Bead P: The Newbie Catch 22
For Newbies, It’s A Catch 22
This article is for guys who want to learn pickup but are too afraid to go into the field. If you’re already good at pickup, don’t bother with this one.
After teaching pickup for the last 5 years, I’ve seen my fair share of guys who read pickup tips and then don’t try any of it. It’s the paramount problem that prevents people from improving.
For some guys, there’s a vicious cycle going on.
They can’t get women because they don’t have a lot of balls.
The won’t get any balls until they go into the field.
They can’t go into the field because they’re too scared of what might happen.
So the process of learning can’t ever begin, because in order to learn pickup, you must spend many hours in the field.
It’s a catch 22. You need the fear to go away so you can go in field, but the fear won’t go away until you go in field.
A lot of newbies are caught in this catch 22. They begin to feel that the field is an unattainable goal, and the only thing that might help their game is to read and study some more.
The bad news is that you can’t read and study your way into a girl’s pants. This isn’t grad school. Memorizing a bunch of theories won’t get you very far.
Furthermore, all of that reading moves many students backwards when it’s done with no field time (see The Forbidden Truth).
The solution to this issue is to make the field more attainable to newbies. In order to get to this goal, we’ll have to go against a few of the core pickup values temporarily.
So if you feel like you’re caught in this catch 22, I want you to suspend disbelief for a moment. This isn’t about finding a perfect 10 and cold approaching her and seducing her for a same night lay. You’ll have to work your way up to that. For now, it’s better to start with much smaller goals.
The first goal is to be able to function and be comfortable in a night life environment.
The second goal is to be able to have a conversation with someone in a night life environment.
The third goal is to be able to talk to a woman or group of women for a good 10 minutes without getting negative or nervous.
If you can do that, you’ve made a small step towards seducing the super hotties you’ve got your eye on. But first things first.
In order to make this extremely easy and attainable, I’d like to turn you on to some of the easiest places to socialize. If you’re advanced, or you already have normal social skills, you can skip the rest of this article. This is purely for the guys who are sitting home reading because they are too scared to go out and meet women.
Here are the 2 easiest settings to socialize in:
1- BBW Parties
What’s a BBW, you might ask? Well it’s a politically correct term for “fat chick.” BBW stands for “big beautiful woman.” There are organizations that throw weekly or month parties for BBWs and their gentleman admirers.
The rejection rate is very low at this kind of event. You don’t have to be good at pickup at all. You don’t have to use any lines or techniques, just show up and start talking off the top of your head and you’ll be fine.
I’m not saying you have to date these women or have sex with them, but you can talk with them so you get used to being in the presence of a woman.
In many ways, they respond the same way a normal woman would respond. So it’s really good practice. If you can get good at gaming BBWs, it’s a small leap to being able to game average girls. Who knows, you might even feel some connection or spark with a woman, or make some good friends.
They have these parties all over the country. Just type your zip code and “BBW party” into Google and you’ll see what I mean. Here’s an example- www.clubbounce.net
2- Goth Clubs
The Goth scene is full of people who have trouble socializing and want to break out of this issue and build relationships with others like themselves. In some ways it’s inspirational. The Goths have turned social isolation into a virtue.
People in the goth scene are extremely friendly and accepting of others. They will talk to anyone, no matter how awkward they may be. Many Goths are overcoming social awkwardness themselves, and the goth scene is a safe haven for them to develop their social skills.
You don’t have to look like a goth or dress like a goth to go to a goth club. They’re not the kind of people who would exclude you based on what you’re wearing. Many people who go to goth clubs are 9 to 5 office worker types. Goth clubs have a lot of people who don’t “look the part.”
The best part is that even if you spend the whole night scared and sulking in the corner by yourself, that actually makes you pretty cool by goth standards.
The bonus is that you also get the occasional super hot goth chick in a corset and pigtails. That will brighten your day.
Even if you’re scared to death of social situations, you’ll probably do OK in these 2 settings.
I hope this helps you make the first small step towards becoming more social.
