Feeling Like You’re Not Good Looking Enough

August 27, 2010 by  
Filed under Analysis

Aum over on the attraction forums shared this heart-wrenching (and all too familiar) post

Aum writes:
when i go to a club. I always get intimidated by the other guys in the club who are lot taller, well built and dress a lot better than me. When i see girls, i get this feeling of inadequacy. I really hate myself because of this. I am working out really hard every day and trying to dress better but never feel good enof. Any advice on chaning my perspective on this? please help!!! this is kiiling me.

I feel ya bro.  Speaking as an overweight, bald, ugly slob myself, I know all too well what it feels like to walk into a club and see all these other guys who are way better looking than you are.  Heck, even my friends who I go out with tend to be better looking than me!  lol.

But here’s the thing… Read more

Should You Meet A Girl At Her Place For A First Date?

August 27, 2010 by  
Filed under Tips & Tricks

Ali123, over on the Attraction Forums, had an interesting question about the wisdom concerning meeting women at their places for a date.

Ali123 writes:
Ok I’ve been doing this online gaming for a year or two but only inthe last 2-3 months has my game really improved and in fact I seem to be on a bit of a roll.

Do you guys think its a bad idea if a girl invites you over to her place for the first time you meet. In the last month been to 5 girls places as a first date/meet, I’ve slept with 3 of them. The other two didnt work out and didnt want to do anything. Of those two one ignored me and the other said she didnt want to see me again as she didnt fancy me. In fairness 3/5 isnt too bad.

But do you think its a bad environment to meet a girl? Are you more likely to fuck her if you meet her in a bar close to her place and get her to go back to hers? When you meet at their place its tough because you have to make chit chat etc and then make a move and no alcohol to help you!

Finally I was chatting to an HB7/8 on POF chat messenger, and shes told me to come to her place when I finish work on Sunday at 3am!!! Shes said her flatmates away, and I joked she’d be asleep, she had work the next day, and only if she can make a good cup of tea. But she continued to insist. Shes a hot girl and I dunno if I should meet her when I wont be looking my best. Surely its better to go for a drink and get a little tipsy?

Thoughts guys?

Contrary to popular belief, you DO NOT need to get a girl slightly drunk/tipsy before you make your move, my dear Ali123.  So I wouldn’t even worry about that.

Here’s the thing…

I think a girl who allows a guy she just met to come over to her place is a definite sign that she’s open to hooking up, as your 3 out of 5 ratio should tell you.  The way I like to work things, is I’ll invite a girl to my place when we have plans to go out, let her in, allow her a bit of time to become comfortable with my surroundings, then we go out to dinner or whatever.  So by the time the night is winding down, if I ask her to come back to my place, it won’t be that intimidating for her.

If a girl invites you to HER place, she already feels comfortable with the environment, so its much easier to hook up with her there.  At that point, the only thing you have to work on is comfort/rapport building and attraction, since the logistics are already in your favor.  And let’s face it, if a girl you’ve just met is allowing you into her place on a first date, she’s open to sleeping with you.  So no, I personally don’t think going to a girl’s place for a first date is a bad thing.

Now, if she doesn’t want to LEAVE her place and go out, that does seem a bit odd, since that isn’t really a “date” date.  When you go over to her place, you can ask her if she’d like to go grab a drink or a bite to eat somewhere close by, and then go back to her place afterward, but if she just wants to stay in, then maybe she is just looking for sex.  You have to treat each situation as it comes up, since some girls might just be boring sticks-in-the-mud and others might be looking for some hanky-panky.

But if given the opportunity, I will always accept an invitation to go to the girl’s place.  Yes, you can’t always control the environment – roommates, poor living conditions, etc. – but sometimes it can be better logistically.