Getting Stuck During Conversations

A guy named Untamed posed a pretty common sticking point up on mASF about faltering in conversations after the initial opener.

Untamed writes:
I am having this problem lately which i get stuck during first few minutes of the set..

right after opening, I start telling stories or run routines or so fourth.. if they don’t buy it..and not cooperate, i get silent and eject..

i know it’s the wrong thing to do but i am getting a problem talking without finding a common thing we are both interested in it, can help create attraction..

I am not sure about asking too many questions about herself.

Anyone got a good advice ?

I see this type of thing happen time and time again with guys who are new to seduction.  They bull-charge right in with canned material, and then get stuck when the girl doesn’t respond in the expected manner.

First off, this needs to be pointed out – routines are not meant just to keep your gums flapping!

Seriously, your goal with canned material isn’t just to talk AT the girl.  Rather, it’s to ENGAGE the girl.  Get her interested in what you have to say and offer.  Walking up to a chick and saying "Gosh, did you see that fight outside?" isn’t about trying to create attraction and get her horny for you.  It’s about engaging her in a conversation she finds interesting.

That is the true purpose of routines and patterns – to give you a way to connect.

But it’s not just what you say that’s important.  It’s HOW you say it!  If you deliver a routine like you’re reciting a memorized play, or if you look nervous or feel awkward, or don’t make eye contact, or whatever – it’s not going to help your cause.

You need to smile.  You need to have good energy.  You have to come off as genuine.  And most importantly, you need to have FUN.

Girls respond to positivity.  They respond to excitement.  It doesn’t matter what you say to a girl as long as you say it the RiGHT WAY.  If you’re mumbling your way through a boring story, no one is going to give a care.

This is something that’s solved not only with the right attitude, but the ability to establish rapport.  Everything in seduction stems from the ability to create and deepen rapport.  If your routines aren’t connecting with the girl, you need to change your tactics.

When I get stuck in an interaction, I’ll simply start asking her questions about herself or something I find interesting.  The key here is to actually BE INTERESTED in the answer of the question you’re asking.  Do you really care what she does for a living?  If not, DON’T ASK HER THAT.  Ask her something you are interested in.  Like "Let me ask you – what does a guy have to do to be considered a boyfriend by the average woman?"  I’d like to know that.  Is a boyfriend someone she spends a lot of time with?  Does she have to sleep with a guy before he’s considered a boyfriend?  Etc.

Interesting questions yield interesting conversations.

Even uninteresting questions can yield great results if you actually care about the answer.

But it’s important to remember that not all girls will respond to you.  Beating a dead horse gets you nowhere.  If you find the girl isn’t responding well to you, eject, and move on.  There are lots of girls who WILL respond well to you, and it’s your job to FIND them.