Rules of an Affair

February 19, 2004 by  
Filed under Analysis

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David Shade posted a link to this on the EBSS list. It’s a really excellent article written by a woman who had a 3 year long affair with a married man, and figured out a series of rules to help keep an affair going. For all you “Dirk Manley” fans out there, this is essential reading! Here’s an exerpt:

On the eve of my 40th birthday, we went out for drinks at a hotel bar in midtown. I asked him whether I was crazy, or was there something between us? I wish that I had recorded that conversation. Steven was concerned about the implications at work. He wasn’t my direct boss, but he was more senior than I. I said I didn’t want two families wrecked by this. I also knew that I couldn’t wait to fuck him.

You can read the whole article here. It really is an eye opening little piece of literature. It’s the kind of thing that would make any married man paranoid, but there’s a lot of truth to it.

The fact of the matter is, most affairs come from a lack of sexual tension in a marriage — at least on the woman’s part. If a woman wants to keep her husband from having an affair, it’s pretty simple — lots of sex, good cooking, clean house, and don’t bitch too much. For a guy to keep a woman from cheating, it’s much, much more complicated, because women need to feel passion. They need to feel attraction. They need that sexual tension between a man and a woman.

That’s why I think the passage above is so telling. This Steven guy created a lot of sexual tension with this woman, and despite all the reasons NOT to do it, she couldn’t wait to fuck him. And the same is true of every girl in a relationship — if a guy knows how to create that sexual tension, that unbridled passion, any girl (and I mean ANY girl) will find a way to fuck him. Us Pick-Up Artists in the community know this is a reality, which is why some balk at the notion of long term committed relationships and marriage, because we stare into the abyss every day and see the ugly truth society and our mothers have tried so long to keep hidden.

The 2 1/2″ Syndrome

February 19, 2004 by  
Filed under Rants & Reviews

Sexkitten put up an interesting post on male genitalia.  And you know me, if it’s about male genitalia, I’m gonna post about it!!!!  =)

Sexkitten writes
Every time I open my email these days, I see ads for men to have penis enlargement surgery.  And yep, we women may have to take some of the blame.  (Do we make our men feel inadequate?  Do we really think that bigger is better?  I’ll address that later in another blog)

This is a sensitive issue for men, and many may be tempted, but it’s a BAD idea, folks.  I KNOW!  I had a boyfriend who did it.  He actually had three surgeries in one year.  One wasn’t enough, twice, three times, he’s still not satisfied.  Will he ever be satisfied?  I doubt it.  The problem is not his penis size.  He’s sick in the head, I believe.  And should have used that money to get psychological help.

The procedure is not only expensive—it’s painful, and very risky.  Yes, you run the risk of not being able to reach a full erection.  And that’s not the worst part, you could become impotent!!!  And eventually, you’ll be back to having the same old boy you had—and don’t get me started about the scars left on your behind where the fat was taken to be inserted into the penis.

And mentally you will be constantly worrying that something my have gone wrong—so wrong that even though you may be physically fine, you can’t stop worrying, which can affect you performing sexually.

Another interesting piece of information: the majority of men who gets this operation DO NOT need it.  They are average size or bigger.  I would suggest getting some professional help before taking this step.

Dick size is definitely a big issue for a lot of guys.  I rang in with my thoughts in the comment section of Sexkitten’s blog if you guys care to read it.  You can find the thread here.

The 2 1/2″ Syndrome

February 19, 2004 by  
Filed under Rants & Reviews

Sexkitten put up an interesting post on male genitalia.  And you know me, if it’s about male genitalia, I’m gonna post about it!!!!  =)

Sexkitten writes
Every time I open my email these days, I see ads for men to have penis enlargement surgery.  And yep, we women may have to take some of the blame.  (Do we make our men feel inadequate?  Do we really think that bigger is better?  I’ll address that later in another blog)

This is a sensitive issue for men, and many may be tempted, but it’s a BAD idea, folks.  I KNOW!  I had a boyfriend who did it.  He actually had three surgeries in one year.  One wasn’t enough, twice, three times, he’s still not satisfied.  Will he ever be satisfied?  I doubt it.  The problem is not his penis size.  He’s sick in the head, I believe.  And should have used that money to get psychological help.

