Rules of an Affair

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David Shade posted a link to this on the EBSS list. It’s a really excellent article written by a woman who had a 3 year long affair with a married man, and figured out a series of rules to help keep an affair going. For all you “Dirk Manley” fans out there, this is essential reading! Here’s an exerpt:

On the eve of my 40th birthday, we went out for drinks at a hotel bar in midtown. I asked him whether I was crazy, or was there something between us? I wish that I had recorded that conversation. Steven was concerned about the implications at work. He wasn’t my direct boss, but he was more senior than I. I said I didn’t want two families wrecked by this. I also knew that I couldn’t wait to fuck him.

You can read the whole article here. It really is an eye opening little piece of literature. It’s the kind of thing that would make any married man paranoid, but there’s a lot of truth to it.

The fact of the matter is, most affairs come from a lack of sexual tension in a marriage — at least on the woman’s part. If a woman wants to keep her husband from having an affair, it’s pretty simple — lots of sex, good cooking, clean house, and don’t bitch too much. For a guy to keep a woman from cheating, it’s much, much more complicated, because women need to feel passion. They need to feel attraction. They need that sexual tension between a man and a woman.

That’s why I think the passage above is so telling. This Steven guy created a lot of sexual tension with this woman, and despite all the reasons NOT to do it, she couldn’t wait to fuck him. And the same is true of every girl in a relationship — if a guy knows how to create that sexual tension, that unbridled passion, any girl (and I mean ANY girl) will find a way to fuck him. Us Pick-Up Artists in the community know this is a reality, which is why some balk at the notion of long term committed relationships and marriage, because we stare into the abyss every day and see the ugly truth society and our mothers have tried so long to keep hidden.

The 2 1/2″ Syndrome

Sexkitten put up an interesting post on male genitalia.  And you know me, if it’s about male genitalia, I’m gonna post about it!!!!  =)

Sexkitten writes
Every time I open my email these days, I see ads for men to have penis enlargement surgery.  And yep, we women may have to take some of the blame.  (Do we make our men feel inadequate?  Do we really think that bigger is better?  I’ll address that later in another blog)

This is a sensitive issue for men, and many may be tempted, but it’s a BAD idea, folks.  I KNOW!  I had a boyfriend who did it.  He actually had three surgeries in one year.  One wasn’t enough, twice, three times, he’s still not satisfied.  Will he ever be satisfied?  I doubt it.  The problem is not his penis size.  He’s sick in the head, I believe.  And should have used that money to get psychological help.

The procedure is not only expensive—it’s painful, and very risky.  Yes, you run the risk of not being able to reach a full erection.  And that’s not the worst part, you could become impotent!!!  And eventually, you’ll be back to having the same old boy you had—and don’t get me started about the scars left on your behind where the fat was taken to be inserted into the penis.

And mentally you will be constantly worrying that something my have gone wrong—so wrong that even though you may be physically fine, you can’t stop worrying, which can affect you performing sexually.

Another interesting piece of information: the majority of men who gets this operation DO NOT need it.  They are average size or bigger.  I would suggest getting some professional help before taking this step.

Dick size is definitely a big issue for a lot of guys.  I rang in with my thoughts in the comment section of Sexkitten’s blog if you guys care to read it.  You can find the thread here.

The 2 1/2″ Syndrome

Sexkitten put up an interesting post on male genitalia.  And you know me, if it’s about male genitalia, I’m gonna post about it!!!!  =)

Sexkitten writes
Every time I open my email these days, I see ads for men to have penis enlargement surgery.  And yep, we women may have to take some of the blame.  (Do we make our men feel inadequate?  Do we really think that bigger is better?  I’ll address that later in another blog)

This is a sensitive issue for men, and many may be tempted, but it’s a BAD idea, folks.  I KNOW!  I had a boyfriend who did it.  He actually had three surgeries in one year.  One wasn’t enough, twice, three times, he’s still not satisfied.  Will he ever be satisfied?  I doubt it.  The problem is not his penis size.  He’s sick in the head, I believe.  And should have used that money to get psychological help.

