How To Get Rid Of Neediness
June 22, 2007 by Thundercat
Filed under Tips & Tricks
So a guy going by the handle Green over on mASF had a question about overcoming neediness…
Green
Recently I thought about times when i had conversations with girls,and analysed what i have said in those convos , i realised that I sometimes act needy.ItВґs very difficult to see your needyness yourself unless someone tells you or you think back and realize it. And then itВґs tooo late!
How do you guys dust off all your needyness that you have towards women?
IВґm grateful for any responses and advice that anyone has!
I found this question to be quite interesting because, well, I think a lot of guys suffer from this.
When talking to a woman, SO MANY guys are like a starving dog, wagging their tails, excited that they might actually get laid.
And though it might not be obvious to them, it’s obvious to pretty much everyone else.
Other than approach anxiety, I’d say learning to overcome neediness is the biggest obstacle a newbie has to face.
The best way, in my opinion, to get rid of neediness is to shift your focus away from that which is causing you to be needy.
First of all, what do you feel you need?
Is it sex? Validation? Emotional connection? All of the above? Figure that out first. What is it that’s causing you to be needy?
For most guys, once they get the sense that they might actually have a chance of having sex with a girl, it’s like a slab of meat has just been thrown to a hungry dog. They pounce on it, because they want it so bad!
And when you go after something so directly, it can scare people off.
So if you notice you’re getting needy because you want to have sex, shift your focus to something else! Instead of looking to get this girl into bed, say to yourself "You know what? Let’s forget about that for now, and just focus on getting to know her (or have fun with her)."
Once you shift your focus, you can start to relax, because the "pressure to get her into bed" will disappear.
Another way to do this is to find something that fulfills your need. Ever notice how married guys or guys with girlfriends seem to attract women easier than single guys? That’s because they’re getting their sex needs fulfilled, so they tend to relax around girls, and that relaxed attitude helps make the girls attracted to them – because they naturally tease them, joke with them, and have fun with them.
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Pope Leo XIV celebrated the first Christmas since his election by denouncing the suffering of people of Gaza – taking shelter in tents from the “rain, wind and cold” – and by calling for the guns to fall silent in Ukraine.
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On Christmas Day, the first US-born pope, offered the traditional “Urbi et Orbi” blessing (“To the City and to the World”) from the balcony of St Peter’s, surveying a world speckled with conflicts from Yemen to Myanmar, and calling for compassion towards those who have fled their homelands to seek a future in Europe and America.
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Leo, who was elected on May 8, said Thursday that Jesus Christ is “our peace” because he “shows us the way to overcome conflicts, whether interpersonal or international. With his grace, we can and must each day our part to reject hatred, violence and opposition, and to practice dialogue, peace and reconciliation.”
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The pontiff began by asking for “justice, peace and stability” for Lebanon, the Palestinian territories, Israel and Syria. Later, he said that, by becoming man, “Jesus took upon himself our fragility,” allowing him to identify “with those who have nothing left and have lost everything, like the inhabitants of Gaza.”
Leo celebrates Christmas Holy Mass at the Vatican.
Leo celebrates Christmas Holy Mass at the Vatican. Yara Nardi/Reuters
Leo holds an incent burner at St Peter’s Basilica.
Leo holds an incent burner at St Peter’s Basilica. Tiziana Fabi/AFP/Getty Images
The pope’s first Christmas since his election took place in wet and cold conditions, but that failed to deter large crowds from coming out to hear his message.
Earlier during Mass, he asked how, at Christmas, “can we not think of the tents in Gaza, exposed for weeks to rain, wind and cold.” With more than 400,000 homes destroyed during Israel’s war against Hamas, Gazans are being forced to choose this winter between living in tents exposed to the elements or living inside buildings that could collapse any minute.
“Fragile is the flesh of defenseless populations, tried by so many wars, ongoing or concluded, leaving behind rubble and open wounds,” Leo said. He quoted an Israeli poet, Yehuda Amichai, who called for peace to blossom “like wildflowers.”