The procedure is not only expensive—it’s painful, and very risky.  Yes, you run the risk of not being able to reach a full erection.  And that’s not the worst part, you could become impotent!!!  And eventually, you’ll be back to having the same old boy you had—and don’t get me started about the scars left on your behind where the fat was taken to be inserted into the penis.

And mentally you will be constantly worrying that something my have gone wrong—so wrong that even though you may be physically fine, you can’t stop worrying, which can affect you performing sexually.

Another interesting piece of information: the majority of men who gets this operation DO NOT need it.  They are average size or bigger.  I would suggest getting some professional help before taking this step.

Dick size is definitely a big issue for a lot of guys.  I rang in with my thoughts in the comment section of Sexkitten’s blog if you guys care to read it.  You can find the thread here.

The Harsh Reality of PAIMAI

February 19, 2004 by  
Filed under Quotes & Humor

Found this on the A Bad Man in a Bad Place blog.

On the subway, none of the cute girls with good skin and high heels would make eye contact with me, either uptown on the E or downtown on the 9.  The only woman who would was a fifty something very beautiful woman who, to my dismay, intimidated me.  I lost eye contact with her.  She just stared. And stared.  And was around 50.

Failure is not a bad thing.  Not trying is where the trouble starts.

LOL.  Where’s a false opinion opener when you need one?
          

Hurrydate AFCs

February 19, 2004 by  
Filed under Analysis

Ah, you gotta love Carly. Her blog PORNBLOGRAPHY is one of the wittiest, funniest, and smartest things I’ve ever seen associated with porn (with the exception of “Perversions 5,” that is). This week, Carly’s gotten especially devious in a very TD-esque way when a friend of hers invited her to go to a “HurryDate” event (a SpeedDating sort of thing where people get 1 minute to meet each other and decide if they want to go out).

Anyway, here’s the breakdown:

Carly writes:
I elected to turn the evening into an experiment of sorts. I decided that I would tell every one of my suitors that I worked in porn, while Adella would refrain from any mention of it. The end result, of course, would be for us to see how many people picked each of us based on that.

So here’s how her experiment went:

Him: So what do you do for a living?
Me: PR for porn.
Him: (Pause.) Really?
Me: Yes.
Him: Does the porn industry really need PR?
Me: Can you name me the last movie Jenna Jameson released?
Him: No.
Me: There’s your answer.
Him: I don’t know whether or not to believe you.
Me: What, you think I’d make this shit up?
Him: Well, I dunno… I met you, what. Two seconds ago?
Me: Believe me, if I were going to make something up, it would be something that didn’t include decoding industry terminology such as ATOGM.
Him: What’s that?
Me: Never mind.

TWEET!

Him: I work in entertainment. What do you do?
Me: I work in entertainment as well.
Him: Oh yeah? What facet?
Me: The blue facet.
Him: (Whispering.) Adult?
Me: Yup.
Him: Wow, that’s interesting. What do you do?
Me: Just blow job movies.
Him: (Long pause, face starts to flush.) So… you’re… a porn star?
Me: Yep.
Him: (Sitting back in his chair.) Really?!
Me: No. I do PR.
Him: (Somewhat dejected.) Oh.

TWEET!

Ha ha ha. I like this last one. Carly, being the hot chick she is, really knows how to fuck with guys, especially when it comes to dangling “the sex” before them.

Him: So what do you do for a living?
Me: PR for porn.
Him: Really?
Me: Why does everyone think I’m making that up?
Him: Well, it’s not something you run into every day.
Me: It is if you live in the Valley.
Him: Good point. So how’d you get into that?
Me: Total fluke. I answered a job posting for AVN, and then I went to work for Metro as their publicist. Ron Jeremy is their contract boy.
Him: Ron Jeremy… man. Does that guy still do porno?
Me: Kinda. He tries, at least.
Him: He’s gotta be the ugliest guy I’ve ever seen. He’s, like, the Penguin from Batman Returns.
Me: (Gales of laughter.)

