Feeling Like You’re Not Good Looking Enough

August 27, 2010 by Thundercat
Filed under Analysis

Aum over on the attraction forums shared this heart-wrenching (and all too familiar) post…

Aum writes:
when i go to a club. I always get intimidated by the other guys in the club who are lot taller, well built and dress a lot better than me. When i see girls, i get this feeling of inadequacy. I really hate myself because of this. I am working out really hard every day and trying to dress better but never feel good enof. Any advice on chaning my perspective on this? please help!!! this is kiiling me.

I feel ya bro. Speaking as an overweight, bald, ugly slob myself, I know all too well what it feels like to walk into a club and see all these other guys who are way better looking than you are. Heck, even my friends who I go out with tend to be better looking than me! lol.

But here’s the thing…

First off, you gotta realize that this is NOT a competition. You look how you look, and other guys look how they look, so you need to stop comparing yourself to other dudes right away. There’s always going to be someone out there better looking, taller, funnier, smarter, richer, etc. than you are. So you can’t worry about them. If you feel the need to compete with those guys, you will ALWAYS lose, because you will always find people who have something you don’t.

The next thing you have to realize is that looks aren’t as important as most guys make them out to be. We tend to think that because we judge girls based on their looks, they judge us based on ours. And while that may be true for some women, the vast majority can see beyond your looks because women are affected more by their emotions than anything else. So if you have the ability and knowledge to make a woman feel the emotions you want her to feel, then you are on equal footing with the guys you think are more physically attractive than you.

Understand that PERSONALITY is the great equalizer in attraction. You can be an ugly guy, but if you’re funny and interesting, you can be more attractive to a girl than a male model is. Some women won’t go for physically unattractive guys, but some women will, because each woman has her own model of what she finds attractive and sexy. You just need to find the women that feel YOU fit their model and do your thing to get them. Don’t worry about the girls who want a guy who’s taller or better built than you are, because there are a billion other girls who will respond to what you have to offer.

The ability to build comfort, trust, and rapport, and then lead that into attraction is the most essential skill of any pick-up artist. With that model, you can get women who maybe aren’t interested in you at first, to BECOME interested in you eventually. This is important to understand, because attraction has nothing to do with logic or any of your pre-concieved notions of what women think are attractive.

Just know this – your self esteem is the greatest indicator of how successful you will be with attracting girls to you. The greater your self esteem, the more women you will attract. Guard it jealously! If you constantly put yourself down because you feel other guys are more attractive than you are, guess what? You’re not going to get ANY success with girls because you’ll be too busy sabotaging yourself. If you really want to get past this, you need to stop all judgement, and focus on the qualities about yourself that are POSITIVE and ATTRACTIVE, and stop worrying about how you compare to other people.

If you really want to learn more about this, check out my course Pure Personality. It’s all about how to get past your looks and build attraction based on who you are as opposed to what you look like.

Tags: attraction forums, create attraction, looks, personality