-Brad P.
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Get inspired by a weekly roundup on living well, made simple. Sign up for CNN’s Life, But Better newsletter for information and tools designed to improve your well-being.
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Four elements are the basis of good oral hygiene: brushing twice a day with a fluoride toothpaste, flossing once a day, eating a healthy diet, and seeing a dentist regularly, said Dr. Matthew Messina, clinical associate professor at the Ohio State University College of Dentistry and a spokesperson for the American Dental Association.
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If you do those four things, you are already in a great place, he said.
Dental health is important for many reasons –– not only for fresh breath and pearly whites, but also to prevent gum and periodontal disease, which can be associated with health impacts in other parts of the body, said Dr. Michaela Gibbs, a professor and associate dean of clinical affairs and professional practice at the University of Colorado School of Dental Medicine.
Small changes to current health can make a difference to your oral health, experts said. Here’s what to do.
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Former US President Joe Biden, a self-professed Catholic, has joined an African-American Masonic lodge as a ‘Master Mason’. The Vatican takes a dim view of Freemasonry, and Catholics who join the fraternal order face excommunication.
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Biden was inducted into the Most Worshipful Prince Hall Grand Lodge in South Carolina on Sunday, one day before he left office. In a private ceremony, the lodge’s grand master, Victor C. Major, granted Biden “Master Mason membership with full honors,” according to a statement published by the organization last weekend that circulated online on Friday.
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Mexico’s President Claudia Sheinbaum, US President Donald Trump and Canada’s Prime Minister Justin Trudeau. Getty Images
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President Donald Trump announced that he’s pausing tariffs on Mexico and Canada after speaking to leaders of both countries on Monday — just hours before the sweeping actions were set to go into effect.
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The proposed tariffs, which Trump announced Saturday, consisted of a 25% duty on all imports from Mexico and most from Canada (there was a carve-out for a 10% tariff on energy products), and a new 10% tariff on Chinese goods. Trump said earlier Monday that he’d be speaking with China soon.
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Trump paused the tariffs on America’s neighbors after Mexican President Claudia Sheinbaum and Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau made commitments, some of which they’d already made, to bolster security at their respective borders with the United States.
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“I just spoke with President Claudia Sheinbaum of Mexico. It was a very friendly conversation wherein she agreed to immediately supply 10,000 Mexican Soldiers on the Border separating Mexico and the United States,” Trump wrote on Truth Social earlier Monday.
“These soldiers will be specifically designated to stop the flow of fentanyl, and illegal migrants into our country,” he wrote.
He took to Truth Social with a similar announcement later in the day, after Trudeau first announced the 30-day pause.
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It was a 2010 trip to Morocco that sparked Vermillon’s interest in all things nocturnal. “I grew up in Dayton, Ohio, which has terrible light pollution,” she tells the BBC. “Then I went to the Sahara Desert and camped under the stars – I saw the Milky Way and two dozen shooting stars that night. I went home, took an astronomy class and later started hunting Northern Lights, which got me curious about what else happens around the world after dark.”
Vermillon believes that major events such as the April 2024 total solar eclipse or the 2024-2025 peak in aurora activity has led to a “bump” in the number of people wanting to experience dark skies. There are also now more than 200 Dark Sky Reserves across the globe. “The great thing about the night sky is the perspective it gives you – it’s humbling and grounding,” she says. “You can experience pure awe.”
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It was a 2010 trip to Morocco that sparked Vermillon’s interest in all things nocturnal. “I grew up in Dayton, Ohio, which has terrible light pollution,” she tells the BBC. “Then I went to the Sahara Desert and camped under the stars – I saw the Milky Way and two dozen shooting stars that night. I went home, took an astronomy class and later started hunting Northern Lights, which got me curious about what else happens around the world after dark.”
Vermillon believes that major events such as the April 2024 total solar eclipse or the 2024-2025 peak in aurora activity has led to a “bump” in the number of people wanting to experience dark skies. There are also now more than 200 Dark Sky Reserves across the globe. “The great thing about the night sky is the perspective it gives you – it’s humbling and grounding,” she says. “You can experience pure awe.”