TWEET!

Now this guy seems to have gotten it. Nice little Cocky/Funny play. He’s the only one Carly seemed to like.

Him: And you?
Me: I work in porn.
Him: Doing what?
Me: PR.
Him: Tell me about fetishes.
Me: What about them?
Him: What kinds are there?
Me: I dunno… you name it, it’s likely a fetish.
Him: Well, like, what kind of fetishes have you seen?
Me: Foot, natural breast, young girls…
Him: No, like weird ones.
Me: I don’t know that I find anything that weird anymore. I’m incredibly jaded now. Even the video I had to review that featured a naked chick rubbing herself with balloons for an hour doesn’t seem that strange anymore.
Him: What about those people who dress up in costume.
Me: Oh, furries?
Him: Yeah!
Me: That’s so last year.
Him: (Spilling his drink all over the table.) Oh damn… hey, I got you wet! Ha! Get it?
Me: (Rolling eyes.)

TWEET!

This sounds like my last attempt at a Pick-Up. =)

Him: So what do you do for work?
Me: Porn for PR. No, wait, that came out wrong. PR for porn.
Him: Do you get dental with that?
Me: What, did you just finish watching Grosse Pointe Blank?

TWEET!

Him: So are you entrepreneurial in nature?
Me: You could say that. I work for myself.
Him: Doing what?
Me: Porno PR.
Him: Really? Wow, that’s adventurous. I’m adventurous too. In fact, I at one time considered getting into the industry myself. As a performer.
Me: Uh… huh.
Him: Really, because my adventurous nature—
Me: (Silently praying for the whistle to blow…)

TWEET!

Hmmm. Sounds like someone’s been studying SS.

Him: So how’s your night going so far?
Me: Really well, actually, and yours?
Him: I’m having fun.
Me: That’s good. What’s the strangest question you’ve been asked so far tonight?
Him: I haven’t had any strange questions.
Me: Do you do anal?
Him: (Long pause.) Uhm… like how do you mean?
Me: Y’know, give or receive?
Him: Ahh… I guess it would depend on the woman?

TWEET!

HAHAHAHA… wow, what a state-breaking question. I love how Carly just runs the show in her interactions with people. What a great example of controling the underlying meaning of an interaction. Carly really DOESN’T care about getting together with these guys. She’s coming from a power position, and they’re all supplicative AFCs. The only one who seems to have passed the mustard was the guy who poked fun at Ron Jeremy, but I don’t think he really created any attraction.

The cardnal sin these guys committed was that they asked her questions. They let her set the frame by getting wrapped up in the porno end of things. Can you imagine what would have happened if one of these guys sat down and asked HER if she does anal? And then acted unimpressed by the fact she worked in porn and bypassed the subject to things HE wanted to talk about? That’s what it comes down too.

I’m very guilty of falling into the “question asking” phase of dealing with a woman. I think Juggler said it best when he stated “You only have a certain ammount of questions in the bank with a girl. Once you go into debt, it’s over.” So you gotta use your questions wisely, and never ask questions that allow her to set the frame of the interaction.

You can read the whole thread of Carly’s adventures in dating here.

A look at how to keep a Woman on the String

February 19, 2004 by  
Filed under Analysis

So one of my semi-regular reading grounds is Women.com, a site that’s pretty much geared towards teenage girls who think people like Ashton Kuchar are dreamy. Anyway, they got some message boards on there where girls post their problems and other girls answer. Sometimes the advice is good, sometimes not, but regardless it’s there. In fact, I’d say it’s *close* to how us guys use mASF.

Anyway, I was browsing through the forum recently and came across a post entitled “We had a huge fight.” So I checked it out, and was actually kind-of amused at what was going on there.