The procedure is not only expensive—it’s painful, and very risky.  Yes, you run the risk of not being able to reach a full erection.  And that’s not the worst part, you could become impotent!!!  And eventually, you’ll be back to having the same old boy you had—and don’t get me started about the scars left on your behind where the fat was taken to be inserted into the penis.

And mentally you will be constantly worrying that something my have gone wrong—so wrong that even though you may be physically fine, you can’t stop worrying, which can affect you performing sexually.

Another interesting piece of information: the majority of men who gets this operation DO NOT need it.  They are average size or bigger.  I would suggest getting some professional help before taking this step.

Dick size is definitely a big issue for a lot of guys.  I rang in with my thoughts in the comment section of Sexkitten’s blog if you guys care to read it.  You can find the thread here.

The Harsh Reality of PAIMAI

Found this on the A Bad Man in a Bad Place blog.

On the subway, none of the cute girls with good skin and high heels would make eye contact with me, either uptown on the E or downtown on the 9.  The only woman who would was a fifty something very beautiful woman who, to my dismay, intimidated me.  I lost eye contact with her.  She just stared. And stared.  And was around 50.

Failure is not a bad thing.  Not trying is where the trouble starts.

LOL.  Where’s a false opinion opener when you need one?
          

Hurrydate AFCs

Ah, you gotta love Carly. Her blog PORNBLOGRAPHY is one of the wittiest, funniest, and smartest things I’ve ever seen associated with porn (with the exception of “Perversions 5,” that is). This week, Carly’s gotten especially devious in a very TD-esque way when a friend of hers invited her to go to a “HurryDate” event (a SpeedDating sort of thing where people get 1 minute to meet each other and decide if they want to go out).

Anyway, here’s the breakdown:

Carly writes:
I elected to turn the evening into an experiment of sorts. I decided that I would tell every one of my suitors that I worked in porn, while Adella would refrain from any mention of it. The end result, of course, would be for us to see how many people picked each of us based on that.

So here’s how her experiment went:

Him: So what do you do for a living?
Me: PR for porn.
Him: (Pause.) Really?
Me: Yes.
Him: Does the porn industry really need PR?
Me: Can you name me the last movie Jenna Jameson released?
Him: No.
Me: There’s your answer.
Him: I don’t know whether or not to believe you.
Me: What, you think I’d make this shit up?
Him: Well, I dunno… I met you, what. Two seconds ago?
Me: Believe me, if I were going to make something up, it would be something that didn’t include decoding industry terminology such as ATOGM.
Him: What’s that?
Me: Never mind.

TWEET!

Him: I work in entertainment. What do you do?
Me: I work in entertainment as well.
Him: Oh yeah? What facet?
Me: The blue facet.
Him: (Whispering.) Adult?
Me: Yup.
Him: Wow, that’s interesting. What do you do?
Me: Just blow job movies.
Him: (Long pause, face starts to flush.) So… you’re… a porn star?
Me: Yep.
Him: (Sitting back in his chair.) Really?!
Me: No. I do PR.
Him: (Somewhat dejected.) Oh.

TWEET!

Ha ha ha. I like this last one. Carly, being the hot chick she is, really knows how to fuck with guys, especially when it comes to dangling “the sex” before them.

Him: So what do you do for a living?
Me: PR for porn.
Him: Really?
Me: Why does everyone think I’m making that up?
Him: Well, it’s not something you run into every day.
Me: It is if you live in the Valley.
Him: Good point. So how’d you get into that?
Me: Total fluke. I answered a job posting for AVN, and then I went to work for Metro as their publicist. Ron Jeremy is their contract boy.
Him: Ron Jeremy… man. Does that guy still do porno?
Me: Kinda. He tries, at least.
Him: He’s gotta be the ugliest guy I’ve ever seen. He’s, like, the Penguin from Batman Returns.
Me: (Gales of laughter.)