Starry skies and aurora borealis might be the headline acts, but there’s plenty more to do after dark in cities or out in nature. “You see a city so differently at night,” Vermillon says. “I think of it as a city letting its hair down – it’s more relaxed. I’ve also done night safaris, where it’s more about listening than just seeing, and I’ve seen water sparkling with bioluminescence, which looks like magic. Everything at night has a little extra sparkle.”
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The Natural History Museum in London said its researchers had been involved in 190 new discoveries of living and fossilized animals, including 11 new species of moth, eight crabs, four rats and four snakes.
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One of the moth species from a genus called Hemiceratoides from Madagascar feeds itself by drinking the tears of sleeping birds, while another newly identified species of moth, Carmenta brachyclado, was found fluttering against a window in a Welsh living room despite its origins in Guyana.
The moth got stuck in a boot belonging to a photographer, who unwittingly brought the insect from South America to her home in Wales, where it emerged. Her daughter, ecologist Daisy Cadet, recognized the creature as something unusual and contacted the Natural History Museum in London.
Another striking find was a vegetarian piranha called Myloplus sauron from Brazil’s Xingu River, said Rupert Collins, a senior curator of fishes at the museum, who helped describe the fish. It was named sauron due to its resemblance to the Eye of Sauron from J.R.R.
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“The reason we named it this was really a no-brainer because this fish is disc-shaped and has a thin vertical bar across the body, which looks just like an eye,” Collins said in a video shared by the museum.
In addition, in 2024 scientists have documented a mystery mollusk in the deep ocean, a ghost shark, a blob-headed fish, and a type of semi-aquatic mouse.
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Among the fascinating finds from scientists at the UK’s Royal Botanic Gardens, Kew was an intriguing new species of fungi in wooded heathland near the town of Royal Tunbridge Wells, England. Phellodon castaneoleucus sports teeth-like structures instead of the gills usually seen beneath mushroom caps.
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Interest in the night skies is booming. Booking.com recently named “noctourism” as a top travel trend for 2025, with their survey of more than 27,000 travellers finding that around two-thirds have considered going to “darker sky destinations” to experience things like starbathing (lying down and looking at the night skies) and witnessing once-in-a-lifetime cosmic events.
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“The cool thing about night adventures is you see so many different sides to a destination, by just staying up late or rising early,” says Stephanie Vermillon, author of the new book 100 Nights Of A Lifetime: The World’s Ultimate Adventures After Dark. “Our senses are heightened, and there are things you see at night that you don’t see any other time, so everything feels exciting and new.”
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It was a 2010 trip to Morocco that sparked Vermillon’s interest in all things nocturnal. “I grew up in Dayton, Ohio, which has terrible light pollution,” she tells the BBC. “Then I went to the Sahara Desert and camped under the stars – I saw the Milky Way and two dozen shooting stars that night. I went home, took an astronomy class and later started hunting Northern Lights, which got me curious about what else happens around the world after dark.”
Vermillon believes that major events such as the April 2024 total solar eclipse or the 2024-2025 peak in aurora activity has led to a “bump” in the number of people wanting to experience dark skies. There are also now more than 200 Dark Sky Reserves across the globe. “The great thing about the night sky is the perspective it gives you – it’s humbling and grounding,” she says. “You can experience pure awe.”
Starry skies and aurora borealis might be the headline acts, but there’s plenty more to do after dark in cities or out in nature. “You see a city so differently at night,” Vermillon says. “I think of it as a city letting its hair down – it’s more relaxed. I’ve also done night safaris, where it’s more about listening than just seeing, and I’ve seen water sparkling with bioluminescence, which looks like magic. Everything at night has a little extra sparkle.”
Here are five of Vermillon’s favourite after-dark experiences, from fiery cultural festivals to nature’s greatest sky dance.
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From fiery festivals to nature’s most dazzling “sky-dance”, interest in the night skies is booming, with “noctourism” poised to be a major travel trend in 2025.
