5 Ways To Get Your Wife To Have More Sex With You

August 20, 2010 by Thundercat
Filed under Rants & Reviews

Just found an article on foxnews.com from some woman who has no clue about getting women to have sex with you advising men on how to get women to have sex with them. (Does that make sense?)

Anyway, check out the inane advice:

Logan Levkoff writes:
OK guys, stop all your whining and complaining for a second and listen up: If you want more sex from your wives, you have to grow up and recognize that people change, relationships change, and your sex life doesn’t stay the same.

As a sexologist, relationship expert, and contributor to Good in Bed, the one question I’m constantly asked is: “How can I get my wife to have more sex with me?” Well, I also happen to be a wife and mother of two little ones, so I’m going to give it to you straight. Here’s my advice for not screwing it up and actually getting some tonight:

1. Snuggle, Don’t Grope. You’re in the mood, so you reach out and grab us—our breasts, butt, or genitals, that is. Guys, believe me when I tell you that this is the biggest sin you can commit when trying to seduce a woman. It will not send us into an orgasmic swoon. (And, hey, if it does, you don’t need my advice, right?). Neither will groping us in the kitchen while we’re unloading the dishwasher.

These inept moves don’t get us all hot and bothered — they just upset us. Try hugging or kissing. Hold and squeeze our hand. Unload the dishwasher yourself. Women want to feel connected to our partners—in ways that don’t always involve sex.

As guys, you see something sexy and suddenly you’re in the mood for sex, ready to go. You pick up the mail, there’s a Victoria Secret catalog in the box, and next thing we know you’re sniffing in our direction like a dog expecting a treat. But women don’t work like that. We may see something that’s sexy, and that something may even be you, but we don’t suddenly want to have sex. That’s where men and women differ: You have to actually put us in the mood. You have to make us feel sexy and make us want to be sexual.

Here’s a tip: Did you know that studies show that if you hug for partner for 30 seconds it raises her oxytocin levels? Oxytocin is a hormone that makes us feel loving and connected and helps put us in the mood. So start with a hug.

2. Don’t Treat Us Like Porn Stars. Just because you can pay to watch a chick with fake boobs and a fake tan fawn all over some hairy, grunting guy doesn’t mean you can treat us like some 30-second money shot. Women crave seduction. We crave pleasure. We want sex to be, well, sexy, not like some third-rate porn production. I’m not saying you won’t get those little surprise treats now and then—but you’ve got to work for them. Luckily, the brain is our biggest sex organ, and most women have fantasy lives that leave your porn sites in the dust. You know one of the reasons why women aren’t more into porn? Because almost all of it is created by men and for men, who don’t have a clue about what really turns a woman on. Wanna know what does turn us on? Ask us, engage us. Which brings me to…
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3. Do Unto Others. Want hot sex? You have to provide us with the kind of sex we want to have. Simply put, you’ve got to give as good as you get. Do I need to spell it out for you? If you want us to use our mouths, you have to use yours, too! And if you do it first? All the better. Most women orgasm best from clitoral stimulation.

4. Give Us Space. It seems counterintuitive, but letting your partner have some time to herself can help her recharge. Offer to watch the kids for a few hours so she can meet a friend for coffee, take a book to the beach, or relax in a bubble bath. This “time off” lets her wind down so that later she’ll be ready to heat up. And by the way, watching your kids isn’t “babysitting”. They’re your children—play with them like you mean it. Be a dad, not a bachelor. Remember, a lot of us find nothing sexier than a dad who’s into his kids.

5. Talk—and Listen. I know, I know: Many of you would probably rather clean that toilet than be forced to “communicate.” But I’m not asking for an hours-long heart-to-heart here. Spending 20 minutes connecting with your partner and listening to her talk can help her feel appreciated. Avoid stressful topics like your kids, work, and home and stick to larger issues like current events and the world around you. Respond with full sentences, not grunts. If you can remember and repeat something she said 12 hours later, she’ll be impressed—and you’ll be one step closer to sex.

Okay, where to start with this…

First of all, I guess the woman who wrote this is a PhD in something, which might make you think she knows what she’s talking about. But honestly, none of this advice helps men get more sex with their wives or girlfriends. This advice is more along the lines of “how to not bother your partner while you are forced to masturbate alone in the bathroom.” Now, I’m not saying this advice is bad, necessarily. If you want a good relationship with a woman, this type of advice is actually pretty healthy. Treating your girl with respect and understanding, as well as giving her some space, can keep a relationship happy.

But more sex? C’mon…

If you’re married to a woman who isn’t giving you as much sex as you want, this is NOT the way to go about getting it in my opinion. I mean, having a partner who’s happy in the relationship certainly doesn’t hurt, but a lot of women don’t understand how important a good sex life is to keeping a GUY happy in a relationship.

Essentially, I’m of the believe that you need to TRAIN your woman to meet your sexual needs. That doesn’t mean I advocate treating them like a dog you are putting through obedience school, but you have to make it clear to them what you want, and how often you want it. You need to let your wife or girlfriend know how to make you happy, and you have to encourage them to want to do that.

Basically, if you want more sex, you have to game your wife. You have to flirt with her, let her know she’s sexy, that she turns you on. You need to whisper what you want to do to her. Make her feel amazing and sexy and desirable. Get her to start feeling like she did when you two first fell in love. All the advice from the PhD above is fine to follow, but if sex is what you’re after, you need to know how to seduce your woman. How to turn her on and get her ready to screw your brains out.

And having “porn star” type sex is NOT out of the boundaries of any relationship, if you set it up correctly. Most women want to please their partners, and if you want to experiment or try something new, you can usually get your partner to consent by talking about it and letting them know you want to try it. I think the thing to be aware of is not to force something your partner is uncomfortable with upon them, because then it stops being fun and exciting and becomes something they will resent you for.

A good example of this is threesomes. I’ve known lots of guys who wanted to introduce a “threesome” dynamic into their relationships, only to have it end the relationship they were in. Anything that destroys intimacy with your partner and makes them feel like they aren’t enough for you is a bad idea. But trying a new sex act or experimenting in what pleases you both is fine, if approached properly. If a woman is resistant to what you want to do, try and find out WHY she is resistant to it, and see if you can address her objections. But never, ever, FORCE it. Unless she’s 100% on board, it might actually damage your relationship.

One part of the article that is right on is that YOU, as a man, must know how to sexually satisfy your woman. If you are a good lover, that will make your partner want to be a good lover and reciprocate. So don’t let all the pleasure be focused on you! Make sure she’s getting something out of it first! Also, a woman is able to orgasm is more open to having sex more often, so knowing how to pleasure your wife or girlfriend is essential to getting more nookie. If you have no idea how to do this, ask your partner and tell them you want to “figure them out.” Some women get self-conscious about what makes them reach the big “O”, but if you genuinely want to figure it out, then they will probably be willing to let you.

Tags: girlfriend, relationships, sex, wife, wives