Erika Awakening Doesn’t Know What It Means When A Girl Dresses Sexy…
August 13, 2010 by Thundercat
Filed under Analysis
So I just got done reading the latest post on Erika Awakening’s blog. A reader wrote in with a simple question – what does it mean when a woman dresses sexy? Sounds like a simple enough question. In fact, here’s the missive in it’s entirety:
Hi, Erika -
I would very much like to get your perspective on this, and I thank you in advance for your time and advice.
Anyway, here it is: what I would like to know is when a woman leaves her house to go out – whether it be on an evening or just thru the day – does the way she dress give any clues whether she is looking to hook-up or not? For example, if a girl goes out showing a little more cleavage than usual, or her skirt is an inch or two higher than normal, or if she is wearing a little more make-up, is that significant? Or does a girl dress sexily primarily to just feel good about herself, or even to impress her female friends?
In addition, is a woman always aware of herself, the way she is looking, and the way she is portraying herself? By which I mean, if a woman crosses her legs in a man’s company and ends up showing a little too much leg, or has an extra button undone on her blouse, would you consider that as significant in that she is looking to hook up, or is wanting the man to approach?
Thank you,
Frank
What follows it literally a BOOK length response that really does nothing to answer poor Frank’s question.
Next time Frank, just email papa Thundercat for a more sussinct answer:
YES. The way a woman dresses gives you clues to whether she is looking to hook up or not.
(See Erika, it’s not that hard!)
If a woman gets done up, it’s because she’s looking to get attention from someone – usually men. Girls going out with their hair and make-up done, wearing provocative clothing, etc., are pretty much guaranteed to be looking for some male attention.
Does that mean they’ll be receptive to all men who approach them? No. But if they didn’t want the attention, they wouldn’t have gotten dolled up in the first place.
But a BETTER indicator of whether a woman is looking to hook-up is actually body language, rather than what they are wearing. Leaning how to spot Indicators Of Interest and other signals of attraction will give you a better idea of what the girl wants than if she happens to show a little too much leg while talking to you.
I will say from experience that if a woman gets “dolled up” before seeing you, it is usually an excellent sign that she likes you and is trying to attract you to her. So her showing up looking like a million bucks should be taken as an IOI in and of itself.
There ya go. A better answer with half the words. lol.
And to complete my one-upsmanship of Erika’s post, here’s an even sexier picture…
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Hello Thundercat,
What a polite way for us to meet … well, politeness is overrated anyway.
It’s funny that one of us in this situation is an actual live, living, breathing WOMAN … who knows what gets her into bed (hint: it’s not you) …
And the other of us is yet another man who doesn’t have a clue what he’s talking about and doesn’t understand the first thing about most women’s emotional reality.
You want to try to get one of my friends in bed? Good luck to you … based on this article. It ain’t never going to happen. :p
cheers,
Erika
I think I’ve slept with more women than you have, so I’m willing to go out on a limb here and say I know more of what I’m talking about.
Now – please don’t read this post as an attack on you. That’s not it’s intention. I’m not saying the advice in your post was bad, but it was very, very, VERY girlie and woo-woo. Honestly, my experience tells me that when a woman gets dolled up, she’s looking for attention. Would you disagree with that?
And if she gets the right kind of attention, she’s probably more pre-disposed to hooking up than she would be if she didn’t feel like she was looking very good. Would you disagree with that?
So that’s all I’m saying. You don’t need to go into 12 pages of “emotional intelligence” to answer that type of question. It’s pretty simple.
Again, you may be a living breathing woman, but very few women actually are aware of the over-arching psyche of women beyond themselves, so you’ll have to forgive me if I don’t instantly consider you an authority on picking up chicks just because you have some boobies and a vajay-jay. In my experience, philosophy and introspective analysis are a poor substitute for actual experience, and though you might not believe it, I’ve had quite a bit of experience picking up women in my day.
Also – FYI – that picture wasn’t meant to be “sexier” than your picture. You’re pic is way sexier, in all seriousness. After re-reading the post I could see how one could interpret that as the “fat naked guy is sexier than Erika Awakening,” lol. That wasn’t my intention, in my mind I was like “well, if Erkia is putting a sexy pic on her blog, I must put one on my blog that out-does her level of sexiness!” Unfortuneately, that was the sexiest pic of a man I had on my computer. Ha ha. So, sorry if you read it that way – it wasn’t my intention.