Momma Shan writes:
Ok so here is the deal….My guy and I have been seeing each other for about a year now. He is the classic I want you but I dont want you that close type of guy.

Translation: He’s a player.

Everyone knows that Valentines is approaching and his birthday is the week after. I have really been working very hard towards making his birthday very special for him.

Translation: This guy is the prize in her world. She’s dead set on pleasing him because she’s not getting the kind of “closeness” she so desperately wants from him. He’s got her on “the string.”

I first have to mention that I am a very insecure young lady. A past surgery of this year has left my body scarred and what I think is not very attractive. The littlest thing makes me think that he is pulling away from me or doesnt find me attractive anymore.

This was pretty obvious to me. Most girls ARE insecure, especially about their looks because that’s how guys determine the girl’s worth most of the time. We all have things about our looks we don’t like, and I can understand how this surgery may make poor Momma Shan a little self-conscious. Though I’m sure she was acting this way BEFORE the surgery, because it sounds like she very much gets her self-worth from how this guy treats her.

So with this in mind let me continue…Yesterday was a horrible day for me. I hit a childs pet on the way to work. I stopped and told the family, the child was devastated and so was I. Needing a little comfort I called my B-Friend left him a message. He never called me back.

Typical prizing tactic. She needs him, and he’s letting her know he doesn’t need her. This upps her insecurity and increases his value in her eyes. It may upset her, sure, but it only makes that need for him greater.

Later in the day he text messaged me, something very trival! Without even realizing it we got into a agruement.

The guy probably didn’t even get the message, lol. Regardless, this is a typical example of Harshness and Kindness (something you can find in Robert Greene’s excellent book The Art of Seduction). He shows her a little attention, she lays a guilt trip on him because she’s upset, and he makes her feel guilty for laying that guilt on him by acting angry. Eventually, this will make her qualify herself again to get his approval.

I threw the fact that I was running around trying to kill myself making sure he got everything he wanted for his birthday and all he could do was be rude and hateful to me. So he in turn told me to ” TAKE IT ALL BACK ” this was something that he stayed very adamant about.

Genius. This guy reframed the arguement perfectly.

Of course by now I am upset and crying again. Then he just stops talking, texting, or anything to me. I Panic of course !! I always think that I have done something terribly wrong and he is going to never speak to me again.

Of course. This guy definitely knows what he’s doing. Poor Momma here is so wound up in her boyfriend’s reality, that she depends on it for her primary source of validation. So when he pulls back, when he takes it away — BOOM! She’s back on the string.

After work I went to his place I needed to get some business info I had left there over the weekend. He was at home so I tried to talk to him, he was very distant to me. I apologized to him, explained my day and actions, I guess you could say I pleaded my case. I felt better when I went to leave until I asked him for a kiss good-bye and he told me NO ! This just crushed me….We have been going through this sexual experimental phase. Trying new things and stuff. With my insecruities this isnt easy for me.

Wow, do you see how he got her to qualify herself here? And the not kissing thing — brilliant. He basically did Swinggcat Push/Pull here. He revalidated her insecurities about the fight earlier, and if he let it be at that, Momma would have walked out of there feeling good about herself and her mind would have been anywhere but on her BF. But by NOT kissing her, he created a new insecurity that needed validation, so instead she leaves obsessing over him yet again. And these insecurities are forcing her to do the “sexual experimentation” stuff because she thinks that’s the only way she’ll be able to keep him around.

I went home and did some thinking and realized my wrong doings in everything. I am able to spend more money and love to buy gifts for people I care about, and should not have thrown it in his face. I called and left him a message apologizing again. It is now Noon the next day and I still have not heard from him. I tried to contact hm about maybe going to lunch together. I know that telling me to take it all back was a natural response, and he doesnt want me to. And I never would !! I am very excited about the gifts that I have gotten him, because I knew he will love them !

Talk about “Prizing.” This is how you do it boys and girls. Make yourself unavailable. Give the girl the “gift of missing you,” as my buddy MasterClass would say. This will get her to obssess over you even more. Look at how she’s trying to please this guy! It’s amazing.