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The acting Latin Patriarch of Jerusalem Pierbattista Pizzaballa attends a morning Mass at Saint Catherine’s Church, in the Church of the Nativity, in Bethlehem, in the Israeli-occupied West Bank December 25, 2025. REUTERS/Mussa Qawasma
Christmas celebrated once again in Bethlehem but West Bank suffering persists
Later during his Christmas message, he called for compassion towards those “who are fleeing their homeland to seek a future elsewhere, like the many refugees and migrants who cross the Mediterranean or traverse the American continent.” He offered Christmas greetings in different languages including Italian, English, Arabic, Chinese, Polish.
Since his election, Leo has highlighted the plight of those suffering of those in Gaza, and has been outspoken by calling for the better treatment of migrants. In his first major interview in September, the American pope voiced concern over “some things” happening in the country of his birth, highlighting the significance of a letter his predecessor, Pope Francis, had sent to US bishops earlier this year, rebuking the administration’s deportation plans.
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Pope Leo XIV celebrated the first Christmas since his election by denouncing the suffering of people of Gaza – taking shelter in tents from the “rain, wind and cold” – and by calling for the guns to fall silent in Ukraine.
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On Christmas Day, the first US-born pope, offered the traditional “Urbi et Orbi” blessing (“To the City and to the World”) from the balcony of St Peter’s, surveying a world speckled with conflicts from Yemen to Myanmar, and calling for compassion towards those who have fled their homelands to seek a future in Europe and America.
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Leo, who was elected on May 8, said Thursday that Jesus Christ is “our peace” because he “shows us the way to overcome conflicts, whether interpersonal or international. With his grace, we can and must each day our part to reject hatred, violence and opposition, and to practice dialogue, peace and reconciliation.”
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The pontiff began by asking for “justice, peace and stability” for Lebanon, the Palestinian territories, Israel and Syria. Later, he said that, by becoming man, “Jesus took upon himself our fragility,” allowing him to identify “with those who have nothing left and have lost everything, like the inhabitants of Gaza.”
Leo celebrates Christmas Holy Mass at the Vatican.
Leo celebrates Christmas Holy Mass at the Vatican. Yara Nardi/Reuters
Leo holds an incent burner at St Peter’s Basilica.
Leo holds an incent burner at St Peter’s Basilica. Tiziana Fabi/AFP/Getty Images
The pope’s first Christmas since his election took place in wet and cold conditions, but that failed to deter large crowds from coming out to hear his message.
Earlier during Mass, he asked how, at Christmas, “can we not think of the tents in Gaza, exposed for weeks to rain, wind and cold.” With more than 400,000 homes destroyed during Israel’s war against Hamas, Gazans are being forced to choose this winter between living in tents exposed to the elements or living inside buildings that could collapse any minute.
“Fragile is the flesh of defenseless populations, tried by so many wars, ongoing or concluded, leaving behind rubble and open wounds,” Leo said. He quoted an Israeli poet, Yehuda Amichai, who called for peace to blossom “like wildflowers.”
Related article
The acting Latin Patriarch of Jerusalem Pierbattista Pizzaballa attends a morning Mass at Saint Catherine’s Church, in the Church of the Nativity, in Bethlehem, in the Israeli-occupied West Bank December 25, 2025. REUTERS/Mussa Qawasma
Christmas celebrated once again in Bethlehem but West Bank suffering persists
Later during his Christmas message, he called for compassion towards those “who are fleeing their homeland to seek a future elsewhere, like the many refugees and migrants who cross the Mediterranean or traverse the American continent.” He offered Christmas greetings in different languages including Italian, English, Arabic, Chinese, Polish.
Since his election, Leo has highlighted the plight of those suffering of those in Gaza, and has been outspoken by calling for the better treatment of migrants. In his first major interview in September, the American pope voiced concern over “some things” happening in the country of his birth, highlighting the significance of a letter his predecessor, Pope Francis, had sent to US bishops earlier this year, rebuking the administration’s deportation plans.
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