And should you ever introduce me to any of your friends, we’ll have to see if I can get them in bed. We can set up a whole “candid camera” affair. You can work the camera.
My dear Thundercat,
I took no offense at the photo of the extremely morbidly obese man on your post, as he did not appear to have nearly as nice an ass as I do …
Nonetheless, I appreciate your gallantry in caring how I might have felt … it’s that kind of EMPATHY that is sorely lacking with many of the coaches in the community and most of the students … empathy is THE missing link for many of these guys …
Now, I will acknowledge that there are many women who are not fully conscious of how they make sexual decisions. I am not one of them. I simply do not have one night stands or same night lays, period. I have been in bed with some of the world’s finest Casanovas, and I don’t care how sexy I dressed that evening, I am not having sex.
So the community has set guys out there with totally unrealistic expectations of … wow, if I just use the perfect “opener” and then I get an “IOI” and I use a “neg” and then I “escalate” I can lay any woman in the world!!! Yippeeeeeee …
Bullshit. I’ve yet to see the guy who can same night lay me.
Now I did have some mixed feelings about that post that I’m probably going to put in a comment on the post when I get a moment … explaining why I wrote it the way I did.
And, finally, frankly, I don’t think your article is saying anything that different than what I said, except I didn’t see in your article the kind of empathy that I saw in your comment to me.
I gotta run, so I don’t know how coherent this comment will turn out to be, but like I said, will add some explanatory commentary to the post so it’s more clear why I wrote it the way I did.
Until soon,
- Erika
“And, finally, frankly, I don’t think your article is saying anything that different than what I said, except I didn’t see in your article the kind of empathy that I saw in your comment to me. ”
Well Erika, that was kinda the point of the article. lol. Answer the guy’s question without 12 pages of theory on emotional empathy. Say in one word what you said in twenty, etc.
And I’d like to reiterate my point here about female dating coaches NOT applying their own beliefs, preferences, and values on all other women. That’s my biggest problem with women who teach pick up. They think they are “special flowers” and just because something won’t work on them means it won’t work on all other women.
I hate to break it to you, but though all women are different, they are not THAT different.
I know plenty of women who’ve slept with guys after openers, negs, IOIs, escalation, and any other community term you care to use. The fact is, this stuff does work. That’s why guys keep doing it. Now, it may not work on YOU, but that doesn’t mean other women won’t go for it.
I do agree with you that “emotional empathy” (I like to use the term “rapport,” or “connection,” but whatever) is powerful and necessary to successfully close a chick, at least in the way I do things, but not all guys need or want to do that.
However, the crux of the issue here was the question your reader asked, and though YOU might not be willing to hook up with a guy if you bother to get done up to go out, that does not mean EVERY woman won’t. In fact, I’d say you’re the exception, since most girls dress up to attract attention from guys when they go out.
So just be careful about how you make these blanket statements because you, as an individual, wouldn’t operate a certain way. I find that most women are unaware of how they’d really react until a certain type of situation happens, and in my experience, it’s easier to pick up a girl who feels she’s attractive than one who’s feeling insecure about how she’s dressed.
Erika Awakening is so emotionally unstable, her PSYCHIATRIST has bulimia.
Ross, you know I dislike you. But that was damn funny. lol.
Erika has been gangbanged by felons so often, she has to use a sham-wow for a tampon.
Thanks a lot, I’m here all week.
Erika is so ugly, when she was born, the Doctor slapped the afterbirth.
Thanks a lot. I’ve got a million of ‘em. Tip your waiters and waitresses!
I don’t want to say Erika is really a man, but why do her tits look like a bikini waxed scrotum that’s been shoved in a sling-shot?
Thanks a lot. I’m here all week.
I’m way too chicken-shit to say these things to Erika’s face. It’s a scientific fact that tranny’s are very violent people.
Thanks a lot. Comedy is my calling.
Haha Pretty funny Ross, I will be calling in to the show and hopefully i can get on.
Ross you arent that funny can see why you didnt make it as a comedy writer.
ross, just go suck on kezias bosoms
You say that as though it’s something he DOESN’T desperately want to do. lol.