I guess my questions is what do I do now ?? Should I just not talk to him for awhile, not even try to contact him ?? And is this normal men reactions to fighting ?? Any advice that you guys could give me would be greatly appreciated.

I am very impressed with Momma’s boyfriend and how he’s gotten her hooked on him. I wonder if he’s in the community? More likely he’s just a natural with a low tolerance for female bullshit. Regardless, I found this post to be a great example of how some of our tricks work on women, but from their point of view. This poor girl just seems clueless to all this guy is doing to her, and you HAVE to respect that.

You can read the whole thread here.

TD & Playboy, Under Pressure

February 18, 2004 by  
Filed under Field Report

So Playboy posted a pretty good Field Report of an outting of his with TD. For those of you who don’t know, Playboy is living at the Project Hollywood mansion with Mystery, Style, Papa, and Herbal. From what I hear the guy has massive game and has been pulling chicks off Sunset reguarly along with his semi-regular wingman, the almighty TheOne.

TD is currently in town chilling with the PH crew, so this may give you an idea of their adventures in LA-LA land. You can read the whole thread here.

Although, whenever I think of the Project Hollywood crew, does anyone else get flashes of Top Gun running through their mind? Or is it just me?

GWM meets RSD

February 18, 2004 by  
Filed under Tips & Tricks

ijjjjji has a pretty interesting tip up on the tactics board.

ijjjjji writes:
When talking to a girl, let your eyes wander to another girl, then drop into sexual state for that girl. Its a kinda advanced technique, but you can do this easily when you get good at dropping into sexual state.

The effects of this varies a bit, but the most common reaction I get is that the girl I’m talking to starts touching me. Twice, girls grabbed and kissed me. Once, the girl I was talking to got mad and ran off.

I even have an opener that uses this. I walk up to target and say something like “OMG I love your top – what does the symbols mean?” and then I act like I suddenly notice a nearby girl and go totally ga-ga sexual state on her, like blanking out and just drooling over her. Target always tries to win my attention back, and it initiates the sexual undertones.

You can read the whole thread here.

Getting into Trendy Clubs

February 18, 2004 by  
Filed under Tips & Tricks

Keyser Soze posted a pretty cool little tactic about how to get into REALLY hard to get into bars and clubs. I know twenty-six has a method he uses that is a bit different than this one and almost as effective, but I won’t go into it here because I promised him I’d keep it a secret. =)

Keyser Soze writes:
Hey guys,

This is a ballsy move that my friend did at this really trendy club in my city.

Basically, there is always this huge line outside this club since this is where models, celebs and really rich dudes hang out. So my friend, who is waiting in line, calls the club and tells them that he is the manager of some trendy hotel in the city and says that he has two guests staying in an expensive suite that would like to come to the club. They asked what their names were and two minutes later him and his friend walk right up to the door and get past the line.

Of course, the more detail that you use, the better. That is to say, find out the name of the actual manager at the hotel and the name of the suite that they would be staying in. Plus, wear nice clothes that make you look rich.

I think that it was Rick H. that said you can get away with anything with enough authority…;)

Of course, skipping the line at this trendy club is MASSIVE social proof, and he had three hot girls approach him because they saw him skip the line and thought that he was somebody.

Just remember, should you get caught in a ballsy move, make an even BALLSIER move to recover. Look at the scene in Ferris Beuler at the restaurant for an example of this. Rick H is right, if you do anything with enough authority, people will believe you. Never admit defeat!

You can read the full thread here. Happy clubbing.

Strauss hits overseas

February 18, 2004 by  
Filed under News

For those of you who haven’t read the NYT article, it’s been reprinted in the UK by the Observer, Guardian Unlimited. It’s pretty much the same thing, except with a slightly better title and no pictures. You can check it out here.

How do you Kill Negative Thoughts?