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Interest in the night skies is booming. Booking.com recently named “noctourism” as a top travel trend for 2025, with their survey of more than 27,000 travellers finding that around two-thirds have considered going to “darker sky destinations” to experience things like starbathing (lying down and looking at the night skies) and witnessing once-in-a-lifetime cosmic events.
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“The cool thing about night adventures is you see so many different sides to a destination, by just staying up late or rising early,” says Stephanie Vermillon, author of the new book 100 Nights Of A Lifetime: The World’s Ultimate Adventures After Dark. “Our senses are heightened, and there are things you see at night that you don’t see any other time, so everything feels exciting and new.”
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It was a 2010 trip to Morocco that sparked Vermillon’s interest in all things nocturnal. “I grew up in Dayton, Ohio, which has terrible light pollution,” she tells the BBC. “Then I went to the Sahara Desert and camped under the stars – I saw the Milky Way and two dozen shooting stars that night. I went home, took an astronomy class and later started hunting Northern Lights, which got me curious about what else happens around the world after dark.”
Vermillon believes that major events such as the April 2024 total solar eclipse or the 2024-2025 peak in aurora activity has led to a “bump” in the number of people wanting to experience dark skies. There are also now more than 200 Dark Sky Reserves across the globe. “The great thing about the night sky is the perspective it gives you – it’s humbling and grounding,” she says. “You can experience pure awe.”
Starry skies and aurora borealis might be the headline acts, but there’s plenty more to do after dark in cities or out in nature. “You see a city so differently at night,” Vermillon says. “I think of it as a city letting its hair down – it’s more relaxed. I’ve also done night safaris, where it’s more about listening than just seeing, and I’ve seen water sparkling with bioluminescence, which looks like magic. Everything at night has a little extra sparkle.”
Here are five of Vermillon’s favourite after-dark experiences, from fiery cultural festivals to nature’s greatest sky dance.
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From fiery festivals to nature’s most dazzling “sky-dance”, interest in the night skies is booming, with “noctourism” poised to be a major travel trend in 2025.
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Interest in the night skies is booming. Booking.com recently named “noctourism” as a top travel trend for 2025, with their survey of more than 27,000 travellers finding that around two-thirds have considered going to “darker sky destinations” to experience things like starbathing (lying down and looking at the night skies) and witnessing once-in-a-lifetime cosmic events.
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“The cool thing about night adventures is you see so many different sides to a destination, by just staying up late or rising early,” says Stephanie Vermillon, author of the new book 100 Nights Of A Lifetime: The World’s Ultimate Adventures After Dark. “Our senses are heightened, and there are things you see at night that you don’t see any other time, so everything feels exciting and new.”
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It was a 2010 trip to Morocco that sparked Vermillon’s interest in all things nocturnal. “I grew up in Dayton, Ohio, which has terrible light pollution,” she tells the BBC. “Then I went to the Sahara Desert and camped under the stars – I saw the Milky Way and two dozen shooting stars that night. I went home, took an astronomy class and later started hunting Northern Lights, which got me curious about what else happens around the world after dark.”
Vermillon believes that major events such as the April 2024 total solar eclipse or the 2024-2025 peak in aurora activity has led to a “bump” in the number of people wanting to experience dark skies. There are also now more than 200 Dark Sky Reserves across the globe. “The great thing about the night sky is the perspective it gives you – it’s humbling and grounding,” she says. “You can experience pure awe.”
Starry skies and aurora borealis might be the headline acts, but there’s plenty more to do after dark in cities or out in nature. “You see a city so differently at night,” Vermillon says. “I think of it as a city letting its hair down – it’s more relaxed. I’ve also done night safaris, where it’s more about listening than just seeing, and I’ve seen water sparkling with bioluminescence, which looks like magic. Everything at night has a little extra sparkle.”
Here are five of Vermillon’s favourite after-dark experiences, from fiery cultural festivals to nature’s greatest sky dance.
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