мы предлагаем: ремонт фотоаппрата в москве
    Наши мастера оперативно устранят неисправности вашего устройства в сервисе или с выездом на дом!

  38. Gbmcph says:

    buy pyridostigmine 60mg online – mestinon generic azathioprine generic

  39. Если вы искали где отремонтировать сломаную технику, обратите внимание – профи услуги

  40. BelindaJak says:

    Appreciate it. A good amount of tips!
    nude online casinos https://usacasinomaster.com/crash-games/ online casino for new york residents

  41. Профессиональный сервисный центр по ремонту планшетов в Москве.
    Мы предлагаем: ремонт планшета
    Наши мастера оперативно устранят неисправности вашего устройства в сервисе или с выездом на дом!

  42. BelindaJak says:

    With thanks! Loads of stuff.
    golden treasure online casino https://uscasinoguides.com/crypto-casinos/ book of ra online casino echtgeld

  43. Профессиональный сервисный центр по ремонту бытовой техники с выездом на дом.
    Мы предлагаем:ремонт крупногабаритной техники в новосибирске
    Наши мастера оперативно устранят неисправности вашего устройства в сервисе или с выездом на дом!

  44. BelindaJak says:

    Wow a good deal of beneficial info.
    online casino mit echtgeld bonus ohne einzahlung https://luckyusaplay.com/georgia-casinos/ online casino deutschland echtgeld

Speak Your Mind

Tell us what you're thinking...
and oh, if you want a pic to show with your comment, go get a gravatar!

*