February 18, 2004 by  
Filed under Tips & Tricks

ironration started a thread which seems to have picked up on trying to overcome your negative thoughts with positive ones. I know this is something I’ve had a hard time with, especially when I first started out. Nothing’s worse than repeating affirmations when in the back of your mind you’re just thinking “This is bullshit.” You can check out the thread

Conversations in Pornoland

February 17, 2004 by  
Filed under Quotes & Humor

I read a pretty funny post by Carly on her blog Pornblography (BTW, she’s auctioning off a lot of porn memorabelia for all you freaks out there).  Anyway, she transcribed a conversation she had with a guy about banging a porno star that I thought was pretty funny, if not a little revealing.

Carly writes:
CONVERSATIONS IN PORNOLAND

Him: So you remember that porn girl I was telling you about that was staying with me last year?

Me: No, but go on.

Him: She’s coming to LA and says we should hang out.

Me: Oh yeah.

Him: She’s annoying. She’s a fundamentalist vegan.

Me: Uh huh.

Him: She’s obsessed with nutrition the way I’m obsessed with pornography. She only eats wheatgrass and soy, and she needs to do an enema every two days as a result.

Me: If she’s in porno she needs to do enemas anyway.

Him: She doesn’t do anal.

Me: Then she’s not a porn star.

Him: That’s what I tell her. I tell her, "Come back when you’re ready to do real porno." She doesn’t swallow because of the veganism either. I saw on a website saying something like, “This girl is a vegan, but she still enjoys meaty cock.”

Me: Call PETA!

Him: She sucks dick horribly. Terrible technique.

Me: Does that have anything to do with her veganism?

Him: I dunno. One time I came on her and she didn’t know that thing about when jizz and water mix. She was yelling, “Oh my God, it won’t come off!”

Me: Yeah, you gotta wipe that off first.

Him: Yes you do.

Me: So are you going to fuck her?

Him: Fuck no. I’m done. I wouldn’t even let her use her hand on me. She had this thing about “I need to be in love to have sex,” but she’d suck cock three times a day. If you’re sucking cock, why won’t you just get fucked? It’s not that big of a line. What a bozo.

Me: You’re just mad because she wouldn’t fuck you.

Him: No, it’s not that she wouldn’t fuck me, it’s how she wouldn’t fuck me. She’d pull all this drama. And her personality… it’s so annoying.

Me: Yeah, but I bet if she fucked you you’d overlook her personality.

Him: No.

Me: Suuuuuuuure.

LOL.  So what’s the moral of the story, kids?  Simple:  Water and Jizz don’t mix.  =)

Actually, I think the part about the girl willing to give head, but not have sex is pretty interesting.  I know Swinggcat has this concept of "sexual barriers" that is very similar, which is basically the concept behind why some girls might not feel comfortable kissing you, but would still be willing to fuck you.  Most guys might think "Oh, I gotta kiss her and then try to have sex with her," when in reality, you may need to do the reverse.

Something to think about, anyways.

You can also check this post out on Carly’s blog here.

The Science of Love

February 17, 2004 by  
Filed under Tips & Tricks

Chumly from the Copenhagen Lair sent me an interesting article on the science behind why people fall in love. It’s a long, technical article about the nitty-gritty of why people love and how they form relationships. While reading it, I was often reminded of conversations with Mystery, who loves to try and break down love, sex, and relationships by comparing them to acts in nature and animalistic instincts (female grouse, anyone?). Anyway, my puny brain is much too small to comprehend ALL the information presented in this article, but maybe yours is and you can post more about it in the comments section.

You can read the treatise here.

Doc Love, Bad Advice?

February 17, 2004 by  
Filed under Analysis

So I was checking out the Dating & Romance section of Askmen.com today and read the latest Doc Love article. Now, I don’t know much about the good Doctor… in fact, this is the first article I’ve read of his. He has a bit of good advice to share, but overall, I think he’s a little off with his mindset. For example, in the latest article, a guy named Kieth chimes in:

Kieth writes:
Hey Doc,

My problem is a little unusual. I’m looking to you for some good advice.