TWEET!

Now this guy seems to have gotten it. Nice little Cocky/Funny play. He’s the only one Carly seemed to like.

Him: And you?
Me: I work in porn.
Him: Doing what?
Me: PR.
Him: Tell me about fetishes.
Me: What about them?
Him: What kinds are there?
Me: I dunno… you name it, it’s likely a fetish.
Him: Well, like, what kind of fetishes have you seen?
Me: Foot, natural breast, young girls…
Him: No, like weird ones.
Me: I don’t know that I find anything that weird anymore. I’m incredibly jaded now. Even the video I had to review that featured a naked chick rubbing herself with balloons for an hour doesn’t seem that strange anymore.
Him: What about those people who dress up in costume.
Me: Oh, furries?
Him: Yeah!
Me: That’s so last year.
Him: (Spilling his drink all over the table.) Oh damn… hey, I got you wet! Ha! Get it?
Me: (Rolling eyes.)

TWEET!

This sounds like my last attempt at a Pick-Up. =)

Him: So what do you do for work?
Me: Porn for PR. No, wait, that came out wrong. PR for porn.
Him: Do you get dental with that?
Me: What, did you just finish watching Grosse Pointe Blank?

TWEET!

Him: So are you entrepreneurial in nature?
Me: You could say that. I work for myself.
Him: Doing what?
Me: Porno PR.
Him: Really? Wow, that’s adventurous. I’m adventurous too. In fact, I at one time considered getting into the industry myself. As a performer.
Me: Uh… huh.
Him: Really, because my adventurous nature—
Me: (Silently praying for the whistle to blow…)

TWEET!

Hmmm. Sounds like someone’s been studying SS.

Him: So how’s your night going so far?
Me: Really well, actually, and yours?
Him: I’m having fun.
Me: That’s good. What’s the strangest question you’ve been asked so far tonight?
Him: I haven’t had any strange questions.
Me: Do you do anal?
Him: (Long pause.) Uhm… like how do you mean?
Me: Y’know, give or receive?
Him: Ahh… I guess it would depend on the woman?

TWEET!

HAHAHAHA… wow, what a state-breaking question. I love how Carly just runs the show in her interactions with people. What a great example of controling the underlying meaning of an interaction. Carly really DOESN’T care about getting together with these guys. She’s coming from a power position, and they’re all supplicative AFCs. The only one who seems to have passed the mustard was the guy who poked fun at Ron Jeremy, but I don’t think he really created any attraction.

The cardnal sin these guys committed was that they asked her questions. They let her set the frame by getting wrapped up in the porno end of things. Can you imagine what would have happened if one of these guys sat down and asked HER if she does anal? And then acted unimpressed by the fact she worked in porn and bypassed the subject to things HE wanted to talk about? That’s what it comes down too.

I’m very guilty of falling into the “question asking” phase of dealing with a woman. I think Juggler said it best when he stated “You only have a certain ammount of questions in the bank with a girl. Once you go into debt, it’s over.” So you gotta use your questions wisely, and never ask questions that allow her to set the frame of the interaction.

You can read the whole thread of Carly’s adventures in dating here.

A look at how to keep a Woman on the String

So one of my semi-regular reading grounds is Women.com, a site that’s pretty much geared towards teenage girls who think people like Ashton Kuchar are dreamy. Anyway, they got some message boards on there where girls post their problems and other girls answer. Sometimes the advice is good, sometimes not, but regardless it’s there. In fact, I’d say it’s *close* to how us guys use mASF.

Anyway, I was browsing through the forum recently and came across a post entitled “We had a huge fight.” So I checked it out, and was actually kind-of amused at what was going on there.

Momma Shan writes:
Ok so here is the deal….My guy and I have been seeing each other for about a year now. He is the classic I want you but I dont want you that close type of guy.

