How To Get Rid Of Neediness
June 22, 2007 by Thundercat
Filed under Tips & Tricks
So a guy going by the handle Green over on mASF had a question about overcoming neediness…
Green
Recently I thought about times when i had conversations with girls,and analysed what i have said in those convos , i realised that I sometimes act needy.ItВґs very difficult to see your needyness yourself unless someone tells you or you think back and realize it. And then itВґs tooo late!
How do you guys dust off all your needyness that you have towards women?
IВґm grateful for any responses and advice that anyone has!
I found this question to be quite interesting because, well, I think a lot of guys suffer from this.
When talking to a woman, SO MANY guys are like a starving dog, wagging their tails, excited that they might actually get laid.
And though it might not be obvious to them, it’s obvious to pretty much everyone else.
Other than approach anxiety, I’d say learning to overcome neediness is the biggest obstacle a newbie has to face.
The best way, in my opinion, to get rid of neediness is to shift your focus away from that which is causing you to be needy.
First of all, what do you feel you need?
Is it sex? Validation? Emotional connection? All of the above? Figure that out first. What is it that’s causing you to be needy?
For most guys, once they get the sense that they might actually have a chance of having sex with a girl, it’s like a slab of meat has just been thrown to a hungry dog. They pounce on it, because they want it so bad!
And when you go after something so directly, it can scare people off.
So if you notice you’re getting needy because you want to have sex, shift your focus to something else! Instead of looking to get this girl into bed, say to yourself "You know what? Let’s forget about that for now, and just focus on getting to know her (or have fun with her)."
Once you shift your focus, you can start to relax, because the "pressure to get her into bed" will disappear.
Another way to do this is to find something that fulfills your need. Ever notice how married guys or guys with girlfriends seem to attract women easier than single guys? That’s because they’re getting their sex needs fulfilled, so they tend to relax around girls, and that relaxed attitude helps make the girls attracted to them – because they naturally tease them, joke with them, and have fun with them.
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Related article
The wreckage of the Mary Rose at The Mary Rose Museum in Portsmouth, England.
A Tudor warship sank nearly 500 years ago. The bones of its crew reveal what life was like
And then there are advancements in technology. “Side-scan sonar used to cost $100,000 back in 1980,” he said. “The one we used to find this (shipwreck) was just over $10,000. They’ve really come down in price.”
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