I was dating Samantha for about seven months before she had to go out of state to attend the best university business program in the country. (She was accepted before she even met me.) She said that if she’d met me beforehand, she would have accepted another offer she got that was closer to home, but as it is, she’s going to be gone for a little over a year.

We’ve been doing the long-distance dating thing for about four months now and she’s always talking about how she wants to marry me. As far as calling and e-mailing me, she is completely consistent. I fly to see her and she flies to see me once a month. Once she finishes the program, our goal is to go to graduate school in the same city. In other words, things are going fine between us, but I have two concerns about our relationship.

So what we have here is your typical long distance relationship, or LDR for you acronym junkies out there (you know who you are). But looking at this from a Seducer standpoint, I’m already thinking this guy should have 1 or 2 other chicks on call while his main is off doing her “business program” thing. Reading this little bit, I’m wondering if this girl would be pushing the marriage thing so heavily if they WEREN’T doing the LDR thing. My thinking is that she’s insecure about the distance between them and wants to find a way to lock him into the relationship just for her own mental well being. But I digress…

Anyway, he goes on to describe the first concern he has.

Kieth writes:
1- Samantha constantly asks me when we are going to get engaged. She says it in a joking way, but I know that she’s serious. My question is, how should I respond? I’m completely in love with this girl and want to marry her, but what is the correct response to keep her Interest Level up? (Sometimes I joke that we should go to Las Vegas tomorrow. Other times I’ll give her a more serious answer and say that we’re headed in that direction. But I’m not sure that it would be the best idea to tie the knot so soon.)

Doc Love chimes in with the following advice:

Doc Love writes:
Tell her you’ll marry her.

The right thing to do is let Samantha know that the two of you will get engaged after she comes back from school. This girl is straining at the leash like a hungry Doberman — she’s completely gone over you and can’t wait to get back to you. And since you’re deeply in love with her, it makes sense to take that step.

It’s okay to give in to your girl here, buddy. (But make sure that she understands that she still has to be a nice girl when she’s away at school, otherwise there will be no engagement. Remember old Pavlov’s dog?)

Don’t worry about keeping her Interest Level up, pal. You’ve already pumped it into the stratosphere like a helium balloon — she’s going crazy for you right now! You’re actually underrating her Interest Level, Keith.

If this girl were any more nuts over you, she’d have to be committed. But don’t you go getting bent out of shape or going gaga over the situation. Hey, you’re not tying the knot just yet — you’re only buying time by telling your babe you’ll get engaged when she gets back.

First off, bad advice. BAAAAAAAAADDDDDDD advice! I’m a rank-and-file amateur seducer, and even I can see the vomitous proportions of shite the good doctor is spewing here.

Tell here you’ll marry her? Good God, man, why!?! The guy may WANT to marry her, sure, but don’t TELL her that! Part of the reason she’s so into him is because he’s doing the right thing right now, which is joking about it, sometimes dropping serious hints at the possibility, but never committing. THAT’S the thing that’s got her on the hook. If he comes out and tells her they’re going to get married, or should he propose (especially if she’s still LDR), he’s giving up his power in the relationship right there, and her interest level is gonna drop like a stone.

If it were me in Keith’s situation, I might drop hints like “Oh, if only you were here with me… I might have proposed to you already. But you’re not, so I guess it doesn’t matter.” Doing shit like that would get her visiting him EVERY WEEKEND, as opposed to him exherting himself and flying out to see her. He’s got some great tension going right now, and Doc wants him to destroy that! Oy. So much for Dating “Advice.”

Anyway, the second issue Keith is worried about:

Kieth writes:
2- Samantha cries at least twice a week when we’re on the phone about how she wants me to pretty much drop everything right now and come and live with her. She tells me that I won’t have to pay for anything, and that I can just live in her apartment. This week she took it a step further and gave me a sort of indirect ultimatum by telling me that she didn’t know how she was going to deal with living apart from me for a whole year. “You need to move down here right now,” she said. I found myself a little panic-stricken at the idea.