Translation: He’s a player.

Everyone knows that Valentines is approaching and his birthday is the week after. I have really been working very hard towards making his birthday very special for him.

Translation: This guy is the prize in her world. She’s dead set on pleasing him because she’s not getting the kind of “closeness” she so desperately wants from him. He’s got her on “the string.”

I first have to mention that I am a very insecure young lady. A past surgery of this year has left my body scarred and what I think is not very attractive. The littlest thing makes me think that he is pulling away from me or doesnt find me attractive anymore.

This was pretty obvious to me. Most girls ARE insecure, especially about their looks because that’s how guys determine the girl’s worth most of the time. We all have things about our looks we don’t like, and I can understand how this surgery may make poor Momma Shan a little self-conscious. Though I’m sure she was acting this way BEFORE the surgery, because it sounds like she very much gets her self-worth from how this guy treats her.

So with this in mind let me continue…Yesterday was a horrible day for me. I hit a childs pet on the way to work. I stopped and told the family, the child was devastated and so was I. Needing a little comfort I called my B-Friend left him a message. He never called me back.

Typical prizing tactic. She needs him, and he’s letting her know he doesn’t need her. This upps her insecurity and increases his value in her eyes. It may upset her, sure, but it only makes that need for him greater.

Later in the day he text messaged me, something very trival! Without even realizing it we got into a agruement.

The guy probably didn’t even get the message, lol. Regardless, this is a typical example of Harshness and Kindness (something you can find in Robert Greene’s excellent book The Art of Seduction). He shows her a little attention, she lays a guilt trip on him because she’s upset, and he makes her feel guilty for laying that guilt on him by acting angry. Eventually, this will make her qualify herself again to get his approval.

I threw the fact that I was running around trying to kill myself making sure he got everything he wanted for his birthday and all he could do was be rude and hateful to me. So he in turn told me to ” TAKE IT ALL BACK ” this was something that he stayed very adamant about.

Genius. This guy reframed the arguement perfectly.

Of course by now I am upset and crying again. Then he just stops talking, texting, or anything to me. I Panic of course !! I always think that I have done something terribly wrong and he is going to never speak to me again.

Of course. This guy definitely knows what he’s doing. Poor Momma here is so wound up in her boyfriend’s reality, that she depends on it for her primary source of validation. So when he pulls back, when he takes it away — BOOM! She’s back on the string.

After work I went to his place I needed to get some business info I had left there over the weekend. He was at home so I tried to talk to him, he was very distant to me. I apologized to him, explained my day and actions, I guess you could say I pleaded my case. I felt better when I went to leave until I asked him for a kiss good-bye and he told me NO ! This just crushed me….We have been going through this sexual experimental phase. Trying new things and stuff. With my insecruities this isnt easy for me.

Wow, do you see how he got her to qualify herself here? And the not kissing thing — brilliant. He basically did Swinggcat Push/Pull here. He revalidated her insecurities about the fight earlier, and if he let it be at that, Momma would have walked out of there feeling good about herself and her mind would have been anywhere but on her BF. But by NOT kissing her, he created a new insecurity that needed validation, so instead she leaves obsessing over him yet again. And these insecurities are forcing her to do the “sexual experimentation” stuff because she thinks that’s the only way she’ll be able to keep him around.

I went home and did some thinking and realized my wrong doings in everything. I am able to spend more money and love to buy gifts for people I care about, and should not have thrown it in his face. I called and left him a message apologizing again. It is now Noon the next day and I still have not heard from him. I tried to contact hm about maybe going to lunch together. I know that telling me to take it all back was a natural response, and he doesnt want me to. And I never would !! I am very excited about the gifts that I have gotten him, because I knew he will love them !

Talk about “Prizing.” This is how you do it boys and girls. Make yourself unavailable. Give the girl the “gift of missing you,” as my buddy MasterClass would say. This will get her to obssess over you even more. Look at how she’s trying to please this guy! It’s amazing.