The Doc responds:

Doc Love writes:
She has a plan.

The reason Samantha’s begging you to move in with her right now is not because she’s a rigid or structured or hardheaded female, which is where most ugly ultimatums usually come from.

She’s doing this because her Interest Level is hitting the high 90s. Let’s face it, man; she’s ready to pay for everything. (Gee, I’m impressed, Keith. She’s gotta be the first woman in the history of mankind to make that statement!) And so you reacted, at least on the inside — you didn’t practice Self-Control.

Hopefully, you didn’t say anything to her at that moment. It’s okay to feel panic-stricken, but it’s not good to express it verbally to the one you love. As General Love puts it, “Never show weakness at the critical moment!”

But don’t lose any sleep over all this “pressure.” Samantha’s bluffing. She’s not going anywhere without you, Keith, as long as you keep playing your cards right.

I’d say the reason she’s begging is because Kieth has done an excellent job of getting Samantha to chase him! Whatever he’s doing is working, because the girl WANTS him, and that puts him in the power position. He’s gotta keep her on the string, so to speak, if he wants her to stay interested. If he gives in, I think any PUA worth his salt is gonna know this will open her up to getting Pick-Upped on by some halfway decent player at whatever school she’s attending. If he keeps her on the hook, he’ll bypass this because she’ll be too wrapped up in him to think about other guys (who you KNOW are probably already knocking on the door if she’s half-way decent looking).

So Doc redeems himself here with a bit of good advice to offset the bad. So far, I’m not too impressed with Doc Love’s insight, but I think he might have some interesting stuff to offer. If you want to check out the article, you can read it here.

Tips for Single Status

February 17, 2004 by  
Filed under Analysis

So I’m reading this article on Match.com entitled “Dateless for Valentine’s Day: Am I a Loser?” Usually, I don’t put too much stock in the stuff they put on Match.com because it’s mostly a watered-down PC advice column that’s designed to get people to use the service, that, and it’s mostly geared towards the supplicative “Women are the Prize” frame. So I didn’t have a date for VD, and when i saw the article I decided to check it out just to make sure whether I’m a loser or not, and surprizingly, I found some pretty decent advice in the column. Here’s what I liked:

Trish McDermott, VP of Romance, Match.com, writes:
Here are some other tips for dealing with your single status — and for helping Cupid find you a Valentine before next year’s lovefest:

1. Start with a clean slate
If you’re still smarting from a recent break-up, it’s time to purge the pain. Write her name on a rock, and toss it in a lake; scrawl it on a scrap of paper, and burn it. But don’t dwell on relationship failures. Instead, review what you could have done better or revisit danger signs you didn’t see (or heed) until it was too late. This will help you avoid similar miscues in the future, increasing your confidence because you’ll know you won’t be repeating bad patterns this time around.

2. Don’t be afraid to ask
Sometimes just asking is the best way to get what you’re looking for. List what you liked and disliked about your last few relationships. Create another list of qualities you appreciated in former girlfriends as well as the qualities you didn’t. Then use your lists to create your free profile.

3. Stretch your limits
How far would you go for love? Some people are willing to move thousands of miles for a chance at romance, while others won’t go further than the next block. Once you’ve determined your geographical boundaries, you can search for single women in that area and not waste time — yours or hers.

4. Dress for success
Look the part of the dashing romantic by enhancing your appearance. Drastic changes like we see on TV aren’t necessary, but a new haircut, a different trim of your beard or some new shirts could raise your stock — or at least your mood. Once you’ve upgraded your look, have your friend snap a few photos to post with your profile.

Now, this is not new or groundbreaking advice, but you’d be surprized at how simple stuff like dressing nice and writing shit down can help you advance your skills. I don’t think guys do this enough. Most of us are lazy, and I know that I’ve been guilty of this before. But when you really take the time to sit down and write out things like goals, sticking points, ideas, etc., your life really takes a turn for the better because you give it direction and purpose instead of floundering around haphazardly.

If you want to check out the full article, you can read it here.

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