I guess my questions is what do I do now ?? Should I just not talk to him for awhile, not even try to contact him ?? And is this normal men reactions to fighting ?? Any advice that you guys could give me would be greatly appreciated.

I am very impressed with Momma’s boyfriend and how he’s gotten her hooked on him. I wonder if he’s in the community? More likely he’s just a natural with a low tolerance for female bullshit. Regardless, I found this post to be a great example of how some of our tricks work on women, but from their point of view. This poor girl just seems clueless to all this guy is doing to her, and you HAVE to respect that.

You can read the whole thread here.

TD & Playboy, Under Pressure

So Playboy posted a pretty good Field Report of an outting of his with TD. For those of you who don’t know, Playboy is living at the Project Hollywood mansion with Mystery, Style, Papa, and Herbal. From what I hear the guy has massive game and has been pulling chicks off Sunset reguarly along with his semi-regular wingman, the almighty TheOne.

TD is currently in town chilling with the PH crew, so this may give you an idea of their adventures in LA-LA land. You can read the whole thread here.

Although, whenever I think of the Project Hollywood crew, does anyone else get flashes of Top Gun running through their mind? Or is it just me?

GWM meets RSD

ijjjjji has a pretty interesting tip up on the tactics board.

ijjjjji writes:
When talking to a girl, let your eyes wander to another girl, then drop into sexual state for that girl. Its a kinda advanced technique, but you can do this easily when you get good at dropping into sexual state.

The effects of this varies a bit, but the most common reaction I get is that the girl I’m talking to starts touching me. Twice, girls grabbed and kissed me. Once, the girl I was talking to got mad and ran off.

I even have an opener that uses this. I walk up to target and say something like “OMG I love your top – what does the symbols mean?” and then I act like I suddenly notice a nearby girl and go totally ga-ga sexual state on her, like blanking out and just drooling over her. Target always tries to win my attention back, and it initiates the sexual undertones.

You can read the whole thread here.

Getting into Trendy Clubs

Keyser Soze posted a pretty cool little tactic about how to get into REALLY hard to get into bars and clubs. I know twenty-six has a method he uses that is a bit different than this one and almost as effective, but I won’t go into it here because I promised him I’d keep it a secret. =)

Keyser Soze writes:
Hey guys,

This is a ballsy move that my friend did at this really trendy club in my city.

Basically, there is always this huge line outside this club since this is where models, celebs and really rich dudes hang out. So my friend, who is waiting in line, calls the club and tells them that he is the manager of some trendy hotel in the city and says that he has two guests staying in an expensive suite that would like to come to the club. They asked what their names were and two minutes later him and his friend walk right up to the door and get past the line.

Of course, the more detail that you use, the better. That is to say, find out the name of the actual manager at the hotel and the name of the suite that they would be staying in. Plus, wear nice clothes that make you look rich.

I think that it was Rick H. that said you can get away with anything with enough authority…;)

Of course, skipping the line at this trendy club is MASSIVE social proof, and he had three hot girls approach him because they saw him skip the line and thought that he was somebody.

Just remember, should you get caught in a ballsy move, make an even BALLSIER move to recover. Look at the scene in Ferris Beuler at the restaurant for an example of this. Rick H is right, if you do anything with enough authority, people will believe you. Never admit defeat!

You can read the full thread here. Happy clubbing.

Strauss hits overseas

For those of you who haven’t read the NYT article, it’s been reprinted in the UK by the Observer, Guardian Unlimited. It’s pretty much the same thing, except with a slightly better title and no pictures. You can check it out here.

How do you Kill Negative Thoughts?

ironration started a thread which seems to have picked up on trying to overcome your negative thoughts with positive ones. I know this is something I’ve had a hard time with, especially when I first started out. Nothing’s worse than repeating affirmations when in the back of your mind you’re just thinking “This is bullshit.” You